What the hell is going on in Scott Adams’ busy little brain? The Dilbert cartoonist and master persuader is now trying to persuade his readers that Hillary Clinton, not the volatile, easily angered Donald Trump, is the truly dangerous choice for president.
Because she’s been known to drink sometimes. And Trump supposedly doesn’t drink. At least not liquor. Maybe blood. People are saying he drinks blood.
But that’s a whole other basket of deplorables. Let’s get back to that alcohol thing.
Scott, you master persuader, persuade us:
Imagine you lived in a world in which no one except one senior citizen ever drank alcoholic beverages. Would you think it is a good idea to choose this one person – the only drinker in the world – to be in charge of the nuclear arsenal?
No, that would be crazy. We know alcohol impairs judgment. And a president is on-call for emergencies 24-hours a day. Alcohol plus life-and-death decisions is a dangerous combination.
Er, doesn’t that kind of depend on how much alcohol we’re talking about? A president who’s completely blotto all of the time would probably be a bad choice. But Hillary isn’t exactly a falling-down, fight-starting, vomiting-on-the-cat kind of drinker. She’s been in the political spotlight for decades. And she hasn’t been caught drunkenly singing old Saul Alinksky songs even once. (I guess Saul Alinsky probaby doesn’t have any songs but never mind.)
But Scott wants us to think that we’ve tricked ourselves into believing that drinking is even remotely ok for a president because most of us also drink. WOAH.
The only reason social drinking (or worse) is not automatically disqualifying for the Commander-in-Chief job is because … wait for it … many of us also drink alcohol.
And because many of us drink – as do most of our role models – we figure it must be okay for a President to drink.
It isn’t.
Because of nuclear codes and terror attacks and whatnot.
Weird, because pretty much every president we’ve ever had has been known to drink, and we haven’t had a nuclear war yet. True, George W. Bush famously gave up alcohol many years before becoming president. But he got us into two wars we’re still trying to extract ourselves from.
I would argue that alcohol consumption is the biggest risk differential in this election. We’re just blind to that risk because alcohol is socially acceptable. But even in your own life, you see alcohol being the force behind unwanted pregnancies, drunk driving, bar fights, domestic abuse, sexual abuse, and just about every bad decision you’ve ever made. If we humans were even a little bit objective we would never select a leader who is likely to be impaired by alcohol several hours per week, including the workday. (Allegedly.)
“Allegedly” in this instance means “some alt-right nincompoops have decided based on nothing that Hillary regularly gets drunk.”
Even if that were true, I would still vote for her. Hell, I’d vote for a fight-starting, karaoke-singing, constantly drunk Hillary over Trump. Actually, I’d vote for an actual literal bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 for president before I’d vote for Trump.
Trump may not drink, but he thinks like he’s drunk, as his free-associational speeches make abundantly clear. Especially if you slow them down a bit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMMcb1iyYl0
Hell, even at regular speed he sounds a bit inebriated.
I’m going to go pour myself a nice drink. Of water.
I enjoy a good drink, though I typically stick to beers. There are no menus for mixed drinks, and you’re just supposed to go up to the bar and order something.
What do I want? What can I order that will tell everyone around me that I am a cool, adult person who is in control of their life? Why is my mind a complete blank, and all I can remember is ‘candy apple’, which is what I drank when I turned 18 and not the image i want to project…
“I’ll have a steam whistle.”
NAILED IT.
*Note to self, remember that you can get Long Island Iced Teas and that they are delicious.
I am also not sure why drinking, in a society that Scott Adams already said was okay with drinking in moderation, should disqualify anyone from any position of authority? I was drinking pretty much every other friday when I was at my last job, because we had a wonderful hole in the wall dive bar across the street. I have some very fond memories of that place… But I was still considered a responsible person. We had people bring beer in to work yesterday as their potluck item (it was glorious!) and work still got done.
I mean, I don’t work with nuclear codes, but it’s still important to us and our clients soooooo~
check this…
http://www.cnn.com/2016/11/01/opinions/hillary-clinton-victim-conspiracy-theories-kohn/index.html
and Scott Adams?? Seriously, these are the arguments of a ten-year-old.
Trump doesn’t drink?
Explains why he thought this swill was worth putting his name on:
http://cdn.timesofisrael.com/uploads/2016/03/tt.jpg
Gosh, Scott, I’m not sure how this slipped past your “master persuader filter” or whatever the fuck pseudopsychobabble you’ve concocted for it now, but… extrapolating regular people drinking on their off hours to don’t elect Clinton because she drinks on her off hours is kind of a stretch. Most people feel comfortable drinking after work precisely because they aren’t constantly on call for the top job in the whole country. If I was in charge of what is likely the largest nuclear arsenal in the whole world, you can guarantee that I’d never drink a drop of alcohol (or anything else that would impair me in the slightest). I’m 100% sure Hillary Clinton feels the same way.
Besides, have Trump supporters addressed the possibility of Trump himself being constantly on call for the top job in the whole country? I almost feel like people are downplaying how hard he’d have to work as president, while simultaneously insisting that Hillary would have to be hyper-vigilant all the time.
This is too stupid for me to dig up any feelings other than “meh.”
David,
Have you ever considered broadcasting on Periscope?
What world does this guy live in? Because WOW. Dude, stop reaching, you’re gonna dislocate your shoulder, and then you’ll have to deal with Obamacare and you might end up with pain meds, and we know that pain meds result in a lot of bad decisions…. /s
The worst decision I ever made when I was drinking… I can’t even remember, it was so insignificant. Maybe not breaking up with a terrible boyfriend? I mean, I might start singing, but I have a decent voice and I break out into song on a fairly irregular basis when I’m not drinking, so….
I’m pretty sure Hills can handle her alcohol. I mean, I already voted so it’s irrelevant at this point anyway, but still, I’m confident I made the right decision.
I grew up in a family where alcohol was always around, but the drunkest I saw anybody was they were talking/laughing louder than needed. I thought the alt-right liked tradition, and drinking some is traditional.
PS Cubbies!!!!
I get drunk really fast. I get a buzz off of a strong beer. I don’t think Hillary drinks more than like, three drinks and I assume she has a higher alcohol tolerance than I do.
Even at my drunkest, I’m more clever and functional that Trump.
You know what the alt-right loves? Conspiracies so here is a new one for them:
Muslims are forbidden from drinking alcohol,
that means Hillery can be ruled out as a “Secret Muslim”,
but there is no proof that Donald is not a “Secret Muslim” who secretly plans to keep refugees in the grip of ISIS thus giving them a recruitment base rather then depriving them of potential human resources Like his opponent plans to do,
What proof is there that Trump is NOT an ISIS plant?
Am I doing it right? Or does it need more toxic masculinity?
well, shit, i’m *persuaded*
he really is a master
i guess i’ll vote for trump
oh damn, i already voted for hillary
and i heardvoter fraud is bad
well, maybe in 2020.
Not sure what you’re going for here. Lots of people here are also a bit weird yet we’re not misogynists who think The Secret is an accurate representation for how the world works. “A bit weird” isn’t really the end of the description for Adams.
“A president who’s completely blotto all of the time would probably be a bad choice. “
I don’t know what your problem with Yeltsin is, but you better let the fellow rest in peace.
@ TreePerson the fact that Hilary drinks proves *she* is the ISIS plant, of course! It’s the perfect cover! She’s trying so hard to prove she isn’t a muslim, it can only be because she is. I bet she eats pork products as well! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!
Chiming in from Europe: Please, please, please don’t vote for that horrible man. He sounds more like Hitler than a potential leader for a democratic country. (Also, George W. Bush happened, and TBH I walked around with a lump in the pit of my stomach for 8 years, because i was waiting for when he was going to start a proper nuclear war. Seriously, the US Armed Forces are OP.) Life with Obama has been so peaceful. I don’t want to have to go back to being low-level terrified every time the USA gets mentioned on the news. Please vote for Clinton. Please?
On a “lighter” note: Clinton may well be a drinker, but Trump has sexually assaulted people. The two just do not compare.
In short: shut up, Scott Adams, and stop reaching. Your arms aren’t long enough.
(content warning: sarcasm to follow… hide the children’s eyes)
@ Earl;
Earl, Earl, Earl… we’ve talked about this, weren’t you paying attention?? Clinton would have to be hyper-vigilant all the time (and then she would only be half as effective) because she’s a woman. Trump could take half-days off and recline in Cabo (and still be twice as effective) because he’s a man
@Bob: “weird” is not the description I would use.
“A fucking arrogant embodiment of the Dunning-Kruger principle” is more to my liking.
Can we please stop using the clunky “master persuader” when referring to Scott Adams? “Mastersuader” rolls off the tongue so much more easily and is more accurate.
(In the name of fairness I’m required to disclose that it was my dear friend Grantair who came up with this)
I have made a lot of poor decisions in my life. Drunkenness figured in none of them.
I really have no idea what Adams is going for now. He seems to think he’s being clever.
@enjolra
Persuaderbaiter? Sweatersuader? Fullsweater?
Buttercup Q. Skullpants makes a good point. Alcohol doesn’t impede your judgment to the point where you think starting a nuclear war is a good idea. If it does, you probably shouldn’t be in a high-level public office even if sober.
@TreePerson: perfect! I love it.
Adams always runs with the first idea that pops in his mind and thinks he’s really clever for it, doesn’t he?
Unfortunately, that doesn’t appear to be the case.
At my work there is no drinking. It’s a dry company so whole contract (4 months for me 6 months for some), there is no alcohol, even on shore leave and they will test you. The thing is if someone has a problem it doesn’t matter dry or no dry, drink or no drink it will show. Even on our dry ships i have seen people who sniff thinners instead, drinking sterilising fluid or the 99% ethanol from the hospital.
So what i mean, drinking is not the problem. If someone is irresponsible like trump they will always be. So what if he doesn’t drink? Its irelivant to his actual rest of behaviour which shows he is carless, clueless and giftless.
@ Valentine
I wish the whole world was like that.