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Return of Kings: Female Olympic champs should get fake gold medals because women suck

All gold everything
All gold everything

Woman-hating internet garbage fire Return of Kings is celebrating the start of the Olympics by lamenting the fact that most of the athletes the US is sending to the games are women.

As regular RoK contributor John Carver figures it, using his very own system of mathematics,

this is actually a sad state of affairs. It means that the U.S. Olympic team will have less than a 50% chance of seeing a real champion, rather than a 2nd rate gold medalist from the weaker sex … .

According to Carver, women just plain suck at sports compared to men, but as I didn’t bother to read that portion of his post I can’t tell you why. Possibly cooties.

In any case, Carver feels that since women athletes will never be as good as men, any gold medals they win don’t really count. And so they shouldn’t be made of real gold.

Whenever female athletes are awarded a “gold medal” at the Olympics, it should just be a giant knockoff of that cheap Hanukkah gelt (chocolate gold coins) that Jewish children get for the holiday season. After the brief surge of excitement that they have won “gold” (and attention whore themselves with it on Instagram), they can peel off the tin foil and feast on the chocolatey goodness inside until it’s all gone. “You go girl!” ?

You can tell it’s funny because of the smiley and the always-fresh use of the phrase “you go girl!”

After all, since women are ultimately just big children, they merely deserve to have big children’s candy. The REAL gold medals should be allocated to the real champions of a sporting discipline’s top tier, which will always be men.

Comedy GOLD!

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BVH
BVH
8 years ago

@kupo

Read Tim’s wall of text on page 1 for context. This is satire.

Ah. Poe strikes again.

Then again, if a wall of text was the only salvation, I was doomed. 😉

@Leda Atomica

Also I have a huge issue with fb supporting hategroups by letting them fester on their platform.

I used to run with a group who trolled hate groups on FB. Nothing nasty, just cheap lulz, posting pics of happy “mixed race”(<never a fan of the term) couples, racist memes vandalized with rainbow flags, that sort of thing. It was astonishing what both sides could get away with.

Part of the reason we trolled them was because Failbook wouldn't get rid of them. Yeh, we tried massive flagging FIRST….

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
8 years ago

@BVH

“mixed race”(<never a fan of the term)

Out of curiosity, is it the ‘race’ bit or the whole thing you object to? Regardless, what term would you prefer? It does sound pretty suspect (almost like a Stormfront shibboleth), so I was just wondering if you had something better 🙂

Smithshadow
Smithshadow
8 years ago

Apologies to anyone I may have misled by the ‘correction’ to Tim’s MGTOW wall of text on page 1. It was meant as satire.

The few minutes spent reading Tim’s, ahem, enlightening views, reaffirmed the belief that MGTOW’s should never be prevented from seeking an existence far, far away from the people they despise.

EJ (The Other One) - on Holiday

@Smithshadow:
I thought it was really funny.

PeeVee the Sarcastic
PeeVee the Sarcastic
8 years ago

If whining about women were an Olympic event, Mr. Carver would definitely have taken the Gold.

Saphira
Saphira
8 years ago

According to Carver, women just plain suck at sports compared to men

Somebody’s probably a little butthurt that there are women out there so good at sports he’d lose to them. You know, beaten by a girl and all that.

BVH
BVH
8 years ago

@Axecalibur

Out of curiosity, is it the ‘race’ bit or the whole thing you object to? Regardless, what term would you prefer? It does sound pretty suspect (almost like a Stormfront shibboleth), so I was just wondering if you had something better

Alas, no, which is why I use it. I’m sure someone would have come up with something better if, in this time, place and language, there was something both more accurate and elegant.

My objections stem from a lifetime of experiencing appearance/color conflated with identity and ethnicity. I’m an American Euromutt, like many; Gran German, Grandfather English. But I never knew my father who we still don’t know exactly what he was. Hispanic or Middle Eastern something, is the best guess. My ethnic identity is basically of European decent.The fact is my skin tone is light tan, as helpful as it is as sunscreen, is just that, a skin tone.

But people really want it to be MORE. It can get positively maddening. The pale faced racists or bigots, well those are the easiest to sort out. I’m of the same cultural group, I just look odd. They expect me to be afraid of them. LOL. Yeh, that doesn’t end too well. Bit embarrassing for them, really. Of the assholes, the worst can be African-americans who are offended or put out I don’t identify as a “person of color”. These are a tiny group of black people, but boy can they be aggressive…until the realize I really will call the police and the car shows up… Then it’s all the usual “just kidding, the dog ate my homework” type of excuses trouble makers come up with.

Only yankee people of color pull this shit. Actual Africans, or Mexicans, or whomever, are smart enough to catch all the verbal and nonverbal cues. I’ve had two migrant men actually dismiss me after first trying to flirt: “Americana.” It was funny.

This is much rarer than it used to be.

So, yeh, it’s just the color based verbiage which, IMHO, enables all the ignorant assumptions about what phenotype(skin tone) means. I will use “Black” or “White” for convenience, especially if the conversation is explicitly about racist attacks, etc. But I try to avoid it. Just tell an English person and an Irish person they’re the same. Go on. I’ll wait over here and eat popcorn. 🙂

@Smithshadow

No apology necessary. It’s the Internet, Poe’s happen. Thing is, now I dimly remember that post. But I thought it had been in a different thread. Meh.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
8 years ago

@BVH

Alas, no, which is why I use it

Unfortunate. I don’t mind ‘mixed’ alone. Adding words to it sounds pretty dogwhistley. I’m sure someone will figure out the terminology eventually 🙂

My ethnic identity is basically of European decent.The fact is my skin tone is light tan, as helpful as it is as sunscreen, is just that, a skin tone

There are so many different kinds of ethnicity, it always confuses me when people decide that ‘race’ is the only important one. Culture, language, nationality, etc. That’s changing, but it’s slow

Of the assholes, the worst can be African-americans who are offended or put out I don’t identify as a “person of color”

Ah. Apparently, you’re too ‘high yella’ to be one of us. Or some such nonsense. Sorry about that. Certain ‘woke’ types can be kinda shit 🙁

I will use “Black” or “White” for convenience, especially if the conversation is explicitly about racist attacks, etc. But I try to avoid it

Agreed. Personally (not speaking for anyone else, let alone all black people), my ‘race’ only matters in so far as people insist it does. It matters in an imperfect, discriminatory world, but it’d be nice to put Bajan, Trini, or even just American on forms, instead of black

Just tell an English person and an Irish person they’re the same. Go on. I’ll wait over here and eat popcorn

Fuck it, try telling someone form Dublin and someone from Belfast they’re the same

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
8 years ago

I find mixed race to be more useless than dangerous. There isn’t races in the human specie to begin with, and ethnicity is much more a cultural construct than something else. In theory, the term is supposed to designate cross-culture people, but in practice it serve mostly as a slur, and sometime as a way for people to detach from their parent cultures.

Fun fact : my father is the caricature of a german, but with the skin tone of a tunisian. All his ancestors are from northern France for as long as they are records of them. Me, for my part, have a very white skin that tan very fast to something a bit darker than most italians and spanish.

BVH
BVH
8 years ago

@Axecalibur

Ah. Apparently, you’re too ‘high yella’ to be one of us. Or some such nonsense. Sorry about that. Certain ‘woke’ types can be kinda shit

If one thinks a mo, it’s particularly daft, as a person of European Descent who has darker skin than most Europeans, gets ZERO, count it, ZERO, extra privileges. By their “logic” , if I wanted to be welcome, accepted, etc, etc, I’d be leaping at the chance to claim to be the POC du jour.

OTOH I might have missed out as a career as a spy. I can pass for anything, except Norwegian and Asian, with the right clothes…

Agreed. Personally (not speaking for anyone else, let alone all black people), my ‘race’ only matters in so far as people insist it does. It matters in an imperfect, discriminatory world, but it’d be nice to put Bajan, Trini, or even just American on forms, instead of black

“Other” is my standby. I wish they’d just focus on hair and eye color, height— things the law reasonably might need to identify you if you go bad, and leave the rest out.

Fuck it, try telling someone form Dublin and someone from Belfast they’re the same

I’m glad I wasn’t drinking anything when I read that. “Thank God I wore my corset…” 😀

@Ohlmann

I find mixed race to be more useless than dangerous. There isn’t races in the human specie to begin with, and ethnicity is much more a cultural construct than something else.

Basically everything you said. We’re all “mixed”. What we have are breeds, not races, but no one is going to call humans breeds.

Enviro 400
Enviro 400
8 years ago

The term “breed” is associated with the domestication of animals and the selective breeding of specific traits which then become characteristic of the said breed. As far as I know this process has not occurred in humans, although attempted by the likes of Hitler and the proponents of various eugenics programs.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
8 years ago

@BVH

What we have are breeds

Not quite. The term is ‘clines’. The differences is human population genetics is called clinal variation. Haplogroups and SNPs and other stuff I don’t really understand. It’s even less drastic than ‘breed’ tho

BVH
BVH
8 years ago

@Enviro 400

The term “breed” is associated with the domestication of animals and the selective breeding of specific traits which then become characteristic of the said breed.

Characteristic, but not immutable. All domestic cats are, scientifically the same. All domestic dogs descend from wild dogs or wolves, and can interbreed. The only reason breeds continue is because humans breed them, that is deliberately select for certain traits. (scientific experts are welcome to weigh in) I do not see how this is any different than humans self selecting their own traits by the default of living near each other for thousands of years.

As far as I know this process has not occurred in humans,

That is exactly why we have “races”, that is humans with a certain phenotype: because their ancestors didn’t travel further than five or so miles from their place of birth for thousands of years.

although attempted by the likes of Hitler and the proponents of various eugenics programs.

Leaving aside that Hilter , et al were morons when it came to real science, my understanding is they start out with the idea they were already superior, then set about trying to make Ubermenchen. This is actually plausible, if you focus on breeding for real superior traits, which hilariously does not include a predisposition to melanoma (snark). But it was all science by ideology which doesn’t work.

I’m reminded of a scene in Schindler’s List, where the university educated architect tells them the foundation needs to be redone. She explains this, pleading she’s just doing her job. For her efforts, she’s shot. Then the Nazis order the foundation to be redone. That’s how science is done under fascism. Ideology comes first.

So, I’m not sure what you were trying to say. “Races” are real? They aren’t. All humans can interbreed.

BVH
BVH
8 years ago

@Axecalibur

You replied while I was typing, heh.

Not quite. The term is ‘clines’. The differences is human population genetics is called clinal variation. Haplogroups and SNPs and other stuff I don’t really understand. It’s even less drastic than ‘breed’ tho

Thank you. That is very interesting. I will research more. 😉

Handsome "These Pretzels Suck" Jack (formerly Pandapool)

What we have are breeds

http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/kdew.gif

I’ve never heard humans having “breeds” before. It’s kinda gross. I mean, I don’t know why you’re here, but I definitely didn’t need to see the word “breed” applied to people.

BVH
BVH
8 years ago

@Handsome etc

I’ve never heard humans having “breeds” before. It’s kinda gross.

Yeh, I suppose that’s why I wrote : “What we have are breeds, not races, but no one is going to call humans breeds.”

I mean, I don’t know why you’re here,

When David covers Nazis and extreme right, that usually brings me out. Plus the whole horror about the imminent possibility of a fascist getting elected and the Berniebros afoot. But nice to see we’re back in high school. -_-

but I definitely didn’t need to see the word “breed” applied to people.

Yeh, that’s why: “no one is going to call humans breeds“. I certainly am not in the habit. But before Axe clarified the bit about clines, it did seem to be much more accurate, if distasteful, than the discredited “race”.

Sorry, if the convo drifted but I’m sure that happened before I showed up.

Bye.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
8 years ago

@BVH
Don’t fuckin get snippy with Jack, cos you used the wrong word. But they’re the high schooler apparently. C’mon now…

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
8 years ago

@BVH

Dude, it was a tiny misunderstanding (on your part). Chill.

EDIT: Ninja’d by Axe!

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
8 years ago

Technically, humans have tried breeding in the past. It just didn’t work very well, and gave us the Hasburgs, whose chins were the least of their genetic misfortunes.

Zatar
8 years ago

Aunt Podger:
“Zatar, I think Smithshadow is just re-gendering the Red Pill movement for irony… a “Pink Pill” movement, if you will. Or were you joking about misunderstanding?”

I was actually replying to Tim who Smithshadow was parodying with that post. Sorry for the confusion.

ETA Blockquote is acting weird so I’m using Traditional quotes.

(((VioletBeauregarde))): Prominent Misanderer of the Gynocracy
(((VioletBeauregarde))): Prominent Misanderer of the Gynocracy
8 years ago

it’d be nice to put Bajan, Trini, or even just American on forms, instead of black

If I could and were in a smart-ass mood, I’d write Vampire under “Race” on forms.

If you think about it, that does kind of make sense with my intolerance for onions (which are related to garlic), my tendency to favor the night hours and the fact that I sunburn ridiculously easily (sometimes even with my sunblock).

I’m also (as BVH put it) an American Euromutt. I have a lot of Irish in me which explains my very fair skin and reddish hair

Fabe
Fabe
8 years ago

Sort of one topic but apparently Wil Weaton made some twitter comment about a Olympic athlete that has conservatives in a uproar. any one know any thing about this? I would have clicked the link on facebook but I didn’t want to give the site any hits

Nequam
Nequam
8 years ago

@Rabid: and when it comes to show dogs, they make the Hapsburgs look like the picture of genetic health.

http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/pedigree-dogs-exposed/

(Warning: really depressing.)

mrex
mrex
8 years ago

@BVH “So, I’m not sure what you were trying to say. “Races” are real? They aren’t. All humans can interbreed.

That’s not what race means; you’re thinking of “species”. In short, animals of different species generally don’t reproduce, or if they do, they generally don’t produce fertile young. Race is a classification level below even subspecies, so interbreeding is never a problem.

“In biological taxonomy, race (Latin: prōles, stirps[1]) is an informal rank in the taxonomic hierarchy, below the level of subspecies; the term is recognized by some, but is no longer governed by any of the formal codes of biological nomenclature. It has been used as a higher rank than strain, with several strains making up one race.[2][3] Various definitions exist. Races may be genetically distinct phenotypic populations of interbreeding individuals within the same species,[4] or they may be defined in other ways, e.g. geographically, or physiologically.[5] Genetic isolation between races is not complete, but genetic differences may have accumulated that are not (yet) sufficient to separate species.[6]”-Wikipedia

“Breed”, as mentioned by Envirno is a certain phenotype that came about from selective breeding by humans. As such, yeah that really doesn’t describe any human group, and is why we never call humans “breeds”, and why it is rather creepy to do so. :p

And yes, the sociological use of “race” to group and discriminate among humans is complete bullshit because there are more differences within races than between races. For example;

“Just tell an English person and an Irish person they’re the same. Go on. I’ll wait over here and eat popcorn”

LOL, but they’re not the same. Ireland and Britain have a different history, different migration patterns, different patterns of genetic distribution. Same goes for Wales and Northern Scotland.
Here, look at the bottom of the page for maps, or go ahead and read the super fun technical explanation.

But really, what does it matter if the Anglo-Saxon linage may or may not be more frequent in Britain than in Ireland? It means nothing, it’s all a big wash anyway. And it meant nothing, unless you were a Irish person living a hundred or so years ago. Say, in Boston? The Irish weren’t WASPs, so not really really White white, y’know?

And so goes all of humanity. The big joke on Hitler was that there never was such a thing as racial purity. Scandinavians? They can look phenotypically White, but genotypically be hella Asian. The Nazis were literally shocked when they invaded East Europe and found “white” children descended from Slavs. (Yes, apparently Slavs aren’t White. Who knew?). Phenotypes can skip generations and then pop up seemingly at random. Two dark-eyed African Americans, after generations of dark-eyed African Americans, can produce some of the most gorgeous blue eyes in their children. Phenotypes mean nothing.

This isn’t even getting into the mess of people confusing race with ethnicity. Some USians, for example, don’t seem to realize that just like in the US, there are French, English, Japanese, Latin Americans, and etc, from all races. JFC.

kupo
kupo
8 years ago

I was just watching Voyager and a holodeck character made a comment to Janeway that he could recognize a woman of good breeding or something of that nature, so I guess sometimes breeding is used to describe humans. It does sound rather dehumanizing in the context of discussion around race, and rather haughty when used to describe royal blood or old money families. I’d just as soon not use it.