Embattled presidential candidate/sexual predator Donald Trump told the Wall Street Journal this morning that there is “zero chance” that he’ll be dropping out of the race, because “the support I’m getting is unbelievable.”
Some of the most unbelievable support is coming from a longtime fan of his known on the Internet as Heartiste — an extravagantly hateful pickup artist very familiar to readers of this blog.
In one blog post (archived here), Heartiste defends the creepily predatory comments Trump made before making a cameo appearance on a soap opera a decade ago as “fratty sex talk ” that expressed a deep truth about the nature of female desire. “Trump is right,” Heartiste asserts.
Fame Game is the most powerful aphrodisiac a man can unleash in the world of women. I’ve no doubt actresses on that soap opera eagerly welcomed Trump’s inquisitive probings.
As thoroughly icky as this is, it’s just the warmup.
In a second and even more over-the-top blog post (archived here), Heartiste again defends Trump’s hot-mic comments about grabbing women “by the p***y” as “normal healthy heterosexual male banter,” then launches a bizarrely homophobic rant against Paul Ryan, whom Heartiste denounces as the “world’s most craven, gutless, cuck f***ot piece of quisling shit” for daring to criticize Heartiste’s idol.
Heartiste’s prose is generally pretty overheated, but he’s really outdone himself with this post. It’s probably the most over-the-top political rant you’ll read all year.
Here’s a sample paragraph, which I have lightly censored out of respect for all that is good and true in this world:
There is no end to the ways in which this phoneyf*ck indignation reveals the full rainbow-facialed glory hole degeneracy of Cuck Ryan’s flaccid testosterone deficient soul. It’s the schoolmarmish finger wagging equivalent of a ravished sphincter bleeding torrents of AIDS. You’re a weak sack of shit Ryan. I could carve a better man out of Jeb. Carl the Cuck laughs at you. Amanjaw marc*ntte has bigger balls, you mincing bugeyed c**lapping pink dumbbell lifting nutless retard buttplug convention kiosk operator.
Heartiste could really use a refresher course on the correct use of hyphens.
Elsewhere in the post, Heartiste invites Ryan to kill himself, suggests that he has been searching the internet for “anal fissure cream,” and informs him that
[b]eing born with a vagina doesn’t automatically qualify one for championing, but I can see why in your stunted betaf*g mind the glorious golden gash is a mystical religious symbol up there with the Shroud of Turin.
Heartiste also dismisses Ryan’s home state as “Wiscucksin,” and ends his post with a picture of a hangman’s noose — which is either a reference to his earlier comments about suicide, or a death threat directed at a sitting politician.
So, yeah, that happened.
I should be mad, on the other hand I already know that Trump will most likely curse out Hillary and his brand has been so muck ridden no one will want anything to do with him, combined with the fact that to many conservatives, violating the “noble protector of women” doctrine is beyond taboo gives me enough peace to know that this trainwreck has yet to completely crash.
My retort Heartiste: Ha. Ha. Ha.
I feel bad for Ryan. He is still an asshole, but nobody should ever have to put up with that.
Sadly, I don’t think Ryan will learn the lesson about what happen when you stock the fires of hatred.
Ryan kinda reminds me of those “Sad Puppies” who started trying to get out from under the hate that is Theodore Beale and Rabid Puppies once they accepted what he really was. They were happy to get the additional votes, but then when everyone with enough brains started yelling at them for supporting such things… “We didn’t know what he was” was a common refrain. Sure you didn’t, because you didn’t dare look critically.
A horrible person verbally assaulting another horrible person because they aren’t the right sort of horrible?
Quelle surprise.
Needs to be some kinda asshole-classification system. FDA-Approved A-Grade assholes over here.
…Convention kiosk operator?
I wonder if Ryan is enough of a critical thinker to be able to see his hopes and dreams swirling down the drain.
Did James “Heartiste” Weidmann genuinely think, even for a second, that Paul Ryan was a sincere ally? If so, why? Does he not understand how grown-up politics works?
You might want to sit down, Weidmann, I’ve got some bad news to break to you.
How the fuck is being famous a ‘game’? Also, releasing powerful aphrodisiacs in the world isn’t sexy. It’s cartoon villainy
Eww…
“Healthy heterosexual male” is apparently synonymous with “entitled sexual predator”. And who’re the misandrists again?
Pussy Riots opening act?
Read a book
As an insult. And I don’t think he’s criticizing technique…
FTFY
Heartiste: grumpy gormless garbage
I should find this offensive, but I just laughed and thought about how delicious alt-right tears are.
My band name
I read “bleeding torrents of AIDS” in the sense of peer-to-peer download torrents, and then did a double-take. It’s strange how language changes.
Also, I am a horribly musically ungifted person, but I would totally be a roadie for a band called Rainbow-Facialed Glory Hole.
Yeah no. No sympathy for Ryan.
I give no pity for Ryan.
@ EJ
Within the roadie community musical ability is very much frowned upon and regarded with suspicion. You’re either production or product. The only people who have successfully managed to keep respect in both camps are Madonna and Lemmy from Motorhead.
I can’t even really be offended because at this point Heartsie’s just throwing out words.
It’s like the insult equivalent of keyboard smashing.
Mmm, delicious, rejuvenating tears.
I think kiosk convention operator is meant to invoke *gasp* The Jews.
I have no idea why I think that through but seems.
This is straight out of that South Park episode where they just write the grossest, most vulgarity-filled book possible. Except nobody’s going to pay attention to Heartiste’s version.
It’s like somone throwing thesaurus confetti in a wind tunnel.
We’ve got a month more of this? I’m not sure I’ll make it.
Heartiste seems to be channelling the Frenchman in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Is Paul Ryan also an “empty-headed animal-food-trough-wiper”? Does Heartiste fart in his general direction? Paul Ryan is a white ka-nigget!
The “best” part of this for me is that Ryan’s statement is misogynistic in its own way. Women are not to be revered and championed; we’re to be treated like human beings which is the opposite of pretty much everything Paul Ryan has ever done politically.
There are better barometers of the fact that Trump is losing, but the increasing viciousness and desperation coming from his most fervent supporters is not a bad one.
To quote a certain Hillary Clinton, “Wow. Ok.”
Weatherwax:
http://i.giphy.com/26uf5YvN8Td27IrFm.gif
Having been to Wisconsin and done quite a lot of traveling/ vacationing/ tourism there back when I was a Flatlander down south, I really take exception to Heartiste insulting it like that.
Despite some of the residents’ (and it sure as hell isn’t all of ’em) questionable tastes in politicians, Wisconsin is an awesome state to see and I love Madison, Door County, and the landscape. If you have gotta insult the state, Heartsie, at least be creative and don’t use the angry manbaby equivalent of “poopiehead”. Sheesh.
PS: Even the questionable taste in politicians bit has no moral superiority, because I hail from a state where I’m starting to think we should just throw our governors in prison at the start of their terms and save us some time and money. 😛