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self-care trump

Put the Oxygen Mask on Yourself First: Dealing with the new realities of Trump’s America

Take care or yourself, or else you wont be able to take care of others
Take care or yourself, or else you wont be able to take care of others

When I finally went to bed late last night, there was a small part of me that hoped I would wake up this morning to find that Donald Trump’s improbable victory had been nothing more than a very bad dream.

Barring that, which I knew was a bit of a long shot, I hoped that I would at least wake up with the inklings of a plan for what to do about this catastrophe. I hoped I could write a rousing blog post sketching out my thoughts on the road ahead– for this blog and for the anti-Trump movement as a whole.

Alas, that didn’t happen either. I’m still processing the bad news, emotionally and intellectually. And I know a lot of you are doing the same.

And that’s ok. Trump will not take office until the end of January. There will be plenty of time to come up with ways to fight back against the orange one.

Right now the important thing is to take care of ourselves and those around us. Give yourself however much time you need. Avoid stress. Don’t beat yourself up for what happened, and don’t take out your anger on others on our side. Turn off the news if need be. Do whatever you need to do to clear your head and keep yourself safe.

In the comments here, feel free to continue the discussion that started in the “VOTE” post yesterday. And please share any self-help and self-care strategies you have — even if all you’ve got at the moment is pictures of cats and videos of hedgehogs.

If trolls show up, or if there is anything else that pops up in the thread that I should know about, please send me an email about it.

We can fight this thing. We can beat this thing. But first we need to get ourselves centered.

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Weatherwax
Weatherwax
8 years ago

@ Weird Eddie

I remember Brighton from some reggae albums in the 80s, is it pretty cosmopolitan?

If you’re used to living in a large city, Brighton is a lot more racially homogenous than you’re used to. However it’s the gay capital of England and is much more “alternative” in its politics and culture. We have the UK’s only Green MP and – I suspect – more yoga studios per capita. I’m sure someone told me we also have more pubs per square mile than anywhere else in the UK, which I find believable (there are at least eight within a five minute walk from my front door, but I do live in the city centre!).

It’s a pretty tolerant place. I can’t see Trump enjoying it.

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
8 years ago

@JS
Well new media like the tyt is growing faster and I don’t doubt now than ever for themto overtake mainstream media. There will be hope there.
@Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Notice the single digit increases for nonwhite agents, and notice that it still is lower than the gains main in 2012. I hope Comey gets fired and Internal Affairs puts him and his followers through the ringer. It might not be that far fetched when disdain for him is Bipartisan and even in his own organization.

Weatherwax
Weatherwax
8 years ago

@ Laugher at Bigots

Not saying Britain’s any better, but it’s been a while since we were singing the “we’re better than everyone else” song.

What made you grow out of it?

I would say a combination of leaving colonialism behind and working within the EU with countries that had similar values (but different histories etc). Of course Brexit has disinterred the Little Englander that I thought was dead and buried. So perhaps I’ve spoken too soon.

Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent
Troubelle: Moonbeam Malcontent
8 years ago

re:pacifism, Trump supporter injured

Yes, the left has a better reputation when it comes to Not Doing A Violence. But we can’t control the actions of an individual directly.

(((VioletBeauregarde))): Crooked Nasty Social Justice Necromancer
(((VioletBeauregarde))): Crooked Nasty Social Justice Necromancer
8 years ago

I would like to apologize for Troompa Loompa being elected. I didn’t vote for him and I’m devastated that he was elected too. Just to let you know, I still consider you family (ALL of you). I have signed petitions to get Troompa Loompa out of office and to bridge the electoral votes with the popular vote (so that the electoral college will echo the popular vote). Stay strong and stick together. I know this sounds cheesy as hell but I mean every word!

Fishy Goat
Fishy Goat
8 years ago

@ Troubelle I just hope I don’t see anyone saying that it’s ok! 😛

The Student
The Student
8 years ago

@kupo
Sorry for responding so late (needed to unplug) and thanks for your response. Unfortunately, the office is just the two of us, and headphones don’t work (as in she’ll tap my shoulder until I take them off…)

Arctic Ape
Arctic Ape
8 years ago

Finally caught up with this thread. My heart goes to people affected by this, meaning apparently mainly underprivileged Americans.

Politicians here in Europe seem to mostly dismiss the possibility of NATO breakdown. Guess there’s plenty of NATO supporters in US congress? Anyway, such breakdown would be much less likely to affect Finland than the Baltic countries.

Also, I feel it’s pathetic if European countries can’t invest or cooperate enough to defend each other. We’re collectively much bigger economy than Russia, for fuck’s sake.

Arctic Ape
Arctic Ape
8 years ago

I’d love to see if Trump got a congratulatory note from Estonia’s Kersti Kaljulaid, a first-woman-president who took office a month or so ago.

Weird (when the fog had cleared my vision was bleared) Eddie
Weird (when the fog had cleared my vision was bleared) Eddie
8 years ago

plenty of NATO supporters in US congress

Plenty of military $upporters and civilian contractor $upporters, anyway…. After WW2, NATO became a main$$$tay of U.S. military budgeting, and I’m sure it $till i$….

I imagine if Emperor Cheeto wanted to pull out of NATO, he’d get a lot of blowback from those who make money off it.

sparkalipoo
sparkalipoo
8 years ago

@Axecalibur

as a young person, Trump’s win gives me economic anxiety. My employer offers insurance but the payroll deduction is more than I currently can afford so if Obamacare is reversed and I can no longer be on my mother’s insurance I’m going to finincially screwed

re TPP
I was listening to a really well done piece on trade agreements talking about why they are so unpopular now and if they are so bad why did anyone vote for it in the first place?

and the truth is that while trade agreements like the TPP do cost people jobs, they also save the average consumer like $100 a year in cheaper products so while trade agreements are bad for some people they aren’t necessarily bad for the average person (this isn’t to say that there aren’t really good arguments against trade agreements, just that the trolls argument is bad)

also, automation has probably did more to eliminate manufacturing jobs than trade agreements

Snowberry
Snowberry
8 years ago

@Dalillama

If they *don’t*, they’ll lose the vote of the small-town white folks with no meaningful job prospects and no real future.

Can we please stop pretending that ‘economic anxiety’ has anything to do with Trump’s win?

Again, I’m neutral on this at present, but not actually the point. The point of that argument is that they’re fucked. They see the “inferiors” scoring big wins, but “good” folks like them just stay fucked. So if you don’t appease them by giving them their “privileges” back and fucking over the other people even worse, then you won’t get their vote. Liberals can’t win without their vote. But they can’t win without all the votes of the other people that they’d have to fuck over either. The only way out of that (if it were true) would seem to be to unfuck everyone, which would be rather difficult when one controls zero branches of government. That or weather the storm until millenials start getting out to vote in force, which would be… 2025, roughly?… let’s say 2024 then.

Fishy Goat
Fishy Goat
8 years ago

@sparkalipoo We end up paying in other ways. Canada has been sued by corporations re:Free Trade violations because of legislation or government decisions that were in conflict with business interests:

5 times Canada got sued under NAFTA for trying to protect its environment

NAFTA’s Chapter 11 Makes Canada Most-Sued Country Under Free Trade Tribunals

So of course the federal government spends money that could be better spent on other things, like infrastructure, education, social programs, etc.

Moocow
Moocow
8 years ago

(been posting a few times but it keeps not showing up, sorry if this is a duplicate)

I spent most of yesterday in shock. Thank god for video games and soon-to-be-legalized-in-my-state recreational drugs.

@Scildfreja Unnýðnes

I <3 Samantha Bee. I love her sarcasm and witticisms, very much my kind of humor. Very much the kind of humor that is needed right now.

It's utterly disgusting to hear that already we're seeing a rise in misogynistic/racist hate crimes.

IJustWantedToBeAWeeb
IJustWantedToBeAWeeb
8 years ago

Feeling pretty terrified right now, had DACA and was almost done uni with a CS degree -.-.

JS
JS
8 years ago

I will admit to being wrong about “not the whole FBI”.

FBI director is pretty much safe with Trump heading for the White House, anyway. Can just see the headlines now… “FBI Internal Affairs declares that it was a mistake for the director to release the information before the investigation completed, but no reason found for prosecution.” If anyone thinks high-level IA investigations of FBI directors who have it in for Clinton are anything like the ones seen on TV shows… Not with the FBI we have now.

Weird (when the fog had cleared my vision was bleared) Eddie
Weird (when the fog had cleared my vision was bleared) Eddie
8 years ago

unfuck everyone

… commie…. (sarcasm)

For the minority of Trumplings who support him because of their “economic *cough* anxiety” and for the larger minority who CLAIM that’s their reasoning… Tough Rocks, Bubba. The Cheeto has no concern for you, only for your vote (and for your “Yuuuge” adoration). If you benefit in any way, it’s collateral.

They will benefit, though it’s going to be at the expense of vulnerable communities, and the benefits will be increases in privilege, and likely not much economically. This is much the same pattern we saw with Reagan, where the people at the top level of income see huge increases in their wealth, at the expense of everybody else, and the burden of deprivation will be inversely proportional to current income. At every level of income, white people will see a smaller increase in deprivation due to privilege, e.g. a higher percentage of the jobs that do exist will go to whites, homelessness, incarceration, etc. will affect whites less, and so on. Raygun Ron called this “Trickle-Down Destitution”. No, wait, that’s not what he called it, that’s what it IS. Let me correct my earlier statement, this is not collateral this is intentional.

We get a further increase in deprivation for the most oppressed communities with Cheeto-economics due to his normalization of bigotry. The anticipated nazification of the former Supreme Court will worsen this by stripping what legal protection these people do have now.

sparkalipoo
sparkalipoo
8 years ago

@Fishy Goat

I never knew that about Canada, thanks for the info. I’m ready to admit that there are good reasons to be opposed to trade agreemens, but I also think it’s important to remember that they have pros and cons for everyone and it’s ok for people to weigh those pros and cons differently

kupo
kupo
8 years ago

@The Student
No worries. I’ve got no good advice, then. I’m terrible at handling these kinds of things.

Weird (when the fog had cleared my vision was bleared) Eddie
Weird (when the fog had cleared my vision was bleared) Eddie
8 years ago

as a young person, Trump’s win gives me economic anxiety

This rankles me, not from your point of view, but from my own, because I can get scared and think this out loud. My workplace has been desperately slow for months because our client base has been watching the election, planning to spend money if (as anticipated) Clinton won, with the unspoken alternative that if the Cheeto won they’d have to hang onto their cash. We were on the ragged edge of insolvency BEFORE Black Tuesday, and guess what!?!?!?! Now I’m worried I might lose my job and my (really good) health insurance. My income drops to less than half, and that only for the unemployment benefit period. My meager retirement (I’m 61) is at risk… etc., etc., you get the idea.

Thing is, I have a job. I have health insurance. I HAVE some bloody savings. I’m white, educated (maybe not smart, but degreed!), I suffer minor lack of privilege for my age, but I have prospects.

Not being facetious, because it breaks my heart, but in the words of the troubador, I HAVE FRIENDS WHO DONT.

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
8 years ago

I really, really cannot tolerate the fake liberals who want to play 5 dimensional chess at the cost of millions of lives. These pieces of shit just want to feel good about themselves and when it comes down to it their vindication is worth more than literal lives. I guess spiting Clinton is worth letting the nazis win, your fuhrer thanks you for your contributions. What’s even worse is the media is absolutely clueless and is still right now in their rich bubble and can’t get why pushing Tim Kaine, the same establishment GOP is somehow going to save them. They’re better off backing Elizabeth Warren and do nothing but praise her and call out on lies and racism.
comment image

I keep reading this graph in chances that it’ll give me hope. 2000 tells me otherwise.

eli
eli
8 years ago

I’m still feeling so broken.

I know the vast majority of people I know voted for this. I feel so isolated.

I hate so much that most people didn’t vote and that everything was so close, but yet again, the fools keep trotting out that word “mandate.”

sunnysombrera
8 years ago

Fine. Fuck them then. They haven’t got a majority, they have gerrymandering and voter suppression. If the non-voters can be got to vote, by whatever means, if state level efforts can get some redistricting, then they’d start losing anyway. People who support fascism are not my allies, and I won’t pretend they are. I will never, ever trust anyone who cast a Trump vote. In anything.

I never ever said try to relate to them as allies. In fact I believe they need to be resisted against at every single opportunity, because what got us to this place was – moreso than “economic anxiety” – us liberals being too soft on them all along. What I meant, and failed to express, was that while fighting them we should refrain from expressing rage. It is not strategic, since it will only fuel their victimhood mentality and probably damage our image to the non-voters/on-the-fence types.

But your comment made me realise that the fault of MY comment was that I drew a false parallel between Brexiteers and Trump supporters. The reasons behind the Brexit vote were numerous, but it DID include people that felt marginalised and simply wanted change. That was probably at the heart of my words. Also, the Leave campaign was a decades old web of lies, ramped up between January and June in order to snare as many voters as possible (a good number of said voters have now regretted their vote). They lied about the EU and lied about what leaving would do for the country. Their ugly ugly side was (somewhat) more covert.

Trump however was fucking obvious. It was clear as day that voting for him meant voting for his disgusting values. He offered little to nothing in policies apart from far-right wet dreams, the evidence against him was huge, yet people ignored all that and STILL sided with him. Because of that, I agree with you that tolerance for them needs to be dropped and they need to be fought against at every stage. I still maintain my view that the frothing rage we’re experiencing must be kept controlled when dealing with them, purely for strategic reasons. Not for the sake of feels and being nice. Fight and restrict them whenever possible, and be VERY firm or even brutal, but be cold and calculating on the whole.

After all, you’re right. They haven’t got a majority.

sunnysombrera
8 years ago

I hate so much that most people didn’t vote and that everything was so close, but yet again, the fools keep trotting out that word “mandate.”

I swear to God, when we get through this we should ban that word from common usage. It’s being abused so so much.

Weird (when the fog had cleared my vision was bleared) Eddie
Weird (when the fog had cleared my vision was bleared) Eddie
8 years ago

@ Oogly

Elizabeth Warren in ’20. I’d love to see that. By then, the nation could well be in some serious shit, maybe even bad enough to get through the thick fog of denial the white working and middle classes exhibit. All right, maybe that’s optimistic, I’m not sure they’d notice if the FUCKING UNIVERSE WAS ON FIRE. In any case, position her as an alternative to the policies, bigotry and intransigence of Cheeto policy.

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