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Today in Breitbart Comments: Hillary’s … curtains

Breitbart boss turned Trump campaign CEO Steve Bannon
Breitbart boss turned Trump campaign CEO Steve Bannon

Welcome to the first installment of a new series here on We Hunted the Mammoth: Today in Breitbart Comments.

It’s pretty simple. Every day I will read through as many comments on Breitbart as I can stomach, and bring back some of the, er, best for you!

Today, I looked through some of the 5076 (and counting) comments Breitbart readers left on a post titled “Clinton Campaign Dogpiles NBC Reporter for Covering Hillary’s Coughing Attack.”

As it turns out, Breitbart’s commenters have quite a few concerns about Hillary’s health — and some, well, novel explanations for her cough. Some selected comments from the thread:

Reno Rivera Divine Friend • 5 hours ago Lesbians cough a lot. Particularly, old lesbians. It's as if they smoke four packs a day. Has to do with what they do with their tongues.

Doom On You Ham ☑ - Only ✝Christ Matters • 5 hours ago Maybe Clinton just had a hairball from Huma?

Yabba_Dabba Ham ☑ - Only ✝Christ Matters • 5 hours ago Papilloma caused cancer via her diseased husband Slick Willie, or infection via Saudi mole Huma Abedin via the diseased slimeball Anthony Weiner. Cancer by proxy through toxic STDs.

Richard Heinrich klem • 9 hours ago I wonder if they are casting about for a Hillary "Double" who can take her place when she finally collapses.

DefiantDeity Tommy p • 3 hours ago Who wants to bet Hillary has m**t curtains that hang to her knees between her legs?

And here is the most-liked comment in the thread:

Human Metaverse • 10 hours ago She's has had that allergy at least since 2008 and there isn't one pharmaceutical product that Big Pharma can offer its evillest minion to stop it recurring 365 days per year, or stop her choking especially prior to/during important speaking events...? She pees herself, can't walk or step at times, has lesions on her tongue, has seizures that make her look mentally retarded and has a wheel chair in her lowered-floor van.... Hahahahahaha. No-one believes the msm. It is probably Alzheimer's.

REMINDER: This is the audience that Steve Bannon, Donald Trump’s campaign CEO, cultivated for many years as the head cheese of Breitbart — and that Trump was presumably hoping to appeal to by hiring Bannon to run his campaign.

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Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
8 years ago

@Sinkable John, EJ’s right on the money, really. My unprofessional and utterly unfounded guess is general anxiety, which can crop up as all sorts of unrelated experiences. Having a disrupted sleep schedule can absolutely destroy your serotonin regulation, giving you all sorts of weird spikes at all hours.

(I’m sure you know, but the serotonin is a big player in the ‘3 am anxiety’ experience, where you wake up in the middle of the night and start worrying about things, and can’t summon any memories other than the ones you regret the most. Your irrational fear experience might be related to that.)

Sunlight is a good one. Experiencing the process of sunlight from dawn to dusk is an excellent thing to do (for a great number of reasons). Try to simulate that with lights if you can’t be outside – dim, warmer lights at dawn and dusk, brighter during the day. Can’t recall the research specifically, but I seem to recall some fruitful investigations in that sort of thing.

(Staring at a computer screen near bedtime is also bad. Again, I don’t recall the research on it, but it’s a thing as far as I know.)

Healthy eating (reducing sugars, more fibers, more vegetables, less meats) is also good for you, mostly in regularizing hormone production and blood flow, and avoiding indigestion. Exercise is good for similar reasons.

I’m incidentally pretty bad at all of this stuff myself; my sleep is bad and I get panic attacks – they are improving, fortunately! I find that being mindful of how I choose music is very helpful. Noisy or active music can raise adrenaline and general alertness, which may not be a good thing if you’re getting unwarranted fear responses. Trance’y music, or music that’s nice and calm at least, works well for me. Your mileage may vary. This one’s stuck in my head for a few days now:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60ItHLz5WEA

Something about the incessant rhythm of the chorus is hypnotic to me, I dunno why. I almost prefer the raw instrumental version.

Sorry for the ramble. I know it’s a tough climb out of that hole. I’m sure you can do it, just go easy on yourself! Small steps.

(((Hambeast))) Now With Extra Parentheses
(((Hambeast))) Now With Extra Parentheses
8 years ago

Lessee if I can maybe comment again.

IP said

No, I don’t know what it is. :/ For me it’s been getting worse in the last few years and it’s taking a toll on my vocal chords. It’s definitely compulsive and I do it more when I’m trying to focus or when I need be quiet. It’s not as bad when I’m actually speaking to someone. I’ve brought it up with doctors but I haven’t heard any decent ideas so far. It really sucks though.

Husbeast does this, too. It appears to be a nervous tic in his case. I’ve asked him about it, but he gets very self-conscious when I do, so I’ve stopped. Besides, it’s a pretty good tell that he’s trying to bring up something he’s afraid I’ll be ticked off at.

Axecalibur said

But for real, do you know what that throat clearing thing is? I can’t fuckin stop. Especially when I sing

Eating dairy causes that, too. It coats your throat for hours. Back when I was in the church choir, we were forbidden even milk in coffee before church.

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo

I’ve noticed that Jennifer Aniston does a lot of throat clearing in many of her roles. Binge watch Friends episodes and you won’t ever be able to unhear it.

Now I’m imagining that Rachel winds up leaving Ross for another woman, just like Carol did. Since Ross is a creepy Nice Guy, this scenario makes me pretty happy.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
8 years ago

@EJ

she sounds adorable

No, Gaea. I told you it was a 1 time thing. Yes I did. Don’t lookit me like that. Fine! But you gotta sit down. C’mon siiit… Good girl, keep it short

Thangs, lionface guy! I sinsearly appreciate it ?

@Hambeast

Eating dairy causes that, too

That’s exactly what I was afraid of. I do notice it getting worse after milk. So far, it’s worth it. If it gets unbearable, at least I’ll know what to stop doing

@John via Scildfreja
I don’t know genres too well, but this is kinda trancey. But also super loud for some reason

EJ (The Other One)
8 years ago

I hope you’re feeling better today, Scildykins.

@Policy of Madness:
I am fascinated by your take on the Wyrm not being evil, but I take your meaning.

To me there’s another similarity between Werewolf’s cosmology and the alt-Right: it seems driven more by pain and instinctive hostility than by any sort of plan. This means that on a high level it’s self-defeating because the different members are heading in many different directions, but on a lower level the alt-Right seems self-reinforcing because it just spreads around and amplifies that same pain and hostility from which it comes.

kupo
kupo
8 years ago
Tashilicious
Tashilicious
8 years ago

@EJ and Policy of Madness

The Wyrm was implied to not be “evil” from the very creation myth of Werewolf, tho. It was very clearly stated “The weaver trapped the Wyrm and caused the madness”

:rpgpedant:

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
8 years ago

@Scildfreja

I had no idea serotonin played a role in that 3am anxiety. And the way you described it is exactly what I’ve been experiencing besides the fear itself, except it’s not just at 3am these days. September is also the worst month for me. I just noticed yesterday was the 6th – incidentally, it’s one of my annual shitty days and the anniversary of the shittiest ever. Not looking forward to the 23rd either.

I’m generally pretty bad at light management, I guess. I go through the night with a dim red lamp that I find soothing. During the day I just keep the window open so I guess that’s fine, but I’d need to be awake during the day for that.
Regarding the music, I tend to stick to stuff like this when I when I’m working or late at night (need instrumental to write without getting distracted). Not big on trance though.

I’m doing good on food though. That’s probably gonna change as soon as I move out again, but for now I’m staying at my parents’ place and my mother makes sure eryone eats healthy stuffs.

Aaaand I just spotted a spider. Fucker was so big I could see the freaking mandibles on its face from the other side of the room x_x
Here’s another reason I’m scared, I guess. This time of year is when the huge bastards start coming out. For now I manage to just forget until I see them, but since I see them at least two or three times a day…

NickNameNick
NickNameNick
8 years ago

The fact there’s a news story about a presidential candidate coughing, as if that’s actually a big deal, comes off as scraping the bottom of the barrel.

Moreso when such a thing is treated as if it is somehow wrong of her. So, what, having a sore throat is not allowed or something?

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
8 years ago

@EJ, doing well! I got to spend the day building algorithms without having to worry about the mountain of research usually required in building them. Less paint-by-numbers and more paint-with numbers. Best part of the job.

(I also got to have a nice calm technical meeting after dropping the thermonuclear rainboom on our shallow-grave guest this morning, so that leveled things off a bit. Still cranky about that though. The nerve! How very dare.)

I hope that things are nice for you over there also! and thank you to you and WWTH and Axe for the follow-up in that thread. I wrote that very off-the-cuff, and you caught a lot of stuff I missed.

@Sinkable John, I like your music! Listening to it now. There are some squealy bits that i wouldn’t call soothing, but in general it’s gorgeous music.

And, yes, the panic and fear and misery that you feel when you wake at odd hours? Entirely a response to being conscious while your brain is swimming in sleepy-time hormones. It’s a good thing to remember that, and just knowing it can help you calm yourself down – just accept the anxiety and breathe slowly. Don’t worry if you can’t fall back to sleep. Your fears are normal and will melt away in the morning. (Or, you know. Whenever you normally get up!)

When you’re sleeping odd hours, your body has strange reactions to light – the amount of light your eyes receive helps regulate your circadian rhythm, amongst other things. So being up all night in dim, warm light (sleepy-time lighting) and then sleeping with the windows open (wakey-time lighting) will no doubt be causing you all sorts of sleep-grief, with all of the associated stress that goes with it.

Perhaps try accepting your current sleep rhythm as it is, and then push it towards where you want? Bright lights during your current-normal wakeful time, and dim or no lights during your current-normal sleep time. Then shift your habits an hour or two every night. I have no idea if that’s a good practice or not, mind you, but even if your schedule isn’t what you want it to be at least you’d get better sleep quality.

I used to wake up at least once a night, usually with a pounding heart and deep anxiety. It got better when I started avoiding caffeine, reduced salt, and worked on the depression (depression is a tricky pickle, linked to serotonin and adrenaline, negatively linked to dopamine. Disrupts sleep in a messy positive feedback loop. Not fun). Cutting off some sources of anxiety helped a lot.

I started on going for walks every day as well, an hour with headphones. Can’t recommend it enough. Other than the whole, you know, interacting-with-people bit, it’s really improved my mood, and I sleep much better.

Speaking of sleep though, holy noodle, i should get some. Evening does not come quick enough.

Nequam
Nequam
8 years ago

Well, I imagine this is going to get its own article:

http://www.dailydot.com/via/gamergate-ethan-ralph-arrested/

2 felony counts of assaulting a police officer. I suspect his pallor is all that kept him from being shot outright.

Scildfreja Unnýðnes
Scildfreja Unnýðnes
8 years ago
weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo

It’s going to be pretty hard for gaters to spin this as Ralph not being a real gamergater. I’m guessing they’re going to go for a feminist police state (led by Hillary Clinton maybe?) doing a frame job defense.

It’s unfortunate that “just” harassing, stalking, and threatening women isn’t enough to get him in real trouble, that it had to take assaulting a police officer. I’ll take it though.

IANAL and I know little to nothing of Virginia’s laws but it seems like if he was denied bail, he must be in some pretty damn big trouble.

(((Chiomara)))
(((Chiomara)))
8 years ago

Lesbians cough a lot.
Particularly, old lesbians. It’s as if they smoke four packs a day.
Has to do with what they do with their tongues.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I laughed at this until my belly hurt, really. There’s something about the way he says “What they do with their tongues” as if it’s something absolutely terrifying and unspeakable.
On other news, a research just out from MyAss Institute, says that the duration of heterosexual relationships is inversely proportional to the health of the esophagus of the husband.

kupo
kupo
8 years ago

30-year-old Virginian

They did that on purpose, right?

JoeB
JoeB
8 years ago

@kupo

Nothing unusual about the phrasing or term, so they probably just giggled over it and sent it to print. A happy accident.

Ooglyboggles
8 years ago

@Nequam
Celebrate come on!

Because really, I don’t think he can get away with assaulting an officer like that, especially since he is not even bothering to put up a visage of remorse.

But it would be funny to see GG get in a tizzy over the fact that going against police means supporting BLM, but the police just went after their most prominent member and disavowing him means that they’ll have to admit that they don’t have any power. What a conundrum, I don’t feel bad at all.

Steampunked
Steampunked
8 years ago

(((Chiomara))), it also makes me think they don’t understand what happens when you exercise muscles carefully over a long period of time 😉

(((Chiomara)))
(((Chiomara)))
8 years ago

Hey, I know the subject changed long ago and I should quote the comments, but I’m in my phone, so, sorry.

@IP coughing a lot *wink*

Ooooh, you go, you sexy beast :p

@Axe relating the tongue emoji to oral and needing a nitrogen bath

I have a funny story to tell. About 2 years ago I saw a *cough cough* certain person eagerly eating a full baked corn and I just couldn’t take my eyes off it. Every since then, watching attractive people eating corn became one of my “things”. After a TON of pondering and discussing on why, I think it has to be with the fact the sounds and the mannerisms look a LOT like eating something ELSE, if you know what I mean.
Did I just ruin baked corn with salt and butter for you people? You’re welcome. Try to top THAT level of needing cold showers.

And I hereby formally invite Mr (and Mrs? And the kitty?) Petal to come around and have some baked corn.
(I AM SORRY, I DON’T MEAN TO MAKE YOU UNCOMFY, hope I don’t. Just a joke.)

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
8 years ago

@Chiomara

I’ll send you a picture of me with corn. Give me a few days. 😉

I’m not offended btw. I have a high tolerance for sexual innuendo in jokes, and I don’t generally fear being objectified by young Brazilian women. It has literally never ever happened. :p

Nequam
Nequam
8 years ago

@Chiomara: all you’ve done is remind me of this video. (Technically SFW, but…)

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
8 years ago

The only time I really heard anything about the Ralph Retort was when this creep was best buddies with that Social Autopsy weirdo during her inexplicable, tinfoil-wrapped, extended Twitter meltdown.

What happened with that, by the way? I think she set her new account to private and I haven’t heard anything about it in a while now.

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo

How is Ethan Ralph still on twitter if his ass is in jail? He and his fans seems to think it’s hilarious. If he’s tweeting from jail, the jail has access to everything he does on the internet and it can be used against him. Assaulting a police officer and joking about it from jail? Not a great idea.

Or did he eventually get bail after all?

(((Chiomara)))
(((Chiomara)))
8 years ago

@IP
Noted :p

Completely unrelated: does anyone happen to have a video of Justin Trudeau eating a corn cob?

dlouwe
dlouwe
8 years ago

OT: Read a really good article on relationship autonomy, attachment, and emotional security, examining how men fall short, and a bunch of other good stuff. This is a “what about the menz” article done right – it examines a way that men are harmed by toxic masculinity, but points out how the burden of that is ultimately placed on women, and hammers home how men need to do better in order to fix it.

https://norasamaran.com/2016/07/21/for-men-who-desperately-need-autonomy-make-it-dont-take-it/

I’m going to “spoil” the end of the article because I fucking love it:

This is what we mean when we say ‘don’t be rapey’ does not get you a cookie. ‘Don’t be rapey’ does not make you a fucking feminist. That is kindergarten.

Shit is so bad we are trying to get a lot of men into kindergarten, but that doesn’t mean that is the bar. So ok, lots of men are getting good at kindergarten. Yippee.

Being a safe male presence in the lives of women you get close to – attuned, accessible, and responsive – is the bar. If you tell people you are a feminist, or you allow your community to laud your nurturing appearance, then this is for you. Because many of us have lived through a lifetime of harm, your job as a feminist man is not only to not harm us again, it is to help us heal. As we have been doing for everyone, for a long, long time.

That is what is expected. It is the minimum, minimum requirement expected for men who get into women’s trust by talking up feminist commitments.

If “don’t be rapey” is kindergarten, then “attuned, accessible, and responsive” is elementary school. Somebody’s gotta set the bar.