So Trump’s been caught on video bragging about grabbing unsuspecting women “by the p***y.”
Watch the video in this tweet and throw up in your mouth a little:
Women have the power to stop Trump.https://t.co/tTgeqy51PUhttps://t.co/VH3woeAf9Q pic.twitter.com/NjvbkPsjPR
— Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) October 7, 2016
Yes, this is horrible Trump revelation number two billion and seven, but this one looks like this could be the straw that breaks the camel’s back, and Republicans are scrambling to condemn his comments and distance themselves from their nominee.
I don’t have much to add here but I think some of you probably do.
@Axe
Nauseating. Every one of those tactics were used against me by my abusive ex. I had a dream last night that he and I were still together. We were going to elope but instead realized that we were both miserable and would be better off single, so we split amicably. Way better than the real ending.
Who the fuck talks like that at the dining room table?
@kupo
Huggity hugs <3
@Kupo
Roger was put on a very long propation, so we’ll just have to wait for his sockpuppet to do that for him.
@Oogly
Yeah, I just went and checked up on that thread because I was wondering what he was up to. I’m sure he’ll be back, though.
@Axe
Thanks for the hugs. ^o^
The few surrogates willing to do so say vote for Trump despite what he did 11 yr ago & don’t vote for HC because of what HER HUSBAND did over 20 ys ago?
@kupo
If/when he comes back I expect for him to at least turn his poems from frivolous flowery language to literally anything else. I could also expect him to turn over a new leaf and not be a complete waste of human meat and bone, but sadly I’m not that optimistic.
I need to post something sweet to counter this awfulness.
http://i.imgur.com/yseXxB2l.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/rn8Hyvf.gif
https://mobile.twitter.com/EmrgencyKittens/status/758011322210525185/photo/1
http://67.media.tumblr.com/73dcbe5083a4f03a4ef1bcb72a5a2e97/tumblr_oaxd09XkEY1tlb56zo1_400.gif
http://i.imgur.com/00swmb8.gif
http://i.imgur.com/8mvegYT.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/6oEjpm8.gif
http://i.imgur.com/fCdfZmy.jpg
@Fiona McCool
Been there, done that, you’re probably better off separating. That friend’s most likely too far down that rabbit hole to get out anytime soon.
Trust me, it’s either that or typically alot of arguing with someone who frankly hates all that lives. And no amount of articles you cite or how many points of his you shoot down, he’ll still fervently believe it even if you sort through his entire catalogue of parroted bullsperm talking points.
@Neurite
Never had to do it on my own. Where was the driver?
Trump, we already knew was an entitled asshole. If this looses him the women’s votes, well about damn time.
That said–
Who films a hostile interaction between a baby and a cat? They shouldn’t be allowed either. I hope baby and cat both find homes with decent, empathetic adults.
Yeah I’m more horrified by the video than the confirmation of something I already knew.
Fiona:
I’ve decided several times to end friendships on the basis of someone’s beliefs or behaviour.
I’m not sure how to elaborate, perhaps I can give some examples.
When my wife had cancer, I ended relationships with several people – family and friends – who decided to tell me about the power of prayer and how god, rather than doctors, was in control and how it would be my fault if she died because I wasn’t praying enough.
I have a chronic condition which keeps me in constant pain. I take as few painkillers as I possibly can but I simply could not live without them. That hasn’t prevented some former friends (who do not suffer chronic pain) from lecturing me about how I’m wrong to take painkillers. I haven’t exactly ended those relationships, but I have no intention of ever speaking to those people again.
Former friends who have a very similar background to me have insisted that there’s no problem at all with sexism in academia or science/engineering fields. They are former friends. I’ve explained why but I doubt they understand.
I’ve fallen out with former friends who blame victims for their rapes or muslims for terrorism or immigrants for stealing jobs.
Being in the UK, Trump is slightly less terrifying for me than for you US people. But if a friend seriously supported Trump even after we’d argued extensively about it, yeah, that would be an ex-friend too. Nobody who supported or excused his views could possibly be my friend.
I don’t have many friends left, obviously, but the ones I have are worth having.
@Fiona McCool
I can’t tell you what to definitively do, and since I don’t know the person I can’t tell you what do, but personally I would end this friendship.
Your friend supports some seriously sick things, and this can only be the actions of someone bigoted and not very nice. It is hard, really difficult, to accept but if a friend of mine supported those lowlifes then I would struggle through and accept that they aren’t a person who deserves my friendship.
As someone who is very shy and likes their own company, I don’t lose my temper easily, and hardly ever get visibly angry in words or actions outside home, (so much so that when I do it is apparently scary) but I know how you feel- I’d not be able to contain myself seeing a friend who is that kind of person.
My own personal path would be to end this friendship before the person gets a chance to ruin my enjoyment of the concept of meeting with friends. I can’t tell you what you must do, I can only say that I hope this helps as you work through this problem.
I realise how lucky I am, as a young man just about past teenage-hood, that my male friends were respectful of women and horrified by misogyny and other hatreds, and know that I am privileged in this way- a lot of feminists, of all genders, have very different experiences, like you do. Therefore, I’ll just leave what I would do here and hope it helps.
@Fiona McCool,
Heya! Another longtime lurker here. (Also, a fellow Fiona! We are legion.) I rarely post. About your friend. I’m not gonna say if you should fade or stick with this dude, but both here and at Captain Awkward, we have a saying:
When someone tells you who they are, believe them.
Regardless of how otherwise wonderful this friend might be, on some level he’s 100% OK with business fraud, sexual assault, racism, anti-immigrant hysteria, toxic masculinity, and white rich dudes getting away with shit, because those are Trump’s selling points.
No one in the Trump camp seriously believes he’s going to magically turn out to be a good person after the election despite all the garbage that’s come out of his mouth. Trump’s success is all about a power fantasy for garbage people.
Back to your friend. This dude is telling you who he is. Believe him. This dude is telling you he’s not gonna be there for you if you’re hurt. Believe him.This dude is telling you your life and autonomy aren’t things he cares about. Believe him.This dude is telling you what side of the argument he’s gonna be on when you’re in a crisis. Believe him.
Can you be a friend to this dude? Sure, if you want.
Is this dude a friend to you? Opinions are gonna vary.
Can you trust this dude to have your back? Personally, I’d say no. But, ultimately, it’s up to you how much you wanna trust a/or enable this guy.
But whatever you decide to do, do this: Believe him.
With my friends I tend to try and avood political discussion unless the atmosphere is just right.
Other than that my main issue is connecting and making new ones; the people in my uni halls are hard to connect with and it’s rarely possible to really initiate social contact elsewhere. Autism doesn’t help.
Any tips?
@Policy of Madness
Absolutely. As I said, he is a vile, vile man. And the things he says here just demonstrates that once again.
@kupo
Oh, I’m not brushing it off because it might be hyperbole. Because even if it is, it’s still a disgusting attitude to have. And I’m not even convinced that it was, just that it’s possible that it could have been.
@Fiona McCool
It was a long time ago, but I ended a close relationship with a cousin about 6 months after 9/11. Her husband and a friend of his called me late one night and left a message announcing that they had sentenced me to death for the crime of treason. Because I didn’t support the US military invasion of Afghanistan.
Yes, they were obviously drunk. Husband blamed it all on his friend and cousin turned on me for even saying anything about it. “It was all a joke” “you liberals are so sensitive.” It got much uglier than even that and to this day I try to avoid attending family events when she’s in town.
That doesn’t make the hurt less or the loss easier to tolerate. I wish you all the best.
@Fiona:
I’ve had a similar thing with a colleague. He’s a smug white-STEM-cishet-male type, who is normally very keen to turn anyone’s lived reality into a thought experiment to be debated. Over the years he’s drifted further and further into this role, and has become more open about it as he’s realised that he can get away with doing it. Recently he has been reading and regurgitating a lot of the worst glib libertarian nonsense, in a Scott Adams / Neal Stephenson way.
Two months ago, I had to explain to him that he had crossed too many lines and as a result we were Not Friends Any More. His immediate reaction was “Why? Everything’s been fine up until now!” When told that everything wasn’t fine up until now, his response was “Well, nobody’s said anything to me.” When told that people have said things to him, his response was “Oh, that? But I successfully debated/debunked/dismissed those!”
At this point I gave up talking to him, which he took as me accepting that he was right and that there was no problem.
He is, however, an exceptionally good empirical scientist, and so it has not escaped his notice that I no longer indulge him in his debating. He has therefore drawn the (correct) conclusion that I am not happy with him; but has also drawn the (false) conclusion that this is because I am an irrational SJW whose moods are mysterious and capricious. (Were I not every bit as white and cismale as him, he would probably have explained it to himself in very ugly ways.) As it is he keeps trying to heal the rift by trying to be funny, which is just awkward.
My conclusion from this? If a person is a Yiannopoulos supporter, they’re probably also too much of an asshole to be able to accept the possibility that they are in the wrong. This person will not understand why you want them to stop being an asshole, and may not even understand that what they’re doing is unacceptable.
This is not a friend. The friendship is already over and you need to let them know.
@Fiona McCool : it depend on your character, but for me, cutting ties with that kind of people was not just right : it was actually a good thing for my mental health.
If you ask yourself the question of whether you should cut tie, it’s likely that you should. Don’t burn the bridges, but stop talking to her or him.
@Fiona McCool
NiOg sort of said this already, but you might be interested in what this fellow has to say:
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2016/9/30/1576113/-If-You-Tell-Me-You-Are-Supporting-Trump-I-Already-Know-Seven-Things-About-You
I am waiting for the usual suspects to retaliate as to why Hillary didn’t release the video earlier.
Well, because she’s a schemer. If a man had released it at the exact same moment, he would be smart.
@ POM
Just to do my legal nerd thing, in England unsolicited kissing could amount to sexual assault (or as it’s called here ‘indecent assault’; sexual assault is something else).
It all depends on that tricky concept ‘context’. For something to be indecent as opposed to regular assault there has to be a sexual element. That’s an objective test. Sometimes it can be hard to establish. But for example a boorish person greeting everyone at a party with an annoying kiss probably wouldn’t be deemed to be committing the offence (probably wouldn’t count as assault at all for various reasons) but someone accosting random people in the street for thrills probably would he held so.
It’s rather like how Trump’s molesting is clearly sexual but if you whack me in the nads because I’ve annoyed you then, whilst that could be an assault, it wouldn’t be a sexual assault.
ETA: a guy here was convicted of indecent assault because he kept touching people’s muscles as it turned him on. It wasn’t the place touched that was significant, it was the motive.
@latsot
Exactly. ‘Good for the goose, good for the gander’ does not apply if you’re a trump supporter.
@Alan, PoM : I did not see thoses unsolicited kiss, but of which kind are they ? Both as a description and what they usually mean.
(in France, women are not supposed to handshake, but kiss on the cheek to greet someone – of either sex. There is some social pressure to not handshake a female or as a female, which I actively fight against because I find kiss icky 90% of the time and arousing the remaining 10%, which add up to 100% of situations where I should not kiss someone if we suppose the other people isn’t my significant other)
@Fiona
Everyone else’s advice is great, but I just wanted to add something. Sorry for the pretentious wording. I communicate negative feelings thru overwrought prose. It’s that or sentence fragments and rage 🙂 (Edit: that was a weird emoji…)
*ahem*
She wasn’t too much of a friend, but we were at one point… close. We’d drifted for years, but never too far (her mom went to my granddad’s funeral). She’d gotten mean. Not in an angry way. More ‘laugh at the joke that is Axe’s life’. You learn to put up with things when interpersonal interaction is scarce
Now, I wasn’t surprised when she turned out to be a transphobe. Most people are to some degree or another, right? Including her boyfriend. And my brother, but I knew about him. Blood makes me feel obligated to fix his thinking. It’s a slow process…
Like the rest of her fuckery, she’s not angry with it. It’s hilarious! Apparently. I shut my eyes and let it pass. A week or so later, she adds homophobia to the repertoire. Perhaps cos this one was aimed at me instead of some rando, it finally clicked. I politely, and in a semi jokey way outta nervousness, asked her to shut up. She refused, I walked out, and we’re done now. Had 1 convo since. About a broken washing machine. I just restrained myself from yelling
Here’s the thing. Can’t and won’t tell you what to do, or how to proceed. I will say that Trump and Yianno, for however complexly human they are behind closed doors, exist in the public sphere as avatars for bigotry and harassment. That’s what your ‘friend’ is a fan of. If he hasn’t yet, he’ll turn that on you. Maybe accidentally, maybe it just slips out, but you’ll be on the receiving end eventually. Confront, bail silently, try to make it work, whatever you decide, don’t put that decision off until after you get hurt. Good luck <3