So cargo shorts, a staple of casual menswear since the 1990s, are going out of style like, well, they’re going out of style.
The anti-cargo shorts backlash, many years in the making, kicked into high gear after the Wall Street Journal reported last month that increasing numbers of women have started resorting to drastic tactics to stop the dudes in their lives from wearing these new fashion no-nos. One man told the WSJ that his wife had secretly disposed of more than a dozen pairs of his over the years; another only wears them around the house when his wife is away, in what has become an act of “disobedien[ce] in my marriage.”
Within a few days the media was filled with denunciations of the (really quite comfortable) shorts. “Dear Men, Please Stop Wearing Cargo Shorts,” Buzzfeed urged, while Business Insider declared that cargo shorts are “the single worst item a man can wear in the summer.”
Really? Worse than these?
Now some Men Going Their Own Way have adopted the shorts as a way to stick it to women.
“I think of cargo shorts as a form of protest now,” a MGTOW called Tyler_Gatsby declared in a recent post on the MGTOW subreddit.
I wear them with pride. And with all that dick moving room, it almost feels like it’s flipping them off sometimes.
While it was news to many in Mr. Gatsby’s audience that a lot of people really hate cargo shorts, other Reddit MGTOWs reported that they too were wearing the shorts as an act of defiance against giant-pocket-hating feminazi gynocrats, or something.
“From now on, rebrand them as ‘Tactical Shorts,'” one commenter suggested. “It will piss off the Special Snoflakes to no end….”
Another reported that he’d been wearing the hell out of cargo shorts as soon as he discovered that a lot of women hate them.
I wore all mine until they fell apart, and wore them even more often once the fashion police took aim at them. Now I can’t buy any new ones these things were literally purged from existence by manginas and women.
Others went even further. Several confessed their love for “the ones with the zipped trousers – trousers and shorts in one!” And one bold fellow suggested escalating the protest:
Let’s take it a step further: denim cargo shorts.
The horror.
As for why women hate cargo shorts, most Reddit MGTOWs seem to agree it’s because women don’t like anything that is useful. And because the lustful ladies like staring at men’s butts.
“It does come down to something fundamental between men and women,” wrote someone calling themselves feedmecarrots.
Men love cargo shorts because they are functional. Women hate them because they do not enhance a man’s form.
Pfthewall lamented the evil hypocrisy of these butt-loving women:
You mean women get pissed when it is difficult for them to ogle men, all the while they complain about men ogling them?
Linux_Guy91, meanwhile, let loose with an angry rant centered abound his need to store phone chargers on his person.
Any chick who disses cargo shorts is ignorant as f*ck. I’ve had stares in the past from girls who would bug out when their phone was low on battery but didn’t have a charger on them because they couldn’t carry it in their tight pockets or wrist purse thing. My phone gets low, I pull out my charger and i’m good.
And these pocket-laden shorts come in especially handy when riding roller coasters.
Not to mention they’re awesome for when you don’t want to keep your wallet in your back pocket or if they have zipper pockets perfect for storing stuff if you like roller coasters. Functional > fashionable.
Duly noted.
In all my years of wearing cargo shorts, I think I’ve made use of the big pockets like once.
I still haven’t given my cargo shorts up, but I think I’ll have to now that they’ve gotten themselves drenched in the stench of MGTOW.
NOTE: Just FYI, the dudes in the top photo don’t have anything to do with the MGTOW subreddit post; the pic has been floating around the internet forever and seemed apropos
Huh. I kind of thought cargo-anything went out of fashion years ago. I can’t say as I cared much, though. Form follows from function, and foolish is the fashion that says otherwise.
I don’t wear shorts anymore, because super-pale, scarred, hairy legs, but I always wear cargo pants out and about. On any given day, my pants contain: my wallet, my phone, my keys, my inhaler, a multitool, a flashlight, my diary, a small flip notebook, my iPod, a pack of gum, a tape measure (the cloth kind), at least one pen, a cloth for cleaning my glasses, my deck, some emergency medical supplies, and me. Occasionally they also contain a book, if I’m expecting long waits and can’t carry one otherwise. In the past I have also carried a fetish, and I occasionally hung my collar from a belt loop if I got too hot, but not so much anymore. I also need to find a replacement collapsible hair brush.
Fashion be damned; I need my pockets.
I just don’t like shorts. I don’t like them on me, I don’t generally like them on other women, and I don’t generally like them on men. Cargo-ness aside, I just find them to be uninteresting and frequently unflattering.
But I also know that how other people dress is precisely 0% my business, and as long as they’re not trying to, like, wear them to a wedding or something, I’m not going to suggest they wear anything different than exactly what they want. To be honest, I’m not sure I’ve heard anyone decry cargo shorts unless they were writing a fashion article, and probably trying to convince men to go out and buy new pants from their clothing line.
Furthermore I live in a place that turns into a hellish armpit in the summer, so I fully support people wearing whatever they like in the pursuit of not roasting alive. I cave to wearing shorts myself if I’m going to be outside in July for a prolonged amount of time.
I have never been seen out of doors in shorts since I was twelve, cargo or otherwise. I do not feel that my shins are something that the world has been eagerly waiting to see.
That said, if other people want to wear them, then that’s cool, you do you. Just be aware that if you’re wearing them out of defiance against a woman, then you’re still wearing them because of a woman.
Edited to add:
@Vucodlak, welcome to the site and an excellent name! I approve.
http://imoviequotes.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/501-Super-Troopers-quotes.png
B…but…
In the Aussie goth scene for YEARS for some of us, winter has been black cargo pants, and summer has been black cargo shorts…
How ELSE do you store your wallet-with-a-chain, your black lipstick, and black nailpolish, your redbull, and your chapstick if you’re a goth dude who doesn’t have a handbag on him?
Other advantage – black cargo shorts have lots of loops for hanging chains or plaid ribbons off.
Wait, I’m not mentally prepared for two trolls to duel mano a mano.
I feel kind of sad that when I read this article’s title I thought they were going to compare this to the men in Iran wearing Hijabs in support of their loved ones protest against enforced Hijab laws, and felt relief that they didn’t even go that far down the hole.
Or maybe they didn’t want to because that would mean comparing themselves to feminist activists, men who care about what women think and want, and a Middle Eastern country to boot.
Hello.
> David
Hmm, yesterday, the browser had problems displaying some of the right column pictures (it was replaced with error texts). Today, it works fine.
On topic :
Wanting not to follow “the trend” and trying to launch another “trend” ? Why do you care of trend if you are “Alpha” ? Ah, no, i mistake MGTOW for PUA. But the question remains : why do you care of trend if you are going your own way ? Why do you care of what women think about your clothes if you are going you own way ?
You mistake having a look and ogling. They do not leer with drool on the lip for all the long of a ride (yeah, i caricature a bit here). And what make you think your ass is worth a glance ? Does going your own way not make you immune to the glare of the others ?
Have a nice day.
Re: cargo pants as tactical
A lot of military people, especially special forces, cut the bottoms out of the pockets in their trousers. It helps them drain quicker when they have to go through water.
Pockets aren’t generally used as it’s better just to put stuff on webbing.
Can we skip straight to the last one? This guy’s been boring ever since David outed him as the least memorable of the old trolls, but silly Skyrim mods will never lose their charm.
Anyone who knows about her torture of multiple victims by refusing them pain relief in the service of her vile ideology, risking their lives by re-using syringes, misappropriation of funds, and arselicking of dictators such as “Baby Doc” Duvalier, but doesn’t despise Anjezë Gonxhe Bojaxhiu, is a complete scumbag.
Cargo pants are functional for certain types of job.
Phyllis Schlafly was a hypocrite, extolling the virtues of woman as doormat while simultaneously aggressively pursuing a career as a public speaker, opinion former and matriarch. She was also racist and bigoted. I hope she did not suffer as she died but any other expressions of sympathy would make me a hypocrite.
Mother Teresa was another “do as I say, not as do” hypocrite. She extolled suffering as a means of bringing souls to God to the extent of denying pain relief to the dying. Much of the charitable funds she raised went not to the convents she founded but to the Catholic Church. She was an enthusiastic apologist for the vile Hoxha regime.
Update: I finished the first chapter of the fanfiction. Shenanigans are ensuing, I repeat, shenanigans are ensuing. And I need to figure out how to write stutters. That is all.
I have a MISANDRY confession: I recently (nicely!)forbade my SO from wearing cargo shorts to a wedding. In his defense it was an 100 degree day and we live in the pacific NW (as someone else observed Hell itself will freeze over before cargo shorts go out of style here.) I rarely even comment or care on what he wears in %99 of cases but sometimes you just gotta dress nice for social reasons. I guess I really am a horrible harpy feminazi after all! Sorry MGTOWS!
http://www.quickmeme.com/img/31/31907ec13c883c5d5aced886fa6f6f0fa504f9153cd69cf1746730def1b89d77.jpg
(I don’t actually care and my bf got over it because he’s not a man baby and we even survived the formal event!)
Please don’t migtoe up my cargo pants next. Please don’t migtoe up my cargo pants next. I’m fine with shorts, I don’t wear ’em. But I need the pants. Seriously. These things are incredibly useful, especially when your life involves a lot of walking and climbing and falling, instead of, y’know, sitting around all day long and complaining about women on the internet.
Why do they even need the pockets ? Seriously. Just put your shit on your desk next to your computer.
@Karl
That was my thought as well: Are women hypersexual, objectifying sluts who want to reverse society in such a way that men are the ones needing to worry about catcalling, sexual harassment and the like, and those are suddenly no longer the harmless jokes and misunderstandings that they are today because reverse-sexism is way worse than regular sexism or something*? Or are women greedy, frigid b***hes who only want men for their resources because biotroofs about women lazying around all day eating the bonbons that men hunted with sweat on their brow in the mythical plains of Misandria**?
It’s almost like these guys are never consistent about anything.
*This is another aspect that bothers me about these dudes. Either they realize that the casual sexism and misogyny they defend is genuinely harmful and they just don’t care as long as they are not personally affected by it, or they’re really just voicing their sexual fantasies openly, pretending to hate the idea of being objectified by women for the sake of being outraged once again.
**What do you call a herd of bonbons, anyway?
Migtoes might as well hold a sign saying: ”I am a douchebag.” Their clothes say as much.
You don’t need the sidepockets for storing your phone in if you wear a shirt.
@ reimalebario
Ah, but it’s not without its hazards.
Dammit stop ruining things I love! I might come from the UK where the weather is not noted for it’s extreme heat but I start wearing cargo shorts in April and hang on as long as I can through autumn – still wearing them right now. I find the large pockets handy for my wallet and change and sometimes on long journeys carry my DS in the other. My legs might be a wreck of scar tissue thanks to a life time of falling off my bike but I do shave all the thick black hair off them at least. Anyway, don’t make them a douche symbol like the trilby, pleeeeeease?
My son goes to a summer camp on Monamanoc Road. Guess what happens every time I drive him up there.
I will add my voice to those who do despise Mother Teresa, for her it was all about appearing virtuous while in fact being a sadistic hypocrite.
Regarding cargo shorts I’ve never even thought about whether or not I like them, men can wear what they like as far as I’m concerned. Though I’d agree it’s a bit daft to wear them to a formal wedding or a job interview that doesn’t involve serving drinks in pineapples.
If MGTOWs really want to upset feminists they should sport mullets beneath their fedoras, wear kipper ties with tee shirts and compliment their cargo shorts with Cuban heels. That’ll show us.
I’ve been to 2 weddings. The 1st was a black tie deal. The 2nd was on the beach, and semi cargo shorts were the dress code
#notallweddings
Thomas Beckett:
Is that you again, Sedimentary Rationalizer? Or is there a style school you both are classmates at?Either way, for the love of dog would you turn on your spell-check?
I came here to say that I really like cargos, both shorts and long ones. Now I have to add that the myth of the saintly Mother Teresa is an insult to the people she harmed and ffs, why can’t society at large put it to bed. Dog knows it’s been publicly debunked enough times.
Now I have to apologise for my anal tendencies, and I’m not wanting to call out an individual as this is something I see all the time, but the singular of “chupacabras” is…”chupacabras.”
I love the idea that MGTOWs feel they need an additional way to annoy/ward off feminists, as if their personalities weren’t already sufficiently repellant. It’s like sprinkling ethyl mercaptan around a dumpster fire.