An open thread for everyone sick of talking about the orange monster and/or other crappy news stuff. No trolls, MRAs, etc. Yes kitty pics, capybara pics, ponies, stuff you’re reading or watching, etc.
Categories
Time Out For Kitties: Non-Election Fun Stuff Open Thread
@guest
This was on the Cassie Jaye thread but I thought I’d answer it here instead:
I don’t know where you live, but I’m in the US and there is definitely some racism behind the push for mixed-income. It isn’t even disguised; if you read stuff from the architects of HOPE VI, they admit straight out that forcible desegregation of communities was one of their first principles.
Now, I’m not in favor of segregation, but desegregation has to be handled with a healthy dose of respect for the people who are going to need to move if housing desegregation is going to occur. I’m never going to say it’s okay to force people who don’t want to move to do it. People who want to move should be supported; people who don’t want to move should also be supported where they currently live and where they intend to stay.
There’s no physical reason why communities need to be destroyed to rehabilitate the housing. That’s an entirely political decision, one based, in my experience, on the presumption that poor black people are pathological in large numbers, so we need to scatter them around if we want a good result. I would rather see desegregation occur because people want to live in mixed-race communities, rather than because their homes were bulldozed. Moving people who have formed a mutual support network far away from each other is not a recipe for success.
Post-voting today, Roommates and I went to the Asian market.
They didn’t have my Hello Kitty candies that I’ve come to love (BOO!), but I did get some Halloween-themed strawberry pocky and some vanilla (?) Hello Kitty cookie sticks, along with my usual jar of kimchi.
We also got our usual curry buns, and I tried a “pickled mustard bun” that had mustard greens, chopped sweet pickles, and peanuts in a fried bun. It wasn’t bad, but I most likely wouldn’t get it again. I’m more of a fan of sour pickles, like dill.
I also got some shrimp chips to try (they’re…surprisingly bland. They smell SUPER fishy, but the taste is just so mild), and some Tonkatsu sauce (I’ve tried making it before, but Japanese worcestershire sauce and ketchup are so different from American…) so I’m looking forward to my foodstuffs for the next few days.
Especially when the kimchi runs out and I can use the juice to make salad dressing again!
The last time I made it, I used sesame oil, and it overpowered EVERYTHING, so I think next time I’m going to half it (maybe quarter it), and use a little more maple syrup.
I’m also hopefully going to go to Walmart later today and get a big can of Guiness for Samhain dinner (I’m hopefully making beef stew)!
So yeah, good day so far.
Kitties!
Any mammotheers from Iqaluit here? My SO is moving up there next week.
@John
Hey! Welcome back, pal! I missed ya!
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m66z5pSPbA1qltfc4o1_500.gif
There doesn’t seem to me a lot of american football fans here but I’d recommend anyway a look at the Michigan-Michigan State game, the uniforms are impressively ugly.
Would it be too much if I posted about the journal articles I’m reading about right now? I’m pretty excited about it but I thought inheritance of social information might get unpredictable.
Happy National Cat Day to everyone in the usA!
Our younger son is a high school sophomore in what the district calls a ‘counseling enriched’ class. I got two calls from the class counselor this week to tell me how very well he’s doing. The second time, one of the other students had filched his PS Vita (hand held electronic fascination device), and he sat quietly and calmly doing his work while the classroom staff worked on retrieving it. “Thank you,” he told them when he got it back.
The class he’s least enthusiastic about is the mainstream graphic design class; apparently, the general education students are noisier and more disruptive than the Special Ed students he’s accustomed to.
His older brother is still at the board and care home, still hearing voices. The staff have told us that he gets more phone calls and visits from friends and family than any of the other residents. The other residents don’t mind, because he’s just so darn likeable. He always has been. I’ve told him that that’s a highly desirable trait; if his younger brother had it, he’d be king of tenth grade by now.
It sometimes takes me aback how completely I’ve inhabited the roles of husband and father. I’m grateful to have had the father I had, seeing how I grew up to be him (to the point of marrying a man eerily similar to my mother).
@Jaygee
Thank you very much. It’s so good! The characterization, the feelz, Chester is (literal) fucking machine. Solid recommendation
@Robert
Dawww!
@Nikki
Congratulations.
@Opposablethumbs
Nothing pleasant, IME, but I’m honestly not sure there’s a lot you can actually do about it.
@Sinkable John
Hi! Welcome back. *hugs*
@Numerobis
I forgot how huge Nunavut is. No, I don’t know anyone within a couple thousand miles of there.
@Robert
Go you.
@Chiomara
Kitties! Also, while I’m sure it’s troublesome for you, I agree with IP that your hair looks great.
She initially was looking at a job in Cambridge Bay, which is as far from Iqaluit (and Edmonton) as Iqaluit is from Montreal.
Nunavut has three time zones. About 35,000 people total. By far the biggest “city” is the capital, where 8,000 people live.
A big change from our neighbourhood which has over 100,000 people in it, and is surrounded on all sides by city (except for the side that’s a city park I guess).
We’ve been on a crash course of learning how she can live up there. If she likes it — and the job like her — then there’ll be a question of whether I’m going up as well.
There’s a big issue with the white man’s burden, flying us up to save the local Inuit population — which is exactly what she’s been hired to do. The Inuit look at us askance because in our benevolence we tend to do things like steal their kids, destroy their culture, and ban them from using their language. Not to mention climate change.
@Scildfreja, thank you. I hope your Dad’s surgery goes well – and that the lab can’t wait to get you back. You’re a very inspiring person, if you don’t mind my saying so!
@Victorious Parasol, may your MRI be impeccable – both in smooth running, and in results.
@Chiomara, cute overload!!!! How do you say cute overload in Portuguese?
eles são tão fofos/são fofinhos de mais?
@Robert, you and your OH and the kids are just the godsdamned best. I take off all my hats to all four of you.
@Dalillama, thank you. Things fluctuate, and sometimes Spawn amazes me with how well they’re managing – and sometimes I get overwhelmed with worry (this morning was just such a time) and it’s a kind of a relief just to come out and say so. And in a way, because it’s not my tale to tell, as it were, this is the perfect place because a) you are all awesome and b) I don’t compromise Spawn’s privacy (as their name isn’t actually Spawn O’Thumbs, or not until the deed poll thing is all sorted, anyway)
Wishing all of you who do hallowe’en-y things a fun and just very very slightly scary hallowe’en, just enough for a momentary shiver and then feeling all the cosier afterwards. (we and the neighbours all live at the end of a looooong dark path; no trick-or-treater has ever come up here in all the years which is kind of funny really 🙂 )
@Sally
I love your art! No idea how you do what you do with markers!
@John
Welcome back! I hope you are OK. If you need anyone to talk to…
@Dali
Thank you :3
@OT
Yes! There’s no literal translation, but I’d say “fofos/fofinhos demais!” (literally, “too cute”). Perfect, congratulations ^^
I know I haven’t posted here before and this is kind of an involved topic for an open thread, but I’ve been lurking for a long time and I figured this was probably where I could get the best advice for this problem I’m having. At the very least, I know I’m not going to get a lot of comments that I’m a horrible person.
It starts, at least today, with this: http://writerunboxed.com/2016/10/29/author-bryn-greenwood-on-dogs-drugs-and-decisions/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+WriterUnboxed+%28Writer+Unboxed%29
It’s an interview with an author who wrote a story about an older guy getting together with a young girl (known her since she was eight, got together with her at thirteen, from what I understand), and I found myself really angry about it. I’ve always been pretty grossed out and horrified by what I consider these grooming situations that are treated as perfectly okay, and it looks like this book is making it out to be fine, given the author’s quote that she’s writing about consent and a child’s right to self-determination just like everyone else.
I’m pretty upset about it, for the obvious reasons (children really don’t have an adult’s capability for self-determination or consent to romantic relationships with their natural authority figures). But, I’m also upset because, deep down, I’m jealous. The author said she started dating much older men at thirteen as well, and I have to confess that I didn’t start dating until sixteen, and didn’t have sex until twenty-one. I’ve never had any attention from older boys/men in my life, and men haven’t really come on to me. I’m jealous of women who have had these experiences, because I feel like I’ve missed out on something. More than that, though, I feel like I’ve never been attractive or alluring to guys, or that I’ve never had that special something that allows girls to appear appealing to men. At twenty-eight years old, you’d think I would have gotten over this by now, but I’m still struggling with it.
I just want to know what you guys would advise for stopping this feeling, or if you had any consoling words. I definitely feel like a bad person for feeling jealous of kids who were by MOST moral standards been taken advantage of as well, so I that just compounds my upset right now. Any wise words?
Well, since ponies are allowed, I finally have an excuse to post this:
http://i235.photobucket.com/albums/ee77/schnookumsfd/Hunter/Sketchbook010_zpsduqyw1dn.jpg
(Sadly not my art, but art I did pay to be drawn all purtylike)
Chobani greek yogurt, the “flip” style, is really, really damned good. I note this because I just discovered how good it is and it’s so good I feel like I need to tell someone.
Just back from watching Two Lovers and a Bear, which has been on our list of movies to watch since before any job interviews. It happens to take place in Iqaluit and surroundings.
Not a warm cuddly movie!
@John
Welcome back! I’m sorry you had a shitty month. Hope it gets better.
@DandAHC
First, that author’s comment makes me sick. Second, I don’t think your experience is in any way unusual. I’ve never felt desirable or feminine in my whole life because society tells me to be those things I have to look like 0.05% of the population. I’ve felt jealous or just been completely unable to identify with people describing sexual attention they’ve received. My ex had to point out that he was extremely shallow for me to believe he ever found me physically attractive.
But the fact is physical attraction isn’t at all like what we’re taught. People have a wide variety of preferences and often find people outside their usual preferences attractive, too. I don’t care if you’re Quasimodo or Frankenstein’s monster, you’re still sexy, probably to lots of people. The part of you that tells you you’re not attractive is wrong. It’s hard to ignore it, I know, and I’m 37 and still struggle with it, but just knowing it’s wrong helps me.
Oh, and welcome!
I have a poll for no reason other than that I’m curious. Who is left handed? I am!
@DandAHC
I’m a guy, in his mid 20s, who’s never been on a date, and is a virgin. You say that’s a confession you’re making. It’s not. There’s no right time for these kind of things, guy or gal. Some people do early (leaving aside the grooming thing, cos blergh) and some never do. The world tells you the way things are supposed to be and what “special somethings” you’re supposed to have. Well, my advice is fuck that noise
I don’t know how to make you feel better about any of this, but maybe try this: stop saying what you didn’t do
See, instantly a positive sentence rather than a negative one. There’s nothing to be ashamed of there, so don’t say it like you are. No need to confess, it’s not a sin 🙂
So many lovely things from everyone this time around! And a pony! And Iqaluit! (I so want to go there) Schnookums, I love her hair and eyes, she’s very expressive. And, thank you opposeablethumbs :3 I’m flattered.
(I’ve also certainly missed some people here, sorry! It’s late and I am on a tablet)
@DandAHC, welcome! And thank you for sharing. Not easy stuff to share! I can’t give you an answer, only some things to think about perhaps. Take them with salt. (I struggle with similar feelings of inadequacy and having “missed out”, and have thought about it a lot)
Our brains trick us into think that the know what our problems are. There’s lots of psychology on this, and lots of theories about having missed out on X in childhood, or needing more hugs, or whatever. The deeper I dig into it, though, the less the theories matter. They’re just lenses.
I feel inadequate, unloved, unlovable, and it’s not because I have these qualities – they aren’t me, they aren’t part of who I am. They’re just habits of thought, calcified through repetition. They’re no more me than my choice of breakfast. I can change them, and they will evaporate.
Accept these feelings. Accept that you feel them, that they’re there, in your periphery. Don’t feel guilty for feeling them – they’re neurochemicals, it’s silly to feel guilt over neurochemicals. It’s the guilt that keeps them there. When you feel that way, let it happen, and then let the feeling go when you’re done with it.
This is how I’ve learned to handle my depression. It’s going okay so far! Some days are good, others are bad, but overall it seems to be a good strategy for finding a lasting peace.
Also, some interesting news from over here today – just found out that a friend is trans, and has just gotten an appointment for MtF hormone therapy! He (old pronoun still in effect) sort of blindsided everyone with it, but I’m super pleased at the reaction everyone’s had. His girlfriend and friends have been very supportive, and we’re all hoping it turns out great. Ideal circumstances, basically. So, super chuffed! Looking forward to when he goes for a pronoun change and the like.
How quickly things change, too. Progress is progressin’! It has been a good day.
@EJ, @Dalillama
Thanks! I’ve been job-hunting for a long time, and I’m glad it was finally successful.