After that now infamous tape of Donald Trump boasting about grabbing women’s private parts came out on Friday, film critic Devin Faraci — a self-described feminist and one of the more aggressive opponents of GamerGate — took to Twitter to excoriate Trump’s abominable remarks.
Then this happened:
In a series of tweets, @spacecrone told the whole story:
The accusation stopped Faraci in his tracks. He didn’t quite admit that it was true, but he also kind of did. And he asked for forgiveness for something he said he couldn’t remember doing.
This was on Sunday. Today, Faraci resigned as Editor-In-Chief of Birth.Movies.Death, saying:
This weekend allegations were made about my past behavior. Because I take these types of claims seriously I feel my only honorable course of action is to step down from my position as Editor-in-Chief of Birth.Movies.Death. I will use the coming weeks and months to work on becoming a better person who is, I hope, worthy of the trust and loyalty of my friends and readers.
He still hasn’t quite admitted to anything, but @spacecrone says she’s heartened that Faraci seems sincere in his contrition.
“I am really happy that it sounds like Devin is interested in getting help about this, and I’m open to any accountability processing that might be part of his treatment,” she told Variety.
I really hope this can be a moment of self-interrogation for all of us, myself included, about the ways we might use positions of power to silence people, and the ways we all turn away from things that might seem a little too complicated to deal with.
Faraci’s alleged assault is more proof (as if we needed any) that being on the “right side” on the issues — in Faraci’s case, taking on GamerGaters, calling for greater representation of women in the movie business, and so forth — does not automatically make you a good person. (Hugo Schwyzer, anyone?)
As it turns out (as it so often turns out) plenty of people — and not just GamerGaters — have been pointing out seriously assholish language (and behavior) from Faraci for some time. In the wake of @spacecrone’s accusation, writer and Bibliodaze co-editor @Ceilidhann set forth some of her issues with Faraci on Twitter:
Devin Faraci sexually assaults women, tries to goad people into suicide & cyber-stalks basically everyone but sure, fandom is the problem.
— Kayleigh Donaldson (@Ceilidhann) October 9, 2016
Honestly, the continuing silence over his years of bullying & attacks on this site & elsewhere make this round utterly unsurprising. https://t.co/ewLVAUxjoN
— Kayleigh Donaldson (@Ceilidhann) October 10, 2016
(By “this site” she means Twitter.)
Faraci's bullying & misogyny were blatantly clear to everyone for a long time & many still harboured him at the expense of those he hurt.
— Kayleigh Donaldson (@Ceilidhann) October 10, 2016
Naturally, the Gamergaters, have seized on Faraci’s alleged sexual assault as an excuse to attack, well, the same women they always attack.
It took less than an hour for my tweets on D*vin F*raci to be used by GG/MRAs as an excuse to attack Anita Sarkeesian & SJWs. Typical.
— Kayleigh Donaldson (@Ceilidhann) October 9, 2016
Because of course.
H/T — The Daily Dot, NYMag, GamerGhazi
@runsinbackgruond
I disagree. I feel like you are proposing a pre-Hajj Malcolm X “ourselves alone” approach to fixing prejudice. In Malcolm’s case, it was racism, and it was after he saw the way that people across the world from various ethnic backgrounds and very diverse cultures could co-exist for a common cause that he de-militarized and began to be open to earnest efforts from whites to assist in the de-segregation of America and the institution of civil rights.
I think suggesting that all men are inherently unable to participate in the feminist dialogue is suggesting that this is something that ought to be done by women and women alone. I get that there is a rather large amount of mansplaining that happens on a daily basis in this country and in many countries around the world, but this doesn’t suggest that all men are the problem or are invalidated from fighting for the cause as allies. As a man, it is right and good to speak up in defense of our friends, loved ones, co-workers, etc. who are women. It is NOT right to OVERspeak them. I.e. if a woman is already making a stand for herself, it is wrong to undermine her self-assertion by playing White Knight and trying to “come to her rescue” because she’s a grown-ass woman and can take care of saving herself.
But if a woman is beleaguered and flagging under a morass of trolling and harassment, it strikes me as unconscionable to “sit my ass down and listen” when simply by voicing my criticism of this behavior I can deflect at least some portion of the harassment she is receiving on to myself, thereby offering her some reprieve.
So there is a balance that must be struck here. We cannot sit on our hands and let women do it because that necessarily slows down the process because fewer people are speaking up and speaking out. But we also MUST fight the urge to be ‘magic-bullet salesmen’ who have the Best And Most Perfect Solution to the problem because of all our manliness and shit.
My opinion–and you may of course feel free to reject it–is that men should be allies to women. We should indeed listen to women, but we must then take what we learn from listening and act upon it in order to drive change and progress in society.
In short, you are absolutely correct that we are the privileged class, especially if we’re cishet males, and doubly especially if we’re cishet and white males. If we are willing to sit back and do nothing because we are concerned we might get in the way of feminism, we are inherently abusing our privilege because women do not HAVE the luxury of privilege that makes sitting back and doing nothing a possibility.
If we are at the point where we have awakened to the reality of our privilege, I believe we have a moral imperative to USE that privilege in order to benefit those who do not have access to any such privilege. This should be done not out of pity or condescension, but because it is morally bankrupt not to do so because it leaves 50% of our fellow humans locked in a very shitty status quo of rape culture, cat calling, sexual assault, body shaming, etc.
So I think we must fundamentally reject your suggestion while also fundamentally reject the idea that men should lead the charge. As is so often the case in life, the middle ground is a better path forward because it balances the stark reality of the situation with the idealism of trying to change the status quo.
@runsinbackground – I think you gotta lot of valid points, actually. I don’t think what you said is transphobic, I understood your point. I don’t think you said that individuals from privileged groups WILL betray less privileged groups they’re allied to, but yeah – I think they’re always a bit suspect. Because loss of privilege is a real loss – not a loss you necessarily deserve to be protected from, but nonetheless a real loss.
For example, poverty, I’m against that – and the crushing poverty in developing countries – that’s awful. But I’m a middle-class, reasonably well-educated, white woman in the West. Global income equality? Sounds good, but even though I’m stressed about money right now (super, super, super stressed) I’m not willing to earn just the global average income ($10,000) – I mean that doesn’t sound like a good deal to me – even though a big part of the (but not the only) reason I earn the income I do is because of advantages of birth and circumstance. If someone were to start redistributing my income much more than it is already then I’d be not cool with that. And yeah, you better believe I’d fight to keep my income, partly for pure selfishness but partly to confer advantage to my son and provide him a comfortable existence.
And even if there might be possible gains, like less strife in the world, those are possible advantages rather cast iron guaranteed will-be-delivered advantages. Plus how do I know you’re not just gonna take my income and the income of a hapless few while other people get to keep theirs?
Where it’s super easy to trust allies is where they have nothing to lose. For example, marriage equality. I’m straight. I personally do not believe I have anything to lose by gay people getting married. For me the only possible ‘loss’ is forking out for wedding gifts, but I get to celebrate with my friends. Plus I gain the warm feelings of knowing my friends (and other people) feel more respected and valued in society and that it’s just plain old the ‘right thing to do’. But if I could potentially lose my job for taking a stand on that… I’m not sure I could be trusted. I think I could be trusted not to do anything actively harmful, but would I stand up for it? (I did actually lose a job for taking a stand against homophobia…so maybe I can be, but I didn’t have a mortgage and a kid then and it was a really shit job.)
Some men – I think – genuinely don’t perceive they have much to lose by treating women equally, but others do. As we know, they really, really, really do! But even losing the privilege of acting like a jerk toward women and getting away with it, is frankly, a bit of a loss. That’s gotta be a nice perk.
Mels,
I expect a smug Judgybitch post using that map to prove she was right that women shouldn’t be allowed to vote any minute now. If there’s not one up already.
Really thought, what did Trump fan boys expect? I guess they’re so deluded in their red pill thinking that they thought woman voters would be aroused by Trump’s alpha asshole behavior. Nope! It turns out women aren’t lying when we say we prefer to be treated like human beings.
For the avoidance of doubt, I sometimes wonder about my own motivation for being a feminist. These days, I wonder if it’s just that I really want to be thought of as a dangerous subversive.
But then I remember that, until I was 18, I thought people who weren’t a feminist had clearly not thought about the issue. Then I went to university and met people who were clearly intelligent and thoughtful, but had still managed to come to an alternative conclusion. So I used to think I was normal. I’m only a dangerous subversive in comparison. Not sure if that’s better or worse.
Aaaaand Jessica Valenti says #repealthe19th is now trending. Great. Awesome.
@kupo
So true. :p
@Ohlmann
I rolled a 2. *shrug*
Free nudes for all
http://i374.photobucket.com/albums/oo188/dhag85/Mobile%20Uploads/20160719_002642_zpsiwlyyk8s.jpg
Hiya, newbies, I’m Axe! I’m usually nice! Welcome packages on the right
@Petal
Holy…
http://i.makeagif.com/media/4-06-2015/6gI2zO.gif
?
@Axe
I know! That USA wunderbaum is pretty striking.
@ Mels
wow… just… wow. Admittedly, I was raised leftist by leftists and I’ve kept a very pinko circle of friends most of my life… but in the absence of a RAFT of ingrained bigotry, I don’t see why anyone would vote for that man. People… uhh… shit, these are MY people, cis-het, white men… so f***ing deluded. He’s going to fill his pockets and run, just like he’s always done. Who the F**K do they think he’s gonna leave HOLDING THE BAG??? Oh, hell, I’m gonna go to sleep, wake me when it’s November 8th…. 🙁
@wwth
A lot of them (like my gross father) are in their own little bubble re: polls, only going by the unscientific right wing ones and seeing the WOMEN FOR TRUMP signs that have been in the front of his rallies; I wonder how many of them are genuinely surprised at women’s disdain. I would bet quite a few…
@Petal
Yep. And the fuckin wall! What is that, eggshell?
@Imaginary Petal
Nice beard!
@Axe
It’s ice. I live in an igloo.
@Brony
Ooh, thanks.
@IP
Lookin’ good! Not unlike my husband, actually 🙂
@Dalillama
Thanks, you inspired me. :p We should all have nudes on the internet, really. It’s how the future will be.
Something about thinking of cis male feminists as somehow separate from trans male feminists was really not sitting right with me and I’ve just figured out why after a couple of hours. I’m not sure I’m the best one to be discussing the issue as a cis person so feel free to tell me if I’m talking out of my ass here.
Yes it’s true that cis men are more privileged than trans men. It’s also true that most trans men have presented as women or girls at some point in life and therefore may have a better idea than cis men of how women are treated because people who didn’t know they were men would’ve treated them as women.
The problem is, that line of thinking is dangerously close to how TERFs view trans women who are feminists. They say that being AMAB, they are or were treated like men and don’t really for real understand how women are treated and therefore can’t be real feminists.
I think saying trans men are more capable of being good feminists because they’re AFAB is kind of TERF-like.
@weirwoodtreehugger
with your comment, I think I finally understand JudgyBitch’s anti voting thing. It’s really just because she doesn’t like the outcome. Well, that’s not democracy, is it…
Although I’m from one of the states where even if only women voted, Trump would still win… that I do not understand.
(article on gender differences in voting intention – with very cool maps)
@wwth
I’ve been thinking about related things before. TERFs would say that trans women aren’t women and can’t understand what it’s like to be a woman. The problem that I find with this view is that there isn’t one “the woman experience”. While there are things that all or most or many women will have experienced, or have a special understanding of, women are individuals with all kinds of experiences. We do have the Andrea Hardies of the world, after all.
I’ve sort of settled for the conclusion that of course trans women’s experiences on average will be different from cis women’s experiences on average, just like how black women’s experiences on average will be different from white women’s experiences on average (or any other subcategory of women). All these groups of women have unique insights into women’s experiences, and all individual women may have blind spots. The mistake TERFs make is assuming their specific experience is the default, or the “one true woman’s experience”.
@Imaginary Petal
That’s a gorgeous beard, by the way! 🙂 As a fellow beardy person, I salute you. Also, that fir tree air freshener is stylish.
@Dalillama
Yeah, my bad. I forgot how eager people apparently are to make themselves into farcical villains.
@Ohlmann
There’s my problem – I keep rolling more sixes.
@Weatherwax
Since we’re talking abstract personal motivations… aside from anything else, I wonder about the state of my moral fibre. I’m not a particularly religious person, and maybe I’ll never be called to account for living in – and, more often than not, benefiting from – such an unjust society – but it’s not something I want to get away with, you know?
A couple of ‘consideradtions’ (I don’t think they amount to ‘problems’ or ‘issues’, just things to think about) I have with the ‘patriarchy hurts men’ thing.
Firstly I completely understand that that’s certainly true for a lot of men, especially those who don’t fit into or don’t want to fit into traditional gender stereotypes
However, I think sometimes it ends up almost as a selling point for feminism to men. I can understand appeals to self interest. But, to me, it almost detracts from what I believe is the only real justification for supporting feminism, that it’s just the right thing to do.
The idea of highlighting that there’s a ‘reward’ element for men seems a bit off to me. Like when people sell the idea of being good because it gets you a place in heaven rather than that’s how decent humans should behave anyway regardless of consequences.
It also strikes me at times a bit like “Let’s take a moment to remember the forgotten victims of slavery, plantation owners.”
It’s almost like (SM especially) guys have to muscle in on everything. Like we can’t acknowledge that for once this isn’t about us. We don’t face oppression, but it can seem like people are trying to bring ‘what about the men?’ arguments even into blooming feminism.
Please don’t think I’m having a dig at folks, especially women, who point out how patriarchy can affect men. It’s just that I (and I stress this is just a personal view) think that if there’s one aspect of feminism that should take a back seat, it’s this one.
Hope that makes some sense?
@runsinbackground
Comment policy states
Axe is only stating the rules that are already in place for these comment threads.
@weirwoodtreehugger
It’s an interesting thought. Trans men and cis men are both men, even as they experience the world differently (e.g. one group experiences transphobia and the other does not). But do you think it’s possible to acknowledge those differences, and the privilege that a cis man has that a trans man does not, without slipping down the slope of transphobic ideology? Or am I failing to understand what you mean? I do agree that saying trans men are inherently or “more capable” of being “good” feminists is a very TERF way of thinking.
@weatherwax
I think you hit the nail on the head. It’s just a label and it can mean a lot. TERFs, for example, are feminists. One could easily respond to a statement like, “I’m a feminist” with “yes, and?” As you say, the, hopefully productive, conversation after matters more.
So, clearly the wine is good for your clarity of mind. Drink more!
@Alan
No, you’ve got a point. I know you weren’t directly addressing me or that I brought it up in my takedown of runsinbackground ‘s comments. But even while it’s a true thing to say, it can be…overhyped? Overemphasized? On social media, what’s often discussed is whether the “it hurts men too” argument is given much more prominence over other topics and issues. More importantly, that it can or does put men’s issues over women’s in an area where women are supposed to have the focus. Like you were saying.
@Diptych
But you are being called to account for it all the time, right here among other places. That’s kind of the reason sites like this exist.
See that’s the thing; there’s only 2 ‘benefits’ that you really get from society being unjust: the first is that you’re personally not oppressed (on that axis), which benefit will continue to accrue when nobody’s oppressed on that axis, and secondly the opportunity to participate actively in oppressing others, which no decent person would want.
@IP
=^_^= Thank you.
@ runsinbackground
Excuse me?
Wow. In all the time I’ve been frequenting feminist websites, this is only the second time someone has said something like this. It isn’t on. I’m male and a feminist (or feminist ally depending on one’s preferred terminology and view) and I don’t ask anyone to ‘trust’ me. I don’t ask anyone to forgive me for sexist actions. I don’t ask anyone to give me something in return. Same for many.
If that is how you describe feminism, I like your description. I agree. However, saying things like ‘never trust a male feminist’ does not fit this at all. I can’t suggest much in the way of things that will ‘help’ either, but I can still agree when female feminists do so. I can still say ‘this is what feminists think, and I listened and I agree.’ I can still say ‘female feminists tell me that this experience they had was _____, and so their solution sounds like a good one.’ I can also say ‘what can I do to help?’
You’d also have to address transgender people to fit your view- if a person is male, but is soon to have the operation, what would you say about the perspective of the feminine then?
I’d also ask what is feminine? What are you defining as feminine?
Please don’t generalise. Some people crossdress for fun, so they can ‘put on and take off.’ For many others, though, it is indeed a part of who they are. It is part of identity for some people. For others, it has different but deep implications for their own mind.
Um, so?
I hope you aren’t saying that because supporting feminism reduces my ‘own class priviledges’ that it cannot be understood why I would do so? What understanding is needed? Personally, if I have unfair advantage, I don’t really want such advantages. There shouldn’t need to be a further understanding of that then ‘it is the right thing to do.’
You can’t always. What you can do, however, is treat allies like allies, rather than having them under constant suspicion, until they reveal to you some sort of evidence that they aren’t a good ally or even an ally at all. Otherwise, and this is just my opinion and may not invoke the same feelings in other allies of various movements, that is going to create bad feeling rather than helping. I would never stop trying to do something within a movement because someone was untrusting of me, but it would subconsciously affect the quality and even quantity of my work. That might not make a difference in the grand scheme of things, or even at all, but at least I’ll have achieved more if someone wasn’t completely suspicious of me.
Then you shouldn’t even be on this site really. David is male, he’s a feminist ally, and if you think he should shut up then you don’t agree with this site’s existence. I may be missing something here.
No, but I can see that he believes in certain ideals, and I can see he wants to share that with others. It certainly helped me to become more involved in feminism. Perhaps one day he will do something or say something that makes me think ‘hang on a minute, this doesn’t really seem to chime with what female feminists say their experiences are,’ but one shouldn’t, in my opinion, always distrust him because, on the off chance, he may say something that fundamentally is wrong.
You are also a hypocrite. You identify as male, and are telling us your opinions on feminism, those opinions being that male human beings shouldn’t give their opinion. It literally makes no sense. I was trying to figure out who this reminded me of- those anti-feminist women who think that women shouldn’t be in politics, who are women giving their opinion on politics.
You don’t get to just give us a one-line non-apology and be done with it. You have dictated, nay, mansplained to numerous people on here what feminism should be, and your opinion on what feminism should allow strikes me as being repulsive.