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If you thought Chuck Tingle’s version of the Clinton-Trump debate last night was surreal, well, take a look at what Dilbert creator and wannabe master persuader Scott Adams has to say about it.
Unlike some of Trump’s superfans, Adams is willing to admit that, yeah, Hillary kind of won the debate, at least by normal debate standards.
Clinton won on points. She had more command of the details and the cleaner answers. Trump did a lot of interrupting and he was defensive. If this were a college debate competition, Clinton would be declared the winner.
But Adams thinks this “victory on the 2D chess board” doesn’t really matter, because in his mind, apparently, Trump is playing some kind of 95th Dimensional mashup of Chess, Cribbage, and Hungry Hungry Hippos, or something. And in this game, Trump is the clear winner.
“Clinton won the debate last night,” Adams explains. “And while she was doing it, Trump won the election.”
IS YOUR MIND BLOWN YET
On the off chance that your mind is not, in fact, blown, let’s look at exactly why Adams thinks Trump is the real victor in this game of 95th Dimension Chesscribbippos.
As he sees it, Hillary needed to prove to skeptical Americans (or at least to Dr. Adams) that she’s healthy. And she failed.
Clinton looked (to my eyes) as if she was drugged, tired, sick, or generally unhealthy, even though she was mentally alert and spoke well. But her eyes were telling a different story. She had the look of someone whose doctors had engineered 90 minutes of alertness for her just for the event.
Huh. This is your takeaway from a debate in which Trump sniffled so much that people started to wonder if he wasn’t hopped up on the cocaine?
Some will say Clinton outperformed expectations because she didn’t cough, collapse, or die right on stage.
But that’s not enough for Adams, who raises the serious medical question: Is Hillary’s smile kind of weird?
Clinton’s smile seemed forced, artificial, and frankly creepy. … My neighbor Kristina hypothesized that Botox was making her smile look unnatural. Science tells us that when a person’s mouth smiles, but their eyes don’t match the smile, they look disingenuous if not creepy. Botox on your crow’s feet lines around your eyes can give that effect. But whatever the reason, something looked off to me.
CLEARLY UNQUALIFIED TO BE PRESIDENT
Trump, by contrast, was the perfect model of health and handsomeness! Well, not entirely.
To be fair, Trump’s physical appearance won’t win him any votes either. But his makeup looked better than I have seen it (no orange), his haircut was as good as it gets for him … .
But Trump didn’t WIN THE ELECTION LAST NIGHT just by being somewhat less orange than usual. He showed what a calm, cool, and collected customer he is.
Trump needed to solve exactly one problem: Look less scary. Trump needed to counter Clinton’s successful branding of him as having a bad temperament to the point of being dangerous to the country. Trump accomplished exactly that…by…losing the debate.
Wait, what?
Trump was defensive, and debated poorly at points, but he did not look crazy.
MASSIVE WIN
And pundits noticed that he intentionally avoided using his strongest attacks regarding Bill Clinton’s scandals.
You actually think he lost the debate … on purpose?
In other words, he showed control. He stayed in the presidential zone under pressure. And in so doing, he solved for his only remaining problem. He looked safer.
As I put it in a tweet to Adams last night (you’ll have to forgive my typo):
Yeah, Trump throwing a tantrum as the same exact moment he was attacking Hillary for having a bad "temperament" was super duper reassuring. https://t.co/RQnRLxd66C
— David Futrelle (@DavidFutrelle) September 27, 2016
Trump definitely looked presidential, not at all like a giant petulant baby who shouldn’t even be in the same city as the nuclear codes.
BLINKING SARCASM.GIF
The most memorable moments of the first debate: Clinton laughs off Trump’s temperament barb https://t.co/NW6ToTCDFS https://t.co/IR90V9KcLc
— POLITICO (@politico) September 27, 2016
Ladies and gentleman, Donald J. Trump! https://t.co/H9Uy8yzNYZ by @RiosJose559 via @c0nvey
— FLOR DO DESERTO (@FlorDeserto) September 27, 2016
https://twitter.com/peterwsinger/status/780607277938147328
https://twitter.com/CCW000/status/780897508310458368
Oh, wait, that last one isn’t Trump. Hard to tell sometimes.
And here’s the latest Pledge Drive capybara, with a friend:
http://i866.photobucket.com/albums/ab221/Dreamingmarionettealice/401888__safe_fluttershy_animated_artist-colon-florecentmoo_nod_zps38556487.gif
In regards to Roger’s claim that Trump’s base is the common man, this is obligatory:
I’d just like to point out that Mark called a paedophilic (alleged) serial rapist an “Everyman.”
MRAs are such misandrists.
I think Rogark here is proof that men are too emotional and irrational to be allowed the vote : P
Hi, Roger! Thanks for volunteering to present today’s seminar about how men expect their (often willful) ignorance to be considered as valid and cogent as women’s actual knowledge and experience!
Is it possible to write a script that just changes the text of Roger’s posts to “I’m voting for Trump because Clinton has girl cooties”? It would be more accurate and would save everyone lots of time.
What is it they say? “Reals not feels”?
Reals, Roger. Not feels. Reals.
@Roger:
Clinton’s supporters are at least as numerous, and by current estimates slightly more numerous, than Trump’s. When the group you’re labeling the “elite” is bigger than the group you’re labeling “the common man”, then there’s something wrong with your labeling system. Maybe try basing your opinions on facts instead of “feelings”?
You’ve also got a massive false equivalence going in your portrayals of Clinton and Trump. Clinton is a highly experienced and knowledgeable politician with well-thought-out policy positions and a clear agenda that is far more rational and supportive of individual rights (including women’s rights) and prosperity than anything the Republicans are advocating. (Although I certainly agree that she’s very far from perfect and is partly responsible, although to a much lesser extent than the Republicans, for the normalization of neoliberal economic policies that have substantially hurt many Americans.)
Trump, on the other hand, is an ignorant, shallow, narcissistic, wealth-obsessed, lying, cheating reality-TV celebrity who has constantly shafted his business partners, his employees, his subcontractors and his customers. When it comes to actual statecraft knowledge and experience, he is not qualified even to be an intern in the office of an aide to a deputy undersecretary to a member of a Hillary Clinton Cabinet.
Whatever one’s legitimate objections to Hillary Clinton, this preening, thieving, gabbling 71-year-old cockatiel is not a viable alternative to her.
Scott Adams has his own reasons for saying what he says. He is insightful, but he’s not omnipotent. He very well could be succumbing to his own confirmation bias, or he may even be running a social confirmation or authority confirmation experiment of his own design.
I think Robert Cialdini, author of “Influence” and “Pre-Suasion” would tell you to ignore Scott Adams for now.
@ turan
That makes sense. I suspect it’s related to how people who think they’re good drivers make the most nervous passengers.
I actually find planes really relaxing. It’s probably the most vigorously tested for safety environment you can be in and none of the people with you will be tooled up.
Still not paying three quid for a muffin though.
Like… the time he hosted Muammar fucking Gaddafi? On this side of the century?
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2009/sep/23/muammar-gaddafi-tent-trump-estate
That sort of good people?
Or the time when he wrote a letter to a judge, pleading the good character of a cocaine dealer? SNIFF SNIFF, dude.
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/celebrity/the-donald-and-the-dealer-173892
Fuck Rogark (thx WWTH) for knowing who Inoki is. Don’t sully his name wth your bullshit
And yeah, His (and indeed Her) Majesty is foine af. Also, he seems a good ruler
Today I learned that wanting your country to be functional, wanting to shrink the gender gap, and wanting to reform the justice system are not principles. Thank you, Roger.
@Turan
That is precisely how my anxiety about flying works. Ditto for skydiving and many amusement park rides. I’m relatively certain that if I took flying lessons I could get through it (I can fly but I give the seat a death grip.)
Off-topic, but, speaking of horrible people, can we talk about Martin Shitweasel for a moment? He’s auctioning off a chance to punch him in the face to benefit the son of a friend who passed away from cancer.
http://ti.me/2cJfKVL
So, this smug little snot rag has put a lot of people through a lot of pain by making medications unreasonably expensive because he believes they should be expensive because health is valuable. And then his friend dies and he sees an opportunity to help our someone who has suffered as the result of a terrible disease. He could have given the kid a lot of money privately, but instead he takes this as an opportunity for a new publicity stunt and at the same time get someone else to pay at least half of the amount being given to this kid (he’ll match up to an unspecified amount). He’s seeking to gain publicity for himself from this child’s pain and cut his contributions in half at the same damn time.
How do we let in only “good” people? Who gets to define the critieria? How do we identify and quantify goodness? With an ideological test?
Ooh! Is it the same test they use to identify “good guys” with guns? You know, the ones who are good right up until the moment they aren’t?
Anyone who has ever read Scott Adams’s books knows he has big problems with strong women.
I wrote analyses of hiking accidents in the White Mountains for several years and got interested in real vs. perceived risk. People are always more afraid of things that “look” risky. For example, rock-climbing with competent people can be less dangerous than hiking on a very steep trail. One of the dogmas of hiking safety was “never split up a group,” but when I looked at the situation I found that the problem was not deliberately splitting up a group, but in carelessly allowing weaker or less experienced hikers to become separated from the group.
Here in NH we grow a lot of apples, and about 40 years ago there was a big to-do about a chemical called Alar, which was used to keep the apples from falling prematurely from the trees, and might cause cancer. People were driving 50 miles to get Alar-free apples and cider, in spite of the fact that the risk of dying from cancer from Alar and the risk of dying in an auto accident on a 100-mile trip were in the same order of magnitude — and the risk of dying from cancer 40 years from now should be less scary than the risk of dying in a car crash today.
Roger helps demonstrate the deep anti intellectualism present in Trump’s voters. Why would we vote for someone who sounds like she knows what she’s talking about when we could vote for an angry racist with no plan instead?
Also why in what universe is Hillary less principled than Trump. Trump has greedily lied or changed his opinion if he thought it would alienate his hateful base.
Can we please go back to the bit about choosing a leader based on who we’d rather see on tv?
I’d go for David Attenborough myself, I find him so relaxing.
Sadly he doesn’t meet nationality or residency requirements. And though it’s sad to mention it, I’m not sure he’s got four years in him. So I guess I’d want him to choose oh, I don’t know, maybe Marceline the Vampire Queen, as a running mate. Of course she’s not real and it’s not clear in my head how evil she is, but better than Pence anyway.
If we must choose from the current candidates, I’d rather have Hillary Clinton. Sure, watching her isn’t the emotional roller coaster of waiting for The Donald to blow his fuse. But she’s got some humour and I kinda like the wonkishness (oh, who am I kidding, I love it).
Fortunately, I’m voting for her anyway based on, y’know experience, temperament, policy and frankly general likeability.
@david – I’m not sure why you feel like you need to justify your Trump centric posting. I feel like it is completely relevant to this blog’s stated purpose: misogynists who need making fun of. Adams even fits the “standard” manosphere characteristics.
Keep on truckin’, man.
I’d also like to say, regarding this idea of “needing to be cautious” and “only letting in the good people”:
Given the rise of anti-government militias, the increase in talk of violent revolution by white nationalist groups, justices like Roy Moore telling his state officials to ignore Supreme Court rulings; and given the history of violence of anti-government militias, and of right-wing politicians stoking the idea of “get your way or revolt violently and usurp democracy”; what would “being cautious” look like in this case?
I mean, we can’t abide the innocent children who were blown apart in the Alfred P. Murrah building, can we? That’s what “never forget” means, right? So we probably need to ban from entering the country any white conservative who has posted anything anti-government on social media, until we “know what’s going on”, right? And track and monitor churches and militia groups that harbor these types of people? Especially since they have tripled during Obama’s presidency? We definitely need to consider waterboarding the ones who are stockpiling weapons, right? Because the minute we suffer another attack, we won’t have a country, anymore, will we?
If we have *one*, just *one*, more Robert Deer or Dylann Roof, it’s game over, right?
If black people can’t go to a prayer meeting at their church without the possibility of getting murdered by a racist, then it’s absolutely common sense to ban all white Christians from entering the country, right? At least until we know what’s going on with this racism thing?
And given that black people are much more likely to have their lives senselessly cut short by police, since the country finds them to be more threatening than white people in the exact same situation, and the police mirror that; there should at least be some kind of movement to raise social consciousness that black people’s lives matter, too?
Or maybe we should just be careful and disband the police, since the national police union has endorsed an openly racist candidate who has retweeted white supremacist propaganda about black-on-white crime that is the opposite of reality — at least until we know what’s going on?
(And that’s actually a terrible analogy, because the percentage of Americans who support “come home at any cost, don’t try to de-escalate any situation involving a black person” [a la: Officer fired for not shooting suicidal suspect] dwarfs the percentage of Muslims who support “when you are scared, don’t take any chances, kill the threatening white person”. How many white people have we seen parading around in front of Mosques while carrying a high-powered rifle, terrorizing Muslims? And how many of them have been killed?)
@kupo
Yes. Yes, we can
Dude can’t even help anyone without being a shit about it. You say he coulda given privately. Fuck it, he coulda given loudly and publicly. Rich people do that all the time. It’s annoying, but the hospital gets a needed grant. Fine, whatever. Shitweasel’s making this a carnival game that he only partially has to pay for. He’s using his own unapologetically shitty behavior and violence (against himself, but still) for his own narcissistic benefit. The trappings of charity don’t make it so
That capybara looks so relaxed. Kitty massages are the best. If only mine would work on my bad back for me.
I didn’t watch the debate due to not having a working audio socket in my PC although I read the open thread about it here. BBC was saying it had gone 50/50, glad to see some more accurate polling putting things right.
Ooh, can we pick another person to do the punching? And can the person be Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson?
@ Axecalibur, kupo
Reminds me of Trump’s “presidential restraint” choosing “not” to bring up Bill’s marital infidelities during the debate. Set the bar on the ground, then pat yourself on the back for walking over it.
@Sinkable John
Miggy showed back up briefly before getting banned again, but we’ve been low on trolls the past couple days until this Roger showed up.
@WWTH
Principally because tax cuts mean cuts to services and other infrastructure, some of which benefits PoCs. Notice how they never suggest cutting the military budget when they cut taxes.
@Viscaria
Oh, would you? Pretty please?
@Turan
Yes, this type of thinking often makes traffic safety improvements very hard to implement too. People complain endlessly about roundabouts, for instance, saying that they don’t ‘feel’ as safe on them as crossroad intersections, but feelings or no, roundabouts are, in fact, safer.
@Axe
Their kids are adorable ranging to gorgeous (depending on age) too.
@kupo
I wouldn’t have thought my opinion of him could get any lower, but whaddaya know…