If a recent conversation on the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit is any indication, MGTOWs remain baffled by and terrified of the human vagina.
In the midst of one of that subreddit’s typically dreadful discussions, the subject of women in the military comes up. One Reddit MGTOW lets it be known that he “f**king hope[s] women get drafted some day.”
One of his comrades steps in to MGTOWsplain just why he thinks that would be a bad, bad thing:
So … how would that work, exactly?
Either Some_one498 thinks that
- Our enemies have secret squads of vagina-sniffing dogs that can detect the scent of menstrual blood from miles away, or
- Women are so incapacitated by the monthly visit from Aunt Flo that they’ll just lie there and let enemy soldiers capture them
I made Some_one498’s quote into a meme using a still from the Goldie Hawn comedy Private Benjamin, but somehow I don’t think it’s going to catch on.
tl;dr: Vaginas are scary!
I think the trolls are actually staying away because this is too stupid a position to be defensible, even for them. “I’m not dying upon that bloody hill.”
I kind of want to drop this article into various points in the manosphere just to see the kind of takes they come up with.
Mating with younger females helps male spiders dodge cannibalism
One I love, that I stole from The Onion: communists in the funhouse
Also, I wasn’t allowed to use euphemisms ever…penis, vagina, period or menstruation…I don’t really use the euphemisms but I love laughing at them. I do, however, use some very creative language regarding stress and my period.
On MGTOW:
Husband: “WHAT DOES IT EVEN MEAN??”
Me: “No one really knows, they certainly don’t go their own way”
After all this talk of bon-bons and red velvet I had to stop by the store and pick up some pumpkin puree. We’ll see if I have the energy to convert it into bread later. 🙂
Combine this with all the guys afraid of 68-year-old Hillary Clinton getting PMS while President, and you realize a lot of men (and a disturbingly high number of women) have no idea how the female body works.
Back in the ’90s, then-Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich argued against allowing servicewomen to take on combat roles because “females have biological problems staying in a ditch for thirty days because they get infections.”
And let us never forget the NASA personnel asking Sally Ride if 100 tampons would be sufficient for a two-week space mission.
P.S. feeeeeeeeeemales
I enjoy the Chinese military is on Parade (all those red flags), taking the elevator in The Overlook Hotel and cattle-skull issues. My son of an obgyn husband once told me that anatomical diagrams of the female reproductive system reminded him of O’Keefe’s cattle skull. He’s not wrong.
Fellow vagina-havers, we may have discovered the ultimate anti-pickup technique. Should you be approached by a PUA, MRA, MGTOW or similar, look them square in the eye and say “I am having my period right now. I am bleeding from my vagina. There are clots. Big ones.”
During your next period, take a few photos of the used don’t-bleed-down-my-leg method of your choice. Keep them on hand. Should you receive an unsolicited dick pic, send him an unsolicited Used Tampon or Full Diva Cup pic. See if he continues the harassment after that.
I think I’m onto something here.
@kupo, Buy extra, go to Tastykitchen.com and look up “pumpkin baked oatmeal.” Wonderful recipe for when you have no energy— quick clean-up as well.
@Aunt Podger
Muffins are already in the oven, but they called for less than half a can, so I still have enough to try that oatmeal recipe later. I wonder if it can be converted to an overnight recipe–I love overnight slow cooker oatmeal. Thanks for sharing!
If being on your period can attract bears, how do any women manage to live in Canada without there being an increase in news reports of women on their periods being chased by bears?
Has to be a conspiracy on the part of the media! The only thing that makes sense!
P.S.
It’s shark week. As of Monday.
What? For real?!? Huh.
…A little off-topic, but a while ago I thought of a way of demystifying PMS symptoms for those who’ve never had them. Imagine you’re:
a) constipated and therefore bloated, with an uncomfortable and maybe cramping abdomen
b) have had 2-3 hours less sleep than normal, so you’re tired, not necessarily grumpy but more likely to be grumpy if the occasion should arise, and perhaps have a headache
See? Not terribly mysterious or unimaginable… But then again, that’s just what it feels like for me. I thought of that because a guy friend expressed sympathy that women had to go through “tougher health issues” and mentioned periods. He wasn’t all ew-gross about it, and nowhere near as ridiculous as the people David quoted, but I still thought it was a bit… overstated? I don’t know. Plus, I think men and women are pretty even when it comes to health problems. Thoughts?
How sad to learn all these euphemisms at a time when I have increasingly-little use for them.
(If I am not at menopause, I am at least at meno-super-slo-mo)
@epitome of incomprehensibility – wasn’t there a persistent story a while back regarding army-issued undergarments where someone discovered that ‘average B cup size’ was taken to mean ‘Most women are B-cup, so order all B-cup size bras for army-issued undergarments’.
I’m still not sure if that one was real or not, it sounds so bizarre.
Again, eh, as far as periods go, mine involved vomiting and terrible pain and two days diarrhea each time. The pain was really bad, and could interfere with me walking, let alone doing anything else.
Apparently it runs in the family, according to my mother.
@epitome of incomprehensibility
I think a lot of people conflate PMS and PMDD, and a lot of people also don’t realize how much it can vary from one person to the next.
For me, if I’m symptomatic it’s more like a bad flu. I’ll have diarrhea, abdominal cramps so bad I can’t get our of bed, headache so bad I can’t move my head much, lower back pain so bad I can’t stand up, achy muscles, severe fatigue, brain fog, forgetfulness, swollen ankles, and really heavy bleeding. Some of those symptoms last for up to 3 weeks at varying levels of severity.
Thankfully that’s rare anymore and lately it’s more like what you described.
They tell the story of the origin of the “periods attract bears” myth on an episode of Stuff Mother Never Told You. Apparently, there was a mass bear mauling at one of the parks, possibly Yellowstone, and a random park ranger who told a reporter, “Well, maybe there was a menstruating woman in the party,” when asked why it happened. So, some speculating jackass ignited a tinder box of the collective brain, and that was that.
I’m also mildly certain the Mammotheers already know that your average shark knows the difference between uterine sloughage and actual blood the way most of us humans can tell the difference between ice cream and the picture on the box.
Since we’re talking periods, mine are usually very unpleasant (with more intense symptoms than average but not as bad as Steampunked–my condolences) but I can usually grit my teeth, take a pain reliever and push through anything. Keeping chocolate on hand helps.
I mostly avoid euphemisms but sometimes I find myself calling my period “Morgana” (like in Merlin), “the clock-and-calendar syndrome”, “riding the cotton broomstick” or “red tide”. I usually just say period though.
My symptoms are horrible cramps, headaches, irritability (which goes hand in hand with the cramps), sweet and salty cravings, overall bloating (especially in the belly, face and ankles), heavy bleeding and fatigue
I like it.
Seriously? Wow, at a cost of about $10,000 per pound to launch stuff on the space shuttle 100 tampons for a two-week mission would have been a huge waste of money .
@Dipytich: Thanks! This OP came a couple days too late–ah well I can always hope for another “not-the-period!” post to come up during a future period. Till then maybe I can join in on the “period talk keeps the trolls away” party.
Shaenon:
I’m scared to ask what the heck is “reasoning” was.
Fabe:
I know right? I don’t typically reach number 100 until at least the third week of my period.
@epitome
Wikipedia has a hubpage on “Male genital diseases”. Some of that stuff has a female bodied equivalent (either may be more common), some of it’s not that big a deal unless you’re tryna conceive, some is more odd or embarrassing than outright dangerous, and some is truly terrible. Tesicular torsion is fuckin nightmare fuel. Tried lookin at hormone related issues (eg hypoandrogenism), but my eyes glazed over from all the jargon
Not sure how to make a comparison between the sexes (and how intersex folks fit). Even if I could, comparing health problems would probably seem a bit ‘wut abowt teh menz’ coming from a dude anyway *shrug*
My PMS is different every single month. Sometimes I barely notice it. Sometimes I have the works. Crankiness, fatigue, cravings, bloating, zits, body aches even clutziness.
My period only lasts 2-3 days but I usually get fairly bad cramps.
Even at its worse I’m still completely functional though.
@WWTH: I’m glad you’re also completely functional even on your worst periods. So much for being “incapacitated” lol
Mine typically lasts 5 days and I always get the Katie-damned cramps (even during PMS). I once thought being a redhead was a factor in menstrual symptom severity (especially with cramps and bleeding)…turns out that was a myth.
Urgh. Mine varied from nausea/ bloating/cramping / lower pain threshold/ worsening of anxiety and or depression symptoms/ bizarre ass cravings for all the fats, salts, and vinegar of the world to nearly nothing. My body would get creative, flip the 1d6 on what it’d afflict me with, and go “And THIS month’s special is moodiness, fatigue, and dill pickle cravings!”. The actual period was a relief because it was at least just physical discomfort and not the horrible things hormone fluctuations did to my brain.
I kept my ovaries after my hysterectomy, so I still get symptoms, but they’re not as bad most of the time. And hygiene products and pregnancy are happily a nonissue.