Welcome to today’s episode of “wait, did Scott Adams really say that, Scott Adams the Dilbert guy, really?”
And the answer to that question is, as always, “yes, yes he did say that.”
In a post on his blog yesterday, Adams continued his evolution into a living Men’s Rights subreddit comment by lamenting what he sees as the MAN-DESTROYING MISANDRY of the Democratic party.
“On the surface, the convention is going great,” Adams wrote.
Michelle Obama made a speech for the ages. Bill Clinton was his masterful self. Bernie gave a full-throated endorsement of Clinton. The whole affair has been a festival of inclusiveness. The media is eating it like cake. All good, right?
Not so fast! Because beneath the sunny surface of the DNC lurks the testosterone-destroying monster that is the inadequate appreciation of dudes!
[I]f you’re an undecided voter, and male, you’re seeing … a celebration that your role in society is permanently diminished.
Adams followed this with, well, tell me if this line of thought sounds vaguely familiar to you:
And it’s happening in an impressive venue that was, in all likelihood, designed and built mostly by men. Men get to watch it all at home, in homes designed and built mostly by men, thanks to the technology that was designed and built mostly by men.
WE BUILT THE WELLS FARGO CENTER TO … er … seat you?
I mention that as context, not opinion.
Ok then.
To Adams, the most diabolically anti-male portion of the DNC so far has been … Alicia Keys.
I watched singer Alicia Keys perform her song Superwoman at the convention and experienced a sinking feeling. I’m fairly certain my testosterone levels dropped as I watched, and that’s not even a little bit of an exaggeration.
And he’s not making a joke here. He literally thinks his testosterone level dropped while he listened to Alicia Keys sing this:
Even when I’m a mess
I still put on a vest
With an S on my chest
Oh yes
I’m a Superwoman
Adams continues:
Science says men’s testosterone levels rise when they experience victory, and drop when they experience the opposite. I watched Keys tell the world that women are the answer to our problems. True or not, men were probably not feeling successful and victorious during her act.
Just how fragile does Adams think the male ego is, anyway?
Let me say this again, so you know I’m not kidding. Based on what I know about the human body, and the way our thoughts regulate our hormones, the Democratic National Convention is probably lowering testosterone levels all over the country. Literally, not figuratively.
Well, at least he’s using “literally” correctly.
Naturally, Adams thinks this will lead to the election of REAL MAN Donald Trump.
And since testosterone is a feel-good chemical for men, I think the Democratic convention is making men feel less happy. They might not know why they feel less happy, but they will start to associate the low feeling with whatever they are looking at when it happens, i.e. Clinton.
Wait, wouldn’t they associate it with Alicia Keys? I’m a little confused.
On an emotional level – where hormones rule – men have left the building…that they built.
Adams ended his post by reminding us all again of his fake “endorsement” of Hillary Clinton, whom, he explained, he fake-endorsed
for my personal safety, because I live in California where it is dangerous for people to think you are a Trump supporter. My political views don’t align with either candidate and I don’t vote, in order to protect my objectivity.
Yeah, I don’t think you quite understand how “objectivity” works, you human Men’s Rights subreddit comment.
H/T — @malki on Twitter, via @clinicboss
Adams made a bad tweet and got completely dunked on by Bill fucking Kristol. If that’s not a delete your account moment idk what is.
@Alan
There was an American military scientist who wanted to tie time-delayed incendiaries to bats. His reasoning was that if they were “dropped” from bombers during the day, they would fly under the eaves and into crevices of buildings to sleep until night, which would be good places for those incendiaries to go off.
The bizarre part is that the United States gave him funding for a prototype. The project was only canceled because he burned down a genuine military outpost while testing his firebats on mockups.
Objectivist sees life as one big zero-sum game, news at 11.
Dear Scott (needs-to-own-MRA-because-he-damn-well-is-one) Adams:
For my personal safety, because I live in America as a black man where it is dangerous for me period, my political views align with Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton. I’m voting for her in order to protect my actual ass and many others.
Well. My husband seemed to be thoroughly enjoying himself while we watched the DNC. He smiled a lot, and even laughed. On the other hand, he became so miserable watching the RNC that we had to revive ourselves with a couple episodes of Braindead. Either Scott Adams is full of shit, or my husband has been secretly trans for 40 years.
Nah. Scott Adams is full of shit.
@ banned
Yeah, it was a cock-up. Not as bad as the dog-bomb one though. That’s where the Russians rounded up starving dogs, then left food for them under tanks. Once the dogs got in the habit of running under tanks to look for food, they had anti-tank mines strapped to their backs and were let loose near German lines.
Unfortunately of course the dogs had got used to looking under Russian tanks and so ran back to their own lines with (what perhaps should have been) predicable results.
ETA: Much as I’m glad it didn’t go into production the pigeon guided missile was quite clever. BF Skinner trained pigeons to get food by tapping pictures of enemy battleships. They then designed a missile with a window at the front for the pigeon to look through. They then launched the missile near the target ships. The pigeon tapped on the view of the battleship as it appeared in the window and the taps were translated into guidance control for the missile.
https://twitter.com/upandoutcomic/status/758490519085297664 this made me laugh so hard
Seems to me that Scott here isn’t suffering from low testosterone as he is from believing the tripe that men and women are on opposite sides of some ridiculous war of the sexes. Newsflash dude: men and women aren’t adversaries, they aren’t opposing forces, they aren’t fighting for resources at the expense of the other. They’re members of the same species that would only benefit from the full and equal participation from all adult citizens, male or female.
If he’s feeling defeated by the fact that a woman is feeling good about herself, then maybe he needs to take a closer look at the times when he feels victorious.
But who am I kidding? He’s not really capable of meaningful self-reflection, is he?
@Mish
Didn’t work 🙁 I don’t even know where my post went, lol. Sooo… I might just make a tumblr out of it.
I’m reminded of George Carlin’s brilliant monologue on “The Male Disease” (Carlin’s language), which dissects toxic masculinity and its effects (“All the problems in the world — repeat, all the problems in the world — can be traced to what fathers do to their sons.”).
Much ado about testosterone there, in ways that would be useful to Scott Adams if he were capable of learning. (“TESTOSTERONE — the most lethal substance on Earth.”)
@JoeB: Now I hate Scott Adams even more… he made me briefly respect Kristol! The horror!
Dave Barry wrote a column about that!
It’s not as funny as the exploding whale one though.
To bring it slightly on topic, he’s also been covering the conventions.
ETA: Phooey, the links aren’t showing up. Someday I’ll figure out how to do them.
@newbie:
It’s kinda funny, there was a time a little bit ago in between my leaving high school and about a year or two ago where I thought that I’d start cringing hard about the things Carlin said, because I loved him so much when I was an edgy “anti-PC” teen.
Now, though, for all the questionable stuff he might have said as well, it’s just great for me to listen back to a lot of his bits and realize that he probably would be called an SJW mangina cuck shill if he were still around today.
Ooglyboggles – I would like to live under your new world order and suggest adding awesomely updated infrastructure and support for research of all kinds.
Apropos of nothing – I had a terrible dream last night about being attacked by Roosh V that also involved desperately searching for a bunch of shoes I’d been carelessly carrying around. :S
“[I]f you’re an undecided voter, and male, you’re seeing … a celebration that your role in society is permanently diminished”
Oh, wait, so, if you’re constantly looking to confirm your biases, you’ll always find them? Whoa!
Is the… is the thing about testosterone levels going up with victory a thing? I imagine it is, but Scott’s argument uses it to ridiculous ends. :/
ViolinlessHoax – I have the same guilt, just with the comic-a-day calendars that I used to seek out at mall kiosks every winter holiday season. I have since stopped buying them and chucked the old ones (yeah, I saved them, too) in the recycling.
@Alan:
The Russian dog bomb was listed in The (Incomplete) Book of Failures: The Official Handbook of the Not-Terribly-Good Club of Great Britain as one of the three worst weapons in the world. The other two being, I believe, the British ‘sticky bomb’ (a large grenade with glue that was supposed to stick to tanks before blowing up, but which was large enough that it was difficult to throw to a safe distance, on top of having to hold it carefully to avoid the glue), and a Chinese ‘spike bomb’ (a spear with a shaped charge in the tip that was supposed to punch through armour then explode inwards, which had the unfortunate tendency to explode on contact and blast the shaft of the spear backwards, sometimes through people).
It was a fun book, and not afraid to make fun of itself. “Errata: page ii. For ‘Errata’, read ‘Erratum’.”
That level of self-deprecation would actually give me hope that he wasn’t as likely to screw up, because he actually understood he had limits.
Then again, I’m Canadian. A lot of Canadian humour is built around self-deprecation. After all, nobody else takes us seriously, so why should we?
@ jenora
It’s funny to consider that the Chinese spike bomb eventually became the model for anti tank RPGs. And speaking of tanks….
Yeah, the sticky bomb (No.74 Grenade if we’re being technical) had a weird history (the prototypes used old socks and porridge). Its flaws were apparent very early on. Not only was it dangerous to throw (sometimes it would stick to the thrower), it didn’t work if the target tank was wet, dusty, or had a smooth paint job. Churchill however loved it for some reason and insisted on its development.
Eventually though it did become popular with military units (especially the Home Guard) when the tactic of directly placing it on the target rather than throwing it was adopted. Interestingly the SAS independently came up with their own version of the sticky bomb that they used to great effect against parked aircraft.
Even when I’m a mess
I still put on a vest
With an S on my chest
Oh yes
I’m a Superwoman
I find it disturbing that a man who pens a comic strip based on the nod and the wink apparently has a deficient irony monitor. Just saying. (Now, back to our regularly scheduled diversions.)
All I can say to Scott Adams is
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
[That’s mocking laughter, not evil laughter. :)]
Doesn’t know much about hormones does he?
My Scott Adams Epiphany:
Believe it or not, Playboy magazine was banned in Ireland up till the mid-90s. When it finally started appearing on newsagents’ shelves, I bought a few copies. For the articles, of course. Because isn’t that what every man bought it for, the articles?
All I can say is: thanks be to Jaysus there were pictures of naked ladies in it to look at so I didn’t feel entirely out of pocket. Those were some crappy articles. I guess the mid-90s were a nadir for a lot of things, but still*.
One of the copies I bought explicitly for an interview with Scott Adams as I was a just-graduated IT drone and loved all things Dilbert. My verdict after reading it: hmm, he’s a bit of a douche, isn’t he? I still bought the occasional collection for a few years after but I sent the whole lot down to the local charity shop after he started this “what about the menz?” bullshit on his blog.
(* Another copy I bought was for an interview with Ray Bradbury. Another disappointment; I was left bewildered how this grumpy old shite wrote those wonderfully lyrical SF stories. Playboy: it brings out the inner douche in everyone)
Based on my college experience, there seems to be a lot of misogyny among people going into STEM industry jobs. Misogyny can still be an issue in STEM academia but it’s mitigated for various reasons even though it’s still a problem (especially on the issue of who ends up getting tenure or having a “distinguished” Ph.D. dissertation in math/physics, chemistry, or engineering). It’s not too surprising that the guy who created Dilbert is a misogynist.
So, I googled for “sad boner is sad”, and found:
http://memecrunch.com/meme/TDJ9/sad-boner/image.jpg
And on that note, I’m glad his boner is sad. I hope it stays that way. It will save a lot of women a lot of trouble.
@Alan Robertshaw:
Serves them right for treating dogs like that.
I admire the man very much, but he was kind of like a big kid. I laughed when I learned about him “helping” build a brick wall in the garden, and how the real masons had to redo his work when he went in for tea. He probably just thought the sticky grenade sounded cool.