There’s been a bit of excitement amongst the Flat Earthers over the past couple of days, as word spread that none other than Donald J. Trump had come out publicly as a Flat Earther, telling an Associated Press reporter that:
I fly a lot, and I mean a lot. No one flies more than me. Listen, I own a jet. I own a 757, beautiful plane, it’s the best plane! If the world were round, believe me, I would know!
Flat Earthers around the globe reacted with excitement to Trump’s apparent endorsement of their peculiar theory — forwarding the story to fellow Flat Earth conspiracy theories, posting comments on Flat Earth sites happily welcoming Trump into the fold. Internet-famous Flat Earth Youtuber Mark Sargent posted a video reporting the, er, “news” as if it were something that might have actually happened.
Responding to Sargent’s video on flatearthscience.org, one Flat Earther allowed himself to dream:
One year ago today, I learned about FE. What an October Surprise this could be. It seems likely to me, that he will have to address it. Trump has said that he will reveal the truth about 911, when he is elected. There is a lot of Truth in FE and ME. A wise man such as he, should be able to see it as easily as we do. A Globalist Trump is not, it would be a nice one year anniversary present to me, from the Goddess herself, if he was to call himself a Flat Earther. The Truth is very Powerful and will certainly set us Free as we were promised.
But despite being gullible enough to literally believe we live on a flat disc with a little snowglobe over it, that the moon and sun are basically big ceiling lamps, and that gravity is a hoax, many Flat Earthers thought the Trump news sounded a bit fishy.
“Wouldn’t that be something!” one commenter on flatearthscience.org declared. “But it sounds too good to be true.”
Another thought the “news story” in question was an attempt to make Flat Earthers look bad –by linking them to Trump:
This is to attach Flat Earthers to Trump (who says wildly outlandish things) … seems more like a discredit.
As it turned out, the obviously fake story had originated on an obviously fake news site crudely impersonating CNN and featuring only two other “news” stories in its archives, one of them headlined “World’s Biggest Starbucks Opening In Phoenix AZ [featuring] Roller Coaster, Underground Water Slide & Robot Baristas,” and written by a fellow who says his name is “Jimmy Rustling.”
The site’s “About” section, at the bottom of each page, makes a reference to “Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin” and encourages anyone with complaints to call a phone number that turns out to be the number of the Westboro Baptist Church.
So, yeah, fake story is fake.
But I am happy to report that the whole embarrassing spectacle did at least inspire a couple of crappy Trump-centric Flat Earth memes. I found these on Whotfetw.com, my go-to site for crappy Flat Earth memes.
But it’s not just political memes the Flat Earthers have trouble with. They do a pretty terrible job with cat memes, too.
In conclusion, this is the weirdest damn election year I’ve ever lived through.
Okay now this is just getting silly.
I keep thinking I’m going to wake up….
What’s ME? My only guess would be “manifold Earth” but that’s too close to being actually true to be correct.
ME = Middle Earth?
Donald J. Trump has not endorsed the flat earth theory. Nor has he disavowed it.
IMO, he would endorse this theory if a certain amount of money were involved.
Admittedly, though, would believing in a flat Earth really be out of character for Trump?
Snopes is having a field day this election.
The main question I have about the flat earth thing is why? What’s the point of this conspiracy? Are the lizard-people involved?
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-nenqdUq7hdc/TeAHbB0az_I/AAAAAAAABtQ/TQaW3ug5M0c/s1600/we-see-what-you-did-there-cat-cats-kitten-kitty-pic-picture-funny-lolcat-cute-fun-lovely-photo-images.jpg
“ME” doesn’t appear to be common flat earther terminology, but given the references to the Goddess, I would assume it means “Mother Earth”.
I worry about you sometimes.
Wow, the choice of snark is endless.
a) If you’re beliefs are so bizarre that Donald Trump’s endorsement would make them seem more plausible, maybe you should rethink your position?
b) This is what you get when you study Geography at Trump University.
c) Trump doesn’t support either the heliocentric or geocentric models. Trump’s theory is egocentrism.
d) Something about oranges? Getting tired now.
I’m pretty sure this is literally the most election year in U.S. history, and probably world history tbh.
Erm. Wow. I can’t begin to unpack all the sad here.
Only slightly OT
When I heard (yesterday — how long ago it seems now) that Trump had invited Gennifer Flowers to the debate and she had accepted, I was so stoked!
My only fear was that the Trump campaign would back out of it. And now (today — insert sadface here) they’ve gone and done it!
Hillary would have been as cool as a cucumber. In fact, Trump could have invited all of Bill’s extracurricular paramours, and she would have remained unfazed.
Yes, some of his lovers would have had to stand in the back of the room.
Some would have had to congregate in the hall outside.
A larger crowd would have had to stand outside the auditorium, with a line that snaked across the parking lot and possibly into the next state.
Hillary would have remained unfazed.
And some of Trump’s most die-hard female supporters would have changed their minds on the spot.
I’m sure that Kellyanne Conway is to blame for reneging on this sacred invitation. She’s very smart and tuned into the USA gestalt.
It’s so unfortunate that she’s Satan incarnate!
We haven’t lived through it yet….
@Victorious Parasol
I hope that things are going well.
Trump would announce he was a Flat Earther if he thought it would get him votes. And if it later appeared that being a Flat Earther would actually cause him to lose votes, he would deny he’d ever said that the earth was flat.
The Dumpster got the repub nomination on the unspoken promise to make it legal to publicly abuse women, non-whites, non-Christians and non-cis/het people… he LITERALLY got the nomination without EVER specifically advancing any other agenda. Am I wrong??? Did I miss something else?? This election could not be any more bizarre if we DID have a flat-earth candidate!
I’d rather see Brandon Flowers at the debate than Gennifer Flowers. Especially if they had him perform a song as the opening act.
Kat
The way I read it, Flowers had accepted the invitation and then thought better of it so decided not to attend. For any of Bill Clinton’s mistresses and flings to attend the debate after being invited by DJT points to their inability to see he intends to USE THEM hoping to get to Hillary…and in response to her inviting Marc Cuban.
She invites Marc Cuban, his response (at least initially) is to invite one of Bill Clinton’s mistresses.
They really captured his speaking style.
Conspiracy theories, Trump, cat memes, suspect capitalization. What are we thinkin? Peak internet? Not quite there yet? Nevermind, it can always get worse…
@Axe
Add Shrek, a bit more anime, drake, everybody mashups, react/social prank harassment, public porn, and tech fetishists and maybe you reached peak internet. But at that point if that happens it would be nothing less than pure anarchy, so I’m pretty sure that it won’t happen.
We will also need someone screaming world star, and a dog running around all over the place.
@Oogly. Not Shrek. Minions.