I admit I probably write about pickup-artist-turned-alt-right-opinion-haver Heartiste a bit more often than he merits. But his combination of furious bigotry and purple prose is irresistible.
Consider his brilliant new plan to defeat Hillary Clinton by impugning the masculinity of her male supporters.
“All politics is gonadal,” he declares in a post on his blog today.
Given this reality, the most effective political persuasion techniques are those that evoke the ancient rhythms of the sexual market.
Rhythms?
Heartiste ‘s favorite “persuasion technique?” Calling people names in order to make them feel bad about themselves. In this particular case, he hopes to make Hillary’s male supporters so ashamed of their alleged betahood that they can’t bring themselves to actually vote.
[I]f sufficiently shamed and ostracized by effective [counterpropaganda] that leverages the power of anxiety over one’s sexual market status, many nominal males who plan to vote for Inmate Hillary can be dissuaded from exercising their right to notarize the featherweight class of their shrunken scrotes.
Yeah, I don’t know why he writes like that.
Much as virulent homophobia can force gays into the closet, Heartiste suggests, shaming male Hillary supporters as “manginas” will keep them from going to the polls.
Just as a healthy and strong society with rock-ribbed shitlord norms can keep gays far enough in the closet that their petri dish flamboyance doesn’t creep out the kids, so can a fearless embrace of immutable and omnipotent sexual market law — and the exploitation thereof — cow mincing betaboys from pulling the lever for thec*nt.
In case you’re having a little trouble parsing the end of that sentence — I had to reread it several times myself — he’s using “cow” as a verb. “Cow-mincing” isn’t a real thing, though perhaps it should be.
Also, thec*nt (with its “u” uncensored) is Heartiste’s favorite nickname for Hillary, though you probably figured that out already.
You may be wondering how exactly Heartiste’s brilliant new strategy differs from the traditional alt-right strategy of calling everyone “cucks.”
For one thing, it uses a greater number of words, castigating Hillary’s male fans as “nominal males,” “mincing betaboys,” and “f*ggy Millennial manlets with incipient bitch tits.” Obviously this is TOTALLY DIFFERENT than just calling them “cucks.”
Heartiste also suggests that his fans make use of a helpful visual aid in their efforts to shame the aforementioned “mincing betaboys” into non-voting. Namely. this little meme here.
The picture at the top of the meme is, as you’ve probably gathered, a still from Mad Max: Fury Road.
I’m guessing Heartiste has not seen the film.
This will probably be marginally more effective than JuiceBro’s strategy of claiming the Podesta emails have coded messages, probably about a child sex trafficking ring.
https://twitter.com/Cernovich/status/794288882430840833
What does petri dish flamboyance even mean?
I’m pretty certain that’s how they make burgers.
I wonder if the creator of that meme involving ‘Fury Road’ is aware of ‘Immortan Don’ on Tumblr, where Trump’s quotes are matched to .gifs of that film’s villain being villainous?
Apologies if that page has been mentioned on WHTM before.
I’m always morbidly amused that the person who refers to themself as “Heartiste” is in fact completely and utterly heartless.
A little point of contention, the war boys in mad max are shown to be sexless slaves to the master immortal Joe. The only one on that side getting any was Immortal Joe. The rest were just violent slaves.
And while, it might not be everyone’s kink, the guy in the bottom picture is probably getting what he wants.
I don’t know, maybe that being sufficiently gay is contagious?
Also, “rock-ribbed shitlord norms” – rock-ribbed or not, I thought the shitlords’ shtick was that they supposedly flaunted society’s norms.
Yep, a little bit, and too skinny for the last one. Anything else?
I haven’t seen Fury Road either, but aren’t those the bad guys? Because, you know, a meme saying ‘Trump voters are coming to tear down the last vestige of civilization to rule as savage warlords over the wasteland’, while not inaccurate, is something I’d expect their opponents to say.
@Dalillama
This is the same group of people that voluntarily identify themselves as deplorable.
This guy is bizarre. “Pizza-related is code for something and I totally know this because I’m totally a real lawyer who represented badass drug dealers! I’m really a real lawyer, guys, really!”
>Uses enemies of Fury Road
>The same people who die in a ton of explosions, car crashes and rubble
>As their avi of intimidation
If I can memetext a better counterargument faster than it takes to make that poorly thought out pic, there’s something terribly amiss.
Why do misogynists assume all men are as insecure in their masculinity as they are?!
As David notes in the first paragraph, Heartiste’s prose is indeed unique. The man has a strange way of using the most pretentious phrasing and terms, but then spoiling the intended effect by peppering his sentences with crude words like “shitlord” and “faggy”. I suspect he is the first person in the history of the English language to use the words “incipient bitch tits” in succession.
This a long winded, nastier version of just saying “Clinton supporters are a bunch of weenies!”. Kids stuff. Except even some kids are bold enough to resist obvious peer pressure. Better than some adults at least
I’ve found it hard to laugh at bigots lately, but this one is rather funny, just because of his pretentious prose commingled with words like “shitlord” and “SJW” and constructions like “incipient bitch tits”. It’s like reading The Eye of Argon, but with 30%* more misogyny and 120%* more gender-policing!
*N.B.: I produced these figures from my hindquarters.
Furiosa’s head and Hillary’s face on that cover are at different angles and it’s doing my head in.
@Sarah
Great. Now I want to order some pizza.
Also, most relevant @Handsome Jack: did you know that Doritos were actually invented at Disneyland by a Frito-Lay-backed restaurant that had too many tortillas?
*image of Bill Cipher slowly superimposed onto a Dorito whilst the X-Files theme plays*
The connection was always via Disney.
@Holytape
Yeah I’m willing to bet that guy is living his dream.
He ain’t wrong, though.
I mean, freedom loses when intimidation and voter suppression keep people away, and that’s what he’s sayin’ here. It’s contiguous with the Trump supporters watching polling stations with AR15’s, and the voter suppression laws rolling out in who knows how many states. It’s the tactic of choice for fascists, con-men and bullies everywhere.
‘s’a fuckin’ shame he lives in the United States of America, though.
Kick their asses, guys.
Ah yes, the anapest’s little-known rhythmic counterpart: the sexpest.
Hey, what am I — chopped (cow) liver?!!!
I for one am happy to vote for Imperator Hillarosa.
Translation: A vote for Drumpf is a vote for date rape.
I don’t suppose anyone appreciates being grabbed by the ‘nads at the polling booth, do they?
Not from what I’ve seen, no. Many of them have already done so at early voting, moreover. And WHAT “effective [counterpropaganda]”? Calling people “cucks” and “manginas” has zero effect on voter intent, other than to make them all the more determined to defeat you and your shrimp-fingered idol. Gay-gay-gaiety-gay-GAYNESS and all.
Norm from Cheers, a shitlord? Nuh-unh!
Ahem. Nice of him to equate all Republicans with shitlords. Especially since so many are so horrified by Drumpf now that even they won’t vote for him.
Uh, WHOSE kids? Because some of us (e.g. me) have LGBT friends, and those friends have kids. And if anything, those kids would be creeped out by the likes of this walking fungus culture. And his flamboyantly awful scribblings, too.
Chucklesnorf. IT DOES NOT EXIST, YOU MORON. YOU ARE LITERALLY EMBRACING EMPTY AIR.
(Which would no doubt explain why all the purple prose. He’s got no people to embrace, and certainly no willing female partners, just phantoms and spectres. And Halloween is over. Diddums…)
These guys should realise that humans aren’t computers, they will disregard what is said if they don’t trust or value the speaker. This applies to pick up artistry and their political views.
Gah. I meant “flouted society’s norms” not “flaunted society’s norms” in my first comment. I meant that the “shitlords” who “shitpost” (to the shitty, everything is shit?) think that they’re being all edgy and stuff.
OT: I’ll use tiredness as my excuse. I had only four hours’ sleep and I’m getting ready for this big craft show Friday-Sunday. I will be so glad on Tuesday when both the show and the American election are over. And ended well. Fingers crossed.
@Hashtag_Ravenclaw & @Laugher at Bigots re: Heartiste’s writing style – I think I said last time that he reminded of Ezra Pound in 1) mixing slang and fancy literary phrases and 2) being a bigot and fascist. But I doubt Heartiste is about to get any big writing awards anytime soon.
@Buttercup Q. Skullpants – also LOL 🙂
please can we make this a thing
http://i.imgur.com/YpFGJ1j.gif
Not to defend a shitbag like Roosh, but “cow” is indeed a verb. He means to intimidate men from voting for Clinton. When it comes to intimidation though, Roosh isn’t going to be particularly successful no matter how insulting he gets.
Would it kill these people to write things that might make sense, instead of just throwing overly fancy words all over everything in an attempt to sound sophisticated? Not everyone is a native English speaker, I’ll have you know! Have a heart, Heartiste!
@ Axe: But surely the threat of shrunken scrotes would have you running to Trump? After all, there can be no greater insult than an insult to a man’s most manly manhood. Or something. (Admittedly, I’m not a man, so I could be wrong.)
Also: Shrunken scrotes.
http://static3.fjcdn.com/comments/Blank+_57a3edf35885b6cebeb9b2a97b351e03.jpg
Ah, I feel better now.
Oh no, a racist rapist called me a made-up bad word! Whatever shall I do?
http://m.quickmeme.com/img/a8/a8bd3fee10fe8194d98a2f8bbb5c66a3cafa23966650442178e73c9f3dacb982.jpg
(A look into MRA/PUA thought processes)
“Hmm…overly elaborate language is called ‘purple prose.’ And purple is the color of royalty!”
*writes dense, impenetrable screed, never using one word where three will do*
“NOW, EVERYONE WORSHIP ME AS THE GODLY PRINCE AMONG MEN I AM!”
Rabukurafuto, I didn’t mean to suggest “cow” can’t be used as a verb. It’s just that it took me a second to realize that was how he was using it, and that he wasn’t referring to something called “cow-mincing,” which (for me at least) conjured up images of cows walking daintily on their hind legs.
@Frigid Virgin
Your English skills are not at fault. It really makes that little sense.
I’m not sure what’s worse, Heartsie’s empty threats, or the way he insults the English language with his horrible use of words.
Also, this is how I assume most Clinton voters will be going off to vote…
http://s3.amazonaws.com/content.sitezoogle.com/u/165451/cd32fca4675cf56b97b228ea58f0db2bf37af861/original/hippies-on-a-hippie-bus.jpg?0
Where as this how Trump voters will roll…
http://www.wreckedexotics.com/blog/images/mate_911.jpg
Gonadal?
Ah, sorry for the mistake.
@Frigid
Ha! Smaller ‘scrote’ or fascist President? Tough choice /s
Besides, it’s better than Trump’s shrunken hands…
Mels-
Yeah! We must totally make Imperator Hillarosa a thing! That woman is a true warrior, a hero in American politics. She is so strong for dealing with all that sexist crap she has been given, especially recently. She is an inspiration. She will make a great president (and a great Imperator. :D)
Wait, so this guy is basically advocating negging Hillary supporters, even though by PUA evopsych BS it should only work on feeeemales because reasons.
Well, when all you have is a hammer…
@ Ray of Rays: Ah. That makes sense. Wait, purple is the colour of royalty? Since when? Last I heard, they were blue-bloods. I am clearly not up-to-date on colour theory.
@ Dalillama: Thank you so much. That honestly made me feel better.
@ Axe: … Yeah, you’re right. And thanks ever so for the mental image.
@Axe
Believe me when I say I am not trying to start a new argument about this, but I feel compelled to point out that this is why I was surprised that my egghead comment made you and others so upset.
Trump supporters on the way to vote:
http://darkroom.baltimoresun.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/REU-PORTUGAL-1-740×540.jpg
@ wwth –
Well, I doubt it’s what He-artiste meant, but:
There’s a long history of microbiologists painting agar in petri dishes with bacterial solutions and incubating them till the bacteria grow to visibility, just for seasonal funsies.
There’s even art contests.
http://www.livescience.com/52547-microbiology-agar-art-photos.html
But the most flamboyant petri dish display I’ve seen so far has been this:
My best guess is that the petri dish thing was a joke conflating “gay culture” with bacterial cultures. It doesn’t really make sense but it sounds dismissive and mildly witty and associates gays with bacteria, which most people associate with disease.
Should that be “Imperatrix”? Or did they deliberately use masculine form in the movie title?
The last time we were mocking Heartiste’s language, I thought to make some quip about the famous nonsense phrase “colorless green ideas sleep furiously”. Then it occurred to me that it actually works really well.
“Corporate symbols of the Left cuck furiously” indeed.
Update on the bunny we found a while back. Animal Protection have now put it on their website with a picture. Plot twist: Leila is a non-neutered BOY.
http://www.djurskydd.nu/upphittade-djur/smadjur/
what do you see
-big rigs
-pole cats
-flamers
-and there’s the people-eater himself
COMING TO COUNT THE COST
@ petal: gender nonconforming bun?
btw. this dude? is so wack. those like him? also wack. i’m so happy that us teens will outlive these dorks. and then, of course, deal with their protégés.
but, no big.
every generation, the screams of the dinosaurs get a little fainter.
YAY CUBS.
@sliami
This happens often with us. We found the bunny outside and just assumed it was a girl. We made a deal with Animal Protection that the bunny will continue to be known as Leila even if it should turn out it’s a boy.
When we got our first cat, the previous owners said it was a boy. We named him Desmond. Then we realized she’s a girl. She’ll always be Desmond though!