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"ethics" men who should not ever be with women ever MGTOW misogyny reddit

Whaa!? Men Going Their Own Way actually consider going their own way

Clipperton Island: It has a tree
Clipperton Island: It has a tree

Earlier today, one apparently desperate MGTOW went to the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit to ask the regulars for advice on fleeing the country so he can skip out on paying alimony and child support.

Helpful commenters suggested various alternatives, from faking his own death to literally joining the French Foreign legion (turns out he’s too old for that). The OP is also considering the possibility of living “like Rambo, in the woods.”

But my favorite answer came from a dude living on a boat:

Mike637 3 points 9 hours ago Buy a small sailboat and go. There are tons of deserted island and countries that are not going to care about your visa status unless you are committing crimes. Sailing is easy. If you have a decent vehicle, I bet you could show up on the Gulf coast and trade it for a capable sailboat. I live on a sailboat right now and as soon as I am finished fixing it up, I am out of here. I am hoping to be done by the end of October.

I would strongly urge all MGTOWs to consider this alternative. Any kind of boat or boat-like device will do — sailboat, rowboat, giant inflatable duck, pool noodle, you name it.

Aim for one of these islands and you’ll be sitting pretty in no time!

NOTE: Just so you know, the caption for the pic above is kind of a joke. Clipperton Island, a tiny smudge of an atoll 670 miles southwest of Mexico, has more than one tree. It also had birds.

clipbirds

And an abandoned tanker!

clippertonfreighter

MGTOWs! Clipperton island calls for you!

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Ooglyboggles
5 years ago

@Sinkable
Same here, I tried everywhere, but everyplace just mutters “upkeep costs.” What does an uncircumcised man have to do to get some service?

Viscaria
Viscaria
5 years ago

Good luck with your paper, kid. I’m sure it’ll blow the gynocracy wide open. Scoot, now. Vite vite.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
5 years ago

@Oogly

The women I date do keep asking if I have my foreskin before I even introduce myself, though. So at least it’s still a requirement and something I win at. I guess I should wear a t-shirt that states that yes, I do ?

Or would that be in poor taste with regards to Derp “FORESKIN” Moosh ?

Brony, Social Justice Cenobite

@FoxKit
Should I rethink how my experience is informing any of my rhetoric? It’s a tough one to get right because I do oppose it, have not suffered because of it, and want to deal with the dishonest uses of circumcision in feminism related conflicts.

Any suggestions? I don’t deny that it should be challenged and ended, and in the context of needless surgical modifications of people without consent it is horrible. But I’m not aware of it having anything like the social impact of FGM.

FoxKit
FoxKit
5 years ago

I can’t wait to eat read that paper.
comment image

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo

I think that Mesh Haberdashery is wanking here because we destroyed his “arguments” in the other thread. He had to abandon ship and start all over again here. When the hypergamy conversation didn’t work in his favor, he had to bring up circumcision here.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
5 years ago

@Everyone who’s not a troll.

By the way, if the whole foreskin privilege shtick sounds insensitive, I’m sorry and I’ll stop if you want me to. I get sick of idiots equating circumcision to FGM and blaming feminism for it, so I wouldn’t be surprised if I sound like an asshole to anyone but myself right now.

Brony, Social Justice Cenobite

@Sinkable John

That’s pretty much it. I don’t care to hear what he has to say about his foreskin. You wanna talk sexual mutilation, I’m all for it. You wanna blame “the gynocracy” for it, well, no. Just no.

I thought I smelled blood in the water (or is it the ghost of my foreskin?). He just can’t get that the mockery is directed at him and his use of circumcision, not people who don’t like circumcision.

JS
JS
5 years ago

“You let another person change your penis to the Early Jewish Standard when you were too young to fight back? Ewwww….” –idiot troll

Just take one random thing, go above and beyond the call about how it’s somehow damaging to men in general, and then all the points you rebut automatically lose. Get more and more strident, yell the same things louder if people disagree, thus proving that their points are incorrect. The more people disagree with you, the more likely you are to be correct, so never ever consider what people are trying to say. If there’s a way to take something out of context, and make it seem obviously bad, do that, and make sure it’s attributed to one of the people who disagree.

Right? Surely those are the right ways to win an argument.

Bina
5 years ago

@Ooglyboggles:

Remember when we entertained his obvious lies that he was taking a gender studies course?

Yup. And apparently, so does he.

And he still doesn’t realize he’s being trolled right back…

BTW, I still have all my clitoris and labia, not to mention my clitoral hood…guess that makes me a misandrist, eh?

[/TMI]

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
5 years ago

@Milk and Cookies

Do you say the same about female circumcision?

TW: circumcision (both sexes) and a gruesome hypothetical
Can’t speak for anyone else, and I’m not very well versed on feminist viewpoints on these things. That said, yes. I don’t consider circumcision, of anyone’s genitals, to be sexual violence. It’s not the same as rape or sexual assault. It’s a different act

Violence, noun: the act of infringing upon the rights (don’t exist, yadda yadda) of another thru force or threat of same. ‘Sexual’ is a modifier to violence, it contextualizes intent. It’s the difference between simple battery and a hate crime. Now, for something to be sexual violence, the perpetrator has to be sexually motivated. Like if, say, a predator performed clitoridectomies on their victims

Circumcision for religious, cultural, traditional, etc reasons isn’t sexual violence. You may call it genital violence if it makes you feel better. Neither of my parents, nor the doctor (I hope), got me snipped as part of a kink. I don’t know why they did it, and i honestly don’t care. Not remitely rape tho

@Hu’s

The majority of circumcisions worldwide are Islamic ones, if I remember correctly. Muslims circumcise adolescents, not infants

1)Why even bring this up?
2)Don’t use the word Islamic like that
3)The timeframe for khitan varies. Infancy, childhood, adolescence, it depends

@John

I wouldn’t be surprised if I sound like an asshole to anyone but myself right now

Tiny bit…

Handsome "Punkle Stan" Jack

@BIna

Kinda forgot the clitorial hood existed, tbh. I also kinda forgot that some female circumcision just removes the clitorial hood while other completely remove the clitoris all together. Removing just the clitorial hood isn’t as bad as cutting it off and is pretty much equal with penile circumcision, but there’s still the FGM that removes the entire thing, which I think is the more thought of one–or at least it’s what I think of when I think of it.

Anyway, all genital mutations on penis, vaginas and ambiguous genitalia is gross.

I don’t consider circumcision, of anyone’s genitals, to be sexual violence. It’s not the same as rape or sexual assault. It’s a different act

Nope, genital mutilation is just violence, plain and simple, nothing sexual about it.

BGHilton
5 years ago

Student: I’m going to be all controversial and blow my teacher’s mind!

Teacher: Didn’t study, huh?

Other Students: Does this idiot ever want to let someone else get a word in?

Student: Look at these sheeple sighing and drumming their fingers! Their body language tells me how impressed they are!

FoxKit
FoxKit
5 years ago

@Brony, Social Justice Cenobite
Goodness no, you were honest about what you thought and felt of it, you don’t need to color your own experiences for an argument’s sake. I feel there are enough medical arguments against circumcision that it should be done away with, but you don’t need me to help you form your own opinion about it. It certainly doesn’t have the social implications of female genital mutilation. Moreover, it’s usually done with good intentions, many people are led to believe that it’s the most healthy option for a child, despite many studies citing no impact or a negative heath impact from circumcisions. Every circumcised man I know has about your opinion of it–that it’s a thing that happened and that’s just the way you are now, no more, no less. Certainly not something that carries the trauma of sexual violence, aside from a few outlying cases. I have read a few studies about mutilations and the rare death caused by accidents during circumcision, and some psychological trauma from that would be entirely expected, but I don’t think it’s the norm.

Brony, Social Justice Cenobite

@FoxKit
Good to know. I did not think that your comment was directed at me, but I do care about strategy and thought I would ask.

Tessa
Tessa
5 years ago

Handsome “Punkle Stan” Jack:

Nope, genital mutilation is just violence, plain and simple, nothing sexual about it.

Yeah, you see it a lot with these types. They don’t know what the words mean, but they try to use them anyway. In a video game discussion a guy tried to say that because the video game Tomb Raider (the recent reboot) had Lara fighting only men on the island, it was gendered violence against men. It’s hard to take people seriously when they do that.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
5 years ago

@Axe

Yeah I’m done with that then, thanks.

I think Hu’s On First brought it up because the age would matter. As in, infants don’t have a choice, adolescents do ? Could be wrong, maybe they meant something else. At any rate it’s still arguable at best though. Besides if I’m reading Merck Derbs’ figures right, they seem to relate to the US only, so that’s irrelevant anyway.

@Tessa

I’d never heard of that claim before, but it reminds me why I don’t play online anymore unless I’m absolutely sure that I’m only gonna be playing with like-minded people. Got sick of people randomly bringing up Anita Sarkeesian to spew shit about her instead of focusing and shooting straight.

Handsome "Punkle Stan" Jack

@Tessa

Yeah, that has more to do with developers not wanting to make women in games because “women are haaaaaaard to animate”. I mean, men and woman walk exactly the same, just slap a lady model with male movement, done. But I guess they just HAVE to have them SASHAY and, I don’t know, have the boobs jiggle, because just how else would you know they’re women? It’s just such an inconvenience. /s

You know, Bethesda might have buggy games with big concepts but shallow execution, but they make it so both men and women are enemies. Same with a lot of the latest Bioware games. It’s fucking amazing how Bethesda and EA can have games with women enemies but other places can’t, for some reason.

But, to be serious, I’m pretty sure if they did that as a conscious decision and not being just assholes, it’s likely to make Laura seem more “vulnerable” or some shit, make the player feel more fragile because, you know, women are fragile as fuck. That’s why a lot of horror protagonist in third person survival games are women. You know, instead of identifying and wanting to protect the avatar because it’s you and you identify with them, you make them a pretty, young woman so the presumed straight male audience automatically wants to protect her. It’s dumb and gross.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
5 years ago

@Jack

Nope, genital mutilation is just violence, plain and simple, nothing sexual about it

Are you deadpan sarcastically disagreeing with me? Am I missing something?

@John

I think Hu’s On First brought it up because the age would matter. As in, infants don’t have a choice, adolescents do ? Could be wrong, maybe they meant something else. At any rate it’s still arguable at best though. Besides if I’m reading Merck Derbs’ figures right, they seem to relate to the US only, so that’s irrelevant anyway

Your guess is as good as mine

Diptych
Diptych
5 years ago

You know, Bethesda might have buggy games with big concepts but shallow execution, but they make it so both men and women are enemies. Same with a lot of the latest Bioware games. It’s fucking amazing how Bethesda and EA can have games with women enemies but other places can’t, for some reason.

Seriously. Though, y’know what sticks in my craw about Fallout 4? For all the well-written, often quite badass women in the supporting and minor cast – including quite a few raider leaders and other antagonists – there are only four female companions, and two of them are robots. Meanwhile, there are like six or seven companions who are white dudes.

FoxKit
FoxKit
5 years ago

@Brony, Social Justice Cenobite
Why is it that the only strategy I can seem to think of is “My penis is #NotYourShield!”?

I really do give terrible advice.

Ooglyboggles
5 years ago

@FoxKit
So it’s a Cock Block?

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
5 years ago

@FoxKit & Oogly

I laughed so much, thank you thank you thank you. I feel a lot less cranky now.

In other news, there appears to be a Trump drive-by troll on the other thread. Tonight just doesn’t seem to end.

Handsome "Punkle Stan" Jack

@Axe

No, I’m agreeing with you. I can see how it might have came off as deadpan sarcasm, which is actually really funny because that’s my usual sarcasm style that is actually almost completely unreadable in text without being really facetious and thus no longer really deadpan. But, no, I’m agreeing that it’s not sexual violence.

@Diptych

I actually haven’t gotten Fallout 4 because one) I don’t have anything that will play it, and two) I’d rather wait for the $20 GOTY edition you can get in a few years, so I don’t have super strong opinions on anything about it yet. However, we have to give them the benefit of the doubt, one of those white dudes was a robot all along and there is a black guy, plus you got a robobutler that can call you Fuckface. /s

It’s just most Bethesda games I’ve played are big concepts with shallow execution, like Skyrim or Fallout 3. I mean, I love them to death (FO3 not so much) but, come on, you can do better. I believe in you, Bethesda, prove to me you can do it.

FoxKit
FoxKit
5 years ago

@Ooglyboggles
Oh, you!comment image

@Johncomment image

calmdown
calmdown
5 years ago

Yeah Mick, what “right” do you have to your foreskin?

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
5 years ago

@Jack
K

Scolar Visari
Scolar Visari
5 years ago

So what’s a “citizen”? Can anyone tell me?

A citizen accepts personal responsibility for the safety and the body politic defending it with his life.

I remember that from that one movie about a bunch of thirty year olds pretending to be teenagers fighting giant arachnid analogs, which is not so dissimilar from a certain someone pretending to be a student fighting the alleged gynocracy.

That particularly film serves as a good template for what would probably happen if MeGoTOWs were dropped on a deserted island. Just as the hapless Mobile Infantry assumed their conquest of Klendathu would be a cakewalk given their hilariously bad training and doctrine, so too does the present company think that they can eek out an existence on a tiny rock by the immune system or something. As citizens of the Terran Federation went on at length to describe how perfect their completely fictional society was, so too would their purely male counterparts endlessly discuss the collapse of the old matriarchy and the superiority of their own completely fictional society.

Just replace the angry aliens with angry seagulls.

Then again . . . Would not MAN be the alien aggressors?

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
5 years ago

Then again . . . Would not MAN be the alien aggressors?

Seagulls are evil though. Just look at their eyes. You know they’re evil. They have evil, beady eyes.

Tessa
Tessa
5 years ago

Sinkable John:

@Tessa

I’d never heard of that claim before, but it reminds me why I don’t play online anymore unless I’m absolutely sure that I’m only gonna be playing with like-minded people. Got sick of people randomly bringing up Anita Sarkeesian to spew shit about her instead of focusing and shooting straight.

This was in a video game forum, but it’s a common thing. Usually attributed to “male disposability.” THAT’S why men are usually the enemies. Not because men are the default, seen as more competent, and one default male model will often be used to make multiple enemy types. It also isn’t relevant that women are typically made only if their femaleness is needed (sexaaay).

These same guys will then state that feminists would be in an uproar… AN UPROAR if companies made games with more female enemies. Often citing complaints about female non combatant victims in games as their evidence. Ignoring the praise companies like Bethesda (as Handsome Jack mentioned)get for non sexualized female enemies alongside the men, and even their arch nemesis Anita Sarkeesian calling for more nonsexualized female enemies.

OK, I’ll stop ranting now.

Oh wait! Speaking of Handsome Jack, despite how much I loved all 4 Borderlands games, it still bugs me to no end that none of the shooters, not even The Pre-Sequel had standard female non-boss\sidequest enemies. Some of the women in the hub cities mention previously being bandits, so we know they exist.

Enemies said such amusing thing in those games (one enemy type sometimes screams the entire O, that this too too solid flesh soliloquy from Hamlet), I thought it’d be cool if some were women.

Ben
Ben
5 years ago

I am sad that I wasn’t here to bring up Into the Wild and rabbit starvation for Mr. All-Seagulls-All-the-Time, but y’all handled both him and Mr. Circumcision-Is-Rape-Because-It’s-Violence-Against-Genitals really well.

calmdown
calmdown
5 years ago

Of course most enemies are men! They always have much more dangerous jobs! That’s why they are out being bandits and thugs and risking their lives while the protected class of Feeeeeemale NPCs stay home and eat their BonBons!

msexceptiontotherule
msexceptiontotherule
5 years ago

…Bring on the 100th monkey?

Monzach
Monzach
5 years ago

Wow…I went to sleep for, what, seven hours and this thread exploded? ô.Ô

After finishing the thread: Ah, it seems that we were visited by two ghosts of MGTOWs past. Hi trolls, sorry to have missed you, although if I’m being totally honest I’m not really sorry at all. ^_^

Anywho, thank you very much Handsome “Punkle Stan” Jack way back on the first page for replying to me so promptly and also for reminding me of the fact that MGTOWs would probably imagine being one of the leaders in Lord of the Flies when in reality they’d most likely be one of the followers. In fact, I’m fairly sure that they wouldn’t even be one of the named followers, either. Just one of the faceless and nameless mob standing behind their charismatic leader (who incidentally is too filled with macho ego to admit that they’re in way over their head).

Snowberry
Snowberry
5 years ago

You can survive on Clipperton island. Provided that there are only a few people. And you don’t mind a difficult, miserable existence. Protip: don’t eat the neon-orange crabs. They’re poisonous.

People who try that are sooner or later forcefully removed from the island by the French Navy, so it’s not a long-term option.

There are dozens of other uninhabited islands. Hundreds, if you don’t limit it to just the remote ones. Most are either wildlife preserves (which will also get you forcefully removed as soon as someone comes by for a regular check) or are less survivable than Clipperton.

Bakunin
Bakunin
5 years ago

@Tessa

That’s why I’ve been trying to casually refer to half of NPCs in RPG games I play in as female. Not sure if anyone actually notices or pictures them as female, but it only takes two letters’ difference to do it. It’s literally the least I can do. Weirdly, I’ve noticed lately that 90% or so of my RPG characters are women, pen-and-paper and video alike. Thankfully Dark Souls has pretty much gender-neutral armor. Dragon’s Dogma had an excellent character modeler, then screwed the pooch on clothing. Though it was pretty inclusive when it came to relationships, if I remember right. At least Amalur only had the one NPC dressed like a stripper who forgot half her outfit.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
5 years ago

@Tessa

The problem I have with female characters in Bethesda games (and to be fair, a lot of games from a lot of devs, Bioware probably being the exception) is something that I’m probably gonna fail spectacularly at engrishing up properly, so bear with me. I’ll take Skyrim as my main example, because I replayed it a year or so ago and the memory is still fresh.

It’s not so much the generic enemies that bother me, it’s the unique NPCs. Okay, so a lot of them are badass women, right. That’s pretty cool, but… they’re pretty much all the same badass woman, give or take a few exceptions. Male NPCs have personalities and stories and goals etc. They’re not always so well-written, but the effort is there. Female NPCs… well, they have a big sword and a goal. There’s this thin line between badass and robotic, and they’re often on the wrong side of that line – with a few pretty cool exceptions though. I can’t name them because it’s been a while, but for example there’s the hermit archer who lives up in the mountains and offers an odd bit of tutorial that’s so out of the way you wonder what it’s all about. I like the teacher/student moment she offers, and would’ve loved to see more of that character.

But then you have dozens of women who all seem to have the same personality and offer the same patterns of actions. Kick ass, give you a bit of information, kick more ass, invariably show you the same uncrackable shell. I get that it’s a very viable character archetype, but it just feels overused at this point. It’s the “action movie lady character” archetype, the one written by clueless male writers who take guesses at what women supposedly want to see. I don’t mind seeing that in a game that has literal hundreds of speaking characters, but come on, dozens of identical female characters might as well all be the same one, and at least this one can get a story of her own, hopes and dreams and weaknesses that don’t mean she’s not strong. And you don’t only see that in Bethesda games to be fair, it’s pretty much the same thing across all of the industry (a lot of movies too), like there’s only one way to create a strong female character.

That’s what I love about recent Bioware games though. There’s actual depth in the writing of every major character. As a side note, my favorite character ever, across all fiction genres, is The Boss from MGS3 and Peace Walker (okay so she’s not really in PW but her character is expanded upon in awesome ways). And of course the obvious example of Ellie in The Last of Us, who’s half the reason why I love the game so much. I want to see more of that, and a little less of the vanilla-badass-but-not-much-else.

Now, granted, it’s still better than damsels in distress or mere decoration. I just wish there were more than 2 main options.

It’s starting to change though. That’s pretty cool.

Kat
Kat
5 years ago

@MD

I think feminists overlook it because gynocentic sexism basically. They don’t see the rapey-ness because they are mainly concerned with women.

Correct. All we care about are women and their imaginary rights. We care less than nothing about men, children, animals, plants, or the environment. The rape culture that exploits men? Who cares!

Wait — are you saying that feminists should be decent people? That we should care about this planet and everything on it? And that we should demonstrate this care in our daily actions?!

Weird.

snork maiden
5 years ago

Oh dear, six pages already, how many trolls this time?

I suppose the trouble with MGTOW is that merely typing their acronym seems to summon them like evil magic. I bet if I say MGTOW five times then look in the mirror some whiny git in a fedora and cargo pants will turn up and start lecturing me.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
5 years ago

I can’t believe that Miggy is real.

That wasn’t even his best work.

Fuck you. Fuck all of you. Why don’t you all just line up and fall over on top of each other like dominoes? You slip brained monocles. You rod faced mumblers. You alabaster sea triplet cumbersome zebras. You pork grinding asshats. You well-poisoning book-burning oatmeal fondling rubber necked fishmongers. You sluggish back-blood watershed pimple coating turd flingers. You rotten dog wart jock straps. Usurers. Potato skins. You listen to Nickleback unironically.

From the 9/11 thread.

I printed this, by the way. I shall keep it in my wallet and treasure it always.

Anne Lewis, Jib Creatr
Anne Lewis, Jib Creatr
5 years ago

OT nerding

Due to the mention of Fallout 4, I am contractually obligated to bring up my undying love of Piper Wright.

/OT nerding

I’ve been trying to keep up with threads, but every time I turn around one or more of the Three Menzketeers (Miggy, Mickey, and Mark) have shown up and exploded the comments!

P.S.: I listen to Nickelback unironically.

Mortarius
Mortarius
5 years ago
Ktoryx
Ktoryx
5 years ago

Fuck you. Fuck all of you. Why don’t you all just line up and fall over on top of each other like dominoes? You slip brained monocles. You rod faced mumblers. You alabaster sea triplet cumbersome zebras. You pork grinding asshats. You well-poisoning book-burning oatmeal fondling rubber necked fishmongers. You sluggish back-blood watershed pimple coating turd flingers. You rotten dog wart jock straps. Usurers. Potato skins. You listen to Nickleback unironically.

I think my favourite part is the “Usurers”. Yes, indeed! He has found us out! We here at WHTM are known for lending out money at predatory interest rates!

Guhhhhh. Little buddy, words mean things. Just because you’re vaguely aware that the word “usurer” has a negative connotation doesn’t make it an all-purpose insult.

Although, “oatmeal fondlers” is pretty funny too.

Kootiepatra
5 years ago

I’ve just caught up on this thread. There are so many people who were so awesome–I’ve just especially gotta say to Scildfreja:

http://providentpartnerscompanies.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/422/2016/05/were-not-credit-worthy-gif.gif

Claire
Claire
5 years ago

Ah seagulls, aka dirty gross sky rats. I work in harbour construction and we often find seagulls immobilised from botulism as a result of eating decomposing dead things. The ladies at the bird rehab centre tell me that eating a seagull infected with botulism is not a good idea. So, trolls, when you are ensconced on your seagull-infested island, please do not eat the lazy-seeming seagulls. You will get very sick and have a good chance of dying if not treated. You’re all asshats but I don’t wish you dead.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
5 years ago

@Ktoryx

To be fair, I have no idea what half of these insults are supposed to mean. And I’m pretty sure it’s not even because I’m ESL.

There’s also his “I PAY FOR YOUR WELFARE” rant. That one was beautiful.

EJ (The Other One)
5 years ago

Fuck you. Fuck all of you. Why don’t you all just line up and fall over on top of each other like dominoes? You slip brained monocles. You rod faced mumblers. You alabaster sea triplet cumbersome zebras. You pork grinding asshats. You well-poisoning book-burning oatmeal fondling rubber necked fishmongers. You sluggish back-blood watershed pimple coating turd flingers. You rotten dog wart jock straps. Usurers. Potato skins. You listen to Nickleback unironically.

This reminds me of Epic Rap Battles of History. Granted, everything reminds me of them, but this does especially.

[Shakespeare]
Ye hoebag
You’re an old white Soulja Boy who has no swag
And no gonads, egads it’s so sad
And to top it off you’re not a doctor
I’ve never seen a softer author
You crook, you
I bet you wrote the Twilight books too!

When I get home, if someone reminds me, I’ll do a dramatic reading of this rant.

Diptych
Diptych
5 years ago

The talk of Clipperton’s dark past reminded me – we do already have, ready-made, an island founded by men who wanted to go their own way from society – beautiful Pitcairn Island! It’s got beaches, a historical shipwreck, and… and it’s just awful from beginning to end. Massive trigger warnings for kidnapping, rape, child abuse, corruption, everything, if you’re going to look into that one.

Kat
Kat
5 years ago

@Diptych
I discovered the recent history of Pitcairn a few years ago. Yeah, massive trigger warnings for pretty much everything, including being young and stuck on an island with just a few other people, most of whom are your relatives and some of whom are rapists. Terrifying.