Some great news for the sentient pile of burning garbage known as Matt Forney!
He has won the first Donald Trump Memorial Complete Lack of Self Awareness award (hereafter known as the Donald Award), which is an award I just made up and which I will henceforth bestow on people from time to time as necessary. I’ve named it the Donald Trump award as a way to avoid giving it to Trump, because otherwise he would pretty much be winning it every day.
Forney, a hateful rape-apologizing “pickup artist” turned freelance white supremacist dickhead, wins the award this week for a series of Tweets that collectively represent a failure of self-awareness of truly Trumpian proportions.
Hell, he could have won the award for this Tweet alone:
Even setting aside Forney’s delusions of grandeur here, this is patently ludicrous. Twitter is so lax about enforcing its rules that it isn’t even able to keep the ban-evading Forney, a regular violator of said rules who’s been permabanned already at least once, off of its platform. Yet Forney thinks he’s so important, and so “dangerous” to the status quo, that Twitter is engaging in some sort of high-tech secret censorship against him.
Here Forney accuses someone critical of Trump of being a “paid Hillary troll” working for peanuts.
This is, of course, silly, but what makes it ironic is that Forney used to make much of his living writing clickbait/SEObait articles for $5 a pop on Fiverr, a fact he actually brags about on his blog.
At one point in January, I was getting upwinds of 8-10 orders a day, with gig multiples bringing my total earnings to around $400-500 per week.
On paper, it would seem like I had it made, right?
Yeah, except for the part where you’re literally writing 80-100 articles a week — in other words, roughly 4200 to 5200 per year — for the equivalent of a yearly salary of somewhere between $21,000 to $26,000. Which at the low end isn’t that much more than you’d make working 40 hours a week for minimum wage.
Though Forney ultimately realized that the “Fiverr Hamster Wheel” was a pretty “demoralizing enterprise,” he went on to recommend it to others in a Kindle mini-book titled “Writing for Peanuts: How to Make Easy Money on Fiverr” in which he offered specific tips on writing phony reviews on Amazon, Yelp and TripAdvisor.
Yes, that’s right: He wrote a how-to guide on becoming an internet shill. Based on his personal experience.
“Sperging out?” I guess that’s one way to try to convince yourself that a good portion of the Internet wasn’t just flat-out laughing at you.
Yet Forney is an avid fan of a guy so thin-skinned he thinks that Alec Baldwin’s spot-on parody of him on Saturday Night live this past weekend was a “hit job” by an evil media conspiracy trying to rig the election against him.
Watched Saturday Night Live hit job on me.Time to retire the boring and unfunny show. Alec Baldwin portrayal stinks. Media rigging election!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 16, 2016
Yeah, Donald, you just tell yourself that.
Nepotism, huh? Here’s a photo of Forney’s idol, whose entry into the real estate world was greased with a “small” million dollar loan from his father (among other favors). He’s posing with several Executive Vice Presidents of the Trump organization who may look a little familiar to you.
I wonder how they got their jobs?
Meanwhile, Forney’s successful career as a sentient pile of garbage was made possible with help from his father, the notorious Islip Garbage Barge.
Here’s a, well, revealing pair of Tweets:
Nah. I’m pretty sure both terms are useful descriptors for “dudes who are such racist pieces of crap that they use a Tweet about Julian Assange as an excuse to drop one of the white supremacist internet squad’s favorite racist catchphrases.”
Forney’s bestest friend in the whole
wide white world is a fellow named Davis Aurini, one half of the Sarkeesian Effect team that is no longer a team, and the, er, director of an unauthorized feature-length spinoff of the Sarkeesian Effect. That is, a whole “film” about someone he hates on the internet.