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Today in unappetizing misogynistic metaphors for women: Hamburger Helper

 

My feelings exactly
My feelings exactly

Today, a food metaphor that won’t make you hungry, courtesy of the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit:

Men Are Hamburger. Women Are Hamburger Helper.

Does hamburger need Hamburger Helper? Of course not. Hamburger can be made into a simple hamburger, or a hearty meatloaf. Bachelors and MGTOW are hamburgers and meatloaves.

Hamburger Helper, on the other hand, is nothing without hamburger. It will sit in the pantry, collecting dust and mites and attracting mice, while the clock ticks closer to the expiration date. Where’s the beef?

Cat ladies and single mothers are boxes of stale Hamburger Helper.

Now, Hamburger Helper is nice to have, if you like Hamburger Helper, and don’t mind all the salt. But hamburger doesn’tneed it. There’s a million other things we can do with hamburger.

Well, if nothing else I think this gives us a little insight into the MGTOW diet.

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Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

@ Axe & SunnyS

“Send your donations to: ‘Cheques for the Privileged‘”

(I’ll get my coat)

Monzach
Monzach
4 years ago

@LindsayIrene

That GIF is from my absolute favorite episode of Chris Hardwick’s All-Star Celebrity Bowling by the way. ^_^ It’s amazing to see how quickly CM Punk loses his mojo when people stop paying attention to him…

ETA: Woah, new avatar, but it’s still the same old me. ô.Ô

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
4 years ago

@sunny
locally sourced, artisanally grown, paleo compliant, free range, fair trade, all natural, and whole grain. Can’t forget that

@Alan
Dayum. Aight, you win…

pitshade
pitshade
4 years ago

Without trawling the archives myself, I wonder if this Brandon troll is the same rancid individual who sometimes called himself Sovereignist?

Ooglyboggles
4 years ago

@pitshade
You’re gonna have to ask Super Fucking Hard Chairs on that one.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
4 years ago

@Oogly

You’re gonna have to ask Super Fucking Hard Chairs on that one

Let’s pretend I have the knowledge, skills, or artistic acumen needed to photoshop GLaDOS with Goku hair 😀

Kat
Kat
4 years ago

@Alan

“Send your donations to: ‘Cheques for the Privileged‘”

So privileged that even “checks” is spelled in a fancy-pants, I went to public school (you Americans call it private school) way. . . .

I kid.

Kat
Kat
4 years ago

Not sure why my avatar is blue now. It’s still me.

kupo
kupo
4 years ago

@Oogly
Awesome!

@Kat
Several people’s avatars have changed, and I’ve even seen them look different in the recent post list than in the actual thread (though now those are both the same).

Kat
Kat
4 years ago

@kupo
The mysteries of the Interwebz. . . .

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo

When the David’s away, the avatars will play!

Penny Psmith
Penny Psmith
4 years ago

Re “Cheques for the Privileged”, I am now reminded of Catherine Tate’s “AGA Saga Woman”. Those who are familiar (Alan?) will see why; those who aren’t, I hope you enjoy this as much as I do:

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko
4 years ago

@Penny Psmith

Catherine Tate is the essence of awesome.
I hate laugh tracks though. It’s difficult enough for me to listen to something in english without it getting drowned in pre-recorded laughter 😐

[TW : mention of domestic violence/murder]

In other, stupider and scarier news, this was spotted on RoK, as part of an article titled “What To Do If Your Wife Is Cheating On You” :

What do you do? Double homicide? Beat the fuck out of both of them? Quietly slink away down the hallway? Burst into tears like a bitch?

My face and my desk have been real friendly this morning.

[TW : mention of domestic violence/murder]

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
4 years ago

@Sinkable John “Talk to her and use your words like an adult” never seems to be an option with these guys, does it?

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko
4 years ago

I can’t even begin to point out all that’s wrong with that single paragraph. You could paraphrase Jon Stewart’s “crystal duh” line replacing “stupid” with “toxic masculinity” and it still wouldn’t do it justice. It’s like all of it, simultaneously. Toxic all the way down to the base of every single word used. A tiny summary of the author’s gigantic assholeness in its entirety.

Lea
Lea
4 years ago

The manosphere is encouraging men to commit acts of violence while trying to shame them for having any emotion other than rage?

I’m shocked, shocked I say!

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
4 years ago

The scary thing is, guys who google “What To Do If Your Wife Is Cheating On You” (or similar) may land on that article, because of RoK’s high SEO ranking. Instead of genuinely helpful advice, they’ll find a bunch of rageaholics extolling honor killing as a solution. That’s not a good headspace for someone who’s feeling hurt and betrayed and confused.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

@ penny

Those sketches really resonate for me; on so many levels.

I have very fond memories of Tottenham. Not least because I regularly used to walk past a plaque commemorating Luke Howard “Namer of clouds”. That’s such a lovely job description. I imagine him going “That’s Barry the cloud, that one is Debbie….”

Croquembouche of patriarchy
Croquembouche of patriarchy
4 years ago

maybe content warning for rape apologia

American peeps, apologies if this has been discussed already here, but – the Nate Parker “campus incident” and his addressing of it in
http://www.ebony.com/entertainment-culture/nate-parker-rape-charges-consent#axzz4IXuYYFFQ

So much about this interview reassured me he was trying to learn. So much of this horrified me.

Nate Parker: Absolutely! I understand now, but I was speaking from a standpoint of ignorance.
EBONY.com: Two weeks ago, you mean?
Nate Parker: Yeah. Well, when you don’t know, you don’t know. It’s like, if I don’t know how to swim and two weeks later I know how to swim, I know how to swim.

EBONY.com: I think people might come to a place–maybe not of acceptance–but you mentioned tonight that you want to be a leader. So I think if you took this situation and went to campuses to talk to men and women around sex, drinking, and consent, people would come to see that you’re trying, that you’re genuine.
Nate Parker: This is the first step. You will know my commitment by the next few steps.

Is this Brock Turner all over again?

Three weeks ago, despite having been charged and tried back then, this was a part of his life he never thought about. Then, after media attention, he finally started asking questions and listening to answers – he learnt how to swim, and all in two weeks. Now, he is considering teaching others the things he ignored for 17 years and studied for the past fortnight.
Is he genuine? And if he is, is he likely to be a successful swim coach?

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo

Everything Parker says is reading more as “I’m sorry I was caught.” I think he was counting on to shield him and keep his past from coming back to haunt him. He’s scrambling to say the right things so we all do the “he’s a good man who made a mistake, let’s not ruin his life” thing.

If he’s only learned that rape is wrong in the past couple of weeks, how many other victims does he have?

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
4 years ago

@Oogly
Yay!

@Croquembouche
If the trial, his partner in crime getting sentenced (if only temporarily) and the victim’s suicide didn’t teach him to swim, I don’t know what wizardry coulda done so in the last 14 days. Also what’s he gonna teach? He got away with it. What’s the lesson? You too can become a movie star, so long as you get outta rape charges on a technicality? You’re not qualified to teach floral arrangement after 2 weeks! There are people, indeed men, who’ve spent years tackling the subject of consent, victimization, culture, law, etc. Let them teach. Nate Parker can release his fuckin movie and then never show his fuckin face again! *grumble grumble*

ETA: just wanted to clarify, not mad at you Croquembouche 🙂

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo

Just noticed too late to edit that I left “rape culture” out. That sentence that doesn’t make sense should read “he was counting on rape culture to shield him.”

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko
4 years ago

@Buttercup

To their credit (ouch, I feel dirty now) the article as a whole doesn’t explicitly (the implicit is another story…) advocate for outright murder or violence. It’s not that much better though. It boils down to three points, verbatim : 1) Gather evidence, 2) Leave her, 3) Don’t get married in the first place.

… yeah it’s still wrong as fuck. And there needs to be some serious change on how we view relationships as a society before we see that kind of article disappear for good.

I’m probably biased, as someone who’s been cheated on by a girlfriend, and who cheated on another a few years later. But still, the whole fucking mentality they peddle is the root of the problem.

Re : Nate Parker

“It’s okay because I didn’t know rape is bad.”

Riiiight… Fuck you, Nate Parker. Fuck you a thousand times.

OoglyBoggles
OoglyBoggles
4 years ago

Unless Nate Parker does everything in his power to make up for his crimes instead of using this as an opportunity to “wipe the slate clean”, I only have utter fucking scorn.

Croquembouche of patriarchy
Croquembouche of patriarchy
4 years ago

@WWTH: 17 years ago he was sorry he was caught (and caught gaslighting). Now, he’s telling us it’s a fair cop, but society was to blame. Who knows what he will be telling us in another 17 years.

@Axe, fret not, I would have read you the same way without the clarification.
Personal growth is the most alchemical transformation there is IMHO, but I don’t think that’s the wizardry we are seeing here – or it would have happened as a response to these events, not to media interest in these events.

Nevertheless, if he wants to go on a tour of campuses presenting himself as an object lesson in how one’s rapey actions can affect not only one’s victim but more importantly one’s future career, it might be a more compelling argument to some rape-inclined folk than an appeal to their sense of common humanity would be.

(((Hambeast))) Now With Extra Parentheses
(((Hambeast))) Now With Extra Parentheses
4 years ago

Croquembouche – I wonder if there was a dead fish upon the landing? Joking aside, I think you’re right.

Croquembouche of patriarchy
Croquembouche of patriarchy
4 years ago

(((Hambeast))),
It also has a “She turned me into a newt…
I got better” vibe.
to mix metaphors, [citation needed]. ETA : For the getting better aspect, that is.

Croquembouche of patriarchy
Croquembouche of patriarchy
4 years ago

Also (((Hambeast))), I tried to ignore the dead fish Mondegreen, but I just can’t. You are a cunning hambeast.

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