Yesterday, as Gawker staffers drowned their sorrows in whatever booze they could get their hands on at a bare-bones farewell party of sorts for the once-mighty, now bankrupt internet media empire, a new site bearing the Gawker brand introduced itself to the world: The Cuck, a “new pop-up bespoke men’s interest site, for men.”
If the timing and the title weren’t enough to clue readers in to the fact that The Cuck was a joke, a quick glance at the official announcement should have convinced all but the dullest readers of this fact:
Sex, dating, clothes, relationships, politics, sex, women—men have opinions about all of these things. And yet, there’s nowhere on the internet where you can go to read them. That changes today. …
The Cuck is a site dedicated to exploring modern masculinity in all its myriad forms, and over the next few days or until it is apparent that we have not been able to attract a really loaded sponsor (P&G please call us back), you’ll hear from some of the most thoughtful men—and non-men—working in media (Gawker Media, specifically) today.
The first story to go up on the new site? A comically overwrought essay on The Politics of Sitting Down To Pee.
Basically, The Cuck is a dig at New York magazine’s short-lived Beta Male site, which launched and folded earlier this year, with a nod at the idiots on the far right who’ve turned “cuck” into this year’s most embarrassing insult. (Embarrassing, that is, to those who use the insult, not those on the receiving end, who couldn’t care less.)
So, everyone got the joke immediately, right? Well, no.
On Twitter, an assortment of the sort of idiots who think “cuck” is a killer insult proudly announced their gullibility to the world; some of them even managed to work in gratuitous plugs for Donald Trump.
https://twitter.com/jackmb_/status/763715445862109184
https://twitter.com/OboroSensei/status/763600655055486976
https://twitter.com/MrJohnQZombie/status/763598544951533568
https://twitter.com/NickJFuentes/status/763538499492425729
https://twitter.com/FuturistGirl/status/763588287999184896
https://twitter.com/sintheticality/status/763535034015821824
https://twitter.com/JdogFromDaATown/status/763518227208998912
THIS IS AN ARTICLE FROM A SITE CALLED "THE CUCK" OWNED BY GAWKER. I REPEAT: THIS IS NOT A PARODY OR SATIRE. pic.twitter.com/d36uNNc7Gj
— maritan (@maritanlive) August 10, 2016
Hahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhah
Hahahah
Owning it doesn't give you power
Demographics is destiny, CUCK!#MAGA https://t.co/ezKSolIQ8n
— Realist, MBA (@AltJewish) August 10, 2016
https://twitter.com/NAL6776/status/763510933599686657
GAWKER HAS A NEW BRAND
THEY LITERALLY NAMED THEMSELVES "THE CUCK"
THIS IS NOT A DRILL
— Jayngfet (@Jayngfet) August 11, 2016
https://twitter.com/HesGotAFro/status/763561856636039168
For god sake Gawker, you're not gonna take back cuck, people won't be using cuck as a term of endearment any time soon.
— Patch (@SoulPatchanBuff) August 11, 2016
https://twitter.com/billnhillsbong/status/763545477409280000
https://twitter.com/MaximumOverhonk/status/763503086367232000
https://twitter.com/KaiserTrigger/status/763500101935312896
https://twitter.com/dreamedofdust/status/763495529854697472
This exists because mankind deserves only pain and death. God has abandoned us all and we deserve it. https://t.co/Wszdxi1hQ4
— takashi I hate everything yamamoto (@drunkenalpaca) August 10, 2016
https://twitter.com/Fb1Marissa/status/763492145500155905
Gaslighting a media outlet into thinking that Cuck could *ever* be something other than a perjorative… pic.twitter.com/gfOb9Lvl1s
— Boyd Cooper (@Crud_Bungler) August 11, 2016
Peak CUCK.https://t.co/SNXFmXvuPr@RadixJournal @RichardBSpencer @ReactionaryTree @WestDeclines @wesearchr @Ricky_Vaughn99 #MAGA
— Realist, MBA (@AltJewish) August 11, 2016
https://twitter.com/Sourstin/status/763627287765848065
The Cuck site isn’t all that funny, honestly. The real humor comes from all the idiots who don’t get the joke.
Having fun searching "Gawker" & seeing all the altright dingalings circling so close to realizing The Cuck is a joke pic.twitter.com/rsMMxPpfaZ
— Coconut Tree Faller Outer Ofer (@Cam_Oflage) August 10, 2016
So close, yet so far away.
The article itself is kinda transphobic, but their reactions are golden.
Jesus fucking Cuck. How stupid are these people.
These are the same people who think cuck is the ultimate insult aren’t they?
A-HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!’
etc.
Nothing like a parting shot as Gawker shuts down. Deservedly, I must say.
http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/654/097/bd3.jpg
Oh, that “Beta Male” farewell piece is embarrassingly un-self-aware.
At the very least their legendary paranoia should have given them pause. The narrative is classic parody :
“The Cuck is a site dedicated to exploring modern masculinity in all its myriad forms, and over the next few days or until it is apparent that we have not been able to attract a really loaded sponsor (P&G please call us back),”
This is golden. Thanks for the laugh, guise.
Oh dears. They’re teetering on the brink of an epiphany, but they keep toppling down the wrong side. Anyone wanna give them a good shove?
PS: Melania’s (probably) illegal immigration saga just got twistier. Apparently, her green card was achieved by marriage…and not to Der Drumpf. And no word as to when/if she divorced Hubby of Convenience #1, either. If she didn’t, that makes her a bigamist…and it makes Drumpf a…say it with me, folks…
@BHV : Paranoia get in the way of proper doubt. A paranoid individual is, usually, someone you can sell almost anything to.
And these are the people who consider themselves the most rational and superior people on the the planet.
I AM RATIONAL!!!!!
For people who are quick to claim “it’s just satire” when called out on their crap, they’re really bad at recognizing actual satire.
Will you be reading it with your girlfriends son?
Oh how gloriously self-unaware they are.
LOL
https://twitter.com/ProudBoyMag/status/763753418208968704
LOL
Oh the poor dears 🙁
They can’t decide whether it’s white knights or womz who started the cuck site. That’s funny to me
Oh my gosh. Mega respect to Gawker. That’s glorious. Oh my gosh.
hee! Well caught. Then again, when they say “it’s satire!” when they’re called out for being assholes, it’s just a defensive measure. So I don’t think they know what satire actually *is*.
… i’m … rational… ?
but seriously: how can they not realize this is a joke? they point out all the absurd things about it but don’t realize it’s a joke?
? so… rational…
I think the troll doofus crowd thinks that “satire” is some kind of fancy way of saying, “Just a joke!”
Horace and Juvenal defend us from trolls with such pretensions.
@the picture of Drumpf in Bina’s link
http://i.imgur.com/noa1PLQ.jpg
Are those tan lines from a sleep mask? Huh. I thought he used fake tanner.
@SFHC
He probably does use fake tanner. With a sleep mask on.
I mean, would you put it past him ?
Actually he hires someone to come into his room every night while he’s sleeping and spraypaint his face orange, then cover it up with a little brown to try and make it look like a tan. Obviously it doesn’t work, but Trump feels like it does so as far as the GOP is concerned it does.
@JSun
That’s even stupider. Yet I’m still not putting it past him.
Although my theory is that it’s some Trump-brand fake tan from one of his companies that went bankrupt some 30 years ago and he still has the decades-old stuff, and uses it because it’s got his name on it, even though it’s rotted through by now.
That, or he just thinks it looks great, and won’t listen to anyone who doesn’t know better than to dare tell him he’s wrong about something.
Or both. Or even your theory, both of mine, and also Hillarydidit.