Categories
self-care trump

Put the Oxygen Mask on Yourself First: Dealing with the new realities of Trump’s America

Take care or yourself, or else you wont be able to take care of others
Take care or yourself, or else you wont be able to take care of others

When I finally went to bed late last night, there was a small part of me that hoped I would wake up this morning to find that Donald Trump’s improbable victory had been nothing more than a very bad dream.

Barring that, which I knew was a bit of a long shot, I hoped that I would at least wake up with the inklings of a plan for what to do about this catastrophe. I hoped I could write a rousing blog post sketching out my thoughts on the road ahead– for this blog and for the anti-Trump movement as a whole.

Alas, that didn’t happen either. I’m still processing the bad news, emotionally and intellectually. And I know a lot of you are doing the same.

And that’s ok. Trump will not take office until the end of January. There will be plenty of time to come up with ways to fight back against the orange one.

Right now the important thing is to take care of ourselves and those around us. Give yourself however much time you need. Avoid stress. Don’t beat yourself up for what happened, and don’t take out your anger on others on our side. Turn off the news if need be. Do whatever you need to do to clear your head and keep yourself safe.

In the comments here, feel free to continue the discussion that started in the “VOTE” post yesterday. And please share any self-help and self-care strategies you have — even if all you’ve got at the moment is pictures of cats and videos of hedgehogs.

If trolls show up, or if there is anything else that pops up in the thread that I should know about, please send me an email about it.

We can fight this thing. We can beat this thing. But first we need to get ourselves centered.

654 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Skiriki
Skiriki
8 years ago

@JoaquinRL1

I don’t think it will harm feminism, per se. Feminism is an idea which is now nigh-impossible to extinguish.

What happens, however, is violations and assaults against women (and those perceived as women).

Are you ready for awful?

It is gonna be very awful.

Like, wall to wall awful, non-stop, makes you vomit and cry at the same time awful.

Such as this:

http://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cw_V5YMXcAAyliH.jpg

Or this:

http://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cw-xtTOWQAAzamR.jpg

Ten. She is ten years old.

http://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cw6AEABXEAE6tkx.jpg

http://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cw3qSAgXgAEt4HM.jpg

http://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cw3rTc9WEAA8SJE.jpg

Elsewhere, someone posted “Just overheard: Now that Trump is the president, does that mean we can do whatever we want to do with women?”

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
8 years ago

@weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo
You see chaos for the poors and the blacks/jewish/asian/middle eastern/disabled/gay/trans/women, not any inconvenience to them of course.

Pho with Beef and Basil
Pho with Beef and Basil
8 years ago

Have heard twice so far in less than an hour, in two different programs (Phillipa Thomas on BBC News hour, Laura Heckler on Diane Rehm Show) that NPR/Michigan Radio considers the peaceful, organized protests against Trump’s nomination deserving of more censure than the violent, physically dangerous and intimidating revenge taken by emboldened Trump supporters.

What the fuck, NPR.

Cynical Optimist
Cynical Optimist
8 years ago

@Skiriki

I’m saving this stuff to my phone. Next time I run into someone who denies this stuff happens, I’m pulling these up and asking them to explain this now.

sunnysombrera
8 years ago

Elsewhere, someone posted “Just overheard: Now that Trump is the president, does that mean we can do whatever we want to do with women?”

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the voice of the now empowered alt-right. They’ve come out of the cyber shadows and into everyday life. 🙁

*shudder*

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo

Joaquin,

Are you sure that’s not a troll question? Because it was worded in a slightly hostile way.

Well, Trump will appoint right wing justices who could overturn Roe v. Wade which would mean states could outlaw abortion. Congress could overturn the Lily Ledbetter Act which will make it easier for employers to discriminate and pay women less. Overturning Obama care will mean many women will lose birth control coverage. That’s in addition to the cuts to government assistance which will disproportionately harm mothers.

Satisfied? Are you going to quit acting like we’re all hysterical now?

kupo
kupo
8 years ago

@Concern troll
You understand neither feminism nor the American government. Are you sure you’re in the right place? Why do you even care enough to “just ask”?

For my francophone friends: https://secure.avaaz.org/campaign/fr/president_trump_letter_loc/

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
8 years ago

I just realized, if the FBI fail to jail the bundys and co in the nevada trial, that pretty much gives these people the okay to make actual brownshirts.

Weird (We'll set this valley free before we're through) Eddie
Weird (We'll set this valley free before we're through) Eddie
8 years ago

@ joaquin

are constitutional protections THAT feeble

“Constitutional protections” are only as effective as their enforcement. And their meaning is very much determined by the (soon to be former) supreme court’s interpretation. We’ve already had a justice (I use the term metaphorically) who has said OUT LOUD that actual innocence of a crime is not a constitutional bar to upholding a conviction (those with real functioning brains would hold that the FUCKING EXISTENCE of the Constitution constitutes a bar to upholding such a conviction). That justice is dead, and will be replaced by The Cheeto.

Whether the white liberals want to admit it or not, The Cheeto has made it clear that he does not respect ANY rule he did not make. He has the congress on his side, and he will shortly have the supreme court on his side.

are constitutional protections THAT feeble

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK!?!?!?!?!?!

pk1154
pk1154
8 years ago

@Rhuu

Yes, it’s silly, but the fact that Zoë Quinn’s Kickstater passed her goal put a smile on my face, at least for a moment.

Weird (We'll set this valley free before we're through) Eddie
Weird (We'll set this valley free before we're through) Eddie
8 years ago

@ pk1154

Little victories!! Is that the Chuck Tingle video game project?? If so, not so little a victory, as that’ll cause the igno-right some apoplexy (incapacity or speechlessness caused by extreme anger)!

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
8 years ago

Thanks for the added info re: immigration, all! I was just repeating what Suity McLawyerman was saying on the TV box. Good to have the gaps filled in.

are constitutional protections THAT feeble

Constitutional protections are as strong or weak as the will of the people enforcing those laws. Given that the US government has been busy tearing down protections against corporate oligarchy for the past – what, 30 years? – the will of the people in charge to uphold the Constitution is as strong as the donation cheque they receive to do so.

And before you turn your nose up at the Americans and their sorry state, recognize that the rest of the world is a demagogue away from being in the exact same position.

Right now in my own province the conservative parties are in a death struggle between the progressive wing and the … we’ll call’em the regressive wing. And the same alt-right protofascists are howling at the women trying to keep the progressive side alive – complete with Trump gifs. And the entire fucking Conservative Party caucus is ignoring the harassment and hate – not even a word of sympathy.

This isn’t about Americans being American. This is about terrible humans being allowed to spread hate.

booburry
booburry
8 years ago

Of fucking course white people on my fb are whining about the “riots”. Made sure to check and see if they had anything to say about any of the dozens+ incidents of bigoted harassment that has been reported since Tuesday. Of fucking course not. These people think they’re on the outside with nothing to do with it because they didn’t personally vote for Trump, but as far as I can see they are just as much a part of the problem. The shit bigots can’t continue like they do in this country without cover and white folks seem to jump at that chance. I say this as a white person. I feel extremely helpless in changing the behaviors of those around me much as I try.

Oh and of course I’ve seen people share that supposed video of a Trump supporter getting beat up. Funny that, they are so appalled but when cops shoot black folks on video I just don’t see them eager to share.

Sarah
Sarah
8 years ago

Women are getting sexually assaulted — specifically, GRABBED IN THE CROTCH — because of who you voted for.

So, um, if anybody wants a teeny tiny bit of a historical, personal perspective, I wrote this on my twitter.

(BTW, if I’m blocking anybody, I’m sorry. I’m very, very aggressive with the blockbots and the block chain widgets. As long as you’re not a complete piece of shit, I will unblock you. Let me know or get someone to ask me.)

Laugher at Bigots, Mincing Betaboy

All those FB posts @Skiriki posted are utterly sickening. But it’s heartening that the comments were mostly supportive.

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
8 years ago

My folks are complaining about the riots. They rolled their eyes when I told them about the suicides, and about how the suicide prevention hotline is off the hook. They laughed derisively at the people terrified of what Trump might do, and said that everyone should “give Trump a chance”. Fortunately, they got a little serious when I started telling them the who’s who of his cabinet appointments. I’m really, really hoping they come to realize just how shitty that their first reaction is.

Laugher at Bigots
Laugher at Bigots
8 years ago

I have added “Mincing Betaboy” to my commenter handle from Heartiste’s unintentionally hilarious article about how male Hillary supporters are “mincing betaboys”.

kupo
kupo
8 years ago

The Onionesque headline I came up with this morning:

‘You Need to Be More Tolerant of Bigots’ Says Man Who Can’t Even Tolerate People With Food Allergies

“I mean, does everything have to be dairy-free, soy-free wussy food these days?!” man says unironically, immediately before chiding friends and family on Facebook for not putting up with more face-punching from toddler-in-chief supporters.

pk1154
pk1154
8 years ago

@Weird (We’ll set this valley free before we’re through) Eddie

It is indeed the Chuck Tingle project. The refund I got when the ARKYD Space Telescope Kickstarter folded has been invested into Zoë’s project (and a couple of WHTM donations).

Paradoxical Intention - Resident Cheeseburger Slut

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo | November 11, 2016 at 7:39 am
I mean, really. These people wanted chaos. Now they can’t handle it for two days?

Ah, but see: They wanted chaos where they could safely view it.

They wanted to see chaos. Not be part of it. They were hoping to watch this on the news, eating popcorn safely on their couch in their quiet neighborhoods while they got to watch all the violence, fear, and anger porn on TV from a safe distance.

But now they have to deal with the consequences of it, and now that means that it’s not fair.

Skiriki
Skiriki
8 years ago

@PI

Maybe they should watch this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wImBk5PO9GQ

Or, do you think it might be too subtle for them?

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
8 years ago

@Nanuqi

Apology accepted. It really wasn’t that big of a deal, but I appreciate your reply.

As you probably understand, your comment was just one of many straws which broke my camel humps. When you live with chronic pains, you get absolutely swamped with suggestions to try “different paradigms”, “Eastern medicine”, “traditional/natural remedies”, “alternative treatments”, etc, and all these things always turn out to mean “eat only blueberries for a month” or “swim in salt water while stuffing your nose with super-crystals blessed by the previous pope”, and so on. I don’t have the time to sift through all these suggestions to maybe, possibly find one gem that could maybe help me in some way. Unless there’s a specific, evidence based treatment that I have good reason to believe would make a difference, I genuinely have no other option than to dismiss it all as quackery. I don’t have the time or energy or resources to transform my entire life into a live Mythbusters marathon.

I don’t mean to pile on, but just now I happened to have the patience to type out what your original comment made me think. I’ll assume you already understand where my frustration came from. In isolation, your comment wouldn’t have irritated me that much. You just caught me at a bad moment.

The Adjunct
The Adjunct
8 years ago

Hi mammotheers,

I’ve been lurking for too long!

Anyone in SW Florida? The barnes and noble in Naples is hosting Newt Fucking Gingrich for a book signing on the 26th. I just called them to let them know im boycotting them and will be picketing the event if they do not cancel. I was condescended to “Do you actually shop at this location? You have a right to free speech but we don’t censor, he’s just here promoting a fictional book.”

Answer, I easily spend thousands on books a year, but for sure you’ll never see a red cent. Your stance on freeze peach legitimises real hatred and real harm to real people!!! I’m not having it!!

I will picket all by my own DAMN self in bright red florida because I’m a nasty woman and I’m done being afraid I’m fucking terrified, really fucking terrified that our democracy is LITERALLY GOING TO FALL APART and it’s not too fucking far in the future we literally get armageddon. And I’ve got to do everything I can to stand in the way.

I really should join twitter but I have no social media bc of scary scary stalkers but I’m feeling.. like maybe my security is secondary now?

The event page

Nanuqi
Nanuqi
8 years ago

@PI I understand. What makes my post so abominable to me is a) I freak when people transgress my stated boundaries, and b) I am frequently overwhelmed by the gazillion recommendations of methods, treatments, diets and practices that people recommend to me for my issues. I truly don’t know WTF was wrong with me (working on that); bad moments all round. Thanks again.

Samantha
Samantha
8 years ago

@Snowberry

My apologies, and of course I will never use the initials for Adolf Caligula Mussolini here again.

On a happier (?) note, I have begun to come out the other side of my shock and despair. For all who do not know me, which will be many since, for health reasons, I have been off this blog for about a year, I am a 66 year-old grandmother, partially disabled, with a wonderful life and family in Oregon. All of my life, I have fought, in every way I was able and while raising four amazing kids, for social, economic, educational and environmental justice and equality. I am a progressive liberal feminist and am happy to be so.

All of that said, my rage is coming out in the light of the travesty of Trumps “election.” There appears to be evidence of vote tampering that gave him the win. He is a criminal with a number of civil and criminal lawsuits pending. He is a FAILED businessman who has NO experience in governance. He is not qualified to be dog catcher.

Now for a bit of hopeful news. The electors do not vote until Dec. 19. Since that is my birthday, I am magically hoping for a miracle. Silly, I know. But, there is a movement, along with a petition on Change.org, to get the electors to install Clinton.

If they do, it could m sean civil war. The numbers of people who choose fear and hate have grown over the years of neglect and disenfranchisement by our government. This is the reality. They see every gain, social and economic, made by “the other” as a loss for themselves. Trump knows this and uses it to gain power. And he succeeded. As a nasty aside, maybe he is trying to prove to his father’s spirit that Donny really does have the biggest penis in the history of the world. Aside aside, what remains is to decide what to do.

Support every truly progressive action, with our m k Nye, our time, our ideas and festivities, and our bodies. Next Tuesday, Nov. 15, I am going to my local Army Core of Engineers center and protesting the Dakota Pipeline. There are similar protests going on around the world on that day. Trump has signaled that the treaties with Native folk are to be suspended so that drilling for whatever can happen on their land. As a Human Being, I cannot sit by. Walking and standing are very painful for many of us, but some of us, myself included, are going to happily stand that day.

We must all, people of good will, people of Earth, find the ways we can take our stands and hold the line against the evil that threatens life. I was foolish enough to think that my active part in this was over. After all, I am getting old and have seen healthier days.

Thank all the Goddesses and Gods, the spirits of all living, that I am waking up again.

1 19 20 21 22 23 27