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Today in unappetizing misogynistic metaphors for women: Hamburger Helper

 

My feelings exactly
My feelings exactly

Today, a food metaphor that won’t make you hungry, courtesy of the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit:

Men Are Hamburger. Women Are Hamburger Helper.

Does hamburger need Hamburger Helper? Of course not. Hamburger can be made into a simple hamburger, or a hearty meatloaf. Bachelors and MGTOW are hamburgers and meatloaves.

Hamburger Helper, on the other hand, is nothing without hamburger. It will sit in the pantry, collecting dust and mites and attracting mice, while the clock ticks closer to the expiration date. Where’s the beef?

Cat ladies and single mothers are boxes of stale Hamburger Helper.

Now, Hamburger Helper is nice to have, if you like Hamburger Helper, and don’t mind all the salt. But hamburger doesn’tneed it. There’s a million other things we can do with hamburger.

Well, if nothing else I think this gives us a little insight into the MGTOW diet.

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Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
8 years ago

@Ooglyboggles

From the Politico article:

Trump spokesman Jason Miller downplayed the conflicting accounts

WHAT. THE. FUCK. JASON MILLER? SERIOUSLY?

Did Trump forget that his fake name when pretending to be his own spokesman is supposed to be JOHN Miller?

My mind is worse than blown.

Orion
Orion
8 years ago

Today a very strange alt-right man told me that the word for white people is “Arians,” not “Aryans,” and that spelling it with a “y” makes me a cuck. I also learned that the “Arian” name does [i]not[/i] come from a Sanksrit-derived word for Persians, but rather from an ancient name for the Israeli Jews.

Ok then.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
8 years ago

It’s true, we’re not sending Mexico our best. We’re sending them criminals. Fascists. Peach-colored psychopaths.

The mainstream media aren’t doing their job in this election. They’re all about ratings, and revenue. It’s in their interest to keep this a horse race with false equivalencies, short news cycles, and “but what about Hillary’s emails?” So no, they’re not going to hold Trump to any kind of presidential standard, no matter how outrageous he is.

They’ve forgotten that if Trump wins, the press will be the first thing he muzzles/disappears.

Noadi
8 years ago

If a bunch of white nationalist Christians start calling themselves Arians I’m going to laugh my mieval history studying ass off (Arianism was an early Christian heresy that denied the Trinity and its followers were called Arians).

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
8 years ago

@Buttercup

psychopaths

Come now…

OoglyBoggles
OoglyBoggles
8 years ago

@Axe
Rachel Mddow does have a clear point we have a systemic disease of nativism whenever parties start to become insufficient. But really since he backed out of yet another debate it has been a joy watching Freep.com go in full denial mode over conflicting messages of “master planner” or “plain coward.” Despite having roots that are directly the victims of Nativist groups, I, probably foolishly believe that fascist nativism is not going to uproar to he levels of previous generations.

As other posters have said, classic bully behavior, once faced with someone who can easily stand up to him, he flees with his tail between his legs.
@PI
Just another example to show his increasing levels of ineptitude. Methinks he has not been getting much sleep before, during and after realizing his main talking point has been slapped down so effortlessly.

varalys the dark
8 years ago

@Alan: I certainly do recall the old ads in comics. It was seeing Lex Luthor or Doctor Doom being defeated by the power of little filled sponge cakes that made me obssessed with trying them. They didn’t disappoint, but it was a long dry spell of Twinkielessness between splitting up with my supplier and Poundland starting to stock them 😀

Robert
Robert
8 years ago

Our local chain ‘pharmacy’ (Walgreen’s) has a bewildering array of foods – Latvian sprats, Swedish flatbread, Mexican nopales (canned), Chinese cookies, and so on. They recently added packaged sushi to their refrigerated area.

I’d have to feel wildly optimistic to get sushi from a Walgreen’s.

I had Sea Monkeys as a child. Since I was the kind of child who would look at them under the microscope they were not a disappointment. Finding out that the man behind Sea Monkeys (and X-Ray Glasses) used his profits to support right-wing causes *was* a disappointment. I got Triopses for my sons; they are like tiny horseshoe crabs and easier to see than brine shrimp.

Fishy Goat
Fishy Goat
8 years ago

🙂 My husband got the kids triopses instead after both of them saw the ‘sea monkeys’ ad and clamoured for them. I think they’re waaaay cooler. 🙂

Redsilkphoenix
Redsilkphoenix
8 years ago

Trump is not the first presidental candidate to propose a wall between Mexico and the US. I forgot who it was off the top of my mind (and my Google-fu isn’t working tonight 🙁 ), but it was some years ago. I recall it because the then-president of the Bricklayers Union did a calculation of how many manhours and materials would be needed to build the thing, and found that it would keep virtually everyone in his union employed for years, so the dude semi-seriously endorsed the guy who suggested that version of the wall.

(I remember the weirdest things and memory fragments sometimes. :/ )

On the other hand, some artists have undertaken building Trump’s wall on their own, though I doubt he’d appreciate what they came up with.

http://hyperallergic.com/310414/artists-start-to-build-trumps-border-wall-using-anti-trump-art/

Handsome "These Pretzels Suck" Jack (formerly Pandapool)

I’d have to feel wildly optimistic to get sushi from a Walgreen’s.

It’s probably the brand of pre-made sushi that’s just, like, imitation crab meat salad wrapped in rice and seaweed with sesame seeds.

It’s alright.

EJ (The Other One)
8 years ago

A lot of supermarket-brand stuff is made by the same companies that make the branded stuff. It’s entirely the same from a food perspective. What differs is people’s attitude towards it, which is fascinating.

EJ (The Other One)
8 years ago

Re walls:
I’ll be fascinated to see what Trump’s fans make of his Mexico visit. Not only did he not get the wall, but a lot of things got said about NAFTA, immigration and trading links which weren’t exactly on-message.

No doubt the truly hardcore Trump fans are telling themselves that this is merely 11-dimensional hyperchess, but this may not reassure the rest of them.

occasional reader
occasional reader
8 years ago

Hello.

Out of topic, but Canadians really love their First Minister.
Now i want to see Hollande as “Super Lax”, or Valls as “Stell Balls”, or Sarkozy as “Doctor Caffeine”, and so on…

Have a nice day.

MarkyMark
MarkyMark
8 years ago

Listen to this one video and you’ll realize the future that can’t be stopped. I’m glad I heard it. You will be too. MGTOW, feminism, MRAs, PUAs and traditionalists will all die off and true freedom for all will take their places. All were necessary, but all will eventually be replaced with a far more worthy end result. We humans. Gotta love us.

Now, I know none of you will listen to it – which makes it that much sweeter. That you won’t know how to adapt make the changes to come all that much more pleasing. I simply put it here as a placeholder. Not even expecting an intelligent reply. I’m just happy to have given you the chance to learn – even though most here will likely not.

Enjoy!

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
8 years ago

@ EJ

A lot of supermarket-brand stuff is made by the same companies that make the branded stuff.

Yeah, there was a list somewhere that showed who made what for whom. Kellogg’s don’t though; it used to be a big part of their marketing that Kellogs don’t make products for anyone else. Of course, the whole history of the Kellogs company is interesting in itself. They actually came into business to cash in on the name of the famous Dr Kellog (by sticking one of his relatives on the board so they could use the name).

Intellectual property law is full of quirky examples like that; it’s why there are two Budweiser companies for example.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko
8 years ago

@MarkyMark

Ooh it’s been a few days now since we’ve had a troll.

Just lemme go grab a snack.

Kat
Kat
8 years ago

@MarkyMark

That you won’t know how to adapt make the changes to come all that much more pleasing.

Thanks, guy. You’re a sweetheart.

Kat
Kat
8 years ago

@Sinkable John

I hear that the trolls of yesteryear were so much better. Well read. Well spoken. Charming. Clever. Could argue all week without even getting tired.

I hear that they were legends.

I’m not sure that I believe it, but that’s what I hear.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
8 years ago

@ varalys

Oh I remember those adverts, Twinkies sounded like the food of the gods. The ads in U.S. comics made America sound like some amazing wonderland and the UK some medieval backwater (we didn’t even have those x-Ray glasses that Robert mentioned or a ‘genuine’ private investigator wallet with badge and ID card)

And wasn’t there some magazine called ‘Grit’ where you just had to sell 4 copies and you got a bike and a BB rifle?

What I loved though was the teach yourself Kung-Fu in 12 easy steps adverts. They’re probably responsible for my love of martial arts (and Bruce Lee obviously). Remember the Black Dragon Ninja Society? The guy behind that is a bit of a legend in the MA world. He’s responsible for the ‘have to register your hands as lethal weapons’ cliche. Brilliant marketing.

ETA: I’m now thinking of a superhero, “70s Comic Man!”. He fights crime fuelled by Twinkies using his Black Dragon fighting skills and assisted by an army of killer Sea Monkeys.

Kat
Kat
8 years ago

@Alan, @varalys

Oh I remember those adverts, Twinkies sounded like the food of the gods. The ads in U.S. comics made America sound like some amazing wonderland.

It’s all true: America is a wonderland.

And Twinkies — OMG, you have no idea. We live on them. We live in Nirvana and we live on Twinkies. And our skin is clear and our bellies are flat.

Not only that, we all have sheriff badges and reside in the Wild West with the beautiful wild horses that Marilyn Monroe loved in The Misfits. It’s true!

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
8 years ago

@ marky mark

Now, I know none of you will listen to it

I did try; but I had to bail after a couple of minutes. The chap has a nice speaking voice; he’s got a bit of a Werner Hertzog thing going on, but would it kill these people to do at least a modicum of preparation?

You can’t just extemporise and stumble your way through public speaking. Rambling, repetitions and forgetting what you were about to say is just not engaging. It sets up what is called ‘listener fatigue’. He could be announcing the secret for turning base metals into gold, but he just can’t hold attention.

You got a bullet point summary of the key argument?

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko
8 years ago

@Kat

The ones I’ve seen recently aren’t even fun to go against. Just plain boring and tedious. I still can’t figure out where on earth you found the patience to deal with the capslock dude in that other thread. Still waiting for a return to that mythical golden age of trolls.

By the way, I’ve made a stash of gifs for future occasions. Mostly cats knocking toddlers down, because that sums the whole thing up pretty well.

@Alan

I tried too, and experienced the same thing you describe. Plus there’s extra effort involved for me to listen to someone speaking english. MarkyMark should post a transcript.

The rest of his post was pretty fun to read though. I always like that whole “future that can’t be stopped” angle. It’s got that certain vibe, something I can’t exactly name, somewhere between deluded cult leader and armchair revolutionary. Though I’m more used to hearing it from overzealous transhumanists.

Kat
Kat
8 years ago

@Alan

You got a bullet point summary of the key argument?

I didn’t last too long either. Something about how marriage is all washed up for the millenials, as is monogamy.

Weirdly enough, I heard the exact same thing — a lot — when I was in college, and I’m a baby boomer.

So far, marriage and monogamy have, for the most part, held up.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
8 years ago

@ Kat

When I first saw “ET” I genuinely couldn’t get my head around the fact that Americans just lived in regular houses; my internal perception of the U.S. was that you all lived in skyscrapers.

I must have subconsciously known that you had houses, there was that one ‘Petrocelli’ was eternally building for a start. But that suburban normality in ET was just so, well, ‘alien’ ironically enough.

I could see you living in Dallas mansions or Las Vegas homes where you parked the car inside the living room (why didn’t Dan Tanner die of carbon monoxide poisoning?) or even seedy New York apartment buildings; but houses; that just didn’t seem right.

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