What the hell is going on in Scott Adams’ busy little brain? The Dilbert cartoonist and master persuader is now trying to persuade his readers that Hillary Clinton, not the volatile, easily angered Donald Trump, is the truly dangerous choice for president.
Because she’s been known to drink sometimes. And Trump supposedly doesn’t drink. At least not liquor. Maybe blood. People are saying he drinks blood.
But that’s a whole other basket of deplorables. Let’s get back to that alcohol thing.
Scott, you master persuader, persuade us:
Imagine you lived in a world in which no one except one senior citizen ever drank alcoholic beverages. Would you think it is a good idea to choose this one person – the only drinker in the world – to be in charge of the nuclear arsenal?
No, that would be crazy. We know alcohol impairs judgment. And a president is on-call for emergencies 24-hours a day. Alcohol plus life-and-death decisions is a dangerous combination.
Er, doesn’t that kind of depend on how much alcohol we’re talking about? A president who’s completely blotto all of the time would probably be a bad choice. But Hillary isn’t exactly a falling-down, fight-starting, vomiting-on-the-cat kind of drinker. She’s been in the political spotlight for decades. And she hasn’t been caught drunkenly singing old Saul Alinksky songs even once. (I guess Saul Alinsky probaby doesn’t have any songs but never mind.)
But Scott wants us to think that we’ve tricked ourselves into believing that drinking is even remotely ok for a president because most of us also drink. WOAH.
The only reason social drinking (or worse) is not automatically disqualifying for the Commander-in-Chief job is because … wait for it … many of us also drink alcohol.
And because many of us drink – as do most of our role models – we figure it must be okay for a President to drink.
It isn’t.
Because of nuclear codes and terror attacks and whatnot.
Weird, because pretty much every president we’ve ever had has been known to drink, and we haven’t had a nuclear war yet. True, George W. Bush famously gave up alcohol many years before becoming president. But he got us into two wars we’re still trying to extract ourselves from.
I would argue that alcohol consumption is the biggest risk differential in this election. We’re just blind to that risk because alcohol is socially acceptable. But even in your own life, you see alcohol being the force behind unwanted pregnancies, drunk driving, bar fights, domestic abuse, sexual abuse, and just about every bad decision you’ve ever made. If we humans were even a little bit objective we would never select a leader who is likely to be impaired by alcohol several hours per week, including the workday. (Allegedly.)
“Allegedly” in this instance means “some alt-right nincompoops have decided based on nothing that Hillary regularly gets drunk.”
Even if that were true, I would still vote for her. Hell, I’d vote for a fight-starting, karaoke-singing, constantly drunk Hillary over Trump. Actually, I’d vote for an actual literal bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 for president before I’d vote for Trump.
Trump may not drink, but he thinks like he’s drunk, as his free-associational speeches make abundantly clear. Especially if you slow them down a bit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMMcb1iyYl0
Hell, even at regular speed he sounds a bit inebriated.
I’m going to go pour myself a nice drink. Of water.
@ scildfreja
There’s a serous suggestion in archeological circles that it was a climate shift that encouraged a lot of viking (in the verb sense).
I love the fact that the Vikings are portrayed as so hardy yet one of Europe’s major marketing scams was calling a place covered in ice, Greenland* just to sell the idea to people to move there.
(*Land may not actually be green. Terms & conditions apply)
@hambeast, that’s really the thing about it. It’s not about whether you agree, it’s about whether you respect each others’ preferences. I’m glad you came to those terms!
@Alan, I know, right? Though really, being someone who comes from a place that experiences ridiculous cold? I understand the marketing. There’s a reason why Miami is considered Canada’s second largest city. (Though the specific city seems to change between there and Phoenix and Mexico City). When it comes time to retire, we’re all “Screw the winter, I want to live somewhere that doesn’t turn into a deep freeze for eight months of the year.”
(Like, seriously, my family keeps food in tupperware bins outside in the winter, because it’s colder than the deep freezer and it’s pretty much bottomless storage.)
I think all northerners have this unconscious realization that winter is stupid and all our excuses about how pretty and invigorating it is are nonsense.
@Scildfreja: nooooo I love the snow! I’m so sad that I don’t really get much of it, out east. I mean, you know when it’s like, minus 25 and the snow just starts sparkling like diamonds? It only seems to happen like that when it’s cold enough for your nose hairs to freeze.
… I’m not really selling this, am I?
😉 I also don’t have to drive in it, I live in a city with good enough transit that I can let THEM deal with the road conditions.
(Though this is also a wet cold, and dadgumit wet colds are the WORST. Give me a dry cold! Getting here and learning that people buy DE-humidifiers blew my mind!)
I find the drinking age of 21 to be very strange. Even 19 is weird. If you can be trusted to VOTE (and choose the future of your country), you can DRINK.
@weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo
I don’t keep ‘going on’ about it, I am being addressed about it and therefore feel obliged to answer. Nothing more.
@ Hambeast
Don’t worry, you aren’t necroing (at least according to my understanding of the concept!) Thankyou very much for your kind words.
Yes, Adams isn’t in danger from anyone, apart from perhaps himself. The more he says these kinds of unhinged things the more people will realise he’s a bit of a- silly beggar. I’ll go for that description. The more that happens, the more people are going to think “Hmmm, maybe I won’t buy this Dilbert calendar.” The only danger to Scott Adams is Scott Adams.
@ scildfreja
People often romanticise the idea of the rugged North, until they’ve spent their first winter somewhere and blown half their income on heating bills.
I lost my tolerance to the cold after my second year in London. Now I’m in Cornwall which officially has a sub tropical climate (Yey Gulf Stream!) and I’m loving it.
ETA: @ rhuu – the only way you could have made that less appealing is if you’d added “Anyway, who needs toes?” 🙂
@Rhuu, I love the snow and cold too! I get antsy if we have a winter without much snow. I think we mean different things when we talk about cold, though. Sure, wet cold feels colder, no argument there, but … well, I’ll let an ex-coworker speak for me. He was from Newfoundland, and had only been in Alberta for a year or so; it was his first real winter out here. He had always laughed at us in pretty much the same way – “Oh, you guys don’t have real cold – sure the temperature’s lower, but it’s a dry cold!”
Then it hit -52C, and cars were breaking down from temperature shock, and your eyes freeze shut from the humidity in your breath. He came in that morning, hunched down in his office, swore because his office had an outside wall which was something like -20 on the surface (we had a temperature sensor at work). We all laughed when he took it all back and said that “wet cold is cold, but this is bullshit.”
Comes a point where wet or dry cold doesn’t matter, all that matters is getting somewhere that isn’t cracking itself to pieces in the cold, turning on a heater to the top setting, and hoping the windows don’t shatter.
But yeah! I love the winter. There’s something utterly irreplaceable about the way your breath feels in your lungs when you inhale, and the glitter of hoarfrost across the trees. I live for that.
I hate the cold! It’s one of the few things I dislike about Minneapolis. I can deal as long as the snow banks aren’t too big though. We’ve has a couple of low snowfall winters the past couple months so I fear we’re due for a winter stormy season
Hate the cold. Hate it. Can’t believe I’m even farther north than usual this year. No Chinooks, no nothing, just short, frigid days of misery.
I’ve been out in the snow all day today. It felt like January.
-52C??????? No. I refuse to believe this are a temperature. This are Dread Things what humans are Not Meant To Wot Of, or ken, or go anywhere near. ::shudders::
@ Scildfreja I think this is the book you’re after:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albion%27s_Seed
A later book elaborates on these ideas:
http://www.colinwoodard.com/americannations
I’m with Viscaria. Last night was the first night of the winter that had frost. I’m not looking forward to it.
@Alan: Who does need toes? 😉
@Scildfreja: I just find wet colds colder than dry colds. It could be that I’ve just adjusted to the warmer weather over here, so when something is -15 I’m like “OH NO”, but then I go back to Alberta for Christmas and after a couple of days of shivering I’m good again.
I remember when I was working nights and it was -50C and we all had to go and sit in our cars every break to make sure they would start in the morning. Brrrr!
I’ve been told that others find a dry cold colder than a wet cold. I think it might just by what you’re used to?
All this talk of temperature reminded me of this.
IP:
The second day of snow and I’m not tired of it yet 🙂
The snow and the sky do look more beautiful when it’s far below zero but it’s nice that it only happens occasionally rather than all winter. Also, it’s nice to have Nordic style well-heated houses.
One of my favorite things to watch (while sitting in a heated bus) is when it’s fairly cold and there’s a small amount of drift snow on the road, dancing like flames in the wake of running cars. It’s mesmerizing.
Rhuu:
I don’t see how relative humidity could make a difference anyway, since the absolute humidity is always minuscule in freezing temperatures.
Could it be that when people complain about wet cold, they really mean the wind and rain typical of coastal winters?
@ artic ape
I do like doing that thing when it’s snowing at night of sticking my nose right up against the windscreen so the snow in the headlights makes it feel like you’re in a Star Trek type warp field.
Alan:
Really? You mean the warming in late 1st millemmium? I guess that would have favored population growth in Scandinavia.
Eh, I think the Norse were hardy enough for wanting to settle distant lands, green or not.
Of course, the Inuit settled the land around same time, presumably from Ellesmere Island.
OK, that wins the thread.
@ arctic ape
That’s one theory. Nicer weather. More crops. Better economy. More people = pressure to find new land and the resources to do it.
Of course being archeology there’s another theory that there was a temperature drop which caused crop failure so people sought out new climes and the additional ice allowed for on-‘land’ hunting and somewhere to park the boats on the journey.
Some interacting theories about what might have been going on. There’s even an asteroid impact in some of them.
I’m gonna go ahead and Godwin’s law this thread and point out that Hitler was reputedly a alcohol teetotaler as well. (I don’t think I saw that fun factoid anywhere upstream.)
For my birthday my mom and stepdad had a remote starter put in my truck. I’m very excited. Even though my truck is in a garage and I’ll start it and have it running while I’m shoveling the sidewalks and driveway it still takes about 10 miles of driving before I can feel the heat working. I’m hoping if I remote start it 20 minutes before I even go out to shovel then I might not completely freeze on my way into work this winter.
If the beer industry were the same as it was 15 years ago and only mass market brands were available [*shudder*] then, as a 30+ adult, I think I might be a de-facto teetotaller (no likey wine or spirits). However, since young people tend to go for quantity over quality, and usually have less disposable income, raising taxes or setting minimum prices would seem to make sense.
@ Bryce
I don’t drink so I have no firsthand knowledge, but one of my favorite Dave Barry quotes (out of lots) had to do with writing advertising and going with your strongest selling point. His example:
Wrong: Tastes like goat drool!
Right: Proud to be your Bud!
(Apologies to those who like Budweiser.)
@Alan
I hear Castle Douglas is a good place to see the Gulf Stream. It does get cold at night, though, so if you’re sleeping in your car, you should wear a jobble top.
(I hesitated to make this gag, but then you went and linked to WILTY yourself, so I think I’m on sturdy enough ice.)