Today, a food metaphor that won’t make you hungry, courtesy of the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit:
Men Are Hamburger. Women Are Hamburger Helper.
Does hamburger need Hamburger Helper? Of course not. Hamburger can be made into a simple hamburger, or a hearty meatloaf. Bachelors and MGTOW are hamburgers and meatloaves.
Hamburger Helper, on the other hand, is nothing without hamburger. It will sit in the pantry, collecting dust and mites and attracting mice, while the clock ticks closer to the expiration date. Where’s the beef?
Cat ladies and single mothers are boxes of stale Hamburger Helper.
Now, Hamburger Helper is nice to have, if you like Hamburger Helper, and don’t mind all the salt. But hamburger doesn’tneed it. There’s a million other things we can do with hamburger.
Well, if nothing else I think this gives us a little insight into the MGTOW diet.
Re: Food quirks, I am not a fussy eater but I cannot feckin’ stand onions unless they are pretty much disintegrated into a stew or something. Funny thing is, I do like garlic. It’s like I’m a bastardized vampire or something. As far as drinks go, I don’t put ice in any drink but water because I don’t want to water down a perfectly good drink.
@ Catalpa: Re: powdered milk, I hear you loud and clear! Whenever we had to drink that shit when my siblings and I were kids, I would insist that Mom flavor it with vanilla first. I’d also check very carefully for lumps…one of the grossest things ever was finding a lump of powder that refused to mix. Yecch!
Do you like caramelized onions?
Did someone say powdered milk?
My late father had one of those jobs that are now denounced as un-American and Satanic by the right wing: a union job!
And sometimes they would go on strike — for a long time.
After a few months, the union would start handing out US government surplus food. Big cans of generic Spam. Ten-pound towers of cheese. Powdered eggs. Powdered milk.
I was a way fussy eater, but I loved the government stuff. My mother would have to add boiling hot water and use an egg beater to get the lumps out of the milk. Delicious!
And powdered eggs — what a treat!
The cheese and the Spam were salty and tasty.
@Jack
Cool! Funny(?) thing. There’s a list of some stimming examples with rocking and scratching on it. Was doing both while I read it, and didn’t even notice. Fucked up how autistic people are seen as ‘crazy weirdos’ for doing the same shit a lot of neurotypical people do, cos theirs is ‘inconvenient’ or whatever (read: causes momentary unease to the ‘normals’)
*puts soapbox back in linen closet*
Food quirk: I’ve slept maybe 6 hours intermittently in the last 48 or so. Some can operate like that, I’m barely hanging on. I’m trying to fix my wonky schedule, fatigue myself into passing out for a full 8ish. Except I hafta wait til midnight, cos I gotta have my bowl of cereal at midnight. Nevermind that my arbitrary eating time routines are how I got myself into this pickle in the 1st place. Aw well, hopefully won’t matter in an hour ?
@Nequam:
Not by themselves but cooked into something.
@Kat: Well shit! It seems like, according to the right-wingers, I’m a former unAmerican Satanist!
Re: The powdered milk–I’ll have to remember that.
I still say half chuck and half sirloin ground together with salt, pepper and Worcestershire sauce is one of the greatest burger patties ever.
Not that I’m likely to have it anytime soon. On the plus side, I’m learning lots of new recipes now that I’m mostly vegetarian.
@(((Violet)))
It would be great to have a lot more un-American (anti-American!), Satanic jobs nowadays.
Back in the day, at least where I lived, those were just called jobs.
Funny…the post itself didn’t make me hungry but all these food comments are!
Powered milk? No.
Powdered toast? Yes!
Sorry. Couldn’t resist.
My dad always likes to use garlic powder. Also, I think I mentioned it before a while back on here that I make these soft tacos on a panini maker (I’ve recently upgraded to a Cuisinart Griddler because it’s bigger and has variable temperature), use ground beef or pork along with whatever other ingredients you want (I use cheddar because I’m a dumb white kid with trash taste in cheeses). For the beef, just add taco seasoning and I forget how to make the pork, but it involves using apple cider vinegar in some capacity.
Also, I made some Ghiradeli brownies recently, and out of all the storebought pastry mixes it’s easily the best one out there. They’re just so rich, and I highly reccomend them to anyone who likes anything chocolate.
I made a pot of spaghetti with fresh pesto tonight. It was so good my husband had a second helping. Three bunches of basil, a handful of parsley, and so on.
Regarding powdered milk – when I was a wee sprog, my mother had worked out a formula. Half reconstituted nonfat dry milk, half fresh whole milk. Seven kids encourages creative thinking. So one of the phrases from my childhood was, “whose turn is it to make the milk?” It was years before I learned that not everyone did that.
@HJ & Axe
Yeah, I do a lot of stimming. Oral fixation was probably spot on too. :p
—
On a different note, Fingie is HOME after almost six weeks at a cat hotel.
Well, as expected this is by now offtopic (kitty!!!!11!), but for anyone intetested in history of food, this article on the rise and fall of the American mince pie is a great read:
http://www.chicagoreader.com/chicago/mince-pie-the-real-american-pie/Content?oid=1267308
Also, re JoeB and submarines, my BF is ex-Navy and used to work on one of the big nuclear subs (Los Angeles class). The problem with food on a submarine, as I understood from him, is that food quality declined the longer you were out – and that could be a couple months. (Didn’t understand from your comment if you were a submariner yourself, so I guess I might have just told you something you already know; in which case, I apologise.)
Hamburger Helper without the hamburger is macaroni & cheese, fettucine alfredo, noodles stroganoff — just to name a few. Without the hamburger it’s pasta and sauce, and that’s just fine on its own. The reason it’s called Hamburger Helper is because that ‘boring old hamburger’ needs help — it needs something to make it palatable.
Powdered milk is a traditional part of some of my favourite South African recipes. The stuff is delicious. More importantly, I can get lactose free powdered milk, which is delicious and doesn’t make me ill.
@IP:
Fingie looks adorable there. That’s the look of a cat who is very glad to be home and doesn’t plan to leave again for a while.
Aside from the occasional cooking disaster, it would be easier to list the things that I *don’t* like than things that I do. That list is short and pretty random:
Cauliflower
Chocolate
Cucumbers (but not pickles)
Kiwifruit
Quince (raw, anyway, haven’t tried it cooked yet)
Anything with artificial banana flavoring
And that’s it. If you count things which taste good in small doses but awful in larger doses, then add mayonnaise, arugula, dandelion, chrysanthemum, and anything sweetened with HFCS (other sugars and sugar substitutes don’t have that issue, though I can’t really taste dextrose) to that list. I suppose you could sort of include ghost peppers because it becomes painful to consume more than small doses, but that’s normal and not really a taste issue.
Weird food confessions: One of my favorite foods is natto, a Japanese food that even Japanese people don’t like – okay, a little exaggerated, but you get the idea. It’s soybeans fermented with bacteria that normally lives on grass, if anyone’s wondering. Also I normally avoid ginger, because it gives me an addictive high, especially when eaten raw. Occasionally I drink a mix of strong green tea and white grape juice. I don’t drink coffee much, but when I do I like it flavored with butter.
…sorta on topic, I don’t dislike hamburger helper, it’s just kinda dull. If I must have something like that, then I’d prefer instant pasta with alfredo sauce. Or white cheddar mac. But since I normally have time to cook, I rarely buy that kind of junk.
Powdered milk is awesome. Especially in coffee. All the tasty without any extra water. Yep, I just got up and am having mine right now.
Huh, the burger thing. Okay, MGTOWs. First off, please fucking learn to metaphor. Seriously. It’s getting old. Very old. Second, “men don’t need women but women need men” ? Okay so a) the prophet of all bachelors has something* to tell you. b) Women don’t need you. That’s why you’re still angrily posting on reddit trying to compare people to food products.
*Edit : couldn’t link, so here it is
Seriously, I wish these guys were hamburger. Hamburger, at least, has an expiration date and can be tossed in the trash. However, as is readily apparent the MGTOW crowd never intends to leave. They are going to spend the rest of their lives hanging around like Spanish moss assuring the rest of us they don’t need women. In fact, they only obsess about women approximately 100% of their waking hours!
Hello.
Yeah, it is totally wrong. It is “Where’s my Cow ?” !
Hmm, there can be sensuality involved with food, but this metaphore is all but that.
Have a nice day.
Men are spam
@pinko
I like Coffee Mate, because I don’t use milk and it just goes bad in the fridge. Coffee Mate seems to last forever. One word of advice, don’t do what my mum did and pour the coffee with Coffee Mate in it back into the kettle to heat it up, because it just produced loads of sticky foam which overflowed everywhere out the lid of the kettle.
Re: coffee mate
In my younger camping days I took the standard advice which was to put a supply of tea, coffee, coffee mate and Bovril into rubber tubes and put them inside tent poles (this was before those springy carbon fibre things). The theory was that you’d always have an emergency supply of hot beverages.
*Cut to one rainy day on the moors.*
“I’m freezing”
“Don’t worry, we can soon warm up!” *explains about the emergency stash*
“So to have a cup of tea we just need to take the tent down?”
“Oh yeah….This sounded better in the survival guide”
I would have assumed that MGTOWs’ meat of choice would have been frozen chicken breast–y’know, since that can be thrown plain into a very hot oven and cooked to the consistency of a briquette. (Remember that fiasco?)
In terms of food quirks, my big one is eggs. I can eat them scrambled, but only if they’re cooked within very narrow parameters (it’s one of a very few things I’m picky about). But I cannot STAND boiled eggs in any form. The flavor, the texture, the smell… any of the factors on their own trip my gag reflex, and all of them combined is my food nightmare. Opening a jar of mayonnaise can make me feel ill because it smells so badly of eggs.
But scrambled eggs? No big deal. Throw some cheese on it and I may actually get excited for it.
[Edit: Not sure why my avatar is a different color? Oh well]
@ penny
I loved that article!
That’s a guarantee you never get from modern food manufacturers. Thanks a bunch Monsanto!
So it was women’s suffrage that lead to the demise of the mince pie in the U.S.? Notice Gloria Steinam never mentions that eh? 🙂