After that now infamous tape of Donald Trump boasting about grabbing women’s private parts came out on Friday, film critic Devin Faraci — a self-described feminist and one of the more aggressive opponents of GamerGate — took to Twitter to excoriate Trump’s abominable remarks.
Then this happened:
In a series of tweets, @spacecrone told the whole story:
The accusation stopped Faraci in his tracks. He didn’t quite admit that it was true, but he also kind of did. And he asked for forgiveness for something he said he couldn’t remember doing.
This was on Sunday. Today, Faraci resigned as Editor-In-Chief of Birth.Movies.Death, saying:
This weekend allegations were made about my past behavior. Because I take these types of claims seriously I feel my only honorable course of action is to step down from my position as Editor-in-Chief of Birth.Movies.Death. I will use the coming weeks and months to work on becoming a better person who is, I hope, worthy of the trust and loyalty of my friends and readers.
He still hasn’t quite admitted to anything, but @spacecrone says she’s heartened that Faraci seems sincere in his contrition.
“I am really happy that it sounds like Devin is interested in getting help about this, and I’m open to any accountability processing that might be part of his treatment,” she told Variety.
I really hope this can be a moment of self-interrogation for all of us, myself included, about the ways we might use positions of power to silence people, and the ways we all turn away from things that might seem a little too complicated to deal with.
Faraci’s alleged assault is more proof (as if we needed any) that being on the “right side” on the issues — in Faraci’s case, taking on GamerGaters, calling for greater representation of women in the movie business, and so forth — does not automatically make you a good person. (Hugo Schwyzer, anyone?)
As it turns out (as it so often turns out) plenty of people — and not just GamerGaters — have been pointing out seriously assholish language (and behavior) from Faraci for some time. In the wake of @spacecrone’s accusation, writer and Bibliodaze co-editor @Ceilidhann set forth some of her issues with Faraci on Twitter:
Devin Faraci sexually assaults women, tries to goad people into suicide & cyber-stalks basically everyone but sure, fandom is the problem.
— Kayleigh Donaldson (@Ceilidhann) October 9, 2016
Honestly, the continuing silence over his years of bullying & attacks on this site & elsewhere make this round utterly unsurprising. https://t.co/ewLVAUxjoN
— Kayleigh Donaldson (@Ceilidhann) October 10, 2016
(By “this site” she means Twitter.)
Faraci's bullying & misogyny were blatantly clear to everyone for a long time & many still harboured him at the expense of those he hurt.
— Kayleigh Donaldson (@Ceilidhann) October 10, 2016
Naturally, the Gamergaters, have seized on Faraci’s alleged sexual assault as an excuse to attack, well, the same women they always attack.
It took less than an hour for my tweets on D*vin F*raci to be used by GG/MRAs as an excuse to attack Anita Sarkeesian & SJWs. Typical.
— Kayleigh Donaldson (@Ceilidhann) October 9, 2016
Because of course.
H/T — The Daily Dot, NYMag, GamerGhazi
@ nparker
I’d offer a fistbump, but I’d rather share this:
http://i.imgur.com/27y594X.jpg
@runsinbackground
So for Asian het men from all parts of the world, what is your opinion when it comes to them regarding feminism?
Also what WAS your goal commenting here? To make feminists in the comments sections say strawman statements and discriminatory attitudes towards white cis het men? To dictate to women what feminism is and what feminism should do?
@Alan
Once again, am I lost for words to describe why I have a problem with what I just read. I know what it is, but language isn’t cooperating. It ties back to @Petal’s deal about the ‘one, true woman’s experience’, but it’s slightly different… I dunno
@Oogly
Good looking out, fam 🙂
http://media3.giphy.com/media/84U5xx6nCl9sY/giphy.gif
@nparker
That’s… just not cool. Transpeople aren’t defined by an operation or lack thereof. Also, there isn’t an operation. There’s lots actually. Different kinds, different steps of the process, etc. You’re good otherwise. Watch that stuff, is all
I thought I’d seen runsinbackground here before as something other than a troll. That was some master-level mansplaination there, though. It almost looked meta: “I say you shouldn’t trust male feminists, and I’m going to personally model all the reasons in this very thread.”
I’ve seen comments from runsinbackground before, benign and agreeable. Was sort of surprised by this, really!
I’m guessing they made a statement they thought would be generally agreed with, felt challenged when it wasn’t, lost their cool, and the bad decisions started to pile up from there. Not an agreeable way to behave, but I can see how it could come about without premeditated malice. And, well, it’s not every day you see someone commit the internet equivalent of standing on a table, firing a pistol into the air and shouting “I’m untrustworthy and shouldn’t be listened to, and I dare any of you wretches to prove otherwise!“
I wouldn’t disagree with this, exactly, but it feels weird to speculate about someone’s motives, especially when that someone is probably still watching the thread. RIB is really the only one to know what happened there.
Mocking kupo was a particularly low point, though, and one for which RIB needs to apologize hard. I mean, wow. I wonder if RIB even knows what kind of line that was to cross.
This is a long post. If TL;DR occurs. I am an idiot, and I screwed up. I am sorry. I will do better next time, if there is a next time.
Alright, so obviously I screwed up quite a lot asking those questions in the way that I did, and I’d like to admit wrongdoing by ignorance. Strangely that was what I was asking the questions to combat, but that is irrelevant. I am sorry I stirred the pot the way that I did, and if I made any comments that were offensive or hurtful to specific individuals, regardless of who they were, I apologise for doing so. I won’t take a devil’s advocate position again, and I will attempt, if I ever comment again, to use what I did learn from this.
Further to all those who have been hurt or assaulted, or worse, you have my sincerest sympathies, and I wish I could do more than just offer that. I did not mean to trivialize your trauma, or suggest in any fashion that you needed to forgive those who have hurt you. That was not my intention, and to any who thought it was, it is entirely my fault, and I apologise. I apologise also for the length of this comment, and I will do my best to keep replies to people brief.
@Imaginary Petal (And many others.)
Most of my post was written in a position I myself was not comfortable with, and a position I did not agree with. I respect your and each other person’s right to choose not to forgive Mr. Faraci.
I am acknowledging what he did was unforgivable, it was an offense beyond the pale. I would have trouble myself forgiving him, even if he was contrite.
As for concern trolling, I apologise to you, and I suppose to everyone here for how that was worded. It was said in a position of ‘Devil’s Advocate.’ Not as a statement that I agreed with. It was said with the intent that I question people’s cynicism, and other very hardline attitudes to never forgive, and to address the frequent criticism I run into that this movement is unreasonable. I stated these things to learn how to better reply to people who ask me, “How I could” or “How can you not ever forgive someone. Aren’t you being hypocritical?” Because I struggle explaining myself to people on personal stances I take, where I equate sexual assault and rape with Murder, and deserving of harsher penalties than physical assaults. Which is my personal stance, and I welcome anyone to tell me why I’m terrible for that.
Thank you @Imaginary Petal for your reply, and your help.
@Alan Robertshaw
Thank you very much for answering my main points. I appreciate you doing so. On forgiveness, I want to say thank you for giving me some much needed knowledge in how to frame further questions or comments, so I do not put undue, unintended or other invisible pressure on victims. That was not my intent, and once more thank you.
@Kat
I must have misread, or did not read deep enough into his words. I put too much weight, on
Saying such. And so when I entered into my position, I pushed forward a presumption of his sincerity. I cannot apologise for this however, as I was arguing as a ‘Devil’s Advocate’ To promote further reflection, and debate. I can however apologise for not researching further, or reading carefully enough, and thus letting my message stray from intent. In the future, should I ever comment again, I promise to you and to all, to more carefully consider what people are saying, and then then make my own personal position more clear than I did. Thank you.
@Freemage
Thank you very much for understanding the point of my argument, and genuinely giving me many things to think about. For helping me understand the personal equivalency in where the presumption of innocence should lie, and when I should be honestly applying it. I salute you and your efforts, and I am deeply grateful for your calm and simple words. You help make me less of an idiot.
@Policy of Madness
I apologise to @spacecrone, it was not my intent to erase her, and the things she endured. It was never my intent to do so. To answer your questions, none of those things that I know of. Mr. Faraci has done none of them. He deserves no forgiveness as of yet, or possibly ever from any person he has effected. I did not say he does deserve it, I did not imply he has done anything as of yet, to deserve it. Nor do I believe he will. I presented the incredibly unlikely scenario in which he does, all of those things, and then I asked what comes next. Not to insinuate he deserves our clemency, and forgiveness instantly. (Though I see where people are taking the idea from my poorly formed words.) But to provide topic for debate, and some self introspection.
I am no one of any consequence, nor anyone in any way qualified to set any policy, and I know I have no power or authority, because I don’t even know how I’m supposed to feel other than disgusted by his actions. This is why I took the position of Devil’s Advocate, and presented a hypothetical scenario against my own beliefs, so I could better understand how I as a person in a society, who wishes people to be treated fairly and equally regardless of any identifying characteristic, am supposed to forgive Mr. Faraci, if indeed he were by some miracle to do everything he was supposed to.
Because I can occasionally be unreasonable, and I struggle explaining myself to people on the stances I choose. I intended to promote debate, not to hurt people, nor to victim blame, nor to erase @spacecrone as a victim. I apologise to you, if my words were poorly formed enough to make you think so, and while it galls me slightly to do so. I still thank you for your response, and for pointing out where I had erased her.
@Cleea
I think I said, numerous times that I believe her, that I do not think she is lying, and I believe regardless of my question on presumption of innocence, that Mr. Faraci is in the wrong, and his victim, deserves to be listened to, and beleived. But I can see where in my stance, and with my question, I did in fact, attempt to cast doubt on her words. That was wrong, and I apologise to her, and I thank you for pointing it out. It was not my intention, and I will do better. That was the intent of my comment, was to learn how to be better.
@Ohlmann.
Thank you for your words and advice on personal forgiveness versus societal forgiveness. It was helpful.
@Tragedy of the Commas
You are correct, I cannot defend Mr. Faraci. That is why I did not try to defend him. I personally consider what he has done, to be vile, and hurtful, and deserving of punishment, and shunning. I do not think I was asking anyone to feel sorry for the molester. But I can see where it may have been construed as such, and as such I apologise for that. I framed my questions poorly. I appreciate your second paragraph, calling into question the problem I was trying to bring forth, in that, well everyone is basically guilty, and where is the line? But I do not think I was attempting to put Faraci into that zone. That part of the line is damn clear, you don’t sexually assault, or interfere with anybody for any reason.
To answer your final question, I don’t think it should, I was provoking a question of when we as a community forgive someone, compared to when we, as individuals choose to forgive someone, if ever. And attempting to gain better insight myself, as to how to answer that question, because I struggle with it. None the less I thank you for your points, and for helping me understand why my framing was so poor.
@Brony, Social Justice Cenobite
@Fred the dog
I saw your comments and while they did not address me, I thank you both, for them.
I do apologise to those who I have offended, and I thank those who took the time to give me genuine responses I could use to improve myself, and my comments. I am appreciative to you all for that. But. There is one more person.
@Ariblester
I, don’t know how to respond to you, or your assertions. So I will do so directly in bullet points.
*Trying to learn how to better defend my own positions, and to reply positively to people who challenge those positions. I can see this is not the place to do that.
*I don’t think I defended him, I don’t think I even tried to. I think I made it clear that I consider his actions awful, and that I hoped his victims would know peace.
*This is not some kind of social experiment, though there was a call for introspection. It was a genuine attempt to reach out and ask questions, because I didn’t know, and sought to improve.
In closing, I apologise if I offended you personally, or caused you grief with my very malformed statements. I can see where I have offended many unintentionally, and can also see where I have made a mistake in where I chose to ask these questions. I’m new, and I’m not exactly welcome most places I go. I think everyone can see why.
But with that said, I cannot thank you for your reply.
@Tragedy
Thank you! But I’ve finished my bottle and it’s one in the morning, so the universe is probably telling me something.
@Alan
I agree that we don’t need to find a negative effect for men, for patriarchy to be bad (crappy outcomes for women should be sufficient). But, as I’m at the radical end of the feminist wing, and can see negatives for men all over the shop, I’m happy to point them out regardless. Not least because most of them (you aren’t allowed to cry or wear pink, you aren’t allowed to want to join the caring professions, “toxic masculinity”) aren’t even on the MRA’s radar (yuck, those are girly things, that would make me gay – and not in a leather-clad muscle-bound way). I’m not going to cite them as recruitment fodder, because I think you’re right; any man not signed up because of the effect on women, who signs up because of the effect on men, maybe we need to take a look at. Maybe a supplementary pamphlet?
I just finished reading two books on gender, though, so it’s at the top of my mind.
I think you need to return to first principles. Why do you think this needs debate? What is there to be debated, and what is to be gained from doing so? Is it appropriate to jump into a group of strangers, a nonzero number of whom will have experienced sexual assault personally, and try to provoke them into debate? Again, what is to be gained by this, and is it worth the cost? (do you even realize that there is a cost?)
There’s an immense degree of privilege inherent in the position that we should take an intellectual, 30,000-foot perspective of topics like sexual assault and not in any way acknowledge how a topic like that can affect us personally. Not everyone has enough emotional distance from this topic to do that. People who don’t have enough emotional distance are not intellectually inferior, and their arguments are not invalid for being made from a position of emotion. Only people who have never been sexually assaulted, and furthermore don’t live in any kind of fear of being sexually assaulted in the future, have the privilege of treating a topic like that as a fun debate.
I don’t know if you intended to convey that you wanted to make a fun debate out of sexual assault, but you are. “Promote further reflection”? What made you think that we were insufficiently reflective prior to your contribution? “Reflection” implies a kind of zen introspection, which is not something that a person recalling a past sexual assault should be shamed for not doing.
I hope you stick around for a while and improve your self-actualization.
@NotABul
Swing and a miss, but I’m far too tired to get into it. Suffice to say ‘sorry for the miscommunication’ when your word choice wasn’t the problem gets the side eye…
Notabrul,
I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt that you are here in good faith. For now anyway. But in the future, if you wanted to know how to respond to the argument that a tepid apology is good enough for immediate forgiveness, you could have just asked “does anyone have advice on how to respond to the people who think Faraci’s tepid apology is good enough for immediate forgiveness?” As opposed to making a Devil’s advocate argument. Devil’s advocacy is the kind of tactic trolls often use and when it comes to a subject as serious as sexual assault, the Devil does not need any advocates.
Not to overuse a saying, but if you fuck a pig ironically, you’re still a pig fucker. If you come on here arguing for forgiveness as Devil’s Advocate, you’re still coming in here and arguing that a bunch of feminists just need to chill out and cut the guy who sexually assaulted a woman some slack.
That’s all I have the energy for right now. This thread has been draining. I’m gonna play some Stardew Valley.
@IP, Kupo: I am sorry that what I posted was ‘holier than thou’. I was attempting to discuss the topic of forgiveness, not tell anyone how to handle traumas I’ve never experienced, and certainly not trying to imply that any of you are ‘doing it wrong’.
If anyone is still interested in discussing the whole concept of forgiveness, I’m game for a little bit more. To me, it appears that the thread has moved on from that point, however.
Let me know.
Please note: I’m not ignoring the two pages of comment thread posted since I went to work this morning. I’m just massively underqualified to contribute anything beyond what the regulars have already said.
For anyone who needs kitty hugs
http://66.media.tumblr.com/adc9c548d31218f729d4416510c76bc1/tumblr_mvgbyuzvcn1slewofo1_500.gif
@WWTH: That’s beautiful. Thank you.
aww, they look like my kitties when they were itty bitty. thank you.
I’ll just side with other comments here. Innocent until proven guilty is for the courts. The rest of us make up our own minds. Personally I’ll go for #ibelieveher.
@Paradoxical – so sorry you have had to live with things that I cannot even imagine.
@Alan : people can do something both in self interest *and* because it’s the right thing to do. I think it’s a good idea to explain that feminism isn’t just a white knight thing, but a practical point of view. Just like anti-racism from white isn’t just a way to feel morally superior but a way to have a more peaceful society.
In fact, things who are right to do tend to be beneficial too. Morality isn’t an abstract idea people have created by randomly adding sentences ; it’s a collection of way to have a better society, which mean it benefit everyone in it.
(to a lesser extent, it also work for religion. A lot of seemingly arbitrary religious obligation, who aren’t moral tenets, are based on practical ideas who benefit everyone, or at least did when they were added. Think the ban on pork for muslims for a well known example)
I’m not entirely sure how to not word-salad my thoughts here but I’ll give it a shot.
I feel like I am seeing this more and more lately where instead of the typical denial, people accused of assault or rape will actually admit it (usually blaming alcohol or drugs somehow) and apologize. They feel awful and they will totally get help. Cool. I’m glad when people take responsibility for shit they have done! I think for some people this is all they want or expect, even though they are not the victim. Some folks think it is water under the bridge. So when other people are still upset and grossed out by it, its like HAS THIS MAN NOT SUFFERED ENOUGH?! Even though, they committed an actual fucking crime and won’t have to face any legal consequences, they said they were sorry! Geeeez, ladies.
I recall they covered a story exactly like this on The Black Guy Who Tips podcast that had me rolling my eyes. Nate Parker too in a way. He did that interview where he said all the good buzzwords and acted like he knew the error of his ways, and when he didn’t get immediate praise and forgiveness he went back to being a petulant shit about the whole thing.
See? Word salad! I just hope this doesn’t become some trend where people feel comfortable admitting to crimes on social media, offering some penance of “therapy” or whatever, and then expecting everyone collectively to forgive and forget. Or even think they are very brave for admitting that they are a damn rapist. Hope this makes one iota of sense.
@notabul
I think you shouldn’t keep repeating saying that you were “just playing the Devil’s Advocate” like that, because it can easily start sounding like you are trying to tell people they aren’t allowed to be offended with you “’cause you didn’t mean it like that” and they just understood it wrong. It might also start to smell like an excuse to just say whatever, kinda like “Just joking, sorry (not sorry) that you don’t have a sense of humor”. Besides, reading it several times like that felt kinda awkward and redundant…
Also, hello everyone, long time lurker here! 😀
Hello Valkyrine!
@EJ (The Orphic Lizard) Thanks! (or should I rather say “a pleasure to meet you”?…)
Anyway, I’ve got a small question about the code of conduct to people here, but since it’s way off topic, feel free to ignore it… So, how old do you think a post/the last comment made on that post can be that participating on that comment sector wouldn’t be considered necro-ing? Is there any kind of guideline to this?
So, like I said no need to answer me, I’d just like to know, and sorry to bother you guys. ^^’