What the hell is going on in Scott Adams’ busy little brain? The Dilbert cartoonist and master persuader is now trying to persuade his readers that Hillary Clinton, not the volatile, easily angered Donald Trump, is the truly dangerous choice for president.
Because she’s been known to drink sometimes. And Trump supposedly doesn’t drink. At least not liquor. Maybe blood. People are saying he drinks blood.
But that’s a whole other basket of deplorables. Let’s get back to that alcohol thing.
Scott, you master persuader, persuade us:
Imagine you lived in a world in which no one except one senior citizen ever drank alcoholic beverages. Would you think it is a good idea to choose this one person – the only drinker in the world – to be in charge of the nuclear arsenal?
No, that would be crazy. We know alcohol impairs judgment. And a president is on-call for emergencies 24-hours a day. Alcohol plus life-and-death decisions is a dangerous combination.
Er, doesn’t that kind of depend on how much alcohol we’re talking about? A president who’s completely blotto all of the time would probably be a bad choice. But Hillary isn’t exactly a falling-down, fight-starting, vomiting-on-the-cat kind of drinker. She’s been in the political spotlight for decades. And she hasn’t been caught drunkenly singing old Saul Alinksky songs even once. (I guess Saul Alinsky probaby doesn’t have any songs but never mind.)
But Scott wants us to think that we’ve tricked ourselves into believing that drinking is even remotely ok for a president because most of us also drink. WOAH.
The only reason social drinking (or worse) is not automatically disqualifying for the Commander-in-Chief job is because … wait for it … many of us also drink alcohol.
And because many of us drink – as do most of our role models – we figure it must be okay for a President to drink.
It isn’t.
Because of nuclear codes and terror attacks and whatnot.
Weird, because pretty much every president we’ve ever had has been known to drink, and we haven’t had a nuclear war yet. True, George W. Bush famously gave up alcohol many years before becoming president. But he got us into two wars we’re still trying to extract ourselves from.
I would argue that alcohol consumption is the biggest risk differential in this election. We’re just blind to that risk because alcohol is socially acceptable. But even in your own life, you see alcohol being the force behind unwanted pregnancies, drunk driving, bar fights, domestic abuse, sexual abuse, and just about every bad decision you’ve ever made. If we humans were even a little bit objective we would never select a leader who is likely to be impaired by alcohol several hours per week, including the workday. (Allegedly.)
“Allegedly” in this instance means “some alt-right nincompoops have decided based on nothing that Hillary regularly gets drunk.”
Even if that were true, I would still vote for her. Hell, I’d vote for a fight-starting, karaoke-singing, constantly drunk Hillary over Trump. Actually, I’d vote for an actual literal bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 for president before I’d vote for Trump.
Trump may not drink, but he thinks like he’s drunk, as his free-associational speeches make abundantly clear. Especially if you slow them down a bit.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMMcb1iyYl0
Hell, even at regular speed he sounds a bit inebriated.
I’m going to go pour myself a nice drink. Of water.
What is the basis for the assertion that Trump doesn’t drink? What is the basis for the assertion that Clinton does? Before I let myself be master-persuaded I’d like to see the basic premises supported.
This is pathetic. Truly pathetic.
What a master persuader! The argument that because Hillary sometimes drinks alcohol like almost every President it means that she is not fit to be the President totally is convincing! So expert! Much intelligent!
The Pointy-Haired Boss Strikes Again.
They really are desperate.
@ Policy of Madness
Yes, that would be good for a ‘master persuader’ to do, the basics in fact.
Policy of Madness: When I looked for proof of Trump being a teetotaler, this Forbes article was the first result. It’s from 2011, but I think Trump still doesn’t drink. In a way, it’s too bad: if he was drunk (or high), that almost might explain some of the stupid shit he says.
Oh, and Adams’ column is pathetic even by his standards. I’m sure most non-Trumpoids who read it will share David’s reaction.
What about a president who snorts coke?
Seriously, what universe is Scott Adams living in? It’s not ours. It’s some creepy place like the Upside Down from Stranger Things. That’s the only place I can think of where an orange clump of orangutan hair who regularly gets into Twitter feuds with celebrities is considered a viable candidate for president.
Know what does have a major effect on one’s decision making? Sleep deprivation. Only one of the candidates brags regularly about how little sleep he gets. I wonder why that didn’t end up on Adams’ little make believe chart?
They don’t have vineyards, distilleries or breweries down in the void. But many of us here on the surface know the value of the liquid grapes
http://persephonemagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/karen-box-wine.gif
This was the best wine at this year’s Kentucky Winefest.
http://purpletoadwinery.com/paducah-harbor/
By far. We bought four bottles and I’m thinking that wasn’t enough.
Yeah, but they were all dudes though. (Editing this to clarify that this is a sarcastic comment on the well-known double standard.)
I mostly don’t drink myself, but I tried a couple of piña coladas a few years ago and I remember liking them. I may get a couple more, along with some coffee liqueur, and break my own teetotalism for election night.
He’s got a point, do we really want a president who allegedly smokes a ton of crack and starts hobo fighting rings? Or who allegedly rammed a bus full of nuns off a cliff? Or who allegedly has a super doomsday laser on the moon pointed at the earth? I mean, sure, there’s no proof Hillary did any of that, but she allegedly did because I just made up these accusations against her right now. IS THAT THE PRESIDENT WE WANT??
Last time I checked people who tweet until 3 am for months on end tend to not be in the best state of mind to be in charge of the most powerful nation on earth.
@Dr. Thang
Jokes aside if you want to do some real damage without using any dirty bomb, use a tungsten pole dropped from space.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinetic_bombardment#Real_life_concepts_and_theories
Even if Clinton illegally did something like construct an attack array with a method like this, I’d still trust her to not use than Trump, who I know would probably drop a billion rods on the Middle East as a “compromise” to nuclear bombardment.
Shit, I just cracked open another Not Your Father’s Vanilla Cream Ale just a few minutes before opening this post. (I really like them. I’m not a beer person, but these taste like mostly soda with a teeny bit of liquor.)
Guess I’m not qualified to be president because I had an ale today. I did have two yesterday, but it was a holiday and I had a shitty day at work. Before that, I had a few ciders some days before (while we were dealing with Susan).
Apparently still can’t be leader of the free world though. Because booze.
Paradoxy, you’d be ok as long as you stopped at slightly less than two:
I don’t drink alcohol. By choice. Not my jam. If people accept a imbibing President as a way to excuse their own behavior, I should have no need to do so. I should be able to see clearly how terrible a President who drinks would be. It’s only logical. Fuck it, Grant drank like an elephant and he was a disaster. Proof! And yet… nah, fuck off Scott. I hope Madame President Clinton downs a whole bottle of brandy on inauguration night. After this race, she’d have earned it
What was Scott Adams’ take on Rob Ford?
If you want blotto, that’s the guy who got higher office on it.
I need to try those. I really like their Root Beer. The brand is a bit pricey so it’s an occasional treat and I’m maybe due for it.
Scott Adams is a master-debater too. Thank you I’ll be here all week. Try the fish.
I don’t drink- never have done and never will- but Adams? No. Just- no.
I don’t drink because, from 16 to about 22, I was on meds with which alcohol was contraindicated; from 33 to now (46), I’ve been on other meds with which ditto; and, in between, I had no inclination to develop a taste. (The one time I tried a beer, it made me exactly the belligerent asshole I was afraid it would, and I can blunder into that state without liquid propellant anyway.)
@WWTH: It was a Samhain treat to myself. I really liked their root beer too. I got to try it on my cousin’s 21st birthday, we went out to a bar my uncle used to bounce at, and the bartender was really nice and fixed us all drinks and made tons of recommendations, including the Root Beer, which we were all amazed by because it tasted just like Root Beer, and none of us could really taste the liquor in it (The cream ale does have a bit stronger liquor taste, but it’s not enough to put me off of it).
Funny story: My cousin only eats fish (there’s a word for it, but I can’t even remember it sober, let alone tipsy), and she wanted a Bloody Mary for her birthday. We had one at Olive Garden, but theirs was hella weaksauce, so we went out to the bar. The lady made the drink, and put a slice of bacon in it. I asked her why, and she was like “Well, why not?” And I mentioned my cousin’s diet. She was super apologetic, but we all had a laugh over it, and cousin’s boyfriend ate the bacon so it didn’t go to waste.
I rarely get booze, mostly because it’s pricey, and the fridge space can be better served towards actually nourishing food and drink, and I’m just not that much of a drinker because my grandma owned a bar when my mom was a kid, and my mom kinda beat it into me that alcohol is bad in large doses and she shared some stories with me.
I’m also a fucking lightweight. Hell, I’ve only just drank ONE bottle, and I’m already really light-headed and kinda tipsy.
Worth it though. I do save a lot of money on booze that way.
I think at this point it’s pretty clear that Adams has tied his ego to being right about Trump. Having made the prediction early and invested so much emotional energy into it, he’s got some pretty extreme cognitive dissonance going on. He knows he’s right about everything, and he’s said that Trump is a genius who’s going to be President, so he’s twisting his brain into knots trying to make his worldview and reality congruent. The flying saucers didn’t come this year, but they’ll come next year, as they say.
How much power do Trump supporters think a president has? A president could come to work stone, or have a panick attack, or catch dysentery and have a fever delirium. The system planned for it and limits what a president can do on a whim.
(Another reason not to want Trump: he’d spend his time wailing that he can’t get what he wants.)
@Paradoxy, is it piscivore? om nohm nohm fishy.
I’m going out to an izakaya tonight so will probably be drunk off my ass. We’ll see! 😮
We probably would have won WWII if not for those sots FDR and Churchill.