It may have stopped trending, and a giant DDoS attack may be slowing Twitter and much of the rest of the internet to a crawl for a lot of you at the moment, but this #TrumpBookReport hashtag is still a thing of beauty.
The premise is pretty simple: Trump’s answers to specific questions about policy questions tend to sound a lot like the bullshit answers you might expect from a high-school student who didn’t do the reading. So the question arises: What if Trump actually were a high school student who didn’t do the reading?
This is what you’d get:
https://twitter.com/TheLincoln/status/789276744247377920
Oedipus. Tremendous leader. The best. I've always said that if Jocasta were my mother, perhaps I'd be dating her. #TrumpBookReport
— kyla crowther (@whatkyIasaid) October 20, 2016
https://twitter.com/sadydoyle/status/789144700569677824
"Othello. Let me ask you, have you been to Othello? Have you seen it?" #trumpbookreport
— gendertotenlieder (@topgallantry) October 20, 2016
https://twitter.com/marthacohara/status/789213599516401664
https://twitter.com/noblerzen/status/788944742788829184?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
https://twitter.com/joshgreenman/status/789300879635742720
I just start catching them. I just catch, I don't wait. And when you're a star, they let you do it. Grab them in the rye. #TrumpBookReport
— David Futrelle (@DavidFutrelle) October 21, 2016
So, post your favorites, if you can get through to Twitter. Make up new ones, even if you can’t get through. Ignore the DDoS attack and the Trump fans trying to subvert this lovely hashtag.
There are Mockingbirds, lots of Mockingbirds. Will I kill them? I’ll just have to keep you in suspense.
Crooked Huckleberry Finn has been hanging out with some bad hombres.
Look, I don’t know about the Half Blood Prince. Frankly I prefer full blood princes but that’s just me.
There’s 22 catches. 22. I got all the catches, all the best … everybody says my catches are the best. All 22. Or more, really, I don’t stop at 22.
@Imaginary Petal – that is just too accurate. I’m afraid it sounds like you actually read that book. (I just finished reading it to my son)
Harry Potter, he has the best stones. He has a SORCERER’s stone! So great. Believe me.
You have crime, tremendous crime, you see what’s going on in our country with big league crime and frankly many other things, but when we have crime, and frankly we do, we have the worst crime possibly I would say by far, tremendous crime, but we are a country of laws, either we have a country or we don’t have a country, if we have crime we also need punishment, if we don’t have punishment we don’t have a country, bigly.
@rugbyyogi
Trust me, I did not. :p
A family making corrections, so sad! If you’re not wrong, there’s no need to make corrections. Believe me, when you’re as smart as I am, and I’m very smart ,I went to the best schools, I don’t need to fix anything – except Crooked Hillary’s failed policies.
Nobody respects Madame Bovary more than me, believe me. What a nasty woman.
Well… the me book report of Huck Finn is this – powerful stuff when he’s on the raft alone with Jim, but once the Bad Hombres show up, so does the bad plotting.
Something is rotten in the state of Denmark, let me tell you. It’s a total disaster, it’s incredibly sad. Hamlet–great guy, one of the best– had Elsinore, and lost it when Ophelia–such a nasty woman– just didn’t have the stamina to be queen! But many people are saying that it’s so sad, so sad what’s happening in Denmark.
The Lord of the Rings was a really great leader, a tremondous leader. There was something about a short guy – not the lord. Let’s face it, his name seemed foreign. Not a leader.
Don’t listen to the mainstream media. So nasty, just wrong, making all these false attacks. The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion is about sheriffs’ badges.
Listen, I’m telling you, many people are saying this is no country– OUR country, people– that this is no country for old men. Immigrants, violent immigrants pouring over our borders, and people are telling me what it’s doing to our veterans, OK it’s a complete disaster, I’m telling you, I’m going to take back this country for old men!
I have the best plan to find Nemo. I will hire the smartest people and we will come up with a plan so good, you’re gonna be sick of good plans, trust me. How long have we been talking about finding Nemo now, three months? And we give away our plans, we are so stupid, and then we say we’ll go find Nemo. But guess what, Nemo isn’t there anymore. He’s gone.
The expectations were pretty good, yes, but were they really great? I have the greatest of expectations, everyone says no, nobody has greater expectations than me.
So this Swift guy came with a way to end poverty. Good for him. I’m open to good advisors.
Look, there’s a crying, an outcry from lot 21, OK, it’s huge, it’s huge and the media has just ignored what people are saying about lot 21, the media are rigged against me because I’m speaking out, and we have to make America great again, we have to stop this crying of lot 21.
The best naked lunches are made in Trump Tower Grill.
So they’re saying this Cthulhu guy, I don’t know, I’ve never heard of him. Anyway, they’re saying he’s so great. I don’t think so. Excuse me, I prefer elder gods who aren’t trapped in a sunken city. He’s had 30,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 years down there! What’s he done?
Billy Pilgrim, you know, he used to hang out with the Slaughterhouse Five, but those days are behind him. Or are they?
But why were those lambs silent? Maybe it’s because of their religion. I don’t know.
Me, I like to be right in the middle of the crowd, any kind of crowd, madding or whatever, I’ll get down in the middle of it unlike the elites in Washington.
People say to me Marlowe, that Philip Marlowe, they tell me he’s a great guy, the best, really gets things done. But I don’t think so. Kind of low energy, you know? I prefer gumshoes who don’t sleep bigly, let me tell you.