When I finally went to bed late last night, there was a small part of me that hoped I would wake up this morning to find that Donald Trump’s improbable victory had been nothing more than a very bad dream.
Barring that, which I knew was a bit of a long shot, I hoped that I would at least wake up with the inklings of a plan for what to do about this catastrophe. I hoped I could write a rousing blog post sketching out my thoughts on the road ahead– for this blog and for the anti-Trump movement as a whole.
Alas, that didn’t happen either. I’m still processing the bad news, emotionally and intellectually. And I know a lot of you are doing the same.
And that’s ok. Trump will not take office until the end of January. There will be plenty of time to come up with ways to fight back against the orange one.
Right now the important thing is to take care of ourselves and those around us. Give yourself however much time you need. Avoid stress. Don’t beat yourself up for what happened, and don’t take out your anger on others on our side. Turn off the news if need be. Do whatever you need to do to clear your head and keep yourself safe.
In the comments here, feel free to continue the discussion that started in the “VOTE” post yesterday. And please share any self-help and self-care strategies you have — even if all you’ve got at the moment is pictures of cats and videos of hedgehogs.
If trolls show up, or if there is anything else that pops up in the thread that I should know about, please send me an email about it.
We can fight this thing. We can beat this thing. But first we need to get ourselves centered.
Having read comments here, and various articles regarding the election result, and generally watched events unfold over the last 48 hours, I am seeing some very similar parallels to how Remain voters felt and how Britain behaved after the EU referendum. Since we are five months ahead of the USA on our own path of chaos, please allow me to give some advice based on what I’ve learned so far.
1) Let yourself grieve. Grieve for the country you love and the future you had planned for yourself. It’s a big thing to lose. Let the tears flow, but do not give up hope. As Samwise Gamjee said: the shadow is only passing. Yes this will have long reaching ramifications. But you have the resilience and resourcefulness to get through this difficult phase.
2) Turn anger into action. Naturally you feel that Trump supporters are stupid and hateful. You’re going to want to express your rage at them. The protests that are happening do just that, in fact.
But remember that people voted for him because they wanted change. Many (though not all, for sure) were disadvantaged, with legitimate issues. They were utterly, utterly deceived in what to do about their problems for sure, but here’s the thing: getting angry at them for long will only harden them. Direct your anger at the politicians that tricked them instead. I can’t give you much advice on what to do since I don’t know the American political system, but one thing I’ve been telling Remainers here to do is to write to their representative repeatedly and emphatically. To attend meetings and protests. To sign petitions where they exist. To sum this long rambling paragraph up: try not to lash out at Trump voters or slander them all as a group. Instead, use that anger to try and protest Trump’s policies whenever possible. Remember: he didn’t actually want to be President in the first place! P.S: don’t lash out at non voters either. That won’t help. Strategy is key if you are to survive the next four years.
3) Unite. Form groups and back a leader. Be a strong voice for liberalism and continue to stand up to Trump while endorsing a positive vision for the future that also seeks to fix the problems behind the votes for Trump. Otherwise the voters won’t change. They WILL be disappointed, they WILL be let down, and as they realise it, step up and provide the alternative solution – without condemnation.
I’m aware this will garner a “that’s easier said than done” response. Yeah, it is, at first. But as the months go by and the dust settles, trust me, these are things you need to do as a group.
TW: slightly melodramatic and emotional
Yesterday I read here that people on the Russian border (the Baltic states, Finland) worry about what might happen if Trump and Putin become best pals.
This morning, similar questions were asked on TV. The answer? Well, it’s going to have to be Europe who defends the progressive values now. Really? How is that supposed to work? And more importantly who is supposed to do it? To lead it? It’s not as if most countries in Europe, especially in Eastern Europe, have enough to do with keeping there own people fed and their economies working, even if they don’t have rather right-wing governments themselves. Bit unfair to ask them, isn’t it?
Who else? We’re “delegating” enough shit to Italy as it is, seeing how we leave them alone with the refugees in the Mediterranean. Spain? Aren’t they still recovering from an economic crisis and also have their own shit to deal with?
Us? Forget it, even if we manage to keep our own right-wing in check and Merkel keeps a hold of her newly discovered backbone and principles, I really don’t share the medias overblown interpretation of German influence internationally.
France… They are great allies and someone people might listen to, but what if Le Pen wins the elections next year? After Brexit and Trump I might better prepare myself for another catastrophe just in case.
Any other influential, economically relatively strong country in Europe with a strong history of liberal values and actually standing up for them? There is… and they just told the rest of us to fuck off last June.
Seriously, my mind this morning went through all of this and ended: “Wait what about Britain? Oh, right.”
If those dire predictions of the media even have a little bit of truth to them, we’ll be caught between to very worrying bullies when it comes to international politics, who might also decide to become really good friends with one another. So I find myself asking something I hadn’t thought I’d ever have to ask in my lifetime: Who will guarantee our safety and our freedom? Not ours in Germany specifically, but what about the countries on the Russian border? Who has even close to enough influence to maybe give Putin pause if it isn’t the US?
If it had to be Europe because no one else was left, we’d have to work together. But in the current climate and after years of equating Europe with “overblown administration in Brussels”, could we even do that?
I’m not talking about war or something dramatic like that, just…some balancing weight that stops Russia from pursuing potential expansionist ideas if the US is no longer an option. I don’t think Putin is irrational, but I do think he’s without too many scruples, so who knows what he gets up to if he thinks he might get away with it?
This talk about Trump and Putin being on the same “side” so to speak…I wasn’t aware of how much I always relied on America always being there to defend liberal values and rights. I keep thinking: But you always stood with us since WWII against dictators and fascists and human rights violations. Not always in practice, of course, but there was always the possibility for those guys that America might get involved and that stopped them from doing too much. But was that really the case? I mean, during the World Wars and the Cold War, America was always there. But was it all of America? Or was it only that we were fortunate so far in that the people in charge where the ones who also cared about others and shared our values and now the other side of America comes to power?
It’s not your fault. You didn’t vote for him.
I just hope we can get our shit together here, prevent more right-wing, isolationist governments coming to power and maybe the British still think they’re somehow a little bit European and want to help keep the freedom and stability we’ve achieved here. And that we can work together. If we regress into isolationism, everyone for themselves, only the biggest, strongest countries can get out of this alright. America, Russia, maybe some others. And the small ones are fucked. Can we please not forget that we stand together. Can the last 70 years have been more than a short intermezzo? Please?
Sorry for rambling.
@ littlelurker
Don’t forget that NATO has nothing to do with the EU (quite the opposite in fact, remember all that fuss over the proposed EDF?) so is unaffected by Brexit (assuming that ever happens anyway).
Of course the big problem for NATO is that Trump has expressly stated his belief that Art 5 shouldn’t apply to the Baltic States. He’s also made it clear that the entire concept of NATO doesn’t fit his isolationist agenda and that he thinks most of the other members are freeloaders.
On election night the previous head of NATO said that the mere fact Trump was in the running was sending all sorts of messages to Putin, so now he’s actually president elect gawd knows what thoughts are brewing in the Kremlin.
I suppose we’ll have to see what the outcome of the Trump/Putin meeting is. But NATO have already bumped up 300,000 troops to ‘high alert’ status so it’s not exactly reassuring. I’m dusting off my copy of ‘Red Dawn’ for tips.
I finally designed a set of blog commenting rules. Naturally I’ll take suggestions and criticisms.
http://freethoughtblogs.com/primatechess/2016/11/09/blog-rules/
I’m more anxious about the proper regulation of the conflict to come. These are designed with several kinds of problems in mind with respect to comments on the internet. There arestill a few places where “something important” needs to be done before I post serious lessons in conflict. I still think I need to do a post where people can share their stories and experiences related to what they dislike about social conflict as a resource.
WWTH
A quick review of a few videos from the anti-nuclear, anti-war, pro-civil rights, pro-women’s rights eras of the 50s60s70s ought to set them straight. I’m beginning to suspect that next year’s turnout for International Women’s Day might be just a tad bigger than the last few years.
I just spilled energy drink all over myself. #ThanksDonald
According to NY Times exit polls, Jews were the religious group least likely to vote for Trump – even less likely than the nones.
My family is so secular I’ve never been to a synagogue in my life but now I think maybe I should start going …
I’m having a bit of a hard time relating to all this, since I’ve always been bad at understanding that faraway things really happen. Up until this morning I was mostly just a bit sad about the outcome of the election.
Then I found out that some anti-immigration, anti-muslim, anti-feminist (anti-younameit, really) Finns are super stoked that Trump won. Because now their lives will be better somehow? I’m just baffled.
I mean, why should they be glad that Trump has said he’ll close the borders? The way I see it, if the US takes less immigrants, it could very well mean that Europe has to take more.
(I haven’t had the time to read through all of the comments, so I apologise if this has already been handled. I’m just so baffled that I had to write something.)
My city is quiet — in a sad way. #ThanksDonald
I worry about the fate of planet Earth, my one and only home. #ThanksDonald
Neo-Nazis are feeling emboldened. #ThanksDonald
@Headologist. Thanks for the Buffy. Very appropriate, what with gaping hellmouths and all. I may binge watch Buffy this week.
@numbersequence None of us are free from the isms that surround us. I find misogynist, racist, homophobic and ablist assumptions in my thinking all the time, and I’m a bi woman with two intermittent disabilities. The important thing is the direction you’ve chosen and that you are still going that way.
And I want to thank you for articulating something I’ve suspected for awhile, that in a certain mindset, evildoers are actually owed forgiveness by their victims. I’ve been told over and over by spiritual authorities (a troubling concept if not an actual oxymoron) that no true healing is possible for the victim unless she forgives. Doesn’t matter if the thing is unforgivable, that God Himself would not forgive it. Huh? Why? It’s always been presented to me as being necessary for the victim: the sweet healing balm of forgiveness blah blah, but you, dear Numbersequence, disclosed what it’s really for – it’s for the evildoer, it’s what the evildoer is owed. Wow, now that is privilege. No wonder it isn’t usually articulated.
Stay safe, mammotheers. Hugs to David.
@Ooglyboggles,
This a million times. Republicans organized the Tea Party movement as soon as President Obama won in 2008. Republican politicians met on President Obama’s inauguration in 2008 to discuss not cooperating with him on anything.
Now look at how much control Republicans have in this country. They can pretty much do anything they want. Democrats need to fight back with the filibuster and whatever other mechanism is within their power. Plus, they have to organize on the grassroot to maximize the power of their supporters so we can at least take back the Senate in 2018.
Democrats cannot cooperate with or give assent to any of Trump’s policies. He is a dangerous racist, sexist, Islamophobic xenophobe. His supporters are alt-right and White Supremacists.
Trump is not my President and I will do whatever I can to resist his efforts to turn this country into a fascist nightmare.
@IP: You mentioned some health problems in the other thread. I’m a geriatrician, and my wife is a rheumatologist, so it’s possible that between us we can think of something you haven’t already tried. Not that healthcare in Sweden is any worse than in the US, but more heads are better than one, and all that. It’s also quite possible that we won’t have any ideas that you haven’t already come up with yourself (you’re the one living with this, of course). And my standard caveats about internet diagnosis apply.
I’ll send David an email with my email address to forward on to you, if you want it. We would need to know what symptoms you’re having and what interventions you’ve tried. If you’d rather not trust such info (or your health) to strangers on the internet, I totally understand.
Also, if I’m out of line here, feel free to tell me to fuck off.
In fact, in my email to David, I’ll ask him to remove this post if you ask him to.
@Everyone else: I don’t think I can properly engage right now, I’m still a bit in shock. You are all wonderful people, none of you deserve this, and I hope you all stay safe.
yeah, not that we don’t already know, but my biggest fear is the first two years of the Age of the Cheeto. The ‘publicans have both houses, the white house, and (soon) the supreme court. Frankly, Hitler could have dreamed of that kind of institutional control in 1933.
(edit; dropped the capital letters from supreme court… soon it won’t deserve to be a respected title….)
@little lurker
Putin needs no incompetent president of the US to make his expansion. He doesn’t ask for permission. He made his war already by annexing Krimea and invading Ukraine. What he wants he takes and to believe that the US was stopping him until now is naive. You think he cares about sanctions? He doesn’t give a shit, he’ll let people suffer and go where he wants to and keep his 80% approval because he knows those who don’t approve will just keep silent or run.
@joekster
My email is my screen name without the space, at gmail. I don’t check it very often but I’ll probably do something about that soon. I’ll figure out how to redirect emails to my normal gmail.
I’ve made some phone calls today, so things are in motion already. I’m going in for bloodwork tomorrow morning, and then I’m seeing my doctor on Tuesday. I’ve also been in contact with Social Insurance and I’m putting together an application right now. My doctor + nurses have hinted that there are other IV treatments which I will now try out, and hopefully one of them will work and I won’t be allergic to it.
If you know anything about heel pains, that’s my biggest problem right now. :p
All help is welcome, really. Except quackery “help”. I’m heading into desperation territory here, slowly accepting the reality that I might never be able to work a full time job. Coupled with partially related mental health issues, this is making me feel very pessimistic about the future right now.
I can’t promise I’ll check my email before my appointment next week, but I’ll do my best to get to it as soon as possible. I’m experiencing a bad mental block when it comes to checking emails at the moment. Your concern is appreciated, though.
I am absolutely done pretending as if I can coexist with conservatives. There is no conservatism except for fascism. All conservatives are enemies of civilization and should be treated as such. There is no compromise to be had with these people. Any mention of “bipartisan” or “reaching across the aisle” or “common ground” is delusional and/or dishonest bullshit. We tried it and it didn’t work. Things got worse. No more fucking tolerance for these monsters.
Hugs and loves to you all. This is freaking ghastly.
To add to my earlier comments…
I know I don’t comment much here, but I read every thread. I think it may be time to start commenting more. I have multiple privileges that some others here do not – I am white, straight, cis, able-bodied, and my depression is manageable without medication. I am actually surprised by how quickly I am regaining my equilibrium and developing a resolve to ACT. I must hold on to this feeling and not let my natural introversion keep me from working with other liberals to put the brakes to a toxic administration.
Call me Karalora. It’s the name I use all over the net, so if you see it elsewhere, it’s almost assuredly the same person. I’m 39 years old but count myself among the Millennials. I live in the Los Angeles area, in a one-bedroom apartment with The Best Cat In The World.
Let’s be friends.
@IP: I just sent you an email. Hope it helps.
Re compromise with conservatives: Compromise only works if both sides are willing to give ground. Neville Chamberlain showed us what happens when one side is willing to negotiate while the other is acting in bad faith, and that’s exactly what the GoP has done in the US since Bill Clinton was president (and possibly longer)-negotiated in bad faith.
I voted knowing my vote wouldn’t matter since I live in a red state. I’m depressed and frightened that he actually won. It feels much worse even than when W. Bush won – because the hate wasn’t even veiled.
One last post before I go to work:
If anyone living in Chicago is looking for a progressive, welcoming Christian church, you could do much worse than the church I belonged to while I was living there. It’s small (I never saw more than 30 people in the sanctuary at the same time), but extremely progressive (their studies were the first time I heard the terms ‘intersectionality’ and ‘ableism’, for example), and very welcoming.
I sent David an email with their information, and I’ll trust him to filter out any trolls (they’re good people, and don’t need me pulling down troll-hate on them).
Good luck.
Now is the time to pull together.
The 48% are trying. Oh how we are trying. And there is a hope for us if the Supreme Court upholds the High Court ruling that Parliament must have a say on Brexit, not just May and her cronies.
If that succeeds, our next step is to try and motivate our MPs to do what’s right. It just such a shame that Corbyn refuses to.
@Imaginary Petal
Don’t give up on the health stuff, honeybunch (if I may).
I hope none of the below comes across as condescending. This is hard-won knowledge for me. I’m sure you already know some of it.
There are more ways of coming at these things than are dreamt of by the prevailing north american medical mindset. I had intractable post-herpetic neuralgia – i.e. shingles that continued symptomatic after the infection was gone. For two years, my forehead and eye were burning, pounding and unbearably itchy. Nobody could see it, and the doctors had nothing for me; many were inclined to see me as an annoying complainer. Pessimistic plus plus plus. I had to make some big changes to access other healthcare options, but after a year of acupuncture the symptoms are almost gone. I’m not pushing acupuncture (except for shingles); I’m saying that other medical paradigms have useful solutions. I’m inclined to view “quackery” as the noise in a signal-to-noise ratio. Some modalities have more of it than others. Pharma-driven doctors work with as much quackery as anybody, but it’s officially sanctioned quackery.
When the pain is bad, and the days look dark, it’s easy to slip into catastrophic thinking. I try to deal with catastrophic thinking as a symptom, an emotional reaction, not an accurate assessment of what the hell is going on.
You will get better physically – and to the extent things are permanent or long-lasting, you will find ways to adapt, and that is not as pathetic a consolation as it sounds. One of the nasty consequences of ableism is that adaptations, no matter how much benefit they may confer, are still dismissed, devalued, or objected to as unnatural (I’m thinking of those funky spring things that amputated runners use – woohoo! and yet lots of people are squicked out by them).
(The medical establishment is full of ableists, btw; don’t let them bring you down. Some of them are really supernice, too, they gaze at you with such loving pity that you know you are well and truly fucked. Well, they are wrong. They sigh, they actually sigh, when you tell them you have post-herpetic neuralgia. Oh, poor me, the sigh says, I have to deal with another one of you.)
I did find strength somewhere to exist with the shingles pain, and now I hardly have any pain – and I still have the strength.
You will too, Petal.
And, oh gosh, this is harsh, but you can co-exist with conservatives; you must. We all must. They are here, and non-existence is not an option (and you know what to do if it becomes an option – you’ll call out, right?) The massive issue is HOW, how to deal with them. The ongoing struggle. How to be good, how to do good, and not let them get to us, not give away the farm in trying to compromise for the common good.
All I know about that is that we can’t do it alone; we can only do it together.
Maybe a Trump administration will have some good come out of it. I read several articles saying that women are urging one another to get IUDs before Trump takes office (excellent idea btw). In America we’ve had the luxury of being able to ignore politics. Many women my age think that feminism is outdated, that the war was already won. Maybe this will force us to get together and actively try and change our government. I understand the sentiment behind protesting Trump being president, but it’s not right and it’s not fair. We should be protesting the electoral college. There is a national popular vote amendment circling through the states, you can call your representatives and give your support. If Donald Trump provides the incentive to finally get rid of the electoral college, then maybe some good can come out of it. Sorry for the ramble.
Oh and I spent yesterday on Facebook (not a great choice) and watching the 2005 Pride and Prejudice movie, which was an EXCELLENT idea.
@ Sunnysombrera,
I wrote to my MP ages ago asking her to vote against Brexit should it come to a parliament vote, and outlining all the reasons it would be legitimate for her to do so, she responded in person saying she would. I hope she makes good on that.
I’m disappointed in Corbyn too, as a general rule I like him. However he’ll probably allow his MPs a free vote if it comes to one.
Given that Brexit will push us further into being Trump’s lapdog, there’s an even stronger reason to fight leaving Europe. Did you hear that Trump hasn’t even bothered to phone Theresa May yet? He’s found time to talk with loads of other leaders (all male).