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JudgyBitch: Trump won debate because he “spanked Hillary just enough to let her know her place”

Trump: Winning?
Trump: Winning?

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As you bask in the satisfaction that comes from knowing that the unflappable Hillary Clinton decisively defeated the sputtering, sniffing Trump in the debate last night, there are probably not a lot of you who are wondering, “hey, what does that racist Canadian MRA lady who thinks unmarried women shouldn’t be allowed to vote think of what happened?”

But I’m going to tell you anyway: The woman known as Janet Bloomfield and/or JudgyBitch thinks Trump gave the world “a master class in how to fight with a girl.”

Yep. It was a famous victory for the orange-faced tycoon.

“I am going to call this a decisive victory for Trump, but not because of anything he said,” Judgy (real name Andrea Hardie) declared in a blog post today.

Trump won by delivering a master class on how to fight with a woman and win. In general, men can’t win fights with women. If you beat the crap out of her (metaphorically or otherwise), you’re a bully who hates women, and not a real man. If you stand there and take a pummeling from her, you’re a pussy who isn’t a real man anyways. Fighting with a woman is almost always a lose-lose scenario. That’s called male privilege, or something.

Huh. If this were true, wouldn’t female politicians hold pretty much every elected office in the known world?

From the very first moment, Trump signaled his place at the top of the nation’s hierarchy. He didn’t need to do anything other than adorn his suit with a small American flag. For many undecided voters, it was over the moment they noticed Trump had a flag pin, and Hillary didn’t.

Apparently in Judgy’s mind, voters are such unsophisticated rubes that they’ll vote for any piece of crap who adopts even the most superficial trappings of patriotism.

If a tiny little flag pin has such power, imagine how successful you could be in politics if you covered yourself head to toe in the stars and stripes? You know, like future president Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho:

Flags and guns, an unbeatable combination?
Flags and guns, an unbeatable combination?

By contrast, Hillary merely “looked pretty. As pretty as a slightly dumpy, frowny, overweight 60 something woman can look.”

Really?
Really?

As Judgy sees it, the colicy baby who looks like he was spray-tanned by a drunken howler monkey is the epitome of gravitas.

Trump looked Presidential. He looked like the quintessential patriarch. The man who will make the tough choices and accept the consequences. Hillary got turned into a pretty accessory.

A pretty if “slightly dumpy” accessory who needs a SPANKING:

He stood on the debate stage, and let her walk up to him. He’s the alpha, she’s the supplicant. That was perfect. He is very gently laying on a spanking, but only with her consent, and again, that’s exactly how you do it. I’m not an advocate of spanking children ever, but grown women are another story altogether. She may not know she needs it, but she probably does.

Apparently, the fact that The Donald didn’t literally lunge at Hillary like an angry gorilla shows how totally alpha and in control he is. Because “Trump looks like a bully,” Judgy admits,

average people are watching to see if Trump can constrain himself and not lose it and just beat the crap out of her. …

Trump won, because he spanked Hillary just enough to let her know her place, but not so hard he triggered the latent white knight in undecided viewers.

Weirdly, none of the polls conducted in the wake of the debate dealt with the spank factor, not even the bullshit online polls that Trump fans love to spam.

Instead, they asked totally unimportant questions like “do you trust Trump with the nuclear codes” and “do you think Trump is prepared to be president” and “who won the debate.”

In case you’re wondering, most voters said “no,” “no,” and “Hillary.”

And now, the Pledge Drive capybara:

Put a bird on it!
Put a bird on it!
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jamesworkshop
jamesworkshop
8 years ago

Trump looked Presidential. He looked like the quintessential patriarch.

comment image

Donald Trump ‘Daddy’ Store – Milo Yiannopoulos

Are Milo and Jannet the same person.

Personally, I think Hilary won because she was very judicious in how hard she kicked him in the balls, funny how that can work in the reverse.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
8 years ago

Speaking of Trump shirts, an arty friend has some for sale. See here for details…

https://cloudcity7.com/products/no-more-hope-donald-trump-stars-and-stripes-usa-kids-t-shirt

(Hope that’s ok David, if not please delete)

Argle Bargle (formerly Carr)
Argle Bargle (formerly Carr)
8 years ago

At this point I don’t think anyone should bother reading anything Judgy writes. Seriously, Trump could have picked his nose, belched, farted and finally take a big dump on the podium and she still would have said he looked Presidential. Why? Because in her mind anything women do will never come close to what a man does. So why bother with her? It’s like trying to argue with a wall.

In other news, during a lecture today our professor mentioned the debate. ”Couldn’t he at least have used a tissue?!” was accompanied by a pretty disgusted face. People in China don’t like Trump.

Kat
Kat
8 years ago

I’m not an advocate of spanking children ever.

Uh-huh.

That’s because Canada’s got strict laws about parents spanking their children.

I suppose that a person who pens vile screeds for the Internet might create suspicion about how she’s raising her children.

What is “reasonable force”?

The law allows for corrective force that is “transitory and trifling”, which means minor corrective force or the mildest forms of assault. Parents or a person in the place of a parent can NOT:

use force on a child under 2 years old or on a teenager,
use force that causes harm or might cause bodily harm,
use force because they are angry, frustrated, have lost their temper or because they have an “abusive personality”,
use any object – like a belt or ruler or hairbrush,
hit a child on the head,
do anything degrading, inhumane or harmful (this might include taking clothes off or spanking in public), or
use force on children who have disabilities which make it hard for them to learn.

The police must use this definition as a guide in deciding whether to charge a parent with assault. If a parent or person in the place of a parent does something that is on this list, that person can be charged with assault.

http://jfcy.org/en/rights/corporal-punishment-aka-spanking/

Kat
Kat
8 years ago

Judgy Bitch: Was there ever a more inapt moniker?

Andrea Hardie — the woman who cranks out hate-filled propaganda — is in no position to judge others.

personalpest
personalpest
8 years ago

@ Kat: Thanks for the reality check. I guess I should have known.

bluecat
bluecat
8 years ago

I read an article just the other day about whether you could imagine a woman Trump – or rather, a woman behaving and talking like Trump does and getting applauded for it.

The writer thought not.

I thought Andrea Hardie

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

He stood on the debate stage, and let her walk up to him. He’s the alpha, she’s the supplicant. That was perfect.

OR EQUALLY: Trump stood rooted to the spot, totally oblivious, while Hillary took the initiative and walked right up to him, as gracious, mannered adults do when trying to draw out less socially outgoing/sophisticated folks.

(See, I can make up total Rashomon BS too!)

Meanwhile, here’s what an actual body language expert, David B. Givens, had to say about Trump in the debate:

Mr. Trump’s ordinarily confident body language looked oddly defensive this evening, rather than offensive, as per his previously bumptious appearances on the media stage…His usually confident, expansive hand gestures, head nods, chin juts, and pugnacious pouts were fewer, replaced by reactively more timid head shakes, diffident lip pouts, and lowered eyebrows. Ordinarily offensive, he was overall defensive this time around. Meanwhile, Sec. Clinton calmly smiled and assuredly made her political points verbally clear. Her body showed no reactivity to Mr. Trump’s comments; she was totally (presidentially?) in control.

You may have noticed Mr. Trump’s hyperactive body movements as Sec. Clinton ticked off her debate points…These were uncontrollable on his part, purely visceral reactions, to words he could neither defend nor respond to with thoughtful remarks of his own. So instead, he responded with facial expressions and shoulder elevations—uncertainty shrugs—rather than politically thoughtful dialogue.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/09/27/body-language-expert-trump-defensive.html

Vanir85
Vanir85
8 years ago

Are we sure JB actually exist in the same universe as us?

I mean, what she’s saying might make sense – in a parallel universe somewhere?

Earth-2? Earth-11?

That mirror world where good people are bad and bad people are good?

Just sayin’

Ktoryx
Ktoryx
8 years ago

What is it with repucblicans and flag pins?

It’s just a pin, you guys.
Literally just a pin.

Dalillama
Dalillama
8 years ago

He looked like the quintessential patriarch

No, the quintessential patriarch has a beard you could hide a family of badgers in.

RosaDeLava
RosaDeLava
8 years ago

Is it possible that JB asked her followers for a link to the debate and they directed her to porn instead?

Snowberry
Snowberry
8 years ago

What is it with repucblicans and flag pins?

It’s just a pin, you guys.
Literally just a pin.

It’s not just a pin! It’s a freedom pin! You not wearing it means you hate freedom! Why do you hate freedom, you liberal communist fascist muslimist moray-eel-loving pinko leftist?!

Erin
Erin
8 years ago

I actually thought Clinton looked sharp in her red power suit. We all know that Hillary is not a fashion icon like Michelle Obama. But she shouldn’t have to be. Which of course is exactly what sexism is about. Making women feel like they have to *look* a certain way to be able to achieving anything. Except we all know that that *look* will always be changed No matter what a women looks like or who she’s. And this idea of how she should look will be forever dangled it in front of her like a carrot she won’t ever reach anyway because too many people out there are scared out of their wits for women to be strong, present, accomplished members of society that find more personal sense of worth through achieving important things vs being so consumed with looking hot and young and perfect that they never step outside the box some would like to keep women in.

sparkalipoo
sparkalipoo
8 years ago

Well, there are people who really would rather not vote for a woman, or really hate Hillary specifically. But on the other hand, her main opponent is a bullying blowhard buffoon, so…

Hillary’s not a perfect person but Trump is so much worse that if you’re critical of her, you should be horrified by Trump, so I feel like using criticisms of her as a reason not to vote for her, it’s just a way to hide from the fact that you’re really just sexist

sparkalipoo
sparkalipoo
8 years ago

Trump referred to his opponent as Secretary Clinton — and made a big fuss about being so courteous — but she called him Donald.

The part where he asked her if he could call her Secretary Clinton because he wanted her to feel comfortable was hilarious because you could tell that he thought that he was going to win the debate and then she wiped the floor with him

JS
JS
8 years ago

Ah, the email “issue”. AKA, how do you deal with multiple email accounts without having to use separate devices… That many other politicians have, including prominent Republicans not too long ago. Yes, let’s do bring that up again… not. Don’t forget the Swiss File Transfer, which Clinton has no defense for.

Also, I’m mad about all these pictures of happy puppies. Now I have to go find a small husky plush that looks like the cute little pomsky.

Grrrr… *ha*

BTW for those wondering, the “Swiss File Transfer” was totally made up by John Oliver, but several people probably believed him anyway. It never happened. It’ll probably wind up on infowars anyway, as a “proof of Clinton being bad”. Welcome to the sadness that is the Political Cycle the last few years.

Seshia
Seshia
8 years ago

@sparkalipoo

Now now, let’s be fair, there are uninformed/ignorant Trump supporters as well, they just don’t form his primary voterbase.