Categories
aggrieved entitlement alt-right crackpottery drama kings entitled babies homophobia irony alert matt forney post contains jokes post contains sarcasm projection scott adams twitter

Scott Adams accuses Twitter of possible TREASON for shadowbanning him, maybe

If this man were alive today, he'd be deleting some (but not all) of Scott Adams' Tweets
If this man were alive today, he’d be deleting some (but not all) of Scott Adams’ Tweets

I may have given out the first Donald Trump Memorial Award for Complete Lack of Self Awareness to the wrong person earlier today. Because, as much as Matt Forney deserves the award, Scott Adams may deserve it even more. For some of the same reasons, even.

Forney, you may recall, thinks that the EVIL JEWS of Twitter are shadowbanning him (that is, hiding some of his Tweets) for the crime of speaking truth to power, which in his case seems to involve a lot of calling people ‘f***ots” and “tr***ies” and suggesting they kill themselves.

Dilbert creator and dumb-opinion-haver Scott Adams similarly believes, or at least suspects, that the evil Hillary-lovers in charge of Twitter have “decided to suppress my free speech on the site, presumably because I have said good things about Trump’s talents for persuasion.”

He announced this suspicion, naturally, in a Tweet, which for some reason Twitter didn’t decide to suppress. Probably just to screw with his head, you know how devious those Twitter executives are.

Wait, you may ask, how exactly would “shadowbanning” some but not all of a cartoonist’s dumb tweets constitute TREASON!!!!11!!?

In a blog post, Adams explains:

I won’t jump the gun and assume something nefarious is happening. But I will say that IF it is happening, I would regard it as treason. If one political party can use the machinery of social networks to reduce free speech, that is an attack on American values at the deepest level.

And this would mean WAR between Adams and Twitter.

As a patriot, I would feel obligated to help kill Twitter. (And you wouldn’t want to bet against me.)

Now, as far as I know, Adams isn’t planning on sneaking into Twitter’s offices like a ninja and stealthily dispatching all of its executives. Nah! He just wants to start some sort of shareholder revolt becuase TREASON AGAINST SCOTT ADAMS (some of the time).

I understand Twitter is looking for a buyer. If management is shadowbanning me, that would be breach of fiduciary responsibility, screwing both the shareholders and the employees who hope the company can be purchased. In my view, shadowbanning would make Twitter too toxic to own. That toxicity – treason in my view – would transfer to the buyer.

How will he know if Twitter is actually guilty of the part-time, Scott-Adams-specific TREASON he’s talking about? Well, he sent a note to Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey demanding WHERE ARE MY TWEETS OR AT LEAST SOME OF THEM YOU (part-time, Scott-Adams-specific) BENEDICT ARNOLD??11!! Or words to that effect.

I don’t have confirmation from Twitter that this is happening, so I tweeted Jack Dorsey today to ask. I’m sure he’s busy, but I’m hard to ignore. If no response in two days, I’ll assume my Twitter followers are correct that my tweets are not always showing up in their feeds.

LINE IN THE SAND

When Adams shared these thoughts — on Twitter — about how Twitter might be SILENCING HIM, well, let’s just say that some people skeptical of his treason theory treated him to some gentle ribbing.

Adams accused them of “cognitive dissonance,” and being PAID SHILLS FOR SHILLARY (or whoever).

HOW DEEP DOES THE CONSPIRACY GO??111!!!11!

Well, pretty deep, apparently. Because guess what: SOME OF MY TWEETS HAVE BEEN DISAPPEARING TOO!!!1 Seriously. A couple of my Tweets seem to have vanished from Twitter shortly after being posted.

INCLUDING ONE MAKING FUN OF THAT MGTOW DUDE TALKING ROMANTICALLY ABOUT WET HOLES!!!

I can only conclude that there is a vast conspiracy of Trump-hating yet also vagina-fearing MGTOWS at the helm of Twitter.

IT’S TREASON I TELLS YA

 

88 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
8 years ago

@IP

My local paper recently ran the front-page story “Trump is a revolting slug.” A local paper from the Aussie outback that barely even notices our election season, much less the US’.

It’s all a bit like that old movie cliche where the villainous puppet master accidentally leaves his intercom on, only it’s deliberate and he’s the puppet. Once he steps out of the office, his life will be over*, taken down by his own douchetastic mouth.

*Note to lurking trolls: Metaphorically, as in penniless and friendless.

Moggie
Moggie
8 years ago

IP:

Anna Hagwall, who recently made news when she proposed that “no ethnic group” should be allowed to own more than 5% of any market in the country

Umm… is she aware that she’s part of an “ethnic group”? That her proposal is, effectively, a peculiarly authoritarian call for multiculturalism?

Pie
Pie
8 years ago

weirwoodtreehugger:

I’m going to assume Twitter is a dog person and is committing treason against cats.

Wake up, Sheeple!

If sheep people are sheeple, does that make cat people cattle? Mind blown.

Anyway, treason? Did he even pause to point his towering mensa-level intellect at, say a dictionary, or (heaven forfend) wikipedia? Cos having twitter delete your tweets isn’t even an infringement of your freeze peach, let alone anything more serious.

Maybe Scott can team up with Milo and petition Trump to have the Twitter board lined up in front of a firing squad.

Pie
Pie
8 years ago

Moggie:

Umm… is she aware that she’s part of an “ethnic group”?

You misunderstand. “Ethnic” means “different to me”, in the same way that “urban” means “brown”, you see.

Kat
Kat
8 years ago

Scott is yanking our chains by joking around about treason and such.

He chuckles to himself when we react.

Poor, pathetic fools. They see only the opaqueness of my tweets, never the hilarity.

Now, I’m no occasionally mildly amusing cartoonist, but I do know that humor is meant to be shared. Otherwise, you’re just an insufferable asshole trying to prove to yourself what an effin’ genius you are.

Steampunked
Steampunked
8 years ago

Ahaha, oh lord, I just worked it out.

The creator of Dilbert is admitting, whether he wants to or not, that tech has passed him by and he’s rather a luddite now.

Kat
Kat
8 years ago

This is intriguing:

Michael Moore Preps Surprise Donald Trump Film

‘Michael Moore in TrumpLand’ reportedly based on one-man show filmmaker performed in Ohio earlier this month

http://www.rollingstone.com/movies/news/michael-moore-preps-surprise-donald-trump-film-w445452

EJ (The Orphic Lizard)

@Pie:
I thought “urban” meant “Jewish”? Or am I getting confused with “cosmopolitan”?

Aunt Podger
Aunt Podger
8 years ago

Umm… is she aware that she’s part of an “ethnic group”? That her proposal is, effectively, a peculiarly authoritarian call for multiculturalism?

Yes, I first read that to mean “including the hegemony/ majority,” and I was intrigued to think of redistribution of wealth among, at minimum, twenty ethnic groups. Then the moment which had heretofore been flying over my head made me go, “Ohhhh,” and I rather wish it had not.

Kat
Kat
8 years ago

@Alan

Why have you illustrated an article about treason with a picture of loyal British-American Benedict Arnold?

My American brain has a headache now.

I felt the same way about the redcoats in Pride and Prejudice. The young women in the story saw them as potential suitors.

I was all, What?! They’re redcoats — lackeys of the hateful king!

reimalebario
reimalebario
8 years ago

@EJ:
No, “global” or “globalist” is jewish. I think “cosmopolitan” may just be “includes people who are either not white or speak with an accent or possibly both”.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
8 years ago

@ Kat

Yeah, attitudes over that little kerfuffle aren’t exactly straight forward even here (on one view it was British citizens fighting German mercenaries).

I think I’ve mentioned before that the Declaration of Independence was drafted by barristers from my Inn of Court (Middle Temple). We even have one of the original copies in our library; which of course we’ve defaced with stickers.

As seen in this not very good photo.

http://media.tumblr.com/d38c549d54d947f3f6678197b5ab1483/tumblr_inline_mr57a5Icxi1qz4rgp.jpg

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
8 years ago

Gotta love how these dudes have everything arranged so that they can never be wrong. Twitter drops tweets = they are a powerful force and Twitter is afraid of them and must try to silence them. Twitter works properly = they are a powerful force and Twitter is afraid to cross them. Twitter bans them = they are a powerful force and Twitter must try to silence them. Twitter ignores them = they are a powerful force and Twitter is too afraid of them to cross them.

The model where they are insignificant gnats that Twitter occasionally swats with the banhammer just doesn’t exist for them. Every glitch and action or inaction is deliberate and aimed square at their imagined power.

Kat
Kat
8 years ago

Wow! There’s an interesting bit of history.

In the USA, John Hancock is perhaps the most-remembered signer of the Declaration of Independence because his signature is so large and beautiful.

My boyfriend — whose handwriting is terrible — is actually related to Hancock. He gets teased a lot.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
8 years ago

@ Kat

Heh, so calligraphy skills aren’t genetic (if I could write as beautifully as that I’d take up a lot of room too)

“Stick your John Hancock on the dotted line” is sometimes used as a euphemism for signatures even here. Wonder how far back that originates? (We picked up a lot of US slang in WW2)

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

If one political party can use the machinery of social networks to reduce free speech, that is an attack on American values at the deepest level.

Attacks on free speech? Shall we talk about voter suppression and intimidation and #repealthe19th and “second Amendment remedies” and Trump threatening to expand libel laws, or do those things not count because Republicans are the ones doing them?

Oh, treason? Shall we talk about the Trump campaign’s multiple entanglements with Russia, the fact that his campaign actively solicited donations from leaders of foreign powers, and the fact that he and his supporters are now actively engaged in sedition against the government?

Yeah, I think the country will survive the occasional loss of one of Scott Adams’ Deep Thoughts.

EJ (The Orphic Lizard)

Thanks for that, reimalebario. It’s hard to keep these things straight.

Iseult The Idle
Iseult The Idle
8 years ago

Two terms Scott Adams uses but does not understand:

1. Treason;
2. Cognitive dissonance.

What kind of universe is this, where this waste of space and his ilk are alive and David Bowie is dead?

Joekster-betas bearded, sheeple shamed, dragons derailed. Reasonable rates.
Joekster-betas bearded, sheeple shamed, dragons derailed. Reasonable rates.
8 years ago

@alan: if I recall my own history correctly, Arnold was something of a double traitor: he was initially a loyal British citizen, then he did join the rebels (and in fact, helped plan the capture of Ft. Ticonderoga, which gave the rebels the artillery they placed around Boston in the early stages of the war), then went back to the British when he ran out of money and realized that the Continental Congress wasn’t going to give him any more cash.

If you knew that already and were just being sarcastic, please ignore the ‘splaining.

sillybill
sillybill
8 years ago

@reimailbario and ej,

The term ‘cosmopolitan’ as a reference to Jews comes from Bolshevik propaganda – Pravda would refer to them as ‘rootless cosmopolitans’.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rootless_cosmopolitan

BaronJenks
BaronJenks
8 years ago

The War of Independence has a strange status in the UK – my school history barely touched it, and I imagine most people’s knowledge of it comes almost entirely from US media ( same with the War of 1812 ).

I was at the NFL game in London a couple of weeks back and the anthems were also a bit weird. Lots of Americans respectfully standing during a song about how the Queen is born to reign over us, and lots of Brits respectfully standing during a song about the US beating the UK in battle.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
8 years ago

@ baronjenks

Lots of Americans respectfully standing during a song about how the Queen is born to reign over us,

I had to attend events where there was a toast to the Queen; I was often accompanied by an Irish friend. So this was a regular occurrence…

Treasurer: “The Queen!”

All present (bar one): “The Queen!”

Irish friend: “Ha, your Queen”

Ledasmom
Ledasmom
8 years ago

There’s a lot of hypotheticals in that theory of Adams’. It’s the “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie” of self-absorbed conspiracy-theory wankery.

BaronJenks
BaronJenks
8 years ago

@ Alan Robertshaw
That reminds me a bit of Scottish Jacobites toasting to the King “over the water”, albeit a bit more upfront in your case 😀

Diptych
Diptych
8 years ago

Tangential question – do you think Scott Adams is familiar with the Mandela Effect? Because I can totally imagining him arguing that his superior intellect allows him to see that it used to be spelled “Berenstein” until the Clinton Conspiracy™ covered it all up.