Today, a food metaphor that won’t make you hungry, courtesy of the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit:
Men Are Hamburger. Women Are Hamburger Helper.
Does hamburger need Hamburger Helper? Of course not. Hamburger can be made into a simple hamburger, or a hearty meatloaf. Bachelors and MGTOW are hamburgers and meatloaves.
Hamburger Helper, on the other hand, is nothing without hamburger. It will sit in the pantry, collecting dust and mites and attracting mice, while the clock ticks closer to the expiration date. Where’s the beef?
Cat ladies and single mothers are boxes of stale Hamburger Helper.
Now, Hamburger Helper is nice to have, if you like Hamburger Helper, and don’t mind all the salt. But hamburger doesn’tneed it. There’s a million other things we can do with hamburger.
Well, if nothing else I think this gives us a little insight into the MGTOW diet.
@ Falconer
Just for you
@Oogly
Haha! Brilliant
Speaking of which, I recently say a taboola ad that had a picture of who I assume was Melania Trump in front of a Murican flag with the caption, and I quote: 15 Photos Wife Donald Trump Spectacular. Nothing has ever been more fitting
ETA: speak of the fuckin devil, that ad popped up as soon as I mentioned it. Spoopy…
@Falconer
Handy Manny tho…
Sorry to derail, but I have a situation. Nothing earth-shattering, but I’m bothered.
Husbeast and his girlfriend left yesterday for a fairy-themed event up north. GF spent a couple of hours at my house waiting for Husbeast to get home from work. We were sitting in the living rm. watching MSNBC’s coverage of the Trump visit to Mexico and his speech afterwards, rolling our eyes at his statements about how the ‘blacks and hispanics’ should vote for him.
All okay and hunky-dunky, even though GF is not really my cuppa tea to socialize with. (not sure how to bring this up to Husbeast, but that’s a different issue)
Then, she tells me a story about how she was discussing some related thing with a black friend of hers and how she told them how the Irish were treated worse than the black slaves back in the day! Yep, she pulled that old piece of garbage with a black person. I was horrified and, as I am wont to do (from too many years of retail conditioning) I shut down and clammed up. Husbeast came home soon after and they packed up and left.
All I can think of to do is send her some links on FB, but she will be spending the night on Monday and I really have some anxiety about this.
I also had to restart my computer and lost my autofill; I may get my own handle wrong and go into moderation. Bah. Here goes…
@Hambeast
Excuse me for being too forward but…
I don’t think it’s a different issue. I think it might be the same issue. I know nothing about romantic relationships in general, let alone yours. I do know a little something about interpersonal anxiety tho. I have no advice (fuck it, if you figure it out, you can teach me), I just thought I’d mention that. For some reason. Sorry for butting in
@ hambeast
The Irish certainly had some terrible experiences in Ireland. I have relatives who curse the name Oliver Cromwell to this day. And you may recall me mentioning why it would be a bad idea to order a ‘black & tan’ in a pub on the Kilburn High Road. Even in my lifetime property landlords had signs saying “No Blacks, No Dogs, No Irish”.
That was over here though. The US experience is somewhat different. The Irish travelled to the States voluntarily. That wasn’t the experience of the black slaves. There was obviously some prejudice against the Irish in certain parts back in the 19th century, but it didn’t result in slavery or lynchings.
Even today, if I was pulled by the cops in the US I’d feel perfectly safe and happy producing my Irish passport. Certainly another happier and safer than a lot of black folks I suspect.
Axe – You’re probably right. It’s not a conversation I look forward to.
Alan – The thing is, apparently the Stormfront crowd started a meme back in 2013 or so, complete with books (by non-historians) published about how there were actually more Irish ‘slaves’ in the New World than African ones and that they were treated way worse. Because an African slave was expensive and Irish were much cheaper.* And how any talk of reparations is stupid; the Irish got over it, so should the blacks. *grr*
There’s no actual historical evidence for this, of course. But the morsel of truth around which this nonsense was built is that King James did send indentured servants to the West Indies and North American colonies in the 1600s. But the truth they skip over is that the Irish were indentured and got their freedom eventually (also, there were only around 10,000 of them over a period of around ten years.)
*Of course it was cheaper to buy the contract on an indentured servant than to buy a chattel slave! You only got seven years on the contract (usually) but you got the chattel slave, plus any and all of their descendants for the duration their lives!!
I was just gob-smacked when GF recounted her story. I also really side-eyed the part where she claimed that the black friend in question nodded in agreement.
I don’t have any advice. My MO in these situations is to either say something like “I’ve heard that it wasn’t nearly as bad for the Irish but maybe I’m wrong” or something equally soft and uncertain. One thing I might feel comfortable trying is suggesting a book on the subject. I’ve recommended The Caliban and the Witch to someone who didn’t believe me that our capitalist system is rooted in sexism, for example.
kupo – There aren’t any books on the truthful side of the subject, but there is a very good article by an Irish historian on the SLPC website from last Feb. who is going to write one.
Most of my discomfort is coming from the fact that I will have to explain my reaction to her even if she didn’t notice anything yesterday. This is someone I will have to deal with for the foreseeable future even if it wasn’t someone I chose to have in my life and I don’t know her well enough to know how to handle this.
I think I’ll probably approach it from the angle of “I know you wouldn’t want to spread something untrue that came from white supremacists, so please read this article.”
Cracked have done a serious post about Trump and the alt-right. Nothing we don’t know already here, but more people spreading the word is good. I’m guessing the comments will be pretty vile, I’ve already skipped onto an article about gross recipes from the 60’s, much better for my blood pressure.
“Yeah, I totally want you all to ignore me! That’s why I keep showing up!”
@varalys
I have a complicated relationship with Cracked. On one hand they make alot of clickbait articles that after being a reader for years realized wasn’t that funny or accurate. On the other hand they are perfectly capable of showing articles like these, the lives of women ostracized for beung a whustle blower, people who work in SVU, and other dark topics. It’s like the guy at work at makes corny jokes and comes off as an idiot, but then you realize he volunteers in Social Services, is very aware of awful things and isn’t afraid of speaking about them.
@Hambeast
If you are decided on bringing it up with her, I might approach it from the angle of “I found the things you said about X interesting so I did some research, and did you know that/it turns out that…” It can be difficult to bring something up after the fact just to correct someone without them getting really defensive, but trying to make it appear as a continuation of the conversation, and implying that you also didn’t know these things could help.
edit: I realize this involves a bit of “truth bending” in the interest of reducing friction – and if that isn’t your jam, then please disregard.
Also, maybe it would be useful to discuss it with Husbeast and get his input. It clearly bothers you, and he might be able to provide some insight towards a satisfactory resolution. That could also provide a good opportunity to segue into your reservations about socializing with her.
Breaking in with some personal news.
I saw my doctor today, and he’s pleased with how I’m doing so far. Also, in terms of physical therapy, I successfully managed 2 short rounds of weightlifting. And I did some knitting.
@Hambeast
http://gifstumblr.com/images/true-story_1413.gif
Wait, refresh my memory. Were Irish people legally counted as a fraction of a full person? I musta missed that in history class. Murican schools, amirite?
I will nth both yourself and others as far as starting cordially. I get the shakes and the sweats and the breathing… Point is, it gets worse when it’s about to be a confrontation rather than a nice talk. Still difficult, but I’m less likely to freeze up and more likely to get words out
The best of luck, and try not to put it off too much (if you’re anything like me there’ll be at least a little procrastination). Love and hugs 🙂
ETA: @Vicki P
Woohoo! Getting ripped! And knitting. Also awesome! Speedy recovery 😀
@ Axe
Thank you. 🙂 I’m determined not to let my brain bleed get in the way of being, well, ME.
@ hambeast
There’s a kernel of truth in many great lies. Of course white people have been exploited as free/cheap labour in the past, whether as actual slaves, indentured servants or transported convicts.
But, in the same way the Holocaust has a particular place in the history of genocide, the experience of black slaves in the new world has a unique horror to it. Not least because the effects still impact today.
Rich Australians can joke about their criminal ancestry and American chiefs of police can reminisce about their great grandfathers arriving at Ellis Island with not a shilling in their pocket. But the simple fact is they didn’t have to be accompanied to de-segregated schools by armed guards within living memory.
(Although if you do feel the need to assuage your guilt to us poor white folks I can set up PayPal account)
@VP
Congratulations on your workput and your recovery!
@ vicky p
Yey, I am so glad to hear that.
And I am also so hoping we get a “do you even lift?” troll just so you get to go “Well actually…”
Is this some sort of “I don’t need women!! See I can even make my own meals!! If you don’t come beg for me to let you make dinner for me I’ll go my own way!!!” attention-seeking message?
Please, please, please just go, dude. With or without your Hamburger Helper, I don’t care.
Victorious Parasol – Yay for knitting! I started a poncho last week and overdid it, so this week my carpal tunnel is letting me know it. I’m gonna try a few rows this evening. But we both know that “a few rows” is probably a bit unrealistic, don’t we? >.< Katie, help me!
Axe – Yup, I'm a big old procrastinator! I'm going to try to do this Monday night if they get back early enough. If not, I plan to message her on FB.
dlouwe – I will probably take your advice. It seems a good way to do it, especially since I tend to be more intimidating than I realize in person, especially early in relationships before people I meet realize I'm really just a big ol' softie.
Thanks, everyone! Just being able to kind of talk it out a bit here has helped immensely. All of the folk I know outside of here are away for the holiday weekend, so once again, Cheers!
Mammothers are the BEST!!
@OoglyBoggles: I do know what you mean about Cracked, but it’s thanks to a comment thread on there earlier this year that lead me to google this site and bought it to my attention, so for that I give great thanks.
@Alan
I’m imagining an Asian woman going around Kent or some such, pleading for ‘just the cost of a cup of coffee’ to take care of the ‘native population’. Tons of grainy B roll. They’ll send a brochure with a picture of 7 year old Avery Lancaster-Smythe (poshest name I could think of) to guilt people into sponsoring him so his parents can afford public school and that summer holiday to the Riviera. Won’t someone think of teh whites!?
@ Axe
“If you can spare just £12 a month, that will pay for poor Tarquin to receive 20 hours talk time and unlimited free texts.”
Axe and Alan:
“Or a one time gift of £100 will provide Phoebe-Rose with enough organic, GMO-free food to last an entire fortnight.”
@Victorious Parasol
Good for you! I’m rooting for you.