Woman-hating internet garbage fire Return of Kings is celebrating the start of the Olympics by lamenting the fact that most of the athletes the US is sending to the games are women.
As regular RoK contributor John Carver figures it, using his very own system of mathematics,
this is actually a sad state of affairs. It means that the U.S. Olympic team will have less than a 50% chance of seeing a real champion, rather than a 2nd rate gold medalist from the weaker sex … .
According to Carver, women just plain suck at sports compared to men, but as I didn’t bother to read that portion of his post I can’t tell you why. Possibly cooties.
In any case, Carver feels that since women athletes will never be as good as men, any gold medals they win don’t really count. And so they shouldn’t be made of real gold.
Whenever female athletes are awarded a “gold medal” at the Olympics, it should just be a giant knockoff of that cheap Hanukkah gelt (chocolate gold coins) that Jewish children get for the holiday season. After the brief surge of excitement that they have won “gold” (and attention whore themselves with it on Instagram), they can peel off the tin foil and feast on the chocolatey goodness inside until it’s all gone. “You go girl!” ?
You can tell it’s funny because of the smiley and the always-fresh use of the phrase “you go girl!”
After all, since women are ultimately just big children, they merely deserve to have big children’s candy. The REAL gold medals should be allocated to the real champions of a sporting discipline’s top tier, which will always be men.
Comedy GOLD!
@takshak
Excuse me 1 moment while I run some warm water. It seems I’ve cut myself on all that edge. May need to get a shot…
😛
@Leda – What that meme really signifies is that the “female” needs to log into FB more than once a year, and the “male” needs to stop checking every 5 seconds to see if that HB7 responded to his friend request.
@Virgin Mary – Yep, it’s amazing that in this day and age the myth still persists that horseback riding can damage women internally, but somehow mysteriously not men. (Obviously, an exception should be made for pregnant women, since it can cause placental abruption.)
I remember as a teenager hearing some right-wing blowhard asserting that women would never be good at golf because their boobs get in the way of swinging a golf club, and thinking “well in that case, men shouldn’t run”.
These people make it embarrassing to be a man. Look at all these women doing amazing things (including my sister’s friend who has just this minute missed out on a medal for Scotland in the swimming by 0.1 seconds), clearly we’re far superior sitting at home being angry on the Internet. The useless bastards.
@Axecalibur I sadly do recall Justin Beiber in CSI. I did appreciate that on his second and final appearance in the show he got shot to death by about a million cops.
You’re right about Criminal Minds, it is very heavy on the male serial killer obsessed with feeeeemales and wanting to enact strange fantasies with them. I still like it because they always make a point, via Reed having a schizophrenic mother than mental illness doesn’t = psychopathy. When they have genuinely mentally ill “unsubs” they are usually the more sympathetic ones.
@David
You shouldn’t be embarrassing to be a man because of these fuck nozzles any more than they should be proud to be men just because some exceptional people are men. That’s using their exactly logic. This guys try to make themselves feel better that they are miserable unfulfilled failures by looking at people who are also men who have achieved something and saying that they are just as good as them because they aew also men. It’s totally illogical.
Hah, thank you for your reassurance 🙂 I try to be aware of the privileges that I have just from luck of birth in a prejudiced world (I’m white, male, straight… I have all the advantages except for being a colossal furry) – it’s up to us to use that privilege for good, instead of feeling attacked and guilty about things by association.
I used to be in Tae Kwon Doe (I’m blue belt I’m hoping to get my black belt) dance and gymnastics, tried out for soft ball and I played basketball. I stopped because of my physical and mental health.
I have tremdous love for women and girls who are in martial arts, sports, etc it’s harder for women and girls to even keep up with guys so love, hugs and kisses to all the gals out there.
Did somebody say furry?
https://youtu.be/WWzYIEpPk_0
(Please let that embed, or everyone will think I’m a creep. D: )
Edited to add: Okay, I don’t know how to embed videos. It’s just the song Larger Than Life as lip synced by people in fur suits. I tried, man. I triiiied.
@David: I sort of legitimately like that video. The white arctic fox lead singer is right up my alley. But I want to make a leomon cosplay once I finish a few soft sculptures I’ve been commissioned for, so…I’m sort of a furry, too. 🙂
Carver is too damn stupid to realize the Olympic medal itself is just a symbol. If a medal is all the contestants wanted they could damn well go and buy one at any trophy shop.
People compete in events and trials where there are no prizes at all. All you get is the sense of personal accomplishment that comes from giving it your all. It’s the act of competing against your peers and knowing you did it that counts. Not a hunk of metal and a ribbon. Of course, I doubt he would understand that either.
@Hesster
Yeah after all, “working towards a goal that you like, with many sacrifices on certain things, a drive that keeps you on the path that you desire to achieve the best you can do.” That’s the main drive in numerous tales, both real and fictional. That’s the reason why people on the Olympics hug and smile after the match and events. They can, whether or not they of that year are the best in their field, can feel happiness that their efforts were not in vain and they everything they could to reach a goal of their desire.
Carver to me sounds like he would hate literature that involves struggle and passion, and instead would prefer chinese/japanese web novels. Unlike , the web novels has everything he wants, a strict classist power system, everyone is a scumbag except you and all the riches, money, fame, power, and more. With the ability to charm the pants off any girl of any fetish with the thin veneer of pretense as everyone around you is an idiot. Also slavery and rape, because of course in those disgusting texts there always is. A complete lack of struggle while everything around you praises you and everyone against you is Hitler Googolplex. I think he would enjoy that much more, if he can get past the idea that a person who isn’t white is capable of thinking as he does.
@Tim
http://i.memecaptain.com/gend_images/B8iVPQ.jpg
RE: The FBI badge scene
It is indeed from Criminal Minds, and it’s pretty glorious:
*crosses fingers and prays that this embeds*
Ah, Criminal Minds. I love that scene. 🙂
*luffs on Garcia, JJ, and Prentiss*
These monkeynuggets misuse words ALL THE DAMN TIME and it’s just so funnysad.
Protip for the troll: “Usury” doesn’t mean “use made of.”
You’re welcome.
Kat, you’re welcome!
(For reals.)
It’s funny (not really) that someone who hasn’t accomplished an athletic feat like winning an Olympic medal and likely never will is belittling those who have actually attempted such and even succeeded in it.
When I was around 6, the kids playing footb – I mean soccer, the kids playing soccer never wanted girls in their teams because, well, girls.
WELP.
@ Tim
The Secret to a Happy Life for Women
NEVER engage in a legally, financially, psychologically, emotionally or spiritually binding committed relationship with a man. Be ready to leave him with no regrets and no strings at all times. Ignore this carefully hidden secret and you will likely end up suffering for that mistake in ways you never imagined possible.
That’s it. It really is that simple – yet so hard for men to comprehend. Just don’t give a man or misogynist power over your life. Most of women’s life struggles occur because this one, carefully guarded and hidden secret is meant to remain a carefully guarded and hidden secret. Movies, books, TV shows, RomComs, etc., all carefully designed to hide this female life-saving secret.
That’s really all there is to it – yet most women will still learn the hard way – and men will continue to profit from the destruction of women. Why? Because men don’t love women. Men love that the system is designed to forcefully transfer your wealth to themselves – so they can go fuck the pool girl/boy/anyone. They’re in it to suck you dry (no pun). In fact, the above secret will seem counter-intuitive to most women. Why? Because they’ve been brainwashed from birth to act against their own best interests and to primarily sacrifice themselves for the best interests of men – BY THEIR OWN FATHERS. This anti-female brainwashing is extremely effective and starts almost immediately from the moment of a girl’s birth.
Most women already know that what I just wrote is prohibited thinking and ridiculed by men and other androcrats. You could even lose your job if the wrong person discovers that you think anti-androcracy and with such self-regard. My speech isn’t permitted in ‘civilized society’. Why? Because society thrives off the disposability of women. A person like me represents an end to that usury of women. How would men and misogynists survive? Can’t have that. DESTROY THE ANTI-PATRIACHY BLASPHEMER!
What I just wrote is considered highly prohibited speech and/or thoughts by the patriarchy and androcrats. For the sake of your own livelihood, never repeat what I just wrote in the open or in a manner that leaves you identifiable due to the attempts at retribution, social and legal condemnation (false accusations) and endless shaming, doxing, rape threats and the normal name calling sure to follow your unmasking.
WGTOW: Women who’ve discovered the above truth and have wisely acted in their own best interests.
ANTI-WGTOW: Those that hope to keep women endlessly naive and hopelessly trapped within the androcracy’s and mysognists anti-female meat grinder.
Take the Blue Pill – or suffer the Red Pill. It’s your call.
Fixed it for you! No thanks necessary.
@varalys
Ouch! If there’s gonna be so much edge hanging around, I should probably put on some gloves 😛 (and no, this joke never stops being funny)
@Timmark
Aww, he pretends to care about us. That’s sweet…
Blah, blah, blah – these are all guys who (in the main) have something really missing in their lives or at least feel that they do. Machismo culture over-emphasises athletic achievement, so it must be galling when a woman excels or even just gets her ass off the sofa. Better diminish her achievement quick.
I’ve had guys not want to date me because of me playing rugby. Thanks for self-filtering dudes! There is a lot of hostility to women playing rugby, occasionally by old washed up ruggers, but mainly by guys who if they played only played at school. Can’t stand the thought of a woman putting herself onto the field when he’s shied away – better use some kind of vile misogynistic language quick. (My fave is ‘gash rugby’ which they mean as a slur, but I think it’s kinda fitting.)
Rugby is a stupid sport. There i said it. It’s kinda ***** putting yourself in that much danger and through that much pain. But it’s an awesome sport, and it turns out I had a knack for that sort of thing although I was never that good. That doesn’t make me better or even tougher in different circumstances. It just means I can take a hit and I like that particular kind of fun and it doesn’t hurt that I can down a pint in medium quick time. Not playing rugby might imply good sense rather than lack of manliness, but these guys can’t see past their own hate or sense of inadequacy and would rather attack women online.
I totally skipped that wall o’text but so pleased to see I am not losing my marbles and that scene was from Criminal Minds. I honestly have the biggest crush on AJ Cook who plays JJ. And I like the show for it’s parity between men and women members, apart from the Season Of Which We Shall Not Speak Of when TPTB fired the two actresses who play AJ and Prentiss to save money and the internet got so outraged they were hasily bought back next season, and all was well again.
Don’t watch Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders. Me and my mum hate-watch it because it’s xeneophobic and insulting trash and we enjoy snarking on it now our main snark target CSI: Cyber is no more.
My mother was hailed as the fastest woman in Ireland for a couple of years in the 80s. She was a long distance and marathon runner, and still has a box full of gold medals from back in the day (she sadly never made it to the olympics).
Even today in her 60s, I’m pretty sure she could outrun me. Somehow this is not a problem.
@smithshadow
Whoa! You make some really good, well-considered points.
Of course unlike the MRM, most feminists don’t engage in black-and-white, all-or-nothing, winner-loser thinking. So the “solution” presented here doesn’t interest us.
We prefer to, as the African American community says, “make a way out of no way.” Luckily, it’s very, very possible to do this.
I shudder to imagine what this shitstain thinks of the Paralympics.
Lady Mondegreen:
He also misspelled “an”, so… yeah. He don’t language real good.