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self-care trump

Put the Oxygen Mask on Yourself First: Dealing with the new realities of Trump’s America

Take care or yourself, or else you wont be able to take care of others
Take care or yourself, or else you wont be able to take care of others

When I finally went to bed late last night, there was a small part of me that hoped I would wake up this morning to find that Donald Trump’s improbable victory had been nothing more than a very bad dream.

Barring that, which I knew was a bit of a long shot, I hoped that I would at least wake up with the inklings of a plan for what to do about this catastrophe. I hoped I could write a rousing blog post sketching out my thoughts on the road ahead– for this blog and for the anti-Trump movement as a whole.

Alas, that didn’t happen either. I’m still processing the bad news, emotionally and intellectually. And I know a lot of you are doing the same.

And that’s ok. Trump will not take office until the end of January. There will be plenty of time to come up with ways to fight back against the orange one.

Right now the important thing is to take care of ourselves and those around us. Give yourself however much time you need. Avoid stress. Don’t beat yourself up for what happened, and don’t take out your anger on others on our side. Turn off the news if need be. Do whatever you need to do to clear your head and keep yourself safe.

In the comments here, feel free to continue the discussion that started in the “VOTE” post yesterday. And please share any self-help and self-care strategies you have — even if all you’ve got at the moment is pictures of cats and videos of hedgehogs.

If trolls show up, or if there is anything else that pops up in the thread that I should know about, please send me an email about it.

We can fight this thing. We can beat this thing. But first we need to get ourselves centered.

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Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
8 years ago

@Weird (when the fog had cleared my vision was bleared) Eddie
Your comment on the white working middle class is the mindset that the “liberals” that voted third party/trump. They think by burning the ship and everyone on board we’ll get a better ship.

I don’t put much stock in the Establishment Dems realizing that they need to be the populist party for positive change for everyone. Why should they care? They already get paid off by the same donors who are going to benefit even more with tax cuts on top of their billions and trillions in off shore accounts.

It feels like watching a deer in the headlights, I’m not even sure if they were to become extinct would make them realize their errors.

Weird (and stunned) Eddie
Weird (and stunned) Eddie
8 years ago

while fighting them we should refrain from expressing rage. It is not strategic, since it will only fuel their victimhood mentality

Now is not the time to be asking the victims of The Cheeto to show mercy.

sunnysombrera
8 years ago

Now is not the time to be asking the victims of The Cheeto to show mercy.

I didn’t say that either.

I still maintain my view that the frothing rage we’re experiencing must be kept controlled when dealing with them, purely for strategic reasons. Not for the sake of feels and being nice. Fight and restrict them whenever possible, and be VERY firm or even brutal, but be cold and calculating on the whole.

And with that I’ll leave it there.

Weird (and stunned) Eddie
Weird (and stunned) Eddie
8 years ago

@ Oogly

You’re right. The party democrats aren’t (as) interested in alleviating injustice, they’re interested in getting elected and getting a majority. They’re more likely to address injustice because their basic platform does. In ’20 they’re as likely to run a moderate, since they’ll think that person will have a better chance. (The Hubert Humphrey of our time) Assuming of course that the universe ISN’T on fire, and it may well be. We desperately need a viable (not libertarian) third party.. One that can command enough votes to get some legislative representation while being not libertarian. Also, not libertarian.

Mij
Mij
8 years ago

In the last few days, there has been talk here that commenter here were considering creating a forum to organize a progressive cause. I was wondering if someone chips direct me to posts to that effect so I could learn more about it.

Headologist
Headologist
8 years ago

@Weatherwax (hi, fellow British Pratchett witch lover)

Yeah, I don’t think we ever grew out of it, just it’s too unseemly in the UK to say outright you think you’re better. But if the weird cultism that still follows the poppy, and Brexit, is anything to go by – we just learned to hide it better.

I mean, sure we don’t have the same level of outward indoctrination (the pledge of allegiance at schools, for example) but I sadly don’t think that means we’re much better. Having said that, I’ve spent time in Brighton and I do reckon that it’s a lot less obvious there, the common attitudes tend to be a lot less nationalist and a lot more city-hippie (I love Brighton.)

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
8 years ago

Kamala Harris 2020

Weird (when the fog had cleared my vision was bleared) Eddie
Weird (when the fog had cleared my vision was bleared) Eddie
8 years ago

@ Sunnysombrera

Apologies, I parsed that COMPLETELY wrong. That was a comment of the type that just can’t be made in print, requires body language and inflection. I know what you meant and, while I would LOVE to grab the mindless bastards by the necks and scream at them until their ears bleed… I know what you meant. Again, apologies.

sunnysombrera
8 years ago

No worries, Weird. 🙂

Weird (when the fog had cleared my vision was bleared) Eddie
Weird (when the fog had cleared my vision was bleared) Eddie
8 years ago

@ Axe

Kamala Harris 2020

Hmmm… not familiar with her, but 2 minnits of Google left me impressed. Hopefully she’ll make some waves in Washington.

Kamala Harris: ‘Do Not Despair. Do Not Be Overwhelmed.’

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
8 years ago

Hi there @DLT, @IJustWantedToBeAWeeb, come on in! Grab a chair. There are scented candles and kitties if you feel like misanderin’.

@IJustWantedToBeAWeeb, take heart! CS degrees aren’t worth nearly as much as portfolios. If school dries up on you (I hope it doesn’t), work on your portfolio. Honestly, work on that even otherwise. Learn Apache stuff, learn algorithms, learn Hadoop and Spark and Hive. Having a portfolio of real work (even if it’s not commercial work) is worth way more than anything else.

You can do it!

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
8 years ago

@ Weird (and stunned) Eddie
If only the Commission on Presidential Debates was effectively expunged. That and a billion other things that keep 3rd parties from rising in power.

@DLT, @IJustWantedToBeAWeeb
We’ll make it through this.

Cleverforagirl
Cleverforagirl
8 years ago

So I’ve been thinking a lot today, and hopefully this won’t seem to odd (I have a trump related migraine so I may just be babbling.)

I don’t think I can organize, rally, protest. On a good day I don’t have the energy for that shit.

. . .but I’m very good at getting people what they need, and maybe that can be enough. Right now I’ve just been trying to assure those around me that I WILL make sure everyone gets the healthcare they need, and maybe I can even poke social services on behalf of some people?

So umm, US mammoth-teers, if y’all need something, let me know. I’m pretty good at helping people through social services and digging up private resources and such.

Malachi
Malachi
8 years ago

This guy seems to have some pretty good ideas.
https://www.facebook.com/mmflint/posts/10153915876426857

Weatherwax
Weatherwax
8 years ago

@Headologist

Hello!

It’s not about where you stand, it’s about which direction you face.

It’s when you start treating people as things.

(Apologies, non Pratchett fans. Those were both quotes from my namesake I thought Headologist would enjoy. I’ll stop now.)

Is being impolite still unBritish? It is in my book (although being cleverly rude seems to get a pass for some snobbish reason). But the Brexiteers seem to pick and choose their national stereotypes.

I suppose my original point was that the “uniquely virtuous” brand of nationalism seems to be an American brand of politicking. The rest of us, until the right’s resurgence, saved it for after dinner drinks, rather than trumpeting it in front of cameras.

Karalora
Karalora
8 years ago

@ Cleverforagirl

Armies need clerks and quartermasters as much as, if not more so, than soldiers. (I don’t like using military metaphors for us, but it was the first one that leapt to mind.)

Weatherwax
Weatherwax
8 years ago

@Cleverforagirl

If that’s your skill, and you have the time, I’m sure there are organisations that could use you, rather than waiting for ad hoc requests.

My mum has, since retiring as a teacher, been volunteering one day a week for an organisation that helps fill in forms, talk on the phone and generally help people decide their next steps. She didn’t have any special skills to start with, but there’s a whole community out there with basic (or no) literacy or needing help thinking through problems. Even having a friendly middle class voice to speak for you can make interactions with government agencies so much easier.

She found her role through her church, but if that sort of thing interests you, I’m sure there are local charities that could point you in a helpful direction.

Not to tell you what to do; just an idea.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
8 years ago

@Malachi
1-3: Awesome!
4: Eat my ass with a spoon, you stupid fuck!
5-7: Awesome!

86%… Not bad…

Jesalin
Jesalin
8 years ago

@Weatherwax

Never apologize for Pratchett quotes!

(Also a big Pratchett fan!)

Bina
8 years ago

Is the Drumpfite troll still here? If so, troll (and any lurkers who voted for that Cheeto-dusted shitheap), GO FUCK YOURSELF. Nobody owes you any politeness. Here’s why:

People are getting beaten up because of who you voted for.

People are seeing swastikas and racist graffiti everywhere because of who you voted for.

Muslim women are not safe in the streets if they wear their hijabs, because of who you voted for.

People are committing suicide because of who you voted for.

Women are getting sexually assaulted — specifically, GRABBED IN THE CROTCH — because of who you voted for.

People are being beset on all sides by emboldened sexists, racists, xenophobes and homophobes BECAUSE OF WHO YOU SHITFUCKERS VOTED FOR.

Life is going to be hellish for the next four years for decent folks, and it’s all because of who you voted for.

And you’re whining about “civility”? You should have thought of that before you donned the “TRUMP: FUCK YOUR FEELINGS” shirts, you whiny-ass titty-babies.

Nobody owes you one iota of respect, because by voting for the candidate of the worst side of the establishment (YES, THE MOTHERFUCKING ESTABLISHMENT!), you basically demonstrated that you have all the intelligence and rationality of a pile of day-old dog shit.

With flies crawling on it.

Now fuck off, and if you know what’s good for you, you’ll burn all your gimme hats, campaign shirts and lawn signs, and keep your mouths shut and your heads down for the next four years.

Better still, just NEVER VOTE AGAIN.

sparkalipoo
sparkalipoo
8 years ago

@weird eddie

I hope you don’t loose you’re job. Having the possibility that you’re company might go under because of this sounds really scary and I hope things pull through for you

Fabe
Fabe
8 years ago

I’m guessing all the trolls have been banned and their posts removed. or do I need to go back more pages?

Handsome "Punkle Stan" Jack

Maybe a Trump administration will have some good come out of it–

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
8 years ago

Just saw an interview with a Canadian Immigration lawyer, figured some of you dears might like some truuf.

So, as I said previously, two kinds of immigration, economic and non-economic. Economic means “I have a job and I’m coming to do it.” Normal immigration. Non-economic is a basket of a bunch of things. Refugees and the like.

The interview was about all the Americans wanting to come immigrate, naturally, and the news wasn’t great, but there’s an upside. So, “refugee” status is special, and requires that the country in question be declared a war zone, or somehow dangerous or inhospitable. Syria is the obvious example. America unfortunately doesn’t fall into this category, so you can’t use that.

… but there is another way.

See, there’s also a humanitarian category, in which the immigrant demonstrates that their country of origin is not safe for them. For example, a gay person from Russia, or a non-Christian in Saudi Arabia.

If you want to try this route, I suggest keeping records of local and federal news stories about your particular situation. White guys, I’m afraid this likely won’t help you. Women, minorities, LGBT? Sure is possible. You’d need to actually make a case that your situation is life-threatening, but given how things are? Sure could go that way.

Obviously, I want you to be able to stay in your homes, and to be welcomed and accepted there. But if that can’t work, perhaps we can get the most vulnerable of our mammoth-hunters somewhere safer up here.

Hoping no one has to actually do this <3

Laugher at Bigots
Laugher at Bigots
8 years ago

The only good that could come from a Groper administration is revolt and backlash against the hideous ideologies that empowered him (think denazification) and perhaps a well-needed chastisement of the United States and their trigger-happiness.

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