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Alt-Right pickup artist Heartiste attacks “cuck f***ot” Paul Ryan for condemning Trump

Trump "apologizes"
Trump “apologizes”

Embattled presidential candidate/sexual predator Donald Trump told the Wall Street Journal this morning that there is “zero chance” that he’ll be dropping out of the race, because “the support I’m getting is unbelievable.”

Some of the most unbelievable support is coming from a longtime fan of his known on the Internet as Heartiste — an extravagantly hateful pickup artist very familiar to readers of this blog.

In one blog post (archived here), Heartiste defends the creepily predatory comments Trump made before making a cameo appearance on a soap opera a decade ago as “fratty sex talk ” that expressed a deep truth about the nature of female desire. “Trump is right,” Heartiste asserts.

Fame Game is the most powerful aphrodisiac a man can unleash in the world of women. I’ve no doubt actresses on that soap opera eagerly welcomed Trump’s inquisitive probings.

As thoroughly icky as this is, it’s just the warmup.

In a second and even more over-the-top blog post (archived here), Heartiste again defends Trump’s hot-mic comments about grabbing women “by the p***y” as “normal healthy heterosexual male banter,” then launches a bizarrely homophobic rant against Paul Ryan, whom Heartiste denounces as the “world’s most craven, gutless, cuck f***ot piece of quisling shit” for daring to criticize Heartiste’s idol.

Heartiste’s prose is generally pretty overheated, but he’s really outdone himself with this post. It’s probably the most over-the-top political rant you’ll read all year.

Here’s a sample paragraph, which I have lightly censored out of respect for all that is good and true in this world:

There is no end to the ways in which this phoneyf*ck indignation reveals the full rainbow-facialed glory hole degeneracy of Cuck Ryan’s flaccid testosterone deficient soul. It’s the schoolmarmish finger wagging equivalent of a ravished sphincter bleeding torrents of AIDS. You’re a weak sack of shit Ryan. I could carve a better man out of Jeb. Carl the Cuck laughs at you. Amanjaw marc*ntte has bigger balls, you mincing bugeyed c**lapping pink dumbbell lifting nutless retard buttplug convention kiosk operator.

Heartiste could really use a refresher course on the correct use of hyphens.

Elsewhere in the post, Heartiste invites Ryan to kill himself,  suggests that he has been searching the internet for “anal fissure cream,” and informs him that

[b]eing born with a vagina doesn’t automatically qualify one for championing, but I can see why in your stunted betaf*g mind the glorious golden gash is a mystical religious symbol up there with the Shroud of Turin.

Heartiste also dismisses Ryan’s home state as “Wiscucksin,” and ends his post with a picture of a hangman’s noose — which is either a reference to his earlier comments about suicide, or a death threat directed at a sitting politician.

So, yeah, that happened.

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OoglyBoggles
OoglyBoggles
3 years ago

I should be mad, on the other hand I already know that Trump will most likely curse out Hillary and his brand has been so muck ridden no one will want anything to do with him, combined with the fact that to many conservatives, violating the “noble protector of women” doctrine is beyond taboo gives me enough peace to know that this trainwreck has yet to completely crash.

My retort Heartiste: Ha. Ha. Ha.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
3 years ago

I feel bad for Ryan. He is still an asshole, but nobody should ever have to put up with that.

Sadly, I don’t think Ryan will learn the lesson about what happen when you stock the fires of hatred.

JS
JS
3 years ago

Ryan kinda reminds me of those “Sad Puppies” who started trying to get out from under the hate that is Theodore Beale and Rabid Puppies once they accepted what he really was. They were happy to get the additional votes, but then when everyone with enough brains started yelling at them for supporting such things… “We didn’t know what he was” was a common refrain. Sure you didn’t, because you didn’t dare look critically.

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
3 years ago

A horrible person verbally assaulting another horrible person because they aren’t the right sort of horrible?

Quelle surprise.

Needs to be some kinda asshole-classification system. FDA-Approved A-Grade assholes over here.

davidknewton
3 years ago

…Convention kiosk operator?

RosieLa
RosieLa
3 years ago

I wonder if Ryan is enough of a critical thinker to be able to see his hopes and dreams swirling down the drain.

EJ (The Orphic Lizard)

Did James “Heartiste” Weidmann genuinely think, even for a second, that Paul Ryan was a sincere ally? If so, why? Does he not understand how grown-up politics works?

You might want to sit down, Weidmann, I’ve got some bad news to break to you.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
3 years ago

Fame Game is the most powerful aphrodisiac a man can unleash in the world of women

How the fuck is being famous a ‘game’? Also, releasing powerful aphrodisiacs in the world isn’t sexy. It’s cartoon villainy

Trump’s inquisitive probings

Eww…

normal healthy heterosexual male banter

“Healthy heterosexual male” is apparently synonymous with “entitled sexual predator”. And who’re the misandrists again?

rainbow-facialed glory hole degeneracy

Pussy Riots opening act?

bleeding torrents of AIDS

Read a book

c**lapping

As an insult. And I don’t think he’s criticizing technique…

Being born with or without a vagina or any set of genitals doesn’t automatically qualify one for championing or demonizing

FTFY

glorious golden gash

Heartiste: grumpy gormless garbage

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo

I should find this offensive, but I just laughed and thought about how delicious alt-right tears are.

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
3 years ago

rainbow-facialed glory hole

My band name

EJ (The Orphic Lizard)

I read “bleeding torrents of AIDS” in the sense of peer-to-peer download torrents, and then did a double-take. It’s strange how language changes.

Also, I am a horribly musically ungifted person, but I would totally be a roadie for a band called Rainbow-Facialed Glory Hole.

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
3 years ago

Yeah no. No sympathy for Ryan.

OoglyBoggles
OoglyBoggles
3 years ago

I give no pity for Ryan.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
3 years ago

@ EJ

Also, I am a horribly musically ungifted person, but I would totally be a roadie

Within the roadie community musical ability is very much frowned upon and regarded with suspicion. You’re either production or product. The only people who have successfully managed to keep respect in both camps are Madonna and Lemmy from Motorhead.

Paradoxical Intention - Mobile
Paradoxical Intention - Mobile
3 years ago

I can’t even really be offended because at this point Heartsie’s just throwing out words.

It’s like the insult equivalent of keyboard smashing.

Iseult The Idle
Iseult The Idle
3 years ago

Mmm, delicious, rejuvenating tears.

MitchtgeCub314
MitchtgeCub314
3 years ago

I think kiosk convention operator is meant to invoke *gasp* The Jews.

I have no idea why I think that through but seems.

ZugTheMegasaurus
ZugTheMegasaurus
3 years ago

This is straight out of that South Park episode where they just write the grossest, most vulgarity-filled book possible. Except nobody’s going to pay attention to Heartiste’s version.

Moggie
Moggie
3 years ago

It’s like somone throwing thesaurus confetti in a wind tunnel.

We’ve got a month more of this? I’m not sure I’ll make it.

Laugher at Bigots
Laugher at Bigots
3 years ago

You mincing bugeyed c**lapping pink dumbbell lifting nutless retard buttplug convention kiosk operator.

Heartiste seems to be channelling the Frenchman in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Is Paul Ryan also an “empty-headed animal-food-trough-wiper”? Does Heartiste fart in his general direction? Paul Ryan is a white ka-nigget!

Seven of Mine
Seven of Mine
3 years ago

The “best” part of this for me is that Ryan’s statement is misogynistic in its own way. Women are not to be revered and championed; we’re to be treated like human beings which is the opposite of pretty much everything Paul Ryan has ever done politically.

littleknown
littleknown
3 years ago

There are better barometers of the fact that Trump is losing, but the increasing viciousness and desperation coming from his most fervent supporters is not a bad one.

Weatherwax
Weatherwax
3 years ago

To quote a certain Hillary Clinton, “Wow. Ok.”

Moggie
Moggie
3 years ago

Weatherwax:

To quote a certain Hillary Clinton, “Wow. Ok.”

http://i.giphy.com/26uf5YvN8Td27IrFm.gif

Banananana dakry
Banananana dakry
3 years ago

Having been to Wisconsin and done quite a lot of traveling/ vacationing/ tourism there back when I was a Flatlander down south, I really take exception to Heartiste insulting it like that.

Despite some of the residents’ (and it sure as hell isn’t all of ’em) questionable tastes in politicians, Wisconsin is an awesome state to see and I love Madison, Door County, and the landscape. If you have gotta insult the state, Heartsie, at least be creative and don’t use the angry manbaby equivalent of “poopiehead”. Sheesh.

PS: Even the questionable taste in politicians bit has no moral superiority, because I hail from a state where I’m starting to think we should just throw our governors in prison at the start of their terms and save us some time and money. 😛

Fishy Goat
Fishy Goat
3 years ago

Heartiste’s twin:

http://i.imgur.com/A56GCtS.gif

Bina
3 years ago

Fame Game is the most powerful aphrodisiac a man can unleash in the world of women. I’ve no doubt actresses on that soap opera eagerly welcomed Trump’s inquisitive probings.

“Inquisitive probings”???

“Probings”???

EWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

And no, Wiedmann, you fucking idiot, “Fame Game” isn’t a real thing. Just because someone is famous, doesn’t mean everyone else automatically wants to do him. If he’s “famous” for being an asshole and a boor, you’d be surprised how many women can’t wait to get as much distance as they can between himself and whatever parts of them he’s trying to “inquisitively probe”!

calmdown
calmdown
3 years ago

The funny thing is: from what I got the tapes, his main tale was about how he FAILED to bang this married lady. So he didn’t even succeed by PUA standards. He just comes off as gross AND desperate, not “Alpha” in any way.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
3 years ago

“Convention kiosk operator” makes me think of the so-called “booth babes,” which makes me think that maybe the insult is “YOU’RE A WOMAN.”

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
3 years ago

@calmdown

gross AND desperate, not “Alpha” in any way

Since I learned about these dudes, nothing has been more revolting to me than the fact that ‘Alpha’ actually means gross and desperate. Tho, I guess the fact that they don’t realize it is a little worse still…

Weird (not wired) Eddie
Weird (not wired) Eddie
3 years ago

nutless retard buttplug convention kiosk operator

…. now THAT’S prose!!! (\s\)

To be honest, I agree on one point, tho

“the support I’m getting is unbelievable.”

I’ve NEVER been able to believe the support Trumpf has gotten :0

calmdown
calmdown
3 years ago

‘Alpha’ actually means gross and desperate

Yeah, I think they are confusing “confidence” with “lack of shame and boundaries” (as usual).

not Ian
not Ian
3 years ago

I think “convention kiosk operator” is in there to indicate that, yes, he was at the Republican National Convention, but not in a position of any relevance, or something?

(Also, is there an asterisk missing in “c**lapping”, or am I misinterpreting the intended meaning?)

History Nerd
History Nerd
3 years ago

Trump is arguably the worst major-party US presidential candidate after the 1880’s at least. He makes Nixon look like a really good president.

not Ian
not Ian
3 years ago

And, regarding the true meaning of “Alpha”: In German, “alpha male” is “Alpha-Männchen”. The word “Männchen” is formed from “Mann” (man) and the suffix “-chen”, which is a diminuitive. A “Männchen” is a little man.

(Also, while “Mann” is, unsurprisingly, a masculine word, everything with the “-chen” suffix becomes neuter.)

When I hear the term “alpha male”, I’m always wondering whether that’s the biggest of the little men or the smallest of the little men.

Handsome "Punkle Stan" Jack

comment image

I have moderate sympathy because, like, not a fan of people telling others to kill themselves, TBH, but also, like, Heartwhatever is a nobody and I’m sure Ryan has been told worst, so, yeah.

not Ian
not Ian
3 years ago

I just realized that my last comment was insensitive. I didn’t mean to suggest an association between MRAs and dwarfism, or between dwarfism and ridiculousness, but that’s what I clearly did. I apologize, and I will strife to do better in the future.

Tosca
Tosca
3 years ago

@ not Ian; I read it as “little” in the sense of insufficient, meagre, inferior and mean, not physically small.

Heartiste’s tirade puts me in mind of a garage band with delusions of grandeur, who turn the volume up to 11 with the idea that quantity of sound can make up for their deficiency of skill.

That is a stream of insults with no craft, no skill and no commitment. He has simply written down the worst words he can think of, in the order in which they occurred to him. He called Paul Ryan pink, as an insult? Really? What colour should he be? Where is the alliteration, my friend? Although I will give points for “glorious golden gash”, it is disappointing to learn you can do it and simply choose not to. Where is the variation of the sentence structure to maintain the reader’s interest? The gradual build of intensity toward calling him a cuck? Why are you using the fact that he lifts weights as an insult? I thought lifting was a good thing. Am I confused, or are you?

The whole thing is a warning about the dangers of Interneting while chemically impaired. 1/10.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
3 years ago

Wait, is Heartiste actually These Jinkies Are Zoinked from the period thread? The troll who called us ketchup-spewing heathens and craptastic rhinestone buzzards?

He’s core dumping.

Mortarius
Mortarius
3 years ago

You know it’s funny, very famous and powerful men and women have no shortage of people who would willingly sleep with them. It’s only the famous men from whom these horrible stories of entitlement and assault emerge from.

Croquembouche of patriarchy
Croquembouche of patriarchy
3 years ago

@ Buttercup, These Jinkies… who was also All that Migging…?

I wondered that too. Or maybe ATMAT is just a big fan of Heartiste. But wasn’t Miggy a MGTOW rather than a PUA? How hypocritical. Next we will learn they aren’t a 329 year old engineer, either.

King Mongo
King Mongo
3 years ago

@Scildfreja Unnýðnes,

They’ve already done the classification for us: you’ve got yer alpha assholes, beta assholes, and apparently now there are gamma assholes as well.

JCfromNC
JCfromNC
3 years ago

He called Paul Ryan pink, as an insult? […] Why are you using the fact that he lifts weights as an insult? I thought lifting was a good thing. Am I confused, or are you?

This goes back to David’s statement that he needs to learn the use of hyphens. The insult is that he lifts pink, girly barbells, not Manly Iron ones.

Bina
3 years ago

[b]eing born with a vagina doesn’t automatically qualify one for championing, but I can see why in your stunted betaf*g mind the glorious golden gash is a mystical religious symbol up there with the Shroud of Turin.

Y’know, the more I read of Wiedmann’s inane pontifications on vagina-havers, the more I’m convinced that he’s never seen an actual vulva. Because, y’know, it looks NOTHING like a gash. A mouth, yes, in that both have lips which can be quite protruding, puffy, even pillowy (and PINK!). But a gash? Nuh-unh, stoopid. Not even close. The only way it could “look” that way to anyone is if they believe in the silly old Freudian theory of castration, and the idea that a female is nothing but a male minus the manly bits. But it doesn’t work that way. One does not become female by merely losing a twig and berries. And no, we don’t envy them theirs, either. We have our own equipment. And we are the owners of it, not men.

And no shit, Sherlock, we don’t want or need any more fucking “champions”. We’ll settle for equal treatment from equal partners, colleagues, brothers, what have you, thankyouverymuch. We don’t want to be put on pedestals, because when you’re stuck up there, you can’t move, and we don’t want to be chained to a kitchen sink, either…because, again, you can’t move.

In other words: Both of you bozos need to lose your respective brand of sexism. We are fed up with all of it.

latsot
latsot
3 years ago

@Buttercup:

He’s core dumping.

That is the exact phrase that went through my head, too.

Teaflax
Teaflax
3 years ago

Heartiste could really use a refresher course on the correct use of hyphens.

And the vocative comma. “You’re a weak sack of shit Ryan” means that Ryan is a sack of “shit Ryan”, which I guess is technically true, but still…

Podkayne Lives (Hairless Marsupial Gutter Nun)
Podkayne Lives (Hairless Marsupial Gutter Nun)
3 years ago

“Inquisitive probings”???

“Probings”???

EWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

Is it me, or does that suggest more a curious zoo visitor poking at an armadillo to make it curl up than a masterful man approaching a woman sexually?

LaterSpaceCowboy
LaterSpaceCowboy
3 years ago

@OoglyBoggles

Ah, but you’re forgetting that there is pleeeenty of misogyny in the world. Even if US businesses won’t have anything to do with him, he’ll just turn to foreign holdings and do just fine in countries that don’t have progressive women’s movements.

I wish someone would take him to court over assault except that means wishing Trump’s attorneys on people and that just seems inhumane.

rugbyyogi
rugbyyogi
3 years ago

@Bina – not to defend the whole rather offensive ‘gash’ thing, but vulvas come in all shapes and sizes and I have a friend who says hers is like that. I’ve never seen it up close , but she said it in front of her husband and he didn’t deny. (I run in circles where this sort of thing isn’t an uncommon thing to say.)