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Memeday: Men love idealistically (in their pants)

Adapted from a meme by Ian Ironwood
Adapted from a terrible meme by Ian Ironwood

We’ve met “Ian Ironwood” before, the prolific red pill mememaker with a fondness for retro images and retrograde sexual politics.

Today, I’ve assemble what you might call a little meme essay made up of images he’s posted. Prepare yourself in advance for a BIG IRONIC SURPRISE TWIST ENDING!

Oh dear, I’ve kind of spoiled the surprise. Oops.

I cropped out her cleavage here but you can imagine.
I cropped out about a foot of cleavage here

 

I would think the most interesting thing about her , at least medically speaking, would be her crushed internal organs
I guess that’s why she has an arrow pointing to it?

 

You met this gal, or at least her legs, earlier
We met this gal, or at least her legs, earlier

 

Yep, this one ACTUALLY starts with ACTUALLY
Yep, this one ACTUALLY starts with ACTUALLY

 

idealoptions
You have the option of a narrow tie, or the narrowest tie

 

Wait, what?
Wait, what?

Directed by M. Night Shyamalan!

I had no idea that “idealism” consisted of thinking of women as little more than vagina delivery systems. I guess that’s what the red pill teaches you, huh?

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Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
8 years ago

@Buttercup

Woot! Definitely won’t have time for a coffee? 🙂 Assuming you’ll be anywhere near Morris County.

msexceptiontotherule
8 years ago

@Bina

If a guy has a similar problem to the one from that song…Perhaps try and errhm…handle things before leaving the house/seeing a counselor/going to the doctor/anything but bother any women, especially near or total strangers in public.

Hah, I’ll have to tell the Mister no more conversations and more fixation on the wondrous magic of my vagina-having (not sure if more would be a healthy thing but I’m eager to assist him in man-ning to his full abilities!) Will Ironwood take responsibility if this damages the mister’s relationship with me, the vagina-haver? He should compose some sort of disclaimer about all this wonderful and valuable* advice otherwise, some enterprising person(s) might sue!

*/S/ is for sarcasm

numerobis
numerobis
8 years ago

Ellesar:

No gay men in his sad sorry world, clearly

That man loving idealistically is very obviously checking out the other dude, who seems sad that the idealist is taken. Because the idealist has decided to follow the ideal of 50s nuclear families, he’s going to stick with his wife and secretly have an affair with the sad dude. Making everyone miserable due to crappy ideals.

That or I’m overthinking it.

Em
Em
8 years ago

Lol … men love idealistically but they’re only interested in vaginas. The irony is too much.

ColeYote
ColeYote
8 years ago

Men are all shallow, sex-obsessed assholes, but remember, we’re the misandrists.

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
8 years ago

@kupo
http://66.media.tumblr.com/9aceb9c7bdf9e25de05ff1f6297dbe8d/tumblr_inline_o3bqboA4is1tu3lkg_1280.jpg

Going back to older generations’ lack of understanding about women is edgy, right.

Tessa
8 years ago

Picture of one man with three women: OPTIONS!
Picture of one woman with two men: OPPORTUNIST!

Kat
Kat
8 years ago

@runsinbackground

Since there’s no realistic way to go through your whole life without ever allowing someone who lives in your house and sleeps in your bed to see you in a moment of weakness, a man should be prepared for his wife to leave him by knowing that he “has options”, that he should easily be able to find a new woman with the same characteristics that attracted the old one, and should make sure that his wife is aware that she isn’t actually all that special to him so that she’ll be less likely to stray.

Makes total sense.

Also, the man with that theory is a very frightened person and is likely to lash out.

authorialAlchemy
authorialAlchemy
8 years ago

MRAs are just not there for gay and asexual men, are they? If they really cared about men, they would be.

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
8 years ago

@Kat
Weird, I thought that when you lived with your spouse you have a level of trust, that trust entailing that the parties involved would be honest, respectful to one another, and able to show weakness and help each other out.

I went about this all wrong. I should instead treat my hypothetical Mrs.Boggles like she’s the Terminator, and she’s out for blood.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
8 years ago

@Oogly

I should instead treat my hypothetical Mrs.Boggles like she’s the Terminator, and she’s out for blood

If you’re in mortal fear of it, then you shoulda put a ring on it! That’s what Beyonce was singing about, right?

msexceptiontotherule
8 years ago

@Axecalibur

I thought she was singing about another kind of ring…a NSFW kind…:P

*If women were raccoons it might work out ok, maybe not because raccoons like to take the shiny things off to their den with them.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
8 years ago

@msexception
Whenever someone mentions NSFW, I always imagine the job for which it very much is safe. Like somebody’s in a gray cubicle somewhere, actively looking up rings, for research purposes only of course, and just being bored. Then walking into their department head’s office and dropping of that quarterly report on the demographics of ring use or summat. Ho hum, 9 to 5, it’s a living. Heading home to the spouse, talking about their day over leftover lasagna:

‘Me and my team successfully bioengineered a new type of clean fuel producing algae! How about you?’
‘Lotsa genital accessory research, mostly… Had Panera Bread for lunch, so that was nice…’
?

Also, speaking of Bey:
http://static1.squarespace.com/static/5671bfff4bf11835678bdf9c/572797337da24f738c4cee67/57279733859fd0c265f43b4a/1462212409824/tumblr_o65bb2QSDS1rsxbklo1_r1_500.gif
Beyonce, baseball bat, symbolism, wink. Just sayin…

Kat
Kat
8 years ago

Mammotheers, I’m taking up a collection for sexbot research.

The sooner the glorious day arrives when every guy who wants a sexbot gets one, the sooner the MRAs will STFU and GTOW already.

I’ve given US$5. Any denomination, any currency will help. Won’t you contribute?

What’s that — it’s a scam? All these guys have hands — and they don’t cost a thing? These guys will never STFU? Never GTOW???????????????????

Okay, I’m taking back my five and spending it on a very large chocolate bar. With a chocolatey sugar rush, life always looks bearable — even when the MRM exists.

NickNameNick
NickNameNick
8 years ago

It’s funny how people think being “edgy” actually means anything these days when everyone tries being “edgy” in some wrong-headed, ignorant, or contrarian fashion. When advertising agencies are being “edgy” in order to sell products and services – anyone, like stand-up comedians or edgelords, come off less like rebels and more like a bunch of trend-following sheep incapable of originality.

Frank, from God Bless America, probably said it best:

I would defend their freedom of speech if I thought it was in jeopardy. I would defend their freedom of speech to tell uninspired, bigoted, blowjob, gay-bashing, racist and rape jokes all under the guise of being edgy, but that’s not the edge. That’s what sells. They couldn’t possibly pander any harder or be more commercially mainstream, because this is the “Oh no, you didn’t say that!” generation, where a shocking comment has more weight than the truth. No one has any shame anymore, and we’re supposed to celebrate it.

So did Daria Morgendorffer too:

https://youtu.be/vZjX65NYVGM

msexceptiontotherule
8 years ago

@Axecalibur

Since I do the majority of my work in my lovely home office area (a desk with computer, printer, and a crapton of files in 4 going on 5 file cabinets) I don’t even have to put pants on for work if I don’t want to – and not required to be in court or meet with client/other lawyers that day – technically as long as I don’t mix up browser windows with document form windows, *EVERYTHING* is safe at my work. 😛

I think it was the conversation I had with my friend who has several pants-half-parts jewelry accessories and just added another one earlier this evening that sent my mind down the genital accessory bling path. 😉 He’s a funny guy, known him since I was still in high school (he’s a couple years older) making him the friend I’ve known the 2nd longest, coming along tor 20 years soonish!

Oh yeah, I’d like to tell everyone….I HAVE RACCOONS! Not in the house, just in my gated community, but they’re extremely curious and one will get about 2 feet away and stare at me for a while when I’m outside on the patio at night. (Hopefully that doesn’t mean it’s rabid and just biding its time before it attacks me and I have to go to the hospital for some shots…:P) I’m probably the only person who doesn’t get all loud and scary yelling at them until they run away here, as long as they don’t go all teeth and claw I’d love for them to stay as long as they like – just no destroying things obviously – and no I’m not feeding them because they’re wild animals and as cute as my trash pandas are feeding wild animals would be bad.

jamesworkshop
jamesworkshop
8 years ago

“having open options”

Ian, stop riding the pussy carousel.

Kevin
Kevin
8 years ago

@ msexceptiontotherule
Your raccoons sound a bit like my neighbourhood’s foxes and badgers. (The badgers are shyer though.)

Argle Bargle (formerly Carr)
Argle Bargle (formerly Carr)
8 years ago

I’m sure if I said I love my fiance for him possessing the quality of penis these assholes would go on how it’s still opportunistic – I just want his penis, but I want his penis because it’s probably a big one! If it weren’t, I would leave him for someone else, because feeeemales.
But him loving for the quality of having a vagina is totally not the same, no double standard here.

@msexceptiontotherule

Aaaaaw, raccoooons! I love the little burglar looking critters :3

Lea
Lea
8 years ago

Ian Ironwood claims to be a married man.

I don’t believe it for a second.

Nor do I believe he has “options”.

We’re looking at Ian’s masturbatory fantasies.

Ew.

msexceptiontotherule
8 years ago

The raccoons keep multiplying! (I know they occasionally do this through the miracle of reproduction resulting in births, but that usually takes longer than a week from mating-gestation-baby raccoons exploding from the mama, right?) At first there was just one wandering around, then two more, and last night the total number was 6 unique individual raccoons chasing each other up trees and through the bushes. And 3 looked like older juveniles plus 3 full grown very ‘fluffy’ adults. As usual one decided to spend a bit of time hanging out just feet from me to watch what I was doing. I wanted to invite it inside but I’m trying very hard to respect that it’s a wild animal and therefore I cannot feed or attempt to make it my pet – the dog would have a fit anyway, but at least she’s had her rabies booster so it’s up to date. 😛

Catalpa
Catalpa
8 years ago

Personally I find it kind of neat that NSFW seems to be a word added to our language that describes a concept we did not previous have a word for. There’s no real synonym for the term, at least not one that covers all the connotations of it, I believe.

I dunno, etymology is neat.

Tragedy of the Commas
Tragedy of the Commas
8 years ago

“When men say they want “interesting women”…they’re really just talking about sex.”

Oh, fuck off with that sophomore in high school’s understanding of sexuality. (And, frankly, I knew high schoolers with a better understanding of sex and sexuality than the adult men behind these memes).

Interesting is not mutually exclusive to interest in sex. As Viscaria said, “interesting” is an ambiguous compliment. We all like people who interest us. It’s the why they’re interesting that matters. Even for casual hook ups, you’ll have a check list of things to care about (e.g. they can hold a conversation while at the bar and they practice safe sex). And these memes assume that women aren’t equally interested in getting laid.

More importantly, sex is not some Platonic Form that exists separate from reality as a perfectly objective, unchanging, essential thing to reach for. Sex varies wildly in quality and experience and isn’t essentially heteronormative. Plus, if you just want “sex”, you’re not distinguishing between good sex and bad sex. Guarantee, these men care about the difference even as they claim they don’t.

So, while many of us have (half) jokingly talked about needing to get laid, this makes the concept into an all-encompasing, existential want that defines a (cis, heterosexual) man’s entire existence. It makes men seem very sad and certainly not free or liberated. End male sexuality to end men’s suffering! X-D

Furthermore, the implication is that men have no standards. The amount of shaming of all kinds of women (e.g. too fat, dyed hair, has opinions, etc) by these manosphere types suggests otherwise.

Lastly, the “always have options” meme seems a little anti-poly, or at least mischaracterizing it and other types of open relationships as being solely to the man’s benefit or that they should exist solely for the man’s benefit. So, yeah, fuck these memes.

@ runsinbackground

Touche. Your reading of the internal logic as accidentally empowering women makes sense to me.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
8 years ago

Women’s sexuality: the primary thing that motivates and interests men. Central to masculine identity! Nothing else matters!

Women’s sexuality: Meh, no big deal. Get over yourself, princess.

They whip back and forth between those two extremes so often, you could power a maglev train with their alternating logic.

“Your vagina is so NOT SPECIAL that I’m going to romanticize it in the style of lurid 1950s Communist propaganda art.”

“Yesterday I spent 18 hours laboring over an MS Paint graph which scientifically proves that women are a waste of time.”

“I had to search 165 image sites (with a few porn detours here and there) but I finally found the perfect stock photo to illustrate how we shouldn’t pay any attention to women.”

@IP – We’ll be heading north on the Garden State Parkway around noon – not sure how close that is to you? Would love to have a quick rest stop coffee with you and your Otter, if we could figure out a way to occupy two active 4 year olds -__-