Scott Adams: The DNC is literally lowering men’s testosterone levels and making them sad

Welcome to today’s episode of “wait, did Scott Adams really say that, Scott Adams the Dilbert guy, really?”

And the answer to that question is, as always, “yes, yes he did say that.”

In a post on his blog yesterday, Adams continued his evolution into a living Men’s Rights subreddit comment by lamenting what he sees as the MAN-DESTROYING MISANDRY of the Democratic party.

“On the surface, the convention is going great,” Adams wrote.

Michelle Obama made a speech for the ages. Bill Clinton was his masterful self. Bernie gave a full-throated endorsement of Clinton. The whole affair has been a festival of inclusiveness. The media is eating it like cake. All good, right?

Not so fast! Because beneath the sunny surface of the DNC lurks the testosterone-destroying monster that is the inadequate appreciation of dudes! 

[I]f you’re an undecided voter, and male, you’re seeing … a celebration that your role in society is permanently diminished.

Adams followed this with, well, tell me if this line of thought sounds vaguely familiar to you:

And it’s happening in an impressive venue that was, in all likelihood, designed and built mostly by men. Men get to watch it all at home, in homes designed and built mostly by men, thanks to the technology that was designed and built mostly by men.

WE BUILT THE WELLS FARGO CENTER TO … er … seat you?

I mention that as context, not opinion.

Ok then.

To Adams, the most diabolically anti-male portion of the DNC so far has been … Alicia Keys.

I watched singer Alicia Keys perform her song Superwoman at the convention and experienced a sinking feeling. I’m fairly certain my testosterone levels dropped as I watched, and that’s not even a little bit of an exaggeration.

And he’s not making a joke here. He literally thinks his testosterone level dropped while he listened to Alicia Keys sing this:

Even when I’m a mess
I still put on a vest
With an S on my chest
Oh yes
I’m a Superwoman

Adams continues:

Science says men’s testosterone levels rise when they experience victory, and drop when they experience the opposite. I watched Keys tell the world that women are the answer to our problems. True or not, men were probably not feeling successful and victorious during her act.

Just how fragile does Adams think the male ego is, anyway?

Let me say this again, so you know I’m not kidding. Based on what I know about the human body, and the way our thoughts regulate our hormones, the Democratic National Convention is probably lowering testosterone levels all over the country. Literally, not figuratively.

Well, at least he’s using “literally” correctly.

Naturally, Adams thinks this will lead to the election of REAL MAN Donald Trump.

And since testosterone is a feel-good chemical for men, I think the Democratic convention is making men feel less happy. They might not know why they feel less happy, but they will start to associate the low feeling with whatever they are looking at when it happens, i.e. Clinton.

Wait, wouldn’t they associate it with Alicia Keys? I’m a little confused.

On an emotional level – where hormones rule – men have left the building…that they built.

Adams ended his post by reminding us all again of his fake “endorsement” of Hillary Clinton, whom, he explained, he fake-endorsed

for my personal safety, because I live in California where it is dangerous for people to think you are a Trump supporter. My political views don’t align with either candidate and I don’t vote, in order to protect my objectivity.

Yeah, I don’t think you quite understand how “objectivity” works, you human Men’s Rights subreddit comment.

H/T — @malki on Twitter, via @clinicboss