Ever since the execrable Roosh Valizadeh decided he’d rather be a patriarch than a pickup artist, he and the writers on his Return of Kings garbage site have been singing the praises of traditional religion.
Not so much for them, or for the male readers of his site, very few of whom seem to be religious, but for women and girls. In Roosh’s fantasy world, you see, traditional religion means more hot young virgins for him.
But how does the aspiring patriarch choose what religion to pretend to believe in order to score himself a virginal wife who will probably cook dinner for him and wash his fetid socks?
Enter regular Return of Kings contributor Max Roscoe with a new series promising to answer that important question. Roscoe, who previously wrote about his failed attempts to pick up chicks at what he decided was a too-liberal church retreat, has generously agreed to attend services of three relatively conservative faiths in order to scope out hot virgin chicks for the benefit of Return of Kings readers.
First up, the Mormons.
Roscoe starts off with some general impressions of Mormons:
Mormons are extremely family oriented. They are very clean, and often talk like Ned Flanders.
Then, after describing a rather uneventful visit to a local Mormon ward, Roscoe offers his assessment of the pros and cons of the religion. He praises Mormonism for being, among other things, a “very patriarchal” religion that is “nominally Christian [and] moderately accepted in [the] West,” then rattles off a slightly longer list of cons, including
- Dubious beliefs
- Prohibitions on alcohol, caffeine, and other intoxicants …
- Probably the most hostile to the ideas of “game”
He’s also not impressed with the Morman church’s renunciation of plural marriage, which causes him to “wonder if they will not cave to demands of the corrupt outside world at some point.”
While Roscoe himself isn’t too keen on becoming a Mormon, he sees some hope that the religion could help Return of Kings readers in their search for virgins.
Sure, you might get stuck playing a lot “of board games and bible trivia [and] hanging out with the extended church family.” And you’ll have to stop banging sluts. Oh, and you’ll probably have to actually become a Mormon yourself.
“But the payoff,” he happily concludes,
is an extremely submissive wife who knows that her eternal salvation depends on fulfilling her motherly and wifely duties so that one day you can have endless celestial sex among the gods. Expect a Mormon girl to barely know what a penis or vagina is, but to do anything that her Priesthood holder (you) tells her. … the only single women I saw were in middle or high school.
I would make a joke here but honestly I feel a bit ill.
Actually, I’m pretty sure dread game is their entire schtick.
It’s really good to hear from you again, Paradoxy. It sounds like you’ve landed well and settled in with some great folks. All the best for the person arranging an interview!
Our BDSM community here has the same thing; we refer to it as 2DOM4U behaviour and it’s the subject of widespread mockery. Sadly there seems to be a neverending stream of such people. I’ve heard stories of some places where they’ve taken over the community and driven off everyone else, but thankfully never been to one.
Yeah, that gave me pause too. It also kind of seems like classic blame shifting. “I’m going to try to not scream at you or insult you or threaten you, but I might not be able to resist doing those things if you make me mad enough, so you need to have an emergency fund.”
It doesn’t really seem like he’s taking full responsibility for his behaviour.
ETA: it also occurs to me that obliquely dropping in mentions that the relationship could end could also be a manipulative move. “This could end us. Do you want that? I’m such a good guy, looking out for you, trying to get you to save money. I’m just going to work into the conversation that you may be ending our relationship here.”
If any of Roosh’s followers would like to see what really happens when an older man converts to the LDS church, they should watch New York Doll, a documentary film about Arthur Kane. Kane joined the church when he was trying to get sober, and credited it with saving his life. He lived out the rest of his life working for the church, living hand to mouth. Nobody was lining up to marry him, and he did seem a bit lonely. But he was sincere in his conversion, so he didn’t too much.
But I know that none of Roosh’s fans want to see that. It destroys the fantasy.
LG, having read the rest of your posts, I think I may have leapt to conclusions in my last post. But CHRIST, your husband sounds like a lot of work. I just got out of a relationship myself with a guy that expected me to be his on-call therapist day or night (but who called me “needy” when I asked him to reciprocate, and rolled his eyes at me if I even asked for a hug.) Like an idiot, I wasted WAY too much time trying to make him “get” it. So I understand emotional exhaustion very well, and still your story makes me want to crawl into bed and sleep for a week.
Y’know, when we’re young there’s this romantic idea of the “complicated, sensitive” guy. “Ooh, he’s so emotionally complex, that’s so attractive!” As an older woman, I’m like, NOPE. Give me an emotionally simple man who does the dishes, and I’m happy. Or, you know, no man at all. Because right now, being single is honestly the BEST.
@Hambeast, I bet that’d work well with a nice squash! Ooh, you could do that with a spaghetti squash and you’d get, like, noodly-garlic-cheese in it. That sounds awesome.
I think reading that Roscoe guy’s unapologetically misogynistic, predatory bullshit just made me throw up in my mouth a little. Having been following this blog for several years (more or less regularly), I should be used to awful bile like this by now, but apparently not. To hell with these guys.
@Anarchonist: I know right? Fortunately for them, The Purge is not real. If it were they’d be *royally* screwed. Get it?
On the topic of zucchini recipes, I love this one: http://allrecipes.com/recipe/173694/zucchini-souffle-with-monterey-jack-cheese/
I made it recently with scallop summer squash and fontina and it was amazing.
Thanks Kupo! That actually has a recipe on it for the zucchini I was talking about!
http://allrecipes.com/recipe/146137/zucchini-skins/?internalSource=rr_recipe&referringId=173694&referringContentType=recipe&clickId=right%20rail%205&AnalyticsEvent=right%20rail%20nav
It really doesn’t need all the sour cream and stuff on it, just have them as-is! Great cold as snacks, they keep okay in the fridge as well. Very tasty and good for you!
@L.G.
Please seek the guidance of the appropriate DV groups in your area. They can provide invaluable information and support to you during this time.
I would caution you regarding giving him reading material about abuse simply from experience – it gives them a how-to manual for getting around ‘the system’ (at least it did in my case, having spent the better part of a decade with an abuser myself).
Gather around those who support you emotionally, mentally, and physically.
This is very true.
Thank you, Ktoryx. A lot of people in the thread so far are making assumptions about his behavior that are kinda far off the mark, but I don’t blame them at all. Abusers tend to be more predictable and this guy doesn’t fit a lot of the standard bill, or any of the Lundy Bancroft archetypes (which I have found useful in understanding my father, as well as a couple other relationships I’ve had).
“A lot of work” is precisely how to sum up the problem, here. A lot of work, a lot of lazy leaving-things-to-me, a dash of deliberately wearing me down sometimes, and a teeeeensy bit of scary threatening-ness deployed at very opportune moments.
I should probably mention that he is a very physically imposing and potentially dangerous man, and he knows it. He has several years of quality martial arts training under his belt. But he’s never hit me, never hit *anyone* outside of a class situation as far as I know. He is respectful of women in situations of consensual hitting or simulated violence – he’s an actor and has been cast as a violent rapist more than once.
I grilled him a bit last night about his most recent threatening behavior, which was some looming and violent posturing during a fight back in December. He claims he didn’t want or intend to hit me at the time, but he *did* want me to think he *could.* I believe him. And what’s more, I’m starting to see that this is his whole deal, being threatening with all this “ooh, I might not be able to control myself and get violent!” when he’s actually completely in control.
BUT I feel like I called his bluff yesterday.
Hi all,
Long time reader, rarely do I comment.
But regarding the discussion of abusive and maybe-abusive men in relationships, I wanted to share this. I read it the other day and it really opened my eyes to the ways I shut myself down, even though the man I am in a relationship is as far as possible from abusive. It was really validating to know that I am not alone in wanting, in needing. So even if the relationship isn’t abusive, is it allowing you to be nurtured and satiated? You deserve it. If conversations about changing the relationship in order to make sure you are being nurtured within it aren’t productive, or even possible, than that gives you some answers already.
http://hazlitt.net/feature/hunger-makes-me
Well, I don’t want to ENTIRELY hijack this thread, so thank you, thank you, THANK YOU, everybody. I knew I could count on you guys to help me look things hard in the face and you didn’t disappoint.
I haven’t talked about Mr. LG’S good qualities in this space because they’re irrelevant to the matter of his abusive behaviors, but they are substantial. Chiefly, he is very smart, very emotionally intelligent. So I’m rooting for him and think he MAY be able to change out of pure psychological utility and his own ability to recognize how lonely these behaviors ultimately leave him feeling. But even if he does, it might be too little, too late for me to feel happy and free in this relationship. So I’m going to start taking steps to get more independence and distance. It’s going to have to be little ones, though. For now.
One of the first things I’ll be doing will be seeking support of friends. I can’t do anything without that, I know. It’s fraught because all of our friends are mutual friends and I’m afraid they’ll defend and excuse him, even though he’s not currently defending or excusing himself. You know how it can go. And meanwhile, he’s going to be fessing up to a male friend he feels close to (my idea), and to his other partners (his idea). We’ll see how that goes. I figure, if those three end up reaching out to me as a result of their conversation with him, I’ll know he did it right.
@LG.
That’s a really complicated situation – you have my sympathies. I’m glad to hear he has never physically hurt you. However, based on what you have written, he has been physically threatening you and is definitely gaslighting/manipulating you.
I second the suggestions to get the Fuck-Off Fund started and to look for a full-time job as soon as feasible. If you can afford it, talking with a counselor or a therapist would probably help you to get perspective on what the situation with you and the husband is.
I personally think you should leave him, but again, you know your own situation best and are in a better position to evaluate it.
Still, please consider doing the following:
1. Get your own bank account and don’t tell your man about it.
2. Find out under whose name your rented apartment/house is and how you can end it (and what your rights are if he ends it without telling you).
3. Change the passwords to every single one of your accounts. Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, emails, phone, the very computer itself. Change them. Even if you are 100% sure the guy doesn’t know them.
4. If your phone contract is not under your name, switch it to under your name. This way the guy can’t get a list of the numbers you have called and texted from your telecom company.
5. If you have your own computer, never let him borrow it nor leave it unlocked in his presence if you leave the room. If you have already done this, I suggest reformatting the computer.
6. Apply the above also to your smartphone, tablet etc. – any device that can connect to internet.
7. If you don’t have your own computer, do your damnest to get one. In the meantime, assume that he can see everything you do on his computer.
8. Have multiple backups of everything. Store electronic backups in cloud service accounts etc. which he can’t access and hide physical backups. Don’t tell him of their existence.
9. If you have a router at home and your man has its admin credentials, assume he is reading all unencrypted traffic going through it. Encrypt everything you can and use your phone’s internet connection (not wi-fi) as much as possible.
10. Make a list of trusted people who you can rely on in case he becomes violent or you’ll need to hide from him for some other reason. Memorize the phone numbers and addresses of at least some of these people. Assume that any people who you have met through your guy are primarily his friends and may not necessarily help you (or will reveal your location to him against your wishes).
11. Make a list of places where you can go if you need a place to stay on an extremely short notice (e.g. friends, relatives, local dv shelters, hospitals) and memorize how to walk to them from your home.
12. If you are married with a prenuptial agreement, re-read it to verify what you agreed on and to give you a clearer idea of what belongs to whom.
13. Check under whose name everything with high financial (car, tv etc.) or sentimental (pets etc.) value is.
14. If you own anything with such a high sentimental value that you absolutely cannot leave it behind, give it to a trusted friend for safekeeping until you have verified that your guy has actually changed permanently.
If your man notices you doing any of the above and complains, thinks you are overreacting/hysterical/paranoid/unreasonable or tries to stop you from doing it, leave him.
I’m serious: if your man can’t live without having access to your money, email account, computer, phone and physical possessions etc., that’s one hell of a big red flag.
If you end up leaving him, I second the suggestions of doing so quickly and decisively. The ideal situation is that he will notice that you are gone from the relationship only after you are actually physically gone. This will help minimizing the chance that you will get hurt.
So if you leave him, do all preparation for it in secret and preferably do the final moving out while he is at work.
Even if you are, say, 80% sure you won’t be leaving him, make a plan on what to do if you were leaving him. In case things get worse somewhere in the future, it will make the situation less daunting if you know you have a viable exit strategy.
Best of luck, LG. – I sincerely hope that you are right and I’m wrong about him.
And now my comment seems completely tone-deaf, thanks to it taking so long to write it that several people (including poor LG.) had time to comment before it was posted… obviously I should have remembered to refresh the page before hitting Submit Comment… sorry, LG. :´(
He has never engaged in any privacy violations like that, or done anything scummy with money, or damaged/stolen/hidden any of my stuff. If he were to *start* to do that as a way to regain the control he loses by ending other behaviors, well…can you understand if I say I’d rather *not* take those precautions and find out if he’s capable of any of that? There’s not much money or stuff for me to be worried about. I’d rather risk it for the sake of knowing.
@LG,
no one ever really knows what’s going on with a couple, except maybe themselves. I hope it all works out, whatever decision you end up making.
@LG.
I admit I’m not entirely sure how to interpret the latter part of your comment, but the first few sentences make it clear enough that my comment wasn’t found helpful. I’m sincerely sorry – had I seen your second-to-last comment, I would not have posted my own.
@PI
Glad to hear that your new place is treating you well!
Rootepetoot’s bezzie mate, one Milo Y., also has sisterhood’s happiness at heart. ‘Uninvent washing machines and the (contraceptive) pill, to make women happy again‘, muses the alt-right icon:
http://wonkette.com/606019/breitbarts-milo-knows-how-to-make-women-happy-and-it-is-by-uninventing-washing-machines
Roosh’s evolution from a sexual hedonist to a spiritual seeker makes sense to classically educated men. Read St. Augustine’s Confessions to see what I mean.
I’m always amazed that guys like this think feminine subservience always works out in their favor. Like, there’s -never- going to be a hierarchy of subservience, where she has to be subservient to someone else who outranks you, like her father or religious leaders or directives of her God. There’s -never- going to be non-overlapping domains of lady-stuff VS dude-stuff, where your expectation of subservience will be both confusing and absolutely irrelevant. Her subservience will somehow -never- require you to provide for her as she pursues a non-public life, will -never- require you to take on more tasks should these tasks place her in moral or other risk, will -never- require you to reciprocate her subservience by doing something, anything, to justify her subservience to you. How can anyone not see the potential pitfalls here? Why isn’t any of this in the balance?
Verily – don’t worry about it at all. I knew talking to folks here would mean a lot of err-on-the-side-of-not-trusting-the-guy advice and that’s exactly what I signed on for. It is actually helpful to be able to read these and say, “Huh…well, THAT’S not an issue I’m worried about.”