So cargo shorts, a staple of casual menswear since the 1990s, are going out of style like, well, they’re going out of style.
The anti-cargo shorts backlash, many years in the making, kicked into high gear after the Wall Street Journal reported last month that increasing numbers of women have started resorting to drastic tactics to stop the dudes in their lives from wearing these new fashion no-nos. One man told the WSJ that his wife had secretly disposed of more than a dozen pairs of his over the years; another only wears them around the house when his wife is away, in what has become an act of “disobedien[ce] in my marriage.”
Within a few days the media was filled with denunciations of the (really quite comfortable) shorts. “Dear Men, Please Stop Wearing Cargo Shorts,” Buzzfeed urged, while Business Insider declared that cargo shorts are “the single worst item a man can wear in the summer.”
Really? Worse than these?
Now some Men Going Their Own Way have adopted the shorts as a way to stick it to women.
“I think of cargo shorts as a form of protest now,” a MGTOW called Tyler_Gatsby declared in a recent post on the MGTOW subreddit.
I wear them with pride. And with all that dick moving room, it almost feels like it’s flipping them off sometimes.
While it was news to many in Mr. Gatsby’s audience that a lot of people really hate cargo shorts, other Reddit MGTOWs reported that they too were wearing the shorts as an act of defiance against giant-pocket-hating feminazi gynocrats, or something.
“From now on, rebrand them as ‘Tactical Shorts,'” one commenter suggested. “It will piss off the Special Snoflakes to no end….”
Another reported that he’d been wearing the hell out of cargo shorts as soon as he discovered that a lot of women hate them.
I wore all mine until they fell apart, and wore them even more often once the fashion police took aim at them. Now I can’t buy any new ones these things were literally purged from existence by manginas and women.
Others went even further. Several confessed their love for “the ones with the zipped trousers – trousers and shorts in one!” And one bold fellow suggested escalating the protest:
Let’s take it a step further: denim cargo shorts.
The horror.
As for why women hate cargo shorts, most Reddit MGTOWs seem to agree it’s because women don’t like anything that is useful. And because the lustful ladies like staring at men’s butts.
“It does come down to something fundamental between men and women,” wrote someone calling themselves feedmecarrots.
Men love cargo shorts because they are functional. Women hate them because they do not enhance a man’s form.
Pfthewall lamented the evil hypocrisy of these butt-loving women:
You mean women get pissed when it is difficult for them to ogle men, all the while they complain about men ogling them?
Linux_Guy91, meanwhile, let loose with an angry rant centered abound his need to store phone chargers on his person.
Any chick who disses cargo shorts is ignorant as f*ck. I’ve had stares in the past from girls who would bug out when their phone was low on battery but didn’t have a charger on them because they couldn’t carry it in their tight pockets or wrist purse thing. My phone gets low, I pull out my charger and i’m good.
And these pocket-laden shorts come in especially handy when riding roller coasters.
Not to mention they’re awesome for when you don’t want to keep your wallet in your back pocket or if they have zipper pockets perfect for storing stuff if you like roller coasters. Functional > fashionable.
Duly noted.
In all my years of wearing cargo shorts, I think I’ve made use of the big pockets like once.
I still haven’t given my cargo shorts up, but I think I’ll have to now that they’ve gotten themselves drenched in the stench of MGTOW.
NOTE: Just FYI, the dudes in the top photo don’t have anything to do with the MGTOW subreddit post; the pic has been floating around the internet forever and seemed apropos
@joekster
I’ve been following it but hadn’t seen this development. Good. She never admitted it would have still been wrong if she’d just sent it to the friend like she intended. She thinks she’s not the type of person to body shame even though that’s exactly what she did. And she seems to think not intending to break the law is some kind of defense.
I liked cargo pants/shorts when they were in in the 90’s and I don’t really mind them now though I don’t own any. But what galls me here is that these guys are legitimately butthurt that this might have something to do with women wanting men to wear clothing that accentuates the male form (I doubt it does, but let’s just accept it hypothetically for now), yet they do not see the hypocrisy inherent in their desire for all women to be HB9+ which 100% guaranteed includes the makeup, hair styling, mani/pedi, yoga pants, crop tops, etc. that they want to see on women but P.S. she also can’t be a ‘dumb slut’ etc. Yuck.
Dang it, mgtows, why do you have to ruin a cherished meme like that?
http://www.relatably.com/m/img/pokemon-red-and-blue-memes/1056.png
@kupo: yeah, I’m not clear how she managed to avoid charges for taking a nude picture of someone else without their permission and posting it all over the internet. I’m pretty sure there are at least 2 or 3 laws prohibiting that…
@obvioussatire: double props for the pokemon RBY reference. That brings me back.
If men are oh-so-practical, why don’t they carry purses? Purses are the actual best. I am like a boy scout up in here – always prepared. At any given time, I have my phone, wallet, keys (obviously) a wrench, multitool, small flashlight, and work gloves for work, my journal and an assortment of pens and pencils in case I have a good idea on the fly (or in case I need a pen. You always need pens) Bus tokens/transfers, sometimes a snack/water bottle, sometimes cheques to be deposited or mail to be posted… try to put all that in cargo shorts and you’ve got stuff bumping against your legs all day, making it uncomfortable to move or sit down. I just sling it in my bag and away I go.
Oh yeah…. and I sewed the bag myself, out of old pairs of pants (not cargo shorts, but that would have been hilarious) So it was free, and custom built for my needs. Beat THAT, MGTOWS.
ALSO if guys are so practical and girls are so frivolous, why is it that whenever I’m out with a guy friend he always asks me to put stuff in my purse for him? Carry your own purse, dudebro, apparently you need it!
You guys, purses are great.
What’s extra funny about this is that these are the same sort of people who get pissed off when women don’t dress in a way they find attractive.
A “box”, usually.
As for pockets, there’s an awesome YouTuber I follow who does a lot of DIY sewing stuff, and she has had episodes on sewing pockets into clothes that don’t have them, as well as making tiny pockets bigger. Her name is Annika Victoria.
https://youtu.be/fME-EE-QEsg
@Calmdown,
who is that? she needs cargo pockets.
@Scildfreja, you have a new (?) surnym, if I may be so nosy – what language, how do you pronounce, and what’s the leaned over d thingy?
@Joekster,
The demon lord B’harne must be destroyed! you reminded me about the jihad to destroy Barney – surprisingly jihad.net is still up even though noone has posted since 2006, i guess the internet never forgets.
@ktoryx: purses used to be considered ‘unmanly’ (yeah, I know, who cares, right?) but then they created computer bags. I never go anywhere without one.
Of course, as I pointed out above, my wife is the only person with a vote on my fashion sense, so there’s that 😉
@sillybill: I now have several alternate Barney songs we sang in the schoolyard when I was a kid running in my brain, which I will not repeat on the grounds that I just realized how incredibly racist they are. Ah, childhood in the wild Wild West.
I love cargo trousers and shorts but trying to get them in my size is difficult. I got a nice pair earlier in the summer and wore them constantly. Unfortunately, as with much of women’s clothing, the material was thin, the stitching poor and the pockets were two small amd not secure enough; they just weren’t built for practicality. I had to bin them after repairing them three times and replacing buttons on the leg pockets. It was very disappointing.
Since I can’t get them I’ve resorted to a back pack, I even made one myself that carries everything I need and can fit a small amount of shopping if necessary. In that front a bag is more useful than cargo trouserd or shorts.
They’re the best until you lose them.
Clip your keys to your purse with a D clip. That way, you only make it as far as your car without you purse.
(I’ve been living with ADD for a long time. I have developed certain skills.)
*facepalm* I just realized… my ex would ask me to carry crap in my purse for him all the time, and half that time he was wearing cargo shorts. x_X
Yeah, those pockets are really useful.
I think one of my pairs of pants are technically cargo pants, they have pockets that I never use on the sides of the legs. I never use them because putting a bunch of stuff in pants pockets make them heavy and make the pants droop & look stupid.
That’s just me though, I don’t give a crap what those idiots are wearing. Though if they wear those shirts it’s a handy sign for me to avoid them.
They’re the best until you lose them.
Ah, you just need to do what I do and develop a case of the ol’ “phantom purse”. If I’m out in public and I step away from my purse for a moment, it feels like my arm is missing or something. When you carry something every single day, you get so used to that weight at your hip that having it missing is really conspicuous.
@sillybill I can’t answer your other questions, but the letter you are referring to is eth, used in the Icelandic language.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Icelandic_orthography
OH, and just for kicks, I looked at the buzzfeed article and saw a number of posts from people claiming to be feminists pointing out that feminists should be as much against judging men for wearing cargo shorts as they are against judging women for any fashion choices.
So there, MGTOWs. Don’t confuse ‘things done by women’ with ‘things feminists approve of’. Thank you.
@joekster
I can’t say I’m upset that a Playboy Playmate might go to jail for using social media to attempt to humiliate a woman in her 70s for not looking like a Playboy Playmate.
This is irrelevant to the topic, but I have never been able to understand why people actually use their back pockets, or why they even exist. Why would you want to sit on your wallet/phone/secret candy supply? If Katie intended for us to sit uncomfortably on our belongings and slowly crush them with our glorious asses, She would’ve created us with a wallet and smartphone already attached to our buttocks at birth. Sheeple, wake up.
@Megalibrarygirl
A herd of bonbons?
That’s a joke worth delurking for!
@ IP
One of the major causes of back problems in men is sitting on wallets, especially during car journeys.
@IP
I don’t see the purpose of back pockets — but then again, I don’t know what the gall bladder does.
Checkmate, sheeple shamer!
@IP, Kat: I also do not understand the purpose of a back pocket, and I DO know what the gallbladder does: it stores bile (gall), which in turn helps digest fat.
Now you know what a gallbladder does too, but I bet you’re still confused about the function of a back pocket. All I can think of is, to keep chiropractors in business?
@joekster: According to one article, she avoided charges because her victim could not be identified, and without an identifiable victim they couldn’t file charges. However, someone claiming to be the victim has no come forward, which may change things.
@Fishy Goat: eth was a letter in English, too, back when it was Anglo-Saxon.
As the fishygoat said above, ð is an “eth”, which is a soft “th” sound, as in “thing”. It currently exists in Icelandic and Faroese, but my use is Anglo-Saxon. My brain generally blurs the d and th sounds together for some reason, so I often read it as “dh”, but that’s technically incorrect. (Though I venture to say that a dh in the middle of a word instead of a th would be highly understandable as the word-in-question given how close they sound!)
Unnýðnes is ye olde Englishe for “free from anger, ” or “peace.” Mostly something to remind me to not get too upset over things 😉