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cuteness kitties no trolls allowed open thread

Time Out For Kitties: Non-Election Fun Stuff Open Thread

You're never fully dressed without a fake smile
You’re never fully dressed without a fake smile

An open thread for everyone sick of talking about the orange monster and/or other crappy news stuff. No trolls, MRAs, etc. Yes kitty pics, capybara pics, ponies, stuff you’re reading or watching, etc.

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authorialAlchemy
authorialAlchemy
4 years ago
weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo

DandAHC,

I do and don’t understand how you feel. Mostly do. I didn’t have my first date until my early 20s and lost my virginity at the end of my freshman year of college. About a month shy of 19. I’ve never felt and mostly haven’t been desirable to “normal” guys. I’ve had a few boyfriends and a higher than average number of sex partners, so I suppose it could be worse. But no serious relationships. I constantly wonder if something is wrong with me. Although I think part of it is that I’m on the aromantic sprectrum somewhere and am not really suited for a serious romantic relationship and guys can surely sense that, it still hurts like hell to feel ugly and unlovable.

Unlike you, despite attracting a limited number of regular guys, I have always attracted so many street harassers. And it started young. Most of the harassers were older. Trust me, it does not boost the self esteem. It’s just scary. I do get it though. Society sends us fucked up messages. Including romanticizing older men preying on young girls and acting like it’s some sort of right of passage. It fucking shouldn’t be! I’ve had my own fucked up issues with being jealous of 13 year olds though. At the peak of when I had an ED, I would gaze enviously at really young girls who had had a growth spurt and were adult height, but were still in early puberty and so were really skinny still. Again, society sends some really toxic messages. Like adult women should weigh same as 13 year olds!

Hopefully this post isn’t too rambling and nonsensical. I’m a bit drunk. Anyway, welcome!

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo

For some reason it double posted. I’ll delete the 2nd tl;dr

EJ (The Orphic Lizard)

@DandAHC:

Firstly, welcome and thank you for sharing with us.

Secondly, that story is totally gross. It is utterly unacceptable for an adult to sexualise or romanticise a thirteen year old. I have a great deal of sympathy for the author if that was her personal experience, and I’m not going to tell her that she’s a bad person for having it happen to her; but to write positively about it is to normalise it, and that’s not something I think people should be okay with.

Thirdly, you are not a bad person because you feel jealous. You’re responding to the way our society socialises women to hate themselves and each other. However, you’re aware of those socialised feelings and you’re aware that they are different from your own genuine feelings on the matter. That’s an enormous step which demonstrates tremendous strength, and I admire it immensely.

EJ (The Orphic Lizard)

(On the informal poll: ambidextrous but mostly right-hand dominant.)

rugbyyogi
rugbyyogi
4 years ago

Late to the party, but I’ve been having a really rough go of things lately and kinda spiralled down hill after going on a course where our client was a domestic violence service. Never really understood triggering before but it made me face some shit I’d been sweeping under the carpet and it wasn’t fun – panic attacks, nerves shot to hell, anxiety through the hoo-ha, etc etc.

Then a bunch of unfortunate shit happened – boiler broke down, unexpected bills, etc etc. and then my dryer broke. But my mom happened to be visiting and she bought me a new dryer. She hasn’t helped me a whole lot over the years and in fact stole money from me in the past, but she forked out for a new dryer which has just been delivered and I installed it. Doing a wash now – hopefully it all works out.

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
4 years ago

FIELD REPORT

– Literally three steps out the door, a woman with a dog said “Are you going to Mordor with the ring?” But then she caught herself and said “NO! Wait… Snow? No no no, the guy who likes to read!”

– The tram system had collapsed, so we had to take a bus.

– Hatched a 91% IV (13-14-14) Porygon on the way to the bus (42 candies!!!). This almost led to divorce.

– Saw nobody in costume until we got close to the club. Started to worry that we had the wrong date and we’d be the only ones in costume.

– Someone yelled “JON SNOW!!! BASTARD!!!”

– Bouncer thought I was Arn the Knight Templar.

– Got a table and did some people watching.

– Saw two guys dressed up as Fez and Kelso from That 70s Show, so I complimented them on being spot on. Turns out they weren’t in costume.

– Most people were zombies of various kinds, or were just in regular clothes with drawn on whiskers.

– More involved costumes included: giant demon with horns, all blue Avatar princess (or Smurfette?), zombie cop tangled up in barricade tape, full SWAT uniform, Bane from Batman.

– Bartenders were too stressed out to make proper drinks. We got drunk off Red Bull & vodka, beer, rum/malibu/lemonade/passionfruit/curacao/sparkling water specialties, and wine.

– Lots of people yelled “WINTER IS COMING!!!”

– Some guy tried to bond with me at the urinals. He complimented my costume and said he was dressed up as “generic gay dude”.

– Met an Asian woman on the stairs. She asked me to guess what her costume was, but she was just in regular clothes. When I shook my head, she said “Thai whore!!!” I was like ooookay. But you’re not Thai, right? (She didn’t look Thai.) She said “nah I’m Filipina, but I’m definitely a whore”. I’m like “Oookay. I gotta get back to my wife now.”

– There was a dragshow competition and I think Smurfette won, but it was unclear.

– Music was mostly 90s and early 00s radio pop hits. Backstreet Boys, Spice Girls, N’Sync, Brandy/Monica, Destiny’s Child, early Britney and Christina, mixed Eurovision gems, etc.

– Did some frenzied dancing until we realized we’re in our 30s and get exhausted immediately.

– Left the club at about 2am. The coat room guy said I had the best costume of the night. Walked to a burger place with good vegetarian options.

– A group of Muslims at the burger place called me over to explain my costume, and a woman tried to teach me how to be a proper Shi’ite.

– Got a halloumi burger, a vegan crispy Mexican burger, jalapeno cheese poppers, and cheese smothered fries.

– Tried to get on public transportation to get back home, but it was impossible. Waved down a cab instead ate the poppers in the car.

– Got home and yelled at the cats for being too cute.

– Swallowed the burgers and fries in less than 2 minutes.

– Got the costume off and fell asleep immediately.

– Woke up at noon.

TL;DR I suddenly remember why people go out and get drunk. Weird things happen.

kupo
kupo
4 years ago

Saw two guys dressed up as Fez and Kelso from That 70s Show, so I complimented them on being spot on. Turns out they weren’t in costume.

Love this.

Miss Verständnis
Miss Verständnis
4 years ago

First time poster too! Hi all!

This is a response to DandAHC. Trigger warning and also gushiness.

When I was in my mid teens I started being aware that I was becoming a “pretty girl” and got a lot of attention. I didn’t know what to think of it because I had been a shy child but everyone was saying it was a good thing so I got used to it. When I was 15 I started doing modelling. My parents were very pushy about it and used to be more interested in the business side than they were in supporting me. I got a lot of attention from older men though and I got used to taking that as a good thing. I did modelling until I was 29 including a lot of nude stuff. I dated a lot of older men during that time. I think it was because I had grown up accepting that older male attention was a good thing. It also made it harder for me to make friends with other women because I had to fight them for the attention. Now I’m learning about feminism and I realize that I was exploited and had cut myself off from other women. I didn’t feel safe with the male gaze on me but I was terrified that other women would steal it. I felt very jealous.

It was so strange when I read what DandAHC said because you might hate me for having that same experience you didn’t have, but I also hate other people for having had it even though I had it too. I don’t know enough feminism to know the proper words for it but it’s something that I feel every day. I was taught to feel competition for the attention of older men when I should have been feeling solidarity. Even worse I was taught that my self worth should come from that attention. You have my HUGE thanks for writing that because it really helped me make a breakthrough and realise that no matter how pretty we are, they treat us the same and make us feel the same. There’s always someone prettier and patriarchy wants us to feel threatened and jealous of her.

You are amazing and I hope you comment more if you want to. Everyone else here is awesome too. Thank you David for keeping a really awesome site!

PS: (((Chiomara))), those are the cutest kittehs EVER AND I MUST HAVE ALL OF THEM!

(((Chiomara)))
(((Chiomara)))
4 years ago

The author said she started dating much older men at thirteen as well, and I have to confess that I didn’t start dating until sixteen, and didn’t have sex until twenty-one.

Well, that’s actually completely average. Some 13 yos attract the eyes of some messed up old men just because their develop breasts and curves earlier, but from my experience, nearly everyone is virgin until 15 or 16.
Maybe it’s comforting to hear you’re not the only one, so let me tell about me:
I never dated. Have a boyfriend who I met online and dated online for one year. Then we personally met and I gave my first kiss and had sex for the first time at 19. Still with him. Our relationship is open and long distance and sometimes, rarely, I have drunk one nighters with women, but still go majorly unnoticed except by harassers and abusers. It’s shit. You don’t want that.
Speaking from self experience, the only thing worse than having constant, unfulfilled desires and asking why no one looks at you, is having constant, unfulfilled desires but constantly hiding and being weary of every man because most times you get out wearing feminine clothes, or every time you trust one even slightly, they trick and harm you like you are prey, and not in a sexy way, for you, at least.
I ask myself what is wrong with me all the time too, if I looked so much like a scared deer that only bad people find me attractive, if I am rude without noticing, if I am just ugly, I don’t know. It hurts. But just know you wouldn’t be happier if you only attracted the eyes of abusers either.

At twenty-eight years old, you’d think I would have gotten over this by now, but I’m still struggling with it.

A woman who is close to me was a virgin and never kissed or dated until 24. Now she’s 29, and dated, kissed and slept with just one guy.
She had self esteem issues her whole life too. I don’t know if there’s anything to say to help, but a conclusion that both me and her arrived to is: There is way more to life than sex, and the male gaze, or the lack of those. So we just focus on other things, career, studies, a hobby, rescuing kittens (:p)… It happens when it happens, you know, and I’d say that not obsessing about it makes the chances higher. Just seek to feel your best, try to dress in a way you feel beautiful, take a shit ton of smiling selfies, love and value yourself and go live your life! Screw most men (sorry, guys, your gender in general sucks, but I think you are alright here!) and some women (who can also be terrible)! From what I have seen from them, in general, they don’t deserve to be a constant thought in your head, especially not a thought that makes you feel bad. You need a man like a fish needs a bicycle. You can live your life completely fine, and it will be probably easier, without it ^^ So no worries.

I hope I helped a bit. I have a weird way of expressing but it comes from a good place. If you need to talk again, just say!

Valkyrine
Valkyrine
4 years ago

Hey guys, how can I add gifs in the comments, I found one that seems like I need to share? :/

EJ (The Orphic Lizard)

That’s the best night out account ever, IP.

Can you remember what her pointers on being a good Shi’ite were? Are they possible to carry out without violating the oaths of the Night’s Watch?

@Valkyrine:
Use image tags around the URL. Make sure the URL ends with a .gif. If in doubt, try changing the http:// to a https:// and see if that helps.

Policy of Madness wrote an excellent guide recently and it’s around here somewhere.

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
4 years ago

@Valkyrine

Just post the direct link (ending in .gif) on a separate line.

@EJ

I was carrying a light green ribbon which she said to hold in my hand and keep it pressed to my heart. Being a Shi’ite seems pretty easy!

(((Chiomara)))
(((Chiomara)))
4 years ago

Saw two guys dressed up as Fez and Kelso from That 70s Show, so I complimented them on being spot on. Turns out they weren’t in costume.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Most people were zombies of various kinds, or were just in regular clothes with drawn on whiskers.

Adults suck on Halloweening.

Some guy tried to bond with me at the urinals. He complimented my costume and said he was dressed up as “generic gay dude”.

You stabbed him with the blade, right?

Met an Asian woman on the stairs. She asked me to guess what her costume was, but she was just in regular clothes. When I shook my head, she said “Thai whore!!!” I was like ooookay. But you’re not Thai, right? (She didn’t look Thai.) She said “nah I’m Filipina, but I’m definitely a whore”. I’m like “Oookay. I gotta get back to my wife now.”

*Cringe* Jesus. You presented her to the generic gay dude, right?

Valkyrine
Valkyrine
4 years ago
Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
4 years ago

@Chiomara

Well, the generic gay dude was just an actual gay dude who hadn’t bothered with a costume. So I guess he’s forgiven. 😉

Btw, I’ve posted wigless pics here before. Nudes even: https://wehuntedthemammoth.com/2016/10/11/birth-movies-death-top-editor-devin-faraci-steps-down-after-sexual-assault-accusation/comment-page-3/#comment-995756

@Valkyrine

Excellent!

((Chiomara))
((Chiomara))
4 years ago

@IP
Aaaah. Forgiven. Definitely forgiven ^^

Oh. You’re bald!
Cute! Still cute cute cute! But a kind of sexy cute this time. I hope you wear make up sometimes, cause you’d look awesome. You look so “feminine” and “masculine” at the same time, it’s amazing! Congrats, very awesome face ^^

Do you do your eyebrows? I’m very jealous of them. And such a pretty beard color.

DandAHC
DandAHC
4 years ago

Thanks so much to all the people who replied, because you guys all helped a ton. I was afraid I would be dismissed, because it’s awkward when a stranger comes up to you and asks you to help them feel better, but I’m glad I wasn’t rude or anything.

I know that getting rid of these insecurities will take a ton of time and effort and probably won’t ever happen fully, but it does help to hear from people who are in the same boat as me. It also helps to hear from people who HAVE dealt with those things I’m irrationally jealous of and know that they also struggle with the problem, even if in a different way. I’m not GLAD that anyone has to deal with this, but at least I can have a crowd to talk to about it who knows where I’m coming from, no matter their different life experiences.

Also, to the folks who said the author’s comments on the topic are disgusting: I completely agree. It makes me so angry to think that this author is out there encouraging children to think that adults taking advantage of those little crushes kids sometimes get is those same adults “respecting” their autonomy.

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
4 years ago

@Chiomara

Aww, very sweet compliments. I don’t really do makeup. I’ve tried it a few times but it hasn’t turned out great. The eyebrows are all natural too. 😉

kupo
kupo
4 years ago

@DandAHC
Misery loves company but that doesn’t mean that we enjoy that our company is miserable. Well, not for most people. It’s nice to have someone understand what you’re going through. 🙂

@Petal
I also liked that other photo you shared on your vacation where you were all bundled up. Adorable. 🙂

guest
guest
4 years ago

@IP your costume is superb, and deserved a much better reception–I hope you get to wear it to an SF con sometime; people will LOVE it.

Jesalin
Jesalin
4 years ago

@Scildfreja

Also, some interesting news from over here today – just found out that a friend is trans, and has just gotten an appointment for MtF hormone therapy!

I hope your friend has a better time of it than I’ve had. I also hope they have money, next to nothing in transition is cheap (unfortunately).

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
4 years ago

@DandAHC

You’re not abnormal. I didn’t date at all until college. I never even thought that was unusual because at least half of the people around me (male- and female-presenting alike) had a similar story.

It was hard, though, even though I didn’t feel unusual. We’re told by society that we must be paired off, and we’re not happy unless we have a special someone in our lives. I’ve discovered that that’s bullshit. I don’t date these days and I’m not in a relationship, because of reasons (good ones, trust me). But you know what? Being non-paired is not terrible. It actually kind of rocks. You are a complete human being, in yourself, and being paired up is optional, not required.

It’s normal to be jealous when other people have things that we want. It’s worth examining, though, why we feel like we want that thing so badly, and if it’s really so terrible to not have it. You’re not a bad person to be jealous, though.

Here is something I watch occasionally when I need to:

LindsayIrene
4 years ago

I must share this very important kitten photo

comment image

((Chiomara))
((Chiomara))
4 years ago

@IP

Aww, very sweet compliments. I don’t really do makeup. I’ve tried it a few times but it hasn’t turned out great. The eyebrows are all natural too.

UNBELIEVABLE, you need to try again. Your eyes are perfect for some eyeliner. Come here (just one continent away!) and I fix it up for you.

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
4 years ago

We’re told by society that we must be paired off, and we’re not happy unless we have a special someone in our lives.

[…]

that’s bullshit.

Oh my gosh Lindsay that is a majestic kitty.

http://i.imgur.com/AZ8Nynu.jpg

LindsayIrene
4 years ago

@Scildfreja Unnýðnes

Eeeeeeeeeeeee I love Norwegian forest cat-looking kitties in the snow!
comment image
comment image

They look like they should be on longships. The two in the photo below seem inadequately dressed.
comment image

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
4 years ago

@Jesalin, he doesn’t have very much money, no :\ Hasn’t worked in three months though.

That said – Canada almost unanimously covers gender affirmative procedures under the health care acts. (Get your shit together, PEI and NB 😐 ) Alberta covers all possible required surgeries, along with hormone replacements and whatnot. The wait list is pretty long here for the actual surgery unfortunately, but it’s not untenable, and hormone therapy can happen pretty much right away, barring issues with individual doctors.

It ain’t perfect over here, but the worry isn’t going to be the medical side of things, it’s the social side. Still – that’s improving by the month both socially and legally, and he has a lot of supportive friends! I’m frankly excited for him, to be honest.

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
4 years ago

Frejya’s chariot was pulled by cats, it’s only right that they adventure with the vikings!

Jesalin
Jesalin
4 years ago

@LindsayIrene

OMG!! So cute yet majestic at the same time!

@Scildfreja

That said – Canada almost unanimously covers gender affirmative procedures under the health care acts.

🙁 If only that were true! I’m in Nova Scotia, and on social assistance. The only thing covered is my bottom surgery (and a huge wait for that, even longer for me due to a moronic therapist delaying my getting on the waitlist for a year). No facial hair removal coverage, no coverage for thyroid cartilage (“adam’s apple”) reduction, no coverage for chest reconstruction/augmentation (31 months on HRT and still only a AA/A cup, and maybe I’m more screwed up than most but breast development is very important to me).

And, nail in the coffin, no mental health care (I can’t afford a therapist who specializes in trans* issues, and don’t see the point in seeing a social worker with no real awareness of what I’m going through).

That said, it seems that your friend has a good support network, hopefully things will work out much better for them.

((Chiomara))
((Chiomara))
4 years ago

Just delivered the last kitty! The woman lived in SUCH a majestic house, I think she is a millionaire. I am so glad for him! He will live like a kitty king :3

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
4 years ago

@Jesalin, I’m so sorry! I know that NS coverage is pretty spare on the ground :\ Almost all provinces provide some coverage, but a number of them don’t provide all that much. NS certainly isn’t great in that regard. Alberta covers all of the surgeries and a bunch of the other support – not all, but more. It’s tough without money, and well, he doesn’t have work, and hasn’t for awhile now. Still! I am an optimist.

I really hope that things work out for you as well! I don’t know what that scene is like out east, but I know that here in Alberta it can be pretty spotty whether you’ll be in a supportive environment or a hostile one. You deserve all of the support you need, and it’s a terrible shame that you don’t get it, just because of where you live. I hope that it improves for you!

@Chio, I bet that kitty’s going to have delusions of being a lion!

Jesalin
Jesalin
4 years ago

@Scildfreja

Yeah, most only cover bottom surgery (and top surgery for FtMs), BC also covers chest reconstruction/augmentation. I didn’t think Alberta covered anything but GRS.

I can only speak for myself but, the sheer amount of waiting is soul crushing (just a heads-up because your friend is likely going to have to deal with a lot of waiting).

Also, thanks.

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
4 years ago

Yeah, the waiting is a terrible thing. It’s something we all know and are preparing for, though. Thanks for telling me about the situation out there. As far as I know, Alberta covers all of the surgeries and some of the other treatments, but it’s not complete coverage. Alberta’s certainly no paradise for trans folk, but it sounds like things are a bit tougher over here. Much love and care.

kupo
kupo
4 years ago
Jesalin
Jesalin
4 years ago

I almost forgot (for the sake of completeness) , my voice/speech therapy was also covered.

And thanks again.

Nanuqi of the North
Nanuqi of the North
4 years ago

@numerobis

I’m from Iqaluit. I moved south a year ago, but I still work in Nunavut.

Dalillama
Dalillama
4 years ago

@DandAHC
I was 18 or19 when I had my first sexual experience, (With an older man, as it happens; it’s overrated.) and I think 21 when I went on a date for the first time. Also, I’m with Chiomara and WWTH that most of ‘being noticed by men’ consists of harassment and bullshit. I got it from plenty of men even before I started transitioning, and more so now. (I’d think that, being gay men, my coworkers would be less obsessed with my breasts, but apparently I’d be wrong).

More than that, though, I feel like I’ve never been attractive or alluring to guys, or that I’ve never had that special something that allows girls to appear appealing to men.

Presumably the guys you dated thought differently 🙂

@Scildfreja
Well, congratulations and best of luck to your friend.

@Jesalin
I feel your pain. After the recent health care reforms over here, my HRT is covered, and I think bottom surgery should I pursue that, but basically nothing else. Also top surgery for FtM folks.Definitely no mental health or voice/speech therapy, not that I think the latter would actually be able to accomplish much of anything in my case.

numerobis
numerobis
4 years ago

DandAHC: I was 24 first time I had a girlfriend. I haven’t really “dated” — I’ve had partners (and have been with my current one for a few years now, and we plan on keeping it that way) but never from going out on dates, only from meeting people through other people. One of my partners, I was her first boyfriend. She was 22 or 23 at the time.

Nanuqi: cool! Um… I can’t really formulate any specific questions. There’s a mix of excitement (yay, a job, after nearly a year of searching — and it’s pretty much her dream job!) and foreboding (shit, Iqaluit is far and expensive to get to, so it’s not like we can visit each other every other weekend).

joekster (Bearded Beta)
joekster (Bearded Beta)
4 years ago

As I promised on the other thread, here’s some pictures of the bearded dragons I feed and take care of.

Enjoy:)

http://i.imgur.com/qUsGixu.jpg

This little guy’s named Charlie. I picked him up from the reptile rescue Friends of Scales in Chicago, where he’d been dumped after he bit the ten-year old boy who owned him. In his defence, Friends of Scales initially though he was female because he was so underfed that his hemipenes had contracted.

http://i.imgur.com/3YfnNGI.jpg

Last thanksgiving, my wife and I drove up to Montana to be with the folks for the holiday, and we took Charlie with us. I’d gotten a critter carrier all set up for him, complete with food, and I’d wrapped it in blankets to keep him warm. 5 miles down the road, I look back, and he’s sitting on top of it!

http://i.imgur.com/xEpNSjE.jpg

This lady is named Myrtle. She’s also a rescue, but she came from a loving family who’s owner had come down with enough health problems that she could no longer care for her. I do the best I can for her instead.

http://i.imgur.com/9HyoRnX.jpg

And here she is sunning herself on her favorite log, back in the old enclosure. You may be able to see here that she lacks claws on her back feet. Apparently, when she was a juvenile, she was kept in a cage with a whole bunch of other juveniles, who chewed on her feet. The experience seems to have given her the notion that she belongs on top of everything, which results in a lot of falls, as she can’t really hold on to anything with only front claws. I make sure she’s got something plush to fall on, and she’s been fine 🙂

http://i.imgur.com/oANGKqG.jpg

As a special bonus, here’s pic of my wife’s parakeet, Peanut. She’s the reason I have lizards instead of cats. She also firmly believes that that Boo doll that I got my wife for Christmas really belongs to her. Go figure 🙂

Nanuqi of the North
Nanuqi of the North
4 years ago

@numerobois

I got my dream job there and was there for 12 years. My heart is still there. But I needed medical care that is not available there. (Got it, too, yay!)

Whatever skills you have, there’s work for you there: there’s work for everybody. It’s unbelievably beautiful and the people are wonderful; life is good if you can handle the flipping massive inconvenience of just about everything. Iqaluit is a lot easier to live in than the smaller communities. It has a new pool opening early next year!

You nailed the Inuit/southerner dynamic.

For travel: Aeroplan is the best deal, since it is the same 15,000 points as any other short haul flight (but $2300 return from Ottawa or Montreal) Get a credit card that gives aeroplan points, pay for everything with it, and convert as many other loyalty points to aeroplan as you can.

For flavour, check out Nunatsiaq News online.

Buy your winter gear at MEC before you go…

Nanuqi of the North
Nanuqi of the North
4 years ago

@DandAHC and everybody who never felt attractive (that would be all of us, right?)

Yeah, me too, and I was one of the ones who had boobs at 11 and way too much attention from men at way too young an age. Believe me, even that young you know when you’re being used with contempt; and it does not make you feel attractive.

I’m now in my 60s, and polyamorous (putting the sex in sexeganarian!)* I’m overweight and wrinkled and hairy and have great big honking surgical scars. And I’m here to tell you, girlfriends, the smart men simply do not care; they have learned that beauty is all in the rapport. They are vocal in their praise of the beauty they see. If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I more beautiful now than I was 30 years ago.

And here’s the amazing thing: there are lots and lots and lots of those kinds of people. (I mean, I haven’t personally tried them all out, but you know, wish me luck.)

My point is, the social standards of attractiveness are as much bullshit as any other aspect of misogyny. We only accept them because of the wall of noise telling us that only a very narrow range of being is “attractive”. The social standards of attractiveness are an arbitrary way to find women lacking a) as a reason we should buy shit, and b) as yet another reason to put us down.

*Um, no, not in Iqaluit. In Iqaluit I was ultra-respectable. I went south to sin.

PeeVee the (Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Noice) Sarcastic
4 years ago

Joekster: so cute!!!

I seem to remember a bearded dragon avatar that looks like the little guy was smiling…was that you, or am I thinking of someone from another site?

joekster (Bearded Beta)
joekster (Bearded Beta)
4 years ago

@PeeVee: Yep, that was me. I switched avatars once I figured out how to get my own pics uploaded to Gravatar. That one was one I found online.

I picked it because that dragon was posturing and signaling aggression (black beard, open mouth, etc). Bearded dragons are really quite expressive, once you learn to read them.

numerobis
numerobis
4 years ago

Nanuqi of the North :

For travel: Aeroplan is the best deal, since it is the same 15,000 points as any other short haul flight (but $2300 return from Ottawa or Montreal) Get a credit card that gives aeroplan points, pay for everything with it, and convert as many other loyalty points to aeroplan as you can.

Holy shit that’s a huge discovery, thanks!

We just came back from shopping at MEC. There’s a month to go before Montreal gear becomes insufficient, so the plan is to line up what’s to buy, then have it delivered.

I’m not worried about finding work that pays in Iqaluit, but currently I run a consultancy in Montreal with a partner. So I don’t want to shut that down until we know we’re up North for a while.

(Housing was a big stress, but from the sounds of the phone conversation it’s solved)

joekster (Bearded Beta)
joekster (Bearded Beta)
4 years ago

I’ve actually got a story about the lizards that is relevant to this site (not sure if this needs a TW, but I’m going to discuss lizard mating behaviors):

They actually signal consent.

Bearded dragons have a distinct mating behavior: the beard darkens, and the male’s head starts bobbing rapidly, while the females head starts bobbing more slowly (Myrtle actually starts doing pushups).

Here’s the great thing: when I let the lizards out at the same time, Charlie often starts headbobbing at Myrtle. Myrtle then does one of two things.

If she starts head-bobbing back, they get freaky.

If, instead, Myrtle starts rapidly jerking her head and holds up her forepaw (which I’m guessing is lizard for ‘not interested right now, buddy’), Charlie runs off and hides in a corner.

Moral of the story: the literal lizard brain can figure out consent. Why do people have so much trouble with the concept?

(Admittedly, it took a few trials before Charlie got the idea, and there were a number of times where I intercepted him on his way to Myrtle when she just wasn’t interested and explained the concept to him. But, he learned. So can PUA’s.)

Paradoxical Intention - Resident Cheeseburger Slut

So, I had a good day at work today, but I found out I have to come in an hour early for opening tomorrow because Halloween (I have to come in at 7AM instead of 8AM), but this means I’ll (hopefully) get off an hour earlier, so yay more time for my first Sahwin celebration!

And I get the day off after that too.

PeeVee the (Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Noice) Sarcastic
4 years ago

Joekster: that was you! I noticed that avatar right away, but it’s always cooler to use your own photos, I agree.

That anecdote about your lizards made me giggle.