Categories
alpha males crackpottery hillary clinton narcissism trump whaaaaa? yeah totally sure right

Trump superfan Mike Cernovich thinks he caused Hillary’s recent illness … WITH A TWEET

Cerno the Magnificent
Cerno the Magnificent

It’s not news that alt-right lawyer and juice enthusiast Mike Cernovich is a little, well, off.

Now he’s taken that weirdness to a whole new level with a post suggesting that he and other Trump supporters caused Hillary to get sick … with their minds. Or at least with their Tweets.

Life is about feeling the music rather than listening to the words. … 

When you feel what I’m writing, when you look behind the text, you see something far deeper and more spiritual.

What if we caused sick Hillary to have her coughing fit?

What if we manifested her health problems?

Sound crazy? Then don’t look at the date of this Tweet.

Here’s the tweet that apparently gave Hillary pneumonia:

https://twitter.com/Cernovich/status/756528011617431552?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Cernovich then links to another post of his in which he explains how he made himself, like, the coolest dude on the Internet with the power of his imagination:

I imagined myself becoming the hottest journalist breaking the biggest stories. Then I went to Hungary to expose the media lies about “refugees.” I busted hoaxes, and then I faced down an angry mob of hundreds of people.

I imagined myself changing the culture through the power of my mind. Now I’m making films and my Twitter receives over 30 million views a month, and multiple stories have gone viral.

How do you imagine me?

You imagine me as I imagine myself.

My imagination manifests itself as will, which imposes itself on reality.

Hate to break it to you, dude, but I’m pretty sure most people who are even aware of your existence imagine you just a teensy bit differently than you imagine yourself.

But, hey, maybe he really did give Hillary pneumonia with a tweet. If tweets really do have that kind of power, Donald Trump may soon have to buy some baggier pants — to hide his TAIL.

Keep your eye on Trump’s posterior. We can do this, people!

Subscribe
Notify of
guest

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

96 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
5 years ago

uuuugh, the stupid Law of Attraction nonsense. Mental note – find out what sort of juice Cerno there likes, and avoid it.

Tulse
Tulse
5 years ago

My imagination manifests itself as will, which imposes itself on reality.

I think that means he thinks his will was triumphant.

Seriously, as the election gets closer, the more and more Trump fanatics sound like fascists.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

Is this obsession with the health of the candidates peculiar to this election, or is it a general thing in US politics? (I seem to recall it was a plot point in The West Wing)

It just seems a bit strange from across the pond, especially releasing medical reports.

Dave Alvord
5 years ago

Loved the Cernovich article (9/24) – you totally trolled him – and teased him – but fairly and accurately.

Just be sure – if #CoughingHillary happens on 9/26 – that you do a followup article/interview with Cernovich.

BTW – you also need to do a Troll article on Paul Joseph Watson (@PrisonPlanet) has been hot on #CoughingHillary on his own independent investigations/videos.

Paul always gets hundreds of daily death threats from the Muzzies – so a Troll article on him would make his British heart aglow.

Paul deserves a Troll article hit-piece on him.

And remember – when/if #CoughingHillary happens – it was directly because of Mike, Paul, Pepe, Harambe, the Alt-Right, and…of course…

Our Lord and Savior Kek.

Praise Kek.

Amen

Ariblester
Ariblester
5 years ago

Y’know, “I reject your reality and substitute my own” is meant as a joke, not a mantra to live your life by.

Ariblester
Ariblester
5 years ago

Re: The new troll

See guys, Milo Y was right; the alt-right is just made of young men who like to have a little goof, a little jape every now and then. They can take it as well as they can dish it out! They don’t mind you making fun of Cernovich. It’s all fun and games, you see, they don’t really mean anything with their casual racism and sexism.

Except that they do, and in the same breath they are using anti-Muslim slurs unironically, and they are attempting to kill Hillary Clinton with the power of their considerable minds.

Btw, “topkek” is Turkish. It’s a brand of cupcakes made in a Muslim-majority country. Let that irony sink in.

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
5 years ago

Jebus this guy is such a sad goofball. He really believes other people are as in love with him as he is with himself. Remember when he thought he was having sex with Seth Rogen’s wife by tweeting at her?

I saw the clip of Juicebro on Red Eye, and he came across as incredibly nervous, insecure and inexperienced. He spoke exclusively in pre-memorized little speeches which had nothing to do with the questions, and he kept a stoneface the whole time, not daring to look anyone else in the eye.

Seems like cucky behavior to me.

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo

Just what we need. The alt right version of Uri Gellar. *rolls eyes*

Is this obsession with the health of the candidates peculiar to this election, or is it a general thing in US politics?

As David said, it’s happened before to a lesser extent. But I think it’s so extreme right now because it’s socially unacceptable to come right out and say “women are inferior and irrational and therefore not qualified to be president.” So the right and other assorted misogynists have to come up with some other excuse to say her (female) body disqualifies her from the presidency.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

@ David Futrelle

Ah, right. Makes sense. It really is no barrel bottom unscraped isn’t it?

(I remember Reagan’s rather witty response to that issue. The “not making an issue of my opponents youth and inexperience”.)

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

Missed edit window but thanks WWTH too.

OoglyBoggles
OoglyBoggles
5 years ago

No Mike you’re not psychic.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
5 years ago

@Daily Alloted Sodium
Don’t put Ceratosaurus’ blog as your nym link. That’s just sad. Daddy Celery ain’t gonna love you more, cos you pimp his website. Relax…

Wait, is this Mayor Dave Alvord, laughingstock of Utah? Doubt it, but I wouldn’t be entirely surprised…

Moggie
Moggie
5 years ago

IP:

I saw the clip of Juicebro on Red Eye, and he came across as incredibly nervous, insecure and inexperienced. He spoke exclusively in pre-memorized little speeches which had nothing to do with the questions, and he kept a stoneface the whole time, not daring to look anyone else in the eye.

Really? I thought he was a lawyer? They tend to do pretty well on camera, what with law being a branch of the performing arts.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

Loved the Cernovich article (9/24) – you totally trolled him – and teased him – but fairly and accurately.

What forum is this person accustomed to using? Can anyone tell by the weird syntax here?

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
5 years ago

Oh hey, a troll. Hello, Dick Mash.

ETA : @PoM

We’ve seen that before, haven’t we ? Either that, or ATALT, the second T being Trolls.

I guess both hypotheses are valid.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
5 years ago

Damn you, edit window ! You have foiled my plans again.

the second T

I meant the first one. If you learn anything from me, learn this : don’t drunk-post when you haven’t slept in more than 40 hours.

Margaret Pless
Margaret Pless
5 years ago

How do you imagine me?

You imagine me as I imagine myself.

My imagination manifests itself as will, which imposes itself on reality.

Mike Cernovich’s “Gorilla mindset” ideology resembles less of a personal philosophy of self-improvement than it does a sub-manic state. I mean this literally: according to Michael, his mom has severe bipolar disorder, and Mike himself developed an unspecified mental illness in his late twenties which “brought him close to suicide many times.” He claims to have cured his problems with juice diets and mindset exercises, but quotes like these from him leave me feeling uncertain; maybe it didn’t work as well as he thinks it did. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fy6se-zYJNE&feature=youtu.be&t=270)

My more (and more recent) thoughts about Mr. Cernovich are available here.

MexicanHotChocolate
MexicanHotChocolate
5 years ago

Mike Cernovich is as silly as Pat Robertson. At least Pat Robertson thinks he can HEAL people.

EJ (The Orphic Lizard)

Margaret, I have enormous respect for you and I think you bring great benefit to the internet, but could you please not ascribe Cernovich’s dickish behaviour to psychological issues? Plenty of people with manic-depressive disorder manage to avoid being the sort of asshole that he is. Arguably, that’s the one unfortunate thing about him which is not his fault.

I enjoyed your article on Cernovich immensely, by the way.

kupo
kupo
5 years ago

If you learn anything from me, learn this : don’t drunk-post when you haven’t slept in more than 40 hours.

Damn, I can’t even imagine what that state of mind must be like. Hope you’re not still having that paranoia. Hugs.

Dreadnought
Dreadnought
5 years ago

Hey maybe I too can impose my imagination upon reality. I’ll be spending the rest of the weekend imagining a world free from pain, suffering, and these alt-right dipshits.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
5 years ago

@Margaret Pless and EJ

EJ, thank you. I loved the article, but the whole “he must still be mentally ill” thing really pulled the wrong string. I didn’t know how to react to that but you did, so thanks again.

@kupo

Thanksies ! I’m alright though. It’s mostly warm and fuzzy right now, and I’m actually feeling sleepy so I know tonight’s not insomnia night and that alone feels so damn good.

I’m definitely gonna freak out if another one of those huge spiders shows up though. I’m pretty arachnophobic and those fuckers are so big that if the room is silent enough I hear ’em before I see ’em… But aside from that and for now, the paranoia and fear are gone.

In fact I’m gonna get some sleep right now. In a bit. Soonish. So many comments to reply to.

Margaret Pless
Margaret Pless
5 years ago

Hey EJ –

I understand. I’m sorry if I offended you or anyone else by obliquely comparing them to Cernovich, or if it seemed like I was letting him off the hook because he might have mental problems. He most certainly has a host of other problems unrelated to mental status, which are the real reasons he feels the need to cultivate an online persona much grander than himself through near-constant misrepresentation.

Thanks for reading!

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
5 years ago

imagination manifests itself as will, which imposes itself on reality.

Maggie Simpson, take the wheel…

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
5 years ago

So guys,

Whaddya figure the odds are that Dave Alvord is really – Mick Dash?

Yeah, that guy that heaped lie upon lie about being in a ‘gender studies’ course – without knowing thing one about what gender studies – or university – are actually about.

And the guy – you know, that guy – that exploded in brilliant fashion when properly prodded.

Oh, and of course – you can’t forget the fact that he took someones personal story of abuse from that very same thread – and twisted it to score a cheap point.

I seem to remember – he liked dashes a lot too. Kinda like this Dave Alvord jerk.

Whaddya figure the odds are that it’s the same guy?

uncultured marxist
uncultured marxist
5 years ago

Keep your eye on Trump’s posterior.

pass

msexceptiontotherule
msexceptiontotherule
5 years ago

@Scildfreja Unnýðnes

Hey, you’re the one who gets me all hot and bothered with your numbers and statistics! So you tell me, what are the odds? (gets comfortable in front of the computer, turns down lights and clicks play on itunes “sexy sexy songs” playlist)

😛

EJ (The Orphic Lizard)

No offence was taken, Margaret. Thank you for continuing to be as awesome as you have long been.

peaches
peaches
5 years ago

Sinkable John-man, pal, been there. *salutes with iced tea*

This place is cool, those of us with mental illness can be open about it. Is it because there’s a ban on armchair diagnosis? Probably not, but the mindfullness it instills might.

(Not a dig at Margaret Pless-everyone does it. I do it all the time, I call it ‘bipolar goggles’. I think since I have it, everyone does.)

Paranoia is a real problem too. Last week I decided that two of my medications that looked very similar were in fact the same one, and avoided one of them for fear of overdose. Last night I went to check them again and lo, there were in fact two separate pills. So I started taking them again.

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
5 years ago

@Moggie

He’s a LINO (Lawyer In Name Only). Like Margaret Pless wrote, he’s never been a practicing lawyer.

Moggie
Moggie
5 years ago

IP:

He’s a LINO (Lawyer In Name Only). Like Margaret Pless wrote, he’s never been a practicing lawyer.

Ohhh, that makes sense. The fake attorney is an interesting subspecies of Internet tough guy. I hope he eventually finds a way to feel good about himself without the posturing, because that’s not a good way to live.

http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llz351yX6q1qis4q9o1_500.gif

OoglyBoggles
OoglyBoggles
5 years ago

@Scildfreja
Meet the Incredible Shifting Troll! Witness him as he changes faces and forms right before your very eyes! In an instant he can turn from a thin skinned engineer to a shoddy rendition of a Gender Studies student, from rugged survivalist to the two headed snake that always speak in opposites, he can do it all!

Available whenever on WeHuntedTheMammoth! Come on down to witness this spectacle!*

*Warning witnessing the IST over a lengthy period of time and engaging with it has side effects of; nausea, irritation, bemusement, tired beligerance and other common ailments. If the IST begins to act incredibly hostile to the point of harming the audience contact the nearest Ringmaster so the Ringmaster can remove IST from the premises.

A wolverine
A wolverine
5 years ago

I can’t believe that the Hillary health weirdos think Mike the Cum Wizard is useful to them.

I mean his beliefs on health are just so wacky that you’d think even the people who are positive that Hillary has a half dozen terminal diseases would take a step back from him

mcbender
5 years ago

Does anyone else find it incredibly ironic this misogynistic douchefuck is now promoting the ideas of The Secret, when that book was written by a woman?

(Margaret Pless, that post was fascinating)

Margaret Pless
Margaret Pless
5 years ago

@mcbender

I’m not. Michael was house-husband to a former law school classmate for years, but when she divorced him, he demanded (and received) a sizeable alimony payment. Thing is, *Michael’s ex-wife* actually is a very successful lawyer for a hugely successful tech company, whereas Mike wrote Crime and Federalism. At that point, he had no problem demanding a large alimony payment from his ex-wife’s stock awards. And FWIW, he got it – his ex-wife paid him about $2 million to go away. So no, I would say he has no problem reaping the benefits of someone else’s work when it suits him.

Remmet
Remmet
5 years ago

Woah, that’s some Exalted shit right there. There’s an Abyssal charm that allows you to cause physical damage through a letter or similar. So, Mike’s an Abyssal?

(For those that don’t know, Exalted is a tabletop RPG made by White Wolf. It’s pretty epic)

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
5 years ago

@Ogglybooglie, (sorry, your name’s just so fun)

http://youtu.be/NYdE1b-s5S0?t=269

@msexceptiontotherule

oh, oh my. Well, I guess I better, shouldn’t I 😮

There are algorithms that can be used to determine similarities in the written word; in grammar and vocabulary and word choice. Topic similarity is something that has a lot of activity right now. TF-IDF (term frequency–inverse document frequency) is an algorithm which determines how important a given word is to a document, for example. This algorithm doesn’t just count frequency, but actually examines sentence and paragraph structure to determine what the topics of each linguistic unit are, and then ranks and organizes all the words by those metrics.

(… holy noodle. Why haven’t I done that to the GamerGate corpus yet? That’s practically begging for semantic analysis. Next time one of those jerks shows up, could just give them the actual lexical breakdown of the people involved.)

If TF-IDF doesn’t slice your pie, then there’s LSA. LSA, or Latent semantic analysis, does similar things to TF-IDF, but instead of the raw lexical decomposition, it crams all of the words int he corpus into a huge matrix and then reduces the matrix down, collapsing similar words together into single rows and adjusting the weights of the rows. This requires some tinkering to get right, and needs to be tuned to the jargon of the corpus you’re working with, but the end result is a very robust system that can be used to compare entries. So, after training such a system on Mick Dash’s commentary, the resulting network could be used to get a similarity score between the two.

And then there’s LSA’s dark voodoo magic twin, LDA, or Latent Dirichlet allocation. It’s a related but newer technique, doing the same general procedure but… well, there’s some serious black magic going on in the term collapsing. It uses a probabilistic, Bayesian method which is sort of… er, well, you see, it sort of learns the topics as it goes. Where LSA assumes that the corpus is all about Topic A (in our case, the topic being “Mick Dash”), LDA assumes that the corpus is about Topic A, but is mixed with a whole bunch of other crufty nonsense. So it probabilistically slices the whole globby corpus into what it thinks the topics are, and its slices get more and more accurate and refined as the algorithm proceeds.

That’s only a slim sliver of what could be done to weed out whether Troll A is actually Troll B. It’d work better on the mendacious, long-winded trolls like MarkoMark or MiggyToe, given that they’ve got a larger corpus to work with. But, still. Many-bladed are the arms which I wield; many links are in the chain of my armour.

http://www.ecorazzi.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/candles.jpg

msexceptiontotherule
msexceptiontotherule
5 years ago

@Scildfreja Unnýðnes

Dark voodoo magic twin, you say?

My god we need to clone you and distribute the clones amongst those of us here who LOVE your mind. No clones for the troll(s) though – wait….hmmmmmm….how do you feel about your clones making their heads (the troll[s]) implode?

Btw, the mister said to tell you “thanks” for him! (wink)

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
5 years ago

Baww, you guyse, you’re too much. Cloning me would be a really bad idea, I promise. I don’t think the internet could handle that level of dorkitude.

I’ve been thinking of ways to make troll heads heads pop, though! Like I said – why haven’t I just jammed all the gamergate garbage into an LDA stack or something? I mean, it might be just the ticket for distinguishing between the gators and the people who oppose the gators.

I gotta wonder if that’s the sort of thing that could be handy in creating a really robust gator filter? Or just something as simple as a paper that says “You say it’s about ethics in games journalism, huh? Here’s ten gigabytes of evidence that it’s about harassment and misogyny.”

Honestly, I just want to smack’em with science a little. They seem to think that rationality is their private party and anyone who disagrees with them is just being emotional. Dropping a load’a science-rocks on their heads just feels so damn good 😀

Anyways, you two have fun doing your own science! 😉

Monster-Teeth
Monster-Teeth
5 years ago

So what crazy shit is Mike Cernovich putting in that juice of his?

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

@Scildfreja

Seems like the first step in making GG’s heads asplode is to make them think and take in information, and that ain’t easy. People who are impervious to facts, impervious to words, are just annoying and tedious, not fun to me. Sadly I have a lot of those types in my life right now, and it’s tiring to put effort into a conversation only to realize that everything I’ve said has run straight through without stopping.

OoglyBoggles
OoglyBoggles
5 years ago

@PoM
I don’t know which brand is worse to me the folk will that try to make things falsely equal like saying that feminists are worse than antifeminists then packpedal to get middle ground, or the ones who keep saying “projection” like a magic word and sourceless assertions. The former pisses me off because its so smarmy, the other annoys me because they won’t stop for so long.

FunnyVoice
FunnyVoice
5 years ago

@Margaretpless

Thank you for those articles. I don’t blame you for your assessment of him, because he’s essentially selling alt-right, toxic masculinity as a life-style choice like any other fitness fad. (And sadly some people subscribe to this thought) He’s completely scrapped it to appeal to his Trump/Alt-Right fanbase since that’s all he posts about, especially in one of his recent articles where he goes “I don’t support the alt-right, but I want them to succeed in every way.”

His attitude is bursting at the seems from how often he posts on social media and overreacts to any descent. As they say, monkeys with smaller testicles yell louder.

epitome of incomprehensibility

@mcbender – Oh yes, The Secret – that’s what this reminded me of, where “positive thinking makes you more likely to succeed” got turned into “you can bend reality to your will IF YOU BUY MY BOOK AND RELATED MERCHANDISE”. Though I’m not sure “let’s hope Hillary Clinton gets sick” counts as positive thinking.

@Scildfreja – ooh, that stuff is fascinating. I saw some research presentations on programming-aided linguistics, and one of them was about making machine translation better. The problem with machine translation is that it often doesn’t get the context right (e.g. a funny Google Translate moment of mine: “chère” in a letter greeting became “expensive” instead of “dear”). The researcher’s solution was to feed her program a large corpus of text – she used Wikipedia – to get it to recognize the most common word combinations. I think she was using Python, and of course she couldn’t stuff all of Wikipedia into it, so fancy database stuff was involved.

Not that I’m telling you anything you don’t already know 🙂

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
5 years ago

Yup! That’s basically the trick, @epitome of incomprehensibility. Figure out a classifier and cramallama the whole ding-dang-dictionary into it, and see what falls out the other side. Python’s great for that – even though it’s slow as heck, you’re generally spending way more time waiting for database or network calls anyways, so the slow processing’s not that big of a deal.

I personally prefer to work in Java, but I’ve used all sorts of stuff for it, and I gotta say that Python’s one of the quickest for scrubbin’ up quick prototypes.

(It’s absolutely terrible in a few ways, though, and its enforced whitespace makes me twitchy sometimes, but still)

I am hoping that Scala continues to grow, because it seems the best of both worlds – Java’s speed and robust VM, with Python’s quick prototyping and legible code. There’s some funky stuff goin’ on in Eclipse when it starts interacting with Maven and Cassandra and Spark and all the other greebles I have running, though, so it may have to wait awhile.

Anyways! Dork stuff, fun!

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

As they say, monkeys with smaller testicles yell louder.

Not cool.

Ooglyboggles
5 years ago

@PoM
Yeah, monkeys have more self respect than them.

Handsome "Punkle Stan" Jack

As they say, monkeys with smaller testicles yell louder.

Seconding POM. Not cool.

brian
brian
5 years ago

Why is that “not cool”?
I’d agree that, in general, insulting people based on supposed genital size is a stupid and “not cool” but given that Juicebro’s alleged virility and “potency” is part of his whole schtick (Isn’t he the guy who talked about how his, um, his “personal juice,” let’s say, was addictive to women?), it seems like a reasonable and fair jab.