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Has Chuck Tingle become Hillary Clinton’s new secret weapon? One so secret that Hillary may not even know he exists?
Tingle — the REAL HUMAN MAN (and not a writhing mass of crabs) behind a series of butt-centric science fiction novellettes — provided his fans with a live-tweeted alternate version of the Clinton-Trump debate last night in which DOMALD TROMP — a mass of space crabs wearing human skin as a disguise — faced off against HILL CLINTONS, a “top wizard” with thirty years of experience.
And then, noticing that the Trump campaign had neglected to purchase the URL TrumpDebateFacts.com, Chuck went set up his own site by that name and offered his take on some of the howlers the Tingle-universe Trump spouted during the debate that happened in Tingle’s imagination last night:
If you missed Tingle’s live-tweeting last night, here are some highlights.
DOMALD TROMP arrives at debate flanked by two devils in disguise. dark magic already clearly afoot as debate auditorium reeks of The Void pic.twitter.com/Mr7yK4Bmrl
— Chuck Tingle (@ChuckTingle) September 27, 2016
main event HILL CLINTONS VS. DOMALD TROMP begins now as the audience snarls and claws the air, frothing at the mouth for flesh of the void
— Chuck Tingle (@ChuckTingle) September 27, 2016
1st falter of night from CLINTONS as she mistakes Tromps bubbling void speech as rational human thought and not the screams of 1000 crabs
— Chuck Tingle (@ChuckTingle) September 27, 2016
Domald Tromp alienating the HANDSOME BILLIONAIRE AIRPLANE VOTE by trashing united states airports as 'from the 3rd layer of the void'
— Chuck Tingle (@ChuckTingle) September 27, 2016
'maybe they didnt do a good job and maybe they should be fed to crabs at the bottom of the lake' – DOM TROMPS on his hardworking employees
— Chuck Tingle (@ChuckTingle) September 27, 2016
tromp invokes MIRACLE POST OFFICE as proof he is not a shrieking collection of cosmic horrors barely held together by bloated stolen skin
— Chuck Tingle (@ChuckTingle) September 27, 2016
Dom Tromp of HANDSOME PRESIDENT'S BIRTH CERTIFICATE: 'i like to think about it, i like to think about it a lot so what?'
— Chuck Tingle (@ChuckTingle) September 27, 2016
domald tromp FEVERISHLY CASTS DARK MAGIC SPELL in a failed attempt at claim that he is not a racist throbbing mass of carnivorous crabs pic.twitter.com/xTnrHb4yZ5
— Chuck Tingle (@ChuckTingle) September 27, 2016
DOMALD TROMP: "i once opened a club and human beings were allowed not just crabs, i swear". moderator declines to interject with fact check
— Chuck Tingle (@ChuckTingle) September 27, 2016
dissapointed in moderator for no DIRECT followup: 'Are you a poorly disguised mass of crabs wearing the skin of bloated human?' disgraceful
— Chuck Tingle (@ChuckTingle) September 27, 2016
claiming 'better temperament than clintons," dom tromp nearly falls off of stage in a blind crustacean rage, black ooze spilling from body
— Chuck Tingle (@ChuckTingle) September 27, 2016
debate ends. Audience lead away still thristy for carnage, spilling onto the streets with teeth snapping wildly and eyes rolled back
— Chuck Tingle (@ChuckTingle) September 27, 2016
You can see the rest on this Storify.
Tingle’s latest book is Brangelina Splits Apart And Then Pounds Their Own Butt.
And here is the Pledge Week capybara for this post:
Chuck Tingle is attempting to be more bizarre than current reality.
He’s achieved his goal — so far.
The gif of Dom with the devils is perfection.
I still hope he writes “Pounded in the Butt by My Own Clone” as a satire of the Hill Clinton body-double conspiracy theory that started up in the wake of her getting pneumonia. You know that would be funny as hell.
To answer your apparently rhetorical question… I gotta say no.
There are a lot of people who are currently making fun of “Tromp”. Most of them have an audience of some sort, even if a fairly limited one. I doubt Hillary even knows of most of them. It’s hard to meaningfully say that any single one of them is a “secret weapon”.
Also Tingle isn’t very funny. There. I said it. Okay fine, I’m sure that some people find it humorous, but his particular brand of surrealist humor doesn’t resonate with me, personally.
Pounded in the butt by my first Presidential debate. T. Rump has his first presidential debate, expecting to win he is taken by surprise by his opponent Hil-Con. Live on national television pundits are flabbergasted and aroused as Hil-Con shows T. Rump the true pleasures of a hard buckaroo.
This shit just writes itself.
Lovecraft would be so proud.
Some people say his birth certificate is fake. Smart people. The best. Beautiful people. They tell me things. They say it’s fake. Maybe Trump is a crab chimera. We don’t know. Nobody knows. We have to figure out what’s going on. We have to. We need to temporarily ban crab demons from this plane of existence. Only I can fix this. What do you have to lose?
GiJoel: I am in awe of your superior bucakroo engineering. You are best at bucka-neering, and may the best buckaneer win this election!
Also: that capybara is almost definitely humping that tortoise. I am amused.
I tend to dig surrealist humour – shades of Monty Python, I suppose. Chuck Tingle makes me giggle, though I suspect I wouldn’t find it funny if it was directed at me. I suspect I mostly like it because it’s several shades of subversive and unrepentant, while being generally cheerful.
OT: Is there any creature that does NOT find a capybara irresistibly cuddly?
Off topic, but, uhhhh, David I don’t think that Capybara is just “lying” on top of that turtle…. (><)
Given that this entry is about Chuck Tingle, I don’t think David’s choosing that photo is accidental…
Huh. I DID find that capybara pic on xCapybara.com …
HA!
Sadly, this is some of the most insightful political commentary I’ve heard this year.
Tingle here kind of reminds me of the “My Little Pony” parody “Friendship is Witchcraft.”
Some of that reminded me of William S. Burroughs (in a good way). Thanks for posting this!
Personally, I find Chuck Tingle’s surrealistic schtick to be about the funniest thing that was ever done. It’s not for everyone, but it is for me.
I love this guy. ‘Top wizard’ is perfect.
I fucking love surrealism, both humour and horror. Dude’s a national treasure as far as I’m concerned.
POUNDED IN THE BUTT BY A HANDSOME BILLIONAIRE CAPYBARA CORPORATE EXECUTIVE
we are all of us true buckaroos. pounded in the butt by a sense of togetherness
I had to take a break from reading to take the kids to school. I went to a picnic last month and ended up talking for quite a bit about Chuck Tingle with a guy who thought he was the best thing ever. I figured not many knew who Chuck Tingle was so it was nice to find a fan of his out there in meatspace.
Edit: And why does my little geometric avatar thingy keep switching between an orange one and a light blue one????
Could Chuck Tingle take a break from the Tingleverse to write a pseudo-Lovecraftian short story about “Tromp?”
I love Chuck Tingle. I think it is important to note that this isn’t a schtick for him, he’s autistic and schizophrenic and apparently the writing has been really helpful for him. His son did an AMA, there’s a couple of interviews and bits based on said AMA about it. One that I like is here http://lithub.com/how-a-self-published-writer-of-gay-erotica-beat-sci-fis-sad-puppiesat-their-own-game/
Gravatar is probably propagating a new avatar for you; your information on their servers probably got reprocessed for some reason! So I imagine it’ll shift to the new one once it finishes propagating through the various caches. That’s just a guess, though!
Tingle’s commentary is reminding me of the truly amazing Romney Death Rally. I’ve been wondering what equivalent will happen this time–I guess there’s no way to know until it actually happens.
Holy shit, that’s an old gif of Tromp.
That first gif (where he’s walking with the “demons”) is when he came in to the WWE to do some promotion for that Hair vs. Hair match from 2007’s Wrestlemania I talked about a while ago.
Again, in hindsight, I wish he lost. (Though, to be a hundred percent accurate, I wish the wrestler he had picked lost. He and his “opponent” picked a wrestler, and they went at it, and the person who picked the losing wrestler would go bald.)