It’s no big secret that many doomsday preppers yearn for the apocalypse — if for no other reason than the opportunities it will provide them to say “I told you so” to all those who doubted their paranoid fantasies. And to possibly shoot some of these unprepared scoffers when they come begging for food.
Nowhere is this more obvious than amongst those apocalypse-fantasizers who’ve convinced themselves that it will be feminism, rather than volcanic eruptions or nuclear war or Donald Trump, that will bring about the end of the world.
On the Men Going Their Own way subreddit, the regulars are talking apocalypse, as modern misogynists are wont to do. And it is as revealing as these exercises always are.
A fellow called BagOfBrokenBits dreams of a not-very-distant future in which uppity ladies “will do whatever they are told.”
The future as I see it, is that as society collapses around us (5-15 years?) most women outside of a tightly controlled patriarchal group simply will not survive, because nobody will put up with their sh*t long enough to feed them. When resources are scarce they will not be able to defend what they have and most lack the health, strength and abilities to obtain or build what they need. There will be no feminism, there will be patriarchy. Men will work together as they always have, in challenging and horrific conditions. Women will do whatever they are told because conditions will be too harsh to tolerate dissent.
And Mr. Bag will be one of those doing the telling, because of all the toiletries he is hoarding:
I am a Prepper. I currently have stores of food, toiletries etc for five years with tools, seeds etc to extend that.
He’s apparently filling his doomsday bunker with as many canned goods as he can get his hands on:
It has been noted that in past shortages due to wars an afternoon with a woman can be had for a tin of … anything really.
You know what I mean, you know what I mean? Nudge nudge say no more!
The pros and cons of the apocalypse:
Cons:
- Death of most of the human race
- Contamination of water sources with dead bodies
- No medical care beyond basic first aid
- Return to stone age civilization
Pros:
- Women will have sex with you for a can of beans
AOF_Semiramis suggests moving to New Zealand. And he has some interesting thoughts about Pokemon GO.
Go complete ghost in New Zealand or the likes.Heck even in the US with private as fuck properties.Grow your own food,have stable ways to get water and raise animals a la farm.Fish too if your near a lake.Assuming your far away enough,lake is isolated enough,your too far from idiot humans and any large concentration of them,then nukes won’t land on your spot too since it would be a waste of resources.(Its why the CIA funded Pokemon GO. So the brainless droves would fill the map for them.Obviusly there are still holes.)
Surviving the apocalypse is so easy that even a kid could do it!
Also..a 15 year old discovered an ancient city due to studying the stars in Central America.So you can bet that there are other places in the world where you can live safely.
Make sure to pack popcorn, for all the gloating you’ll be doing.
I know its f*cked up,but nothing you can do to stop it. You can only save yourself at most.So just chill,get some popcorn,and just accept the f*cking up.
timoppenheimer, meanwhile, doesn’t seem to be doing any prepping beyond living as selfishly as he can:
WWIII is coming, and I am horrified too, OP.
My plan is to enjoy my life. They already took my foreskin; fuck society, I’m living my life for me.
Talkytalktalk is evidently a fan of Alex Jones:
This is the great culling of the human population. The eugenics population reduction freaks are going to kill billions and out the rest under the yoke of totalitarianism. It takes a woman to pick the runts and dispose of them.
But which woman? WHICH WOMAN!?
I need to know now so I can mangina my way into her good graces before the culling.
@alan, ax, 7, nick: I dug out the reference, in case anyone finds it useful (there is a discouragingly high correlation between people who take the OT seriously and MRA’s). It’s 1Kings, chapter 3, vs 16-28.
Of note, my translation has the dead child’s mother saying, ‘Neither I nor you shall have him. Cut him in two!’ Which supports Alan’s interpretation.
Also, my translation states the women were ‘prostitutes’ who were ‘living together’. Not sure what bearing the first has, but the second fact indicates that it wasn’t just about both women wanting a son.
Joekster: I’ll check out the original shortly, see if I can clear that up.
Okay, checked: it does say they’re prostitutes (נשים זונות), which was a detail I didn’t remember. And living together in the technical sense of the term – literally, it says they were “sitting / residing in one house” (יושבות בבית אחד).
Personally, I do take the OT seriously, but not in a religious sense (I’m an atheist), more as a cultural document that can teach us a lot about things like the beliefs and opinions, and of course the language, at the time(s) it was written. Also some history, mostly when correlated against other documents and archaeological finds etc. from the area. Also, it has some cool and/or weird stories. It’s a fascinating text and I wish more people were more familiar with it.
@penny psmith: thanks for the translation. I attempted to take Ancient Greek in undergrad (Hebrew was not offered) and the class was cancelled for lack of interest. Of course, that looks like Hebrew characters above, so Ancient Greek wouldn’t help me either 😉
I’m sort of the inverse of you where the scriptures are concerned: I’m Christian, but view the scriptures as historical source material (I’m one of those ‘the Word became flesh, not paper and ink’). I find it gives me a much more flexible and resilient faith.
Hebrew indeed, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to read it. 🙂
The neat thing about the way Hebrew wad “revived” (actually more complicated than that) on the basis of Biblical Hebrew(s) is that I can pick up a bible (OT, that is) and just read. I’m not saying I’d get everything right, because there are some obsolete words and structures etc., but it’s not like, for example, the Old English – Modern English (or even Middle English – Modern English) situation. More like reading a book from the 18th century or so, like Swift or Defoe or Sterne, would be for a standard English speaker, hard but not impossible.
On the OP: if these dudes are THAT traumatized by their circumcisions, why don’t they just get some friggin foreskin reconstruction surgery then? I’m guessing that recreating a small flap of skin is easier and cheaper than the average nose job, so it should be well within their budgets. Wouldn’t it?
On the subject of Pokemon GO: has anyone studied the assessment tool the latest upgrade provided players to see how useful it is for decided which ‘mons to trade in, and which to keep? I’m about 50 shy of the hard limit for how many ‘mons I can keep, and could use an extra tool for deciding which I should keep and which I shouldn’t. I’m already using an IV calculator I was linked to from Reddit, but if the in-game tool is useful too, I can use it to help decide, too.
My thanks in advance for anyone willing to help here.
I’m guessing the enervation is difficult or impossible to restore.
That is not what makes these pillocks the unmitigated tossers that they are, of course!
(Not that it has anything to do with these mouldy-brained wazzocks in the OP, but I do think the non-medically-essential snipping of bits off people who are too young to give informed consent and whose bodily autonomy is thus knackered in the ‘nads is Not a Good Idea. If people want to modify their own genitals for non-medical reasons, they should be capable of consenting to it themselves).
Re: Pokemon go: I have used the assessment tool, and it’s mostly useful for working out how balanced your critters stats are. The rating it gives seems to be based on CP, which you can just look at.
TRIGGER WARNING: genital mutilation, including female circumcision.
The male foreskin does have some sensory nerves in it, but those nerves are not terribly important for sexual stimulation. The ones that are important are in the glans penis, the fleshy bit covered by the foreskin. Individuals who are circumcised (like myself, btw, as when I was born we thought there was a health benefit to it) have much less sensitive glans secondary to overstimulation. Even if a new foreskin was stitched in, it would take awhile for the glans to fully recover sensation, if it ever did. That said, the glans is still excitable in circumcised men, and there are plenty of other ways to stimulate the male anatomy, so it’s overall not a huge deal, although I agree with the whole, ‘taking bits off of individuals who cannot consent is bad’ argument.
Female circumcision is a totally different matter. Although there is a bit of female anatomy (called the hood of the clitoris) that is roughly equivalent to the male foreskin, it is small enough that ‘female circumcision’ almost always amputates e clitoris as well, which is the female equivalent of the glans penis. So, a woman who has undergone this procedure has a significantly impaired ability to enjoy sex,, but still has a normal sex drive. Which is why female circumcision is considered genital mutilation (and condemned by every US medical society that has an opinion on it), while male circumcision is a bit more ambivalent from the ethical perspective.
I think them being prostitutes is meant to explain why they would be living on their own and pregnant and why there would be no husbands available to speak on their behalf.
@sevenofmine: Hm, that explanation makes as much sense as anything I can come up with. It may also explain the competitiveness the one woman shows to the other, if the two women think of themselves as competing colleagues rather than room-mates.
Though, I may be making a mistake in impressing 20th century US culture norms on ancient Israel.
One question: In Mosaic law, were women permitted to represent themselves if they did have a male relative to speak for them?
@ jokester
Although we know a bit about substantive Jewish law, it’s a bit more nebulous on the procedural stuff. The earliest account is from Josephus, so that’s obviously a long time after the OT times. However it’s probably reasonably safe to assume that, being a consevative and traditional society, things hadn’t changed too much.
The Jewish court was called the Sanhedrin (there were various tiers, bit like we have now). Representatives were specifically prohibited so no lawyers (boo) or people speaking on another’s behalf. All cases were initiated by a complainant witness (so very similar to ancient Roman law and indeed English law until medieval times) ‘the state’ wasn’t a party as such. So even crimes against the ‘public’ would be initiated by an individual.
The procedure was that the accusing witness would give evidence first and call any other witnesses, then the accused would have their say and call any witnesses they had. Then the tribunal would decide.
That does seem to tally with the Solomon story. The women there were clearly appearing on their own behalves.
The Torah does not prohibit women from appearing in court – which is a theme that continues in Mishna and Talmud. Much like in the Greco-Roman world, a woman testifying or bringing / defending a lawsuit would have been scandalous and a reason for much muttering, but not actually a break with then current laws.
Everyone’s done talking about post apopaloptic (h/t LaShawn Beyond) survival skills but all y’all who are knitters and seamstresses, what are you going to do when the yarn/fabric runs out?
I can spin. I can teach others to spin. I know the rudiments of flax processing. I can go from sheep to garment. I can weave. I can build spindles and put them in the hands of children and old folks so we never run out of thread. I can build a rudimentary loom and make fabric on it.
re: survival skills
I know the art of fractional distillation, and can put together a rig for same. This means ardent spirits (for medicinal, trade, and recreational purposes), fuel (I know how to make diesel from assorted seeds and nuts), and aids in various other things. I can refine morphine and aspirin (need a little trial and error there). I can make gunpowder, serpentine or smokeless (I wouldn’t want to be the one firing a gun loaded with my single-base, but I can make it). Also I know how to make steam, wind, and hydro generators given enough salvage.
@dalilama: that’s fantastic. We can work together. I know quite a few other drugs we can refine from plants, such as atropine (good for nausea, and some forms of heart disease) from belladonna, colchicine (an anti-inflammatory really good for gout) from death caps, and digoxin (another heart failure med) from fox glove. I also know how to appropriately dose all of those (there’s a reason those have all been used as poisons), and if the apocalypse gives me a few days warning, I can look up a bunch of other ones as well.
Turns out much of our pharmacopeia started with the old herbal remedies. We just isolated them, figured out which part was doing the work, and tinkered with them to cut down on the side effects. But, in a pinch…
Also, penicillin from the correct yeast. Although, civilization will have to be dead for about a decade before penicillin is useful for anything but syphilis and strep pneumonia again.
There’s a bit in the Bible somewhere (I can’t remember where and Google isn’t helping) which lists all the horrors which will befall a society which is collapsing into depravity and wickedness, and one of them is “women will take their husbands at the law.”
When I was younger and read the Bible, I always read this as “women will sue their husbands”, which seems to indicate that a) it was possible under Old Testamental customary law, and b) it was the worst thing that the prophet could think of.
Dalillama, you are the most useful survivor of them all.
I think that if we work together we might be able to build an AC circuit which could run mains voltages, allowing us to run electrical appliances. Just because the world has ended doesn’t mean that we can’t have vaccuum cleaners and Xboxes.
@EJ: that definitely sounds OT.
Anyhow, just to drag the thread more off topic: in undergrad, I took a history of medicine course for fun, and the prof said that prior to WWI, the German company Bayer had patented the process of refining salicylate from willow bark and turning it into aspirin, but that the treaty of Versailles forced Bauer to give up the patent as a punitive measure against Germany. Does anyone know if there is any truth to that?
@ jokester
Not quite, but Bauer did lose exclusive rights to the name Aspirin through a combination of lax international copyright enforcement, certain laws about trading with the enemy and a stich up with the glorious name of The Great Phenol Plot. But unless and until Horrible Histories covers this that’s the extent of my knowledge.
What I do know though is the bacteria in modern biotic yoghurts are all cultivated originally from the poo of a German soldier (who fascinated doctors because he seemed immune to dysentery)
What?!
Is biotic the same as probiotic?
Is this true in Europe or worldwide?
Who is this guy?
This is too weird.
The story of Solomon’s judgment has infuriated me for a long time.
IIRC, I was taught in Sunday school that the women were two of Solomon’s concubines. They lived together along with lots and lots of other concubines.
The story is enraging because how many women will say, Yeah, cut that baby in half?
And Solomon, the wise one, steps in between two squabbling women with his effin’ brilliant solution — brilliant on some other planet, maybe.
A few years ago, I decided that the story, in addition to extolling Solomon’s wisdom, must also represent women’s role and status in that time and in that place. Better a dead son than no son!
@ Kat
*Warning for icky (yet fascinating) content*
Yeah, I learned this from the best episode of Women’s Hour ever (I don’t listen as part of my pro feminism, I just like Radio 4 generally).
It started as a feature about stool transplants. It transpires that sometimes after people undergo certain treatment, epspecially involving large amounts of antibiotics, it kills off all their intestinal bacteria. Now as it happens, your appendix does have a use, that’s where the reserve store of gut fauna live. However sometimes it needs a bit of a boost. So you find a compatible donor who provides faeces, and that’s inserted back into you to provide a new colony of bacteria.
And that led on to the bit about those posh yoghurt drinks and where they come from. Can’t remember the chap’s name unfortunately, but as mentioned, it was spotted that he never came down with dysentery or any related illnesses even when everyone else did. So they did tests on him and it turned out he had some mutant strain of gut bacteria that was particularly resilient so they harvested his poo and cultivated the bacteria to give to troops. And later on that strain was used commercially.
I love history!
@Alan
Truly amazing. Thanks!
@Kat, Alan: yep, it’s called a stool transplant, and it’s used as a last ditch treatment for Clostridium difficile infections (a particularly nasty bacteria that is normally kept in check by the normal colonic flora, but takes over when the other flora is wiped out, usually by antibiotics).
Re the appendix, we’re still trying to figure out what it’s really good for. The theory Alan provided is currently the most plausible, although it also appears to play a role in immune regulation. At least, people who get their appendix out in their first few years are at markedly increased risk for colonic autoimmune diseases, notably ulcerative colitis.
@ jokester
It certainly would be whilst I had breath in my body.
I’ve checked my donor card and that isn’t mentioned. I wonder if there’s a separate register like with bone marrow?
(Ooh, do you get a sticker, like with blood?)