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Scott Adams: Trump “won the election” last night by losing the debate

Very presidential
Very presidential

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If you thought Chuck Tingle’s version of the Clinton-Trump debate last night was surreal, well, take a look at what Dilbert creator and wannabe master persuader Scott Adams has to say about it.

Unlike some of Trump’s superfans, Adams is willing to admit that, yeah, Hillary kind of won the debate, at least by normal debate standards.

Clinton won on points. She had more command of the details and the cleaner answers. Trump did a lot of interrupting and he was defensive. If this were a college debate competition, Clinton would be declared the winner.

But Adams thinks this “victory on the 2D chess board” doesn’t really matter, because in his mind, apparently, Trump is playing some kind of 95th Dimensional mashup of Chess, Cribbage, and Hungry Hungry Hippos, or something. And in this game, Trump is the clear winner.

“Clinton won the debate last night,” Adams explains. “And while she was doing it, Trump won the election.”

tim-and-eric-mind-blown

IS YOUR MIND BLOWN YET

On the off chance that your mind is not, in fact, blown, let’s look at exactly why Adams thinks Trump is the real victor in this game of 95th Dimension Chesscribbippos.

As he sees it, Hillary needed to prove to skeptical Americans (or at least to Dr. Adams) that she’s healthy. And she failed.

Clinton looked (to my eyes) as if she was drugged, tired, sick, or generally unhealthy, even though she was mentally alert and spoke well. But her eyes were telling a different story. She had the look of someone whose doctors had engineered 90 minutes of alertness for her just for the event.

Huh. This is your takeaway from a debate in which Trump sniffled so much that people started to wonder if he wasn’t hopped up on the cocaine?

Some will say Clinton outperformed expectations because she didn’t cough, collapse, or die right on stage. 

But that’s not enough for Adams, who raises the serious medical question: Is Hillary’s smile kind of weird?

Clinton’s smile seemed forced, artificial, and frankly creepy. … My neighbor Kristina hypothesized that Botox was making her smile look unnatural. Science tells us that when a person’s mouth smiles, but their eyes don’t match the smile, they look disingenuous if not creepy. Botox on your crow’s feet lines around your eyes can give that effect. But whatever the reason, something looked off to me.

CLEARLY UNQUALIFIED TO BE PRESIDENT

Trump, by contrast, was the perfect model of health and handsomeness! Well, not entirely.

To be fair, Trump’s physical appearance won’t win him any votes either. But his makeup looked better than I have seen it (no orange), his haircut was as good as it gets for him … .

But Trump didn’t WIN THE ELECTION LAST NIGHT just by being somewhat less orange than usual. He showed what a calm, cool, and collected customer he is.

Trump needed to solve exactly one problem: Look less scary. Trump needed to counter Clinton’s successful branding of him as having a bad temperament to the point of being dangerous to the country. Trump accomplished exactly that…by…losing the debate.

Wait, what?

Trump was defensive, and debated poorly at points, but he did not look crazy.

MASSIVE WIN

And pundits noticed that he intentionally avoided using his strongest attacks regarding Bill Clinton’s scandals.

You actually think he lost the debate … on purpose?

In other words, he showed control. He stayed in the presidential zone under pressure. And in so doing, he solved for his only remaining problem. He looked safer.

As I put it in a tweet to Adams last night (you’ll have to forgive my typo):

Trump definitely looked presidential, not at all like a giant petulant baby who shouldn’t even be in the same city as the nuclear codes.

BLINKING SARCASM.GIF

https://twitter.com/peterwsinger/status/780607277938147328

https://twitter.com/CCW000/status/780897508310458368

Oh, wait, that last one isn’t Trump. Hard to tell sometimes.

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Awwwwwwww

 

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Jen
Jen
4 years ago

I don’t know. I walked away even more terrified of the cheeto toddler.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

This reminds me of the football over here. Whenever a team goes crashing out of the FA Cup the managers always claim it was a deliberate ploy so they can “concentrate on winning the League, because that’s what really matters”.

dlouwe
dlouwe
4 years ago

Scott Adams: the walking, talking, Dunning–Kruger effect.

“I had an idea, and if it were true I’d be so clever for thinking of it, and I am so clever, so it must be true!”

[bloviating intensifies]

Weird (not wired) Eddie
Weird (not wired) Eddie
4 years ago

“Surreal” is so completely inadequate….

When I was a kid I remember my dad talking about how dangerous Barry Goldwater seemed. How far (over the precipice) we’ve come.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
4 years ago

So, Scott Adams thinks this is Trump:

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo

American politics is shallow. The candidate who has something mockable the media takes and runs with, is the losing candidate.

If Trump’s sniffles sticks, it’ll join Romney’s binders of women, Marco Rubio’s thirst for bottled water and Al Gore inventing the internet as the thing that killed the campaign.

ETA: How could I forget to throw the Howard Dean scream in there when he’s been in the news today too!?

OoglyBoggles
OoglyBoggles
4 years ago

Freaking 11th dimensional chess players, they play one game and suddenly they see pawns and rooks wherever they go.

Dan Kasteray
Dan Kasteray
4 years ago

So in Dilbert the pointy haired boss was the self insert of Scott Adams. Stupid, selfish and boring.

Also, FDR was a living corpse through four terms in office

Weird (not wired) Eddie
Weird (not wired) Eddie
4 years ago

I’ve got it!!! I know what’s going on now!! It’s all so simple!!!!

Scott Adams is the human incarnation of Poe’s Law, and Trumphhhh is going to spring an October surprise by dropping out, saying “I ran a campaign based on the worst ideas I could say out loud and not go to jail!! Even after THAT, you f***ing morons were gonna make me PRESIDENT!!!! What the f*** is WRONG with you???”

WWTH, I agree 1000%… My nightly prayers are “pleeeeeease, don’t let Hillary say anything about Swift Boats or something else they can run with”

Bias-Free Cookies
Bias-Free Cookies
4 years ago

Long-time lurker, first-time commenter here. Scott Adams might be doing that whole affirmations woo he used to tout the benefits of about 10 years back (and still might), where basically you write down what you want to happen enough times, and it will magically come true with no effort on your part. Seriously. “Trump Will Win the Presidency, Trump Will Win the Presidency, etc.”

Brian
Brian
4 years ago

Can we rule out that Scott Adams may just have too much invested and Trump has put him under spell as he was first and has a lot to gain from a president Trump. Like in the Miss Universe talk he was visibly shocked and rattled and if Clinton is able to drag up information like that while going to bat for the victim giving them a platform is her path to the presidency and may be wider then we think.

Schnookums Von Fancypants, Social Justice Wario
Schnookums Von Fancypants, Social Justice Wario
4 years ago

So all Trump had to do to “win” the debate was not drop his pants, shit in his hand, and fling it at Hillary? I’m probably being overly emotional and not using my man-logic here, but that seems to be a pretty fucking low bar to clear.

Falconer
Falconer
4 years ago

Let me tell you why this is good news for McCain!

Why am I reminded of the Confederacy rejoicing, after Richmond fell, that it no longer had to defend cities?

As far as snubbing the moderator goes, I thought I saw Trump double back and shake his hand? Probably a breach of etiquette not to be right behind Clinton, but they did shake hands.

Thiazin red
Thiazin red
4 years ago

I’m still not certain why they think bringing up Bill Clinton’s affairs would hurt her. It wasn’t her that did the cheating. Other women were sympathetic. A cheated on spouse saying mean things about her husband’s mistress is understandable. Bill isn’t running.

But most of all why would they possibly think a serial adulterer going after the victim of adultery would look good for him? Do they honestly think that she doesn’t have an answer ready for that? Do they think opening up questions about his relationships makes him look better?

kupo
kupo
4 years ago

So all Trump had to do to “win” the debate was not drop his pants, shit in his hand, and fling it at Hillary?

I’m pretty sure Adams would have counted that as a victory, too.

Viscaria
Viscaria
4 years ago

95th Dimensional mashup of Chess, Cribbage, and Hungry Hungry Hippos

95th Dimension Chesscribbippos

Okay, somebody invent this, because I would play the shit out of it.

Also Dave, your sense of humour gets me every time and it’s why I keep coming back here. You do such a great job of finding the absurdity hidden within the awfulness.

Weird (not wired) Eddie
Weird (not wired) Eddie
4 years ago

But most of all why would they possibly think a serial adulterer going after the victim of adultery would look good for him?

Hillary: “Donald (you don’t mind if I call you Donald?) do you REALLY want to get into a discussion about marital fidelity???”

That would have been priceless!

Shalimar
Shalimar
4 years ago

@Thiazin red
I’m not even sure why anyone would think his numerous affairs would hurt Bill Clinton. Gennifer Flowers was heavily publicized before he was even the front-runner in 1992, and never had any negative effect on his campaign. For whatever reason, the voting public has never cared.

davidknewton
4 years ago

It’s chess with pigeons, every single time.

Sporkey
Sporkey
4 years ago

So Trump acting less like the asshole he is will win him the election by losing the debate? Mr. Adams, that’s called moderating your stance which most candidates do for general election. You are not clever.

You know, Trump’s for all forms of energy… particularly White Power, but I don’t think that’s going to help him now.

On a side note – if you hate listening to the debates, try muting and closed captioning if your TV has that option. I think YouTube does, too. I actually like to watch the debates that way to pay more attention to body language. Well, and to MST 3K whatever Clinton was writing.

PeeVee the Sarcastic
PeeVee the Sarcastic
4 years ago

If we all say “Trump Will Lose The Presidency” 5 times into a mirror in a darkened room, will he disappear?

Viscaria
Viscaria
4 years ago

On a side note – if you hate listening to the debates, try muting and closed captioning if your TV has that option.

And perhaps spare a thought for your captioners, who are doing that shit live! Very impressive.

numerobis
numerobis
4 years ago

I “listened” by reading the NPR feed.

Tara the Antisocial Social Worker
Tara the Antisocial Social Worker
4 years ago

I forget who tweeted it, but my fave from last night:

TRUMP: I have the better temperament!

FACT CHECK: He is Donald Trump.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
4 years ago

If Trump wins, Adams will never shut up about having called it… 🙁

@Bias Free Cookies
Welcome package on the right, newbie 🙂

@Viscaria

And perhaps spare a thought for your captioners, who are doing that shit live! Very impressive

Yep

Tara the Antisocial Social Worker
Tara the Antisocial Social Worker
4 years ago

My cat does that same massaging thing to the border collie. After a while she’s had enough, and she gets up & moves – but he just trots along after her.

Bina
4 years ago

Clinton looked (to my eyes) as if she was drugged, tired, sick, or generally unhealthy

Meanwhile, the entire Internet has been remarking on Drumpf’s repeated sniffles and lip-smacks, and speculating as to the cause. Howard Dean, an MD by training, suspects cocaine. And he would no doubt know the signs…

Snowberry
Snowberry
4 years ago

Was it ever actually confirmed that Bill was cheating? It could have been an open relationship, before that existed as a common term.

Snowberry
Snowberry
4 years ago

…I mean, it’s not especially relevant, since even if he was cheating they obviously reconciled – she doesn’t need him to survive or continue her lifestyle or anything like that. But it would seem extra hypocritical if that wasn’t even true to begin with.

Jaygee
Jaygee
4 years ago

This is an interesting take on things but fits in what we see a lot from MRAs: they can never admit defeat. (Here it’s: we lost a little bit won a lot.) It’s like if they don’t admit it, it didn’t happen, and somehow their words will spin reality to fit with what they wish happened. It always makes me wonder what it would take for them to admit defeat. Would Clinton physically kicking Trump’s butt do it?

Something slightly off topic from the OP: I’ve been reading about people who think Trump won and Clinton lost. They give reasons like Clinton came off “smug,” like a “know-it-all”, and “overprepared.” Some man interviewed by Upworthy who claimed to have switched from Clinton to Trump because of the debate said this. I also read a couple commented at Joe My God saying different Trump-supporting neighbors used similar verbiage, notably “smug.” This commenter wondered where they were getting this canned talking points. Possibly Fox News, their local church? I wondered the same, and especially when within this short span of time? Thoughts?

Ooglyboggles
4 years ago

@Jaygee
I get the term “stumbled” alot. Forgive me but stream of consciousness bullshit that is immediately countered and called out on for vagueness, hypocrisy and factual inaccuracies doesn’t seem to me count as anything close to a win both on substance and in convincing the audience.

Or saying “WRONG WRONG WRONG” like a buzzer and talking over the moderator.

Tessa
Tessa
4 years ago

Kupo

I’m pretty sure Adams would have counted that as a victory, too.

They’d just point out that Clinton’s the one covered in crap.

Skiriki
Skiriki
4 years ago

SCOTT ADAMS START LEARNING POLITICAL DEBATE SKILLS YOU GOT ONE HOUR TO GO AND YOU WILL BE RATED IN THE END.

http://i.imgur.com/Ij0qtNN.png

Kat
Kat
4 years ago

@Herr Von F (ooh, a “von”!)

So all Trump had to do to “win” the debate was not drop his pants, shit in his hand, and fling it at Hillary?

Correct.

But that bar will be too high for the second debate.

LaterSpaceCowboy
LaterSpaceCowboy
4 years ago

So we’ve got a candidate who has repeatedly been accused of racism who refuses to so much as shake the hand of the black moderator? Yea, *that* was a good idea. What a dope.

EJ (The Orphic Lizard)

@Tara the Antisocial Social Worker:

TRUMP: I have the better temperament!

FACT CHECK: He is Donald Trump.

BEST THING EVER

C.S.Strowbridge
C.S.Strowbridge
4 years ago

Even Scott Adams has to know he’s talking out of his ass on this one. He’s just saying this to make him feel better, right?

Steampunked
Steampunked
4 years ago

But most of all why would they possibly think a serial adulterer going after the victim of adultery would look good for him?

I fear the answer is that when adultery is committed that it is the fault of the woman – it’s the entire gatekeeping of sex issue. It goes both ways – it’s her responsibility to not give it up until marriage, and then her responsibility to lock him away by using the Power of Sex appropriately.

I would have thought that was hyperbole until I came across a forum on how to deal with various family issues and the thread of ‘our family blames me for him cheating on me’ is a constant repetition.

Dr. Thang
Dr. Thang
4 years ago

Wow, I saw this coming a billion miles away. I knew Trump wasn’t gonna do well, but I remember thinking, Trump could go up there and poop his pants and then cry for half and hour and his supporters would still be saying “This is great for the Trump campaign actually, in fact this is even better than if he won, or just didn’t poop his pants!”

Moggie
Moggie
4 years ago

This rather desperate and unconvincing positivity reminds me of Spinal Tap’s manager. Scott Adams could have a future in the music biz.

Àine
Àine
4 years ago

Is this even a misogyny tracking blog anymore? Or is it just for US politics now.

Number Sequence
Number Sequence
4 years ago

And pundits noticed that he intentionally avoided using his strongest attacks regarding Bill Clinton’s scandals.

If I read that CNN tweet correctly, trump was congratulating himself backstage for that one as well.

GiJoel
GiJoel
4 years ago

It’s a bit sad when the best you can say is, “well, he didn’t shit himself on stage.”

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
4 years ago

And pundits noticed that he intentionally avoided using his strongest attacks regarding Bill Clinton’s scandals.

Wait, his strongest attacks include “A person who is not you did a thing without your knowledge”?

Kootiepatra
4 years ago

I find it so upsetting that Trump is getting head pats for managing not to have a screaming meltdown, while Clinton gets chastised for–I dunno, not literally ascending off the platform in a sparkling aura of radiant light or something. She’s getting tepid responses for being professional and competent. Trump is getting praised for making a halfhearted attempt at civility.

It’s really not fair.

rugbyyogi
rugbyyogi
4 years ago

O.M.F.G.

That Scott Adams tweet about mastering policy in an hour. Holy fucking shit.

I work in policy. It’s my job to sound knowledgeable and to be able to bull shit on policy areas I know relatively little about. It can be done. But not in an hour. And the skill it takes to be able to pull that off convincingly certainly can’t be mastered in an hour. Adams certainly hasn’t mastered it.

In an hour, I could tell him the top issues in my fields of expertise, he might be able to sound knowledgeable briefly. And there is even some benefit from not having practitioner experience (so you can cut through the culture of shared assumptions) but byjebus you can’t master it in an hour.

No. You have to work and focus to get on top of a policy issue – even at a relatively superficial level. And if you want to really know and understand it and you know maybe do something about it, it takes hours and hours and hours of work and listening – really listening – to people with experience. And some of it is mind-bogglingly dull, even for me, someone who is always described as passionate about my policy areas.

Trump just doesn’t have the attention span or the interest to do it. And neither does Adams.

Roger
Roger
4 years ago

I’m not a racist or a sexist or anything, but I preferred Trump. Trump did seem fairly reasonable to me, and Clinton did look smug – she was standing there looking terribly self-satisfied, being vaguely passive aggressive.
But as Trump said, all she has is a load of bad experience.

She’s the establishment, status-quo candidate. Been in power for decades. Voted for the war in Iraq, and is bought and paid for by Goldman-Sachs.

So, I think I’m going to support Trump now. Maybe that’s a sign he is playing the long game?

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
4 years ago

Woah. Stuff happened while I was moving. I need to find meself a transcript of the debate after I’ve figured out where to get a steady supply of coffee.

Any interesting troll come while I was gone ?

jamesworkshop
jamesworkshop
4 years ago

@Kootiepatra
September 28, 2016 at 2:42 am

I find it so upsetting that Trump is getting head pats for managing not to have a screaming meltdown,

while Clinton gets chastised for–I dunno, not literally ascending off the platform in a sparkling aura of radiant light or something.

http://dumpfm.s3.amazonaws.com/images/20151022/1445567774769-dumpfm-cheseball-hilary-clinton-super-saiyan.gif

I’m kinda disappointed that this is the best Super Saiyan gif of H.C
I could find.

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