So cargo shorts, a staple of casual menswear since the 1990s, are going out of style like, well, they’re going out of style.
The anti-cargo shorts backlash, many years in the making, kicked into high gear after the Wall Street Journal reported last month that increasing numbers of women have started resorting to drastic tactics to stop the dudes in their lives from wearing these new fashion no-nos. One man told the WSJ that his wife had secretly disposed of more than a dozen pairs of his over the years; another only wears them around the house when his wife is away, in what has become an act of “disobedien[ce] in my marriage.”
Within a few days the media was filled with denunciations of the (really quite comfortable) shorts. “Dear Men, Please Stop Wearing Cargo Shorts,” Buzzfeed urged, while Business Insider declaredย that cargo shorts are “the single worst item a man can wear in the summer.”
Really? Worse than these?
Now some Men Going Their Own Way have adopted the shorts as aย way to stick it to women.
“I think of cargo shorts as a form of protest now,” a MGTOW calledย Tyler_Gatsby declared in a recent post on the MGTOW subreddit.
I wear them with pride. And with all that dick moving room, it almost feels like it’s flipping them off sometimes.
While it was news to many in Mr. Gatsby’s audience that a lot of people really hate cargo shorts,ย other Reddit MGTOWs reported that they too were wearing the shorts as an act of defiance against giant-pocket-hating feminazi gynocrats, or something.
“From now on, rebrand them as ‘Tactical Shorts,'” one commenter suggested. “It will piss off the Special Snoflakes to no end….”
Another reported that he’d been wearing the hell out of cargo shorts as soon as he discovered that a lot of women hate them.
I wore all mine until they fell apart, and wore them even more often once the fashion police took aim at them. Now I can’t buy any new ones these things were literally purged from existence by manginas and women.
Others went even further. Several confessed their love for “the ones with the zipped trousers – trousers and shorts in one!” And one bold fellow suggested escalating the protest:
Let’s take it a step further: denim cargo shorts.
The horror.
As for why women hate cargo shorts, most Reddit MGTOWs seem to agree it’s because women don’t like anything that is useful. And because the lustful ladies like staring at men’s butts.
“It does come down to something fundamental between men and women,” wrote someone calling themselvesย feedmecarrots.
Men love cargo shorts because they are functional. Women hate them because they do not enhance a man’s form.
Pfthewall lamented the evil hypocrisy of these butt-loving women:
You mean women get pissed when it is difficult for them to ogle men, all the while they complain about men ogling them?
Linux_Guy91, meanwhile, let loose with an angry rant centered abound his need to store phone chargers on his person.
Any chick who disses cargo shorts is ignorant as f*ck. I’ve had stares in the past from girls who would bug out when their phone was low on battery but didn’t have a charger on them because they couldn’t carry it in their tight pockets or wrist purse thing. My phone gets low, I pull out my charger and i’m good.
And these pocket-laden shorts come in especially handy when riding roller coasters.
Not to mention they’re awesome for when you don’t want to keep your wallet in your back pocket or if they have zipper pockets perfect for storing stuff if you like roller coasters. Functional > fashionable.
Duly noted.
In all my years of wearing cargo shorts, I think I’ve made use of the big pockets like once.
I still haven’t given my cargo shorts up, but I think I’ll have to now that they’veย gotten themselves drenched inย the stench of MGTOW.
NOTE: Just FYI, the dudes in the top photo don’t have anything to do with the MGTOW subreddit post; the pic has been floating around the internet forever and seemed apropos
@Phryne: thanks for sharing, and that does sound rough. Good luck, and I hope things go well with you. It’s rough doing school with kids. About a quarter of my med school class had children, and I had great respect for them.
I’m doing well. I start a new job in Kansas on Monday, and we’ll all be driving over to KC tomorrow (my wife has an interview there, but she won’t get to join me until next July). Today, I get to finish packing and tie up a few loose ends from fellowship.
Anyone who thinks women are not practical has not been around Russian women.
We here at Pavlov’s House find pocket discussions relevant when discussing uniforms. I like US Army ACU’s better than our old BDUs mainly in one respect….better and more useful pockets. I love the upper arm pockets. The ubiquitous notebook and pen and small flashlight ride in there as does the photo of Ms. Pavlov’s House that always accompanies me to the field.
@Kat Truth!!! ๐
I love how they accuse feminists of not ‘being able to take a joke’ or whatever, yet in their misogynistic hate fail to notice the humorous meme that everyone else is making, and take it absolutely seriously.
Sure, cargo shorts have their uses… but are ugly. Kilts on the otherhand have useful pockets, and you can wear the most fashionable of fany packs with them, the sporin. Women love kilts, men love kilts. Wear a skirt, buy a sporin. Problem solved. (Fyi, my current favorite store is sportkilt.com since they get away from the standard “eww girls wearing kilts” ickyness most utility kilt places have, and they will put pockets on women kilts that are actually functional.)
Bah! My comments are being eaten again.
@fuzzymucous
DON’T LET THEM STEAL YOUR SHORTS!
๐
Most people can probably recognize a skinhead on sight yet other bald men are generally safe- so long as they avoid flight jackets, neck tattooes, and promoting genocide. Take back the cargos!
Also, it would be really, really funny if they realized that they might be indistinguishable from garden variety “manginas” and other unsavory femminists ๐
I just put on my lady cargos, low top converse and sleeveless tee in solidarity XD Fuck ’em, they can have sweat pants and Reeboks!
I’m ok wearing shoes with my pajamas in my house like a weirdo if it means I can even potentially ruin something for them lol
In theory, I like cargo shorts. I don’t use the pockets terribly often, but I like having extra places to put book, and while mass market paperbacks will fit in front and back pockets, trade paperbacks don’t.
I’ve considered getting a bag, but anything I stop wearing has the potential to be lost. I’ve lost at least two hats and one jacket because I forgot to put them back on before leaving someplace. I almost never take my shorts off in some place where I’ll leave without them.
That said, in practice, the big pockets on shorts are just another stress point and cause shorts to tear where the pocket meets the leg, and it’s really annoying to patch over those rips. I mean, I’ll do it, because I feel I haven’t gotten my money’s worth if a pair of shorts doesn’t last a year, but it’s annoying.
IDK Ross, I hear that kilts are a gateway drug to haggis and I’m not eating that stuff even at gun point.
I am a male and I have hated Cargo Shorts with the heat of a thousand white-hot Super Nova. Cargo Shorts are appropriate at the camp site and that is about it. Other than that they are fugly as all get out, sloppy, crumpled, and not at all functional once all that crap in the pockets starts banging on your thighs. That some yahoos made this into some perverse political statement of male solidarity only shows what hopeless wankers these type of people are.
Bravo for the women who have finally risen to put a halt to this fashion abomination. I salute you, even if you had to be underhanded about getting rid of these atrocities. Minus 10 points for not respecting your spouse’s or significant other’s personal space but plus a million points for ridding the world of these horrible pants is what I’m saying.
For those men still wearing these horrible fashion statement I say, grow up and start wearing the big-boy pants of summer: Bermuda Shorts. And clean up your act and toss on a nice, neat polo shirt while you are at it.
Barroncognito, the solution to loosing backpacks, murses (male purse) and other items is a Tile. Zip tie the tile to the item, pair it with the phone. When misplaced fire up the Tile app to find the misplaced item. This is what I do for my murse, keys and other easily misplaced items. They all have Tiles attached.
“Can we combine cargo shorts hate with pumpkin spice hate to free up some time in meme-makersโ lives?” Now there is some out-of-the-box thinking.
If I start carrying a purse (aside from my coin purse) I will call it a purse. We don’t need a silly portmanteau for a purse that is carried by a man.
Alternatively, it could be a satchel, a tote bag, or a haversack.
What I have considered doing is getting a vest with lots of pockets.
@James
How about we not judge people for their choice of clothing? With the exception of clothing that puts the wearer in danger, such as loose fabric worn by a factory worker, it’s really not up to anyone but the person wearing the clothes. You like Bermuda shorts with Polo shirts? Awesome, wear those! My friend likes to wear cargo shorts with his sandals and socks and there’s nothing wrong with that.
@Kupo: I could not agree more ??
So they are protesting for being solo for life dafu?? what is there to protest who cares if yo dont want to be in relationship whyyy, many live their whole life happily alone. I understand if they had mean ex and now they are like -im going solo bye stoopid ex