If a recent conversation on the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit is any indication, MGTOWs remain baffled by and terrified of the human vagina.
In the midst of one of that subreddit’s typically dreadful discussions, the subject of women in the military comes up. One Reddit MGTOW lets it be known that he “f**king hope[s] women get drafted some day.”
One of his comrades steps in to MGTOWsplain just why he thinks that would be a bad, bad thing:
So … how would that work, exactly?
Either Some_one498 thinks that
- Our enemies have secret squads of vagina-sniffing dogs that can detect the scent of menstrual blood from miles away, or
- Women are so incapacitated by the monthly visit from Aunt Flo that they’ll just lie there and let enemy soldiers capture them
I made Some_one498’s quote into a meme using a still from the Goldie Hawn comedy Private Benjamin, but somehow I don’t think it’s going to catch on.
tl;dr: Vaginas are scary!
http://i60.tinypic.com/e830b5.png
They attract bears!
So don’t send women into battle with Canada! Or Alaska!
OMGads not Aunt Flo! She’d never betray me-*collapses*
So, I’m confused: Are these guys repulsed by our periods, or secretly attracted to them (like sharks)? And also, when ARE they going to just go the fuck AWAY, already?
Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think these guys have ever been in the military in their lives.
I have quite a few good euphemisms for periods. I used to like ‘Captain Scarlett’, sometimes you get a Mysteron and need a packet of Angel Interceptors. You can guess what they are. Riding the cotton donkey, Mr Blobby and United playing at home are funny ones too. 🙂
I remember when the junior high I attended was being renovated and a new girls’ locker room was being built. There was a rumor that the boys would be moved into the old girls’ locker room, and the boys were, like, “Noooooooo, ewwwwww, girls have had their peeeeeeeeeriods all over that shower room floor!” Did I go to school with future miggy-toads?
I don’t… Nobody is going to bleed all over a communal shower floor, unless they are unfortunate enough to unexpectedly start their period mid-shower.
@Viscaria
Perhaps they thought Carrie was a documentary.
My favorite euphemism for periods is either “shark week” or “communism”.
This would really blow his mind. Or perhaps Sgt Shane Ortega, a trans man. I dare say he would consider him a “bloke in a dress”. These MGTOW guys do struggle with life don’t they. Meanwhile everyone else is just getting on with it.
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/sep/17/transgender-soldier-is-first-female-to-serve-on-the-front-line
Re: period euphemisms, I just say Mama Monthly came to visit and hit me with her big red bag. It’s an accurate description for how it feels for the first 2-3 days. But if I had to flee from an enemy, I’d still be able to do it, just maybe a shitload more exhausted afterwards.
@Paradoxical Intention: I think you might enjoy this.
So, not aware that there are ways to suppress the menstrual cycle are you MGTOWs?
The lack of basic knowledge is astounding. My secret hope is that many of these people are 12 year olds just trying to be “adult” and they’ll grow out of it. Statements like this make me think it might be so.
My favorite euphemism for menstruation is “rooting for ‘Bama.” (One or more of the University of Alabama’s sports teams is named the “Crimson Tide,” and it’s hard to see this mentioned by supporters without seeing their slogan attached— “Roll, Tide, Roll.”)
“More easily captured”? That, alas, is true. To capture the menstruating person, you’ll need to prop a really big box on a forked stick (image search “box trap” or search Bugs Bunny cartoons on Youtube for setup) over a heating pad and a bottle of NSAID’s, but watch out! We’re ornery when the box gets opened and “pacification with cupcakes” is a dangerous myth perpetuated by the stand-up comedy community for their own grisly and sadistic viewing pleasure.
These MGTOW have it all wrong. Premenstrual soldiers are the best soldiers. It’s because we get uncontrollable cravings. We’ll eat the enemy soldiers. You just have to make sure there’s an Olive Garden on base. After all, females expect to eat there daily.
I mean, they just have to offer us bon-bons and we’ll come willingly.
OMG, yes!
This has happened to me more times than I can count.
Get my period.
Get captured by enemy bloodhounds.
They won’t let me go until I scratch them behind the ears and give them treats.
I’ve begun to realize that some men think women are incapacitated by everything. I went to a theatre conference this summer where a young man wrote a play about menopause, which showed women being so incapacitated by menopause they couldn’t do their job, they didn’t know where they were most of the time, and they constantly hallucinated. How anyone could think this was an accurate description of something most women go through at some point in their life, I don’t know.
Not to mention that, with the cultural references he used for her childhood, he must think women go through menopause in their early 30s.
I’m fond of “Ms. Scarlett has returned to Tara” and “dishonorable discharge from the uterine navy”.
I think Tampax ads should start depicting SERE training camps instead of gauzy beaches. Gauzy SERE training camps, though.
Fallen to the communists is a good euphemism.
My personal term is “the Red Sea”.
And if the enemy offer me some decent cramp relief, I’m defecting. 😉
“Captain, the enemy is attacking from south-west with their division of angry sharks!” – “Oh, crap. It’s… You know… Seargent Feeble Feemale is on her… I mean it’s that time of the… You know what I mean, Major Miggs, don’t you?”
Major Miggs: “harglbrmffft!” (Explodes in humble silence)
Seargent Feemale: “All this war and stuff REALLY gets on my NERVES!!! Can somebody just shoot us all and give me some bon-bons already?”
Angry Shark: “Hello Mylady, happy to oblige!” (Chaos, darkness, apocalypse, alpha sharks ruling the world. The end)
@kupo, I am a military brat and have been in fairly serious relationships with many soldiers, and can confirm unequivocally that pretty much any soldier will come willingly when offered bon-bons. I recommend the ones known as “Martha Washingtons” if your backyard POW camp has been looking anemic.