Welcome to today’s episode of “wait, did Scott Adams really say that, Scott Adams the Dilbert guy, really?”
And the answer to that question is, as always, “yes, yes he did say that.”
In a post on his blog yesterday, Adams continued his evolution into a living Men’s Rights subreddit comment by lamenting what he sees as the MAN-DESTROYING MISANDRY of the Democratic party.
“On the surface, the convention is going great,” Adams wrote.
Michelle Obama made a speech for the ages. Bill Clinton was his masterful self. Bernie gave a full-throated endorsement of Clinton. The whole affair has been a festival of inclusiveness. The media is eating it like cake. All good, right?
Not so fast! Because beneath the sunny surface of the DNC lurks the testosterone-destroying monster that is the inadequate appreciation of dudes!
[I]f you’re an undecided voter, and male, you’re seeing … a celebration that your role in society is permanently diminished.
Adams followed this with, well, tell me if this line of thought sounds vaguely familiar to you:
And it’s happening in an impressive venue that was, in all likelihood, designed and built mostly by men. Men get to watch it all at home, in homes designed and built mostly by men, thanks to the technology that was designed and built mostly by men.
WE BUILT THE WELLS FARGO CENTER TO … er … seat you?
I mention that as context, not opinion.
Ok then.
To Adams, the most diabolically anti-male portion of the DNC so far has been … Alicia Keys.
I watched singer Alicia Keys perform her song Superwoman at the convention and experienced a sinking feeling. I’m fairly certain my testosterone levels dropped as I watched, and that’s not even a little bit of an exaggeration.
And he’s not making a joke here. He literally thinks his testosterone level dropped while he listened to Alicia Keys sing this:
Even when I’m a mess
I still put on a vest
With an S on my chest
Oh yes
I’m a Superwoman
Adams continues:
Science says men’s testosterone levels rise when they experience victory, and drop when they experience the opposite. I watched Keys tell the world that women are the answer to our problems. True or not, men were probably not feeling successful and victorious during her act.
Just how fragile does Adams think the male ego is, anyway?
Let me say this again, so you know I’m not kidding. Based on what I know about the human body, and the way our thoughts regulate our hormones, the Democratic National Convention is probably lowering testosterone levels all over the country. Literally, not figuratively.
Well, at least he’s using “literally” correctly.
Naturally, Adams thinks this will lead to the election of REAL MAN Donald Trump.
And since testosterone is a feel-good chemical for men, I think the Democratic convention is making men feel less happy. They might not know why they feel less happy, but they will start to associate the low feeling with whatever they are looking at when it happens, i.e. Clinton.
Wait, wouldn’t they associate it with Alicia Keys? I’m a little confused.
On an emotional level – where hormones rule – men have left the building…that they built.
Adams ended his post by reminding us all again of his fake “endorsement” of Hillary Clinton, whom, he explained, he fake-endorsed
for my personal safety, because I live in California where it is dangerous for people to think you are a Trump supporter. My political views don’t align with either candidate and I don’t vote, in order to protect my objectivity.
Yeah, I don’t think you quite understand how “objectivity” works, you human Men’s Rights subreddit comment.
H/T — @malki on Twitter, via @clinicboss
@ mish
Yes, I think I’ll stick to believing that too. But it is awful how we abuse animals like that; you’re probably aware of the Russian dog bombs for taking out tanks (and the rather fitting way that backfired). Pigeons were also intended to be used in the first guided cruise missiles (thanks to BF Skinner) but luckily science overtook that. The largest number of recipients of the Dickin Medal (the animal Victoria Cross) are pigeons.
My favourite animals in war story is when the U.S. trained Dolphins to lay mines. The Dolphins happily went through the training and ate all the fish; but the first time they let them out into the open sea they all fucked off and were never seen again.
Try that picture again…
http://i1039.photobucket.com/albums/a471/Bencejas1/AZYX_zpsxbckxzmr.jpg
@ ooglyboggles
Hooray!
Boo!
The worst part is how he seem to believe one should shoot for the highest possible amount of testosterones. That’s not how biology work.
There was a time when this would have been, hands down, the dumbest thing I had ever seen. I kinda miss those days…
@WWTH
@Oogly
When white people are scared, things become illegal reeeal quick. Nobody would ever use it, but it’d work…
What now?! But the Mole Man is a real Nice Guy(tm)!
Well, now I’m confused. I thought that MRAs and the MRA-adjacent eschew emotions and make decisions based purely on dispassionate logic, reason, and the other higher executive functions of which only men’s brains are capable.
I’m glad he’s sad. I hope he stays that way.
Scott Adams is suffering from male menopause and might be well advised to take testosterone supplements. And I’m not even joking or taking the piss.
Get better Scott! I disagree, yet sympathise with you.
@Pol : it look terribly like Affluenza.
I’ve been increasingly sad for buying so many Dilbert books. I can’t read them now without thinking about this pompous jack-o-lantern.
I have been having a lot of fun with a little project that I call “Dilbert without Dilbert speaking”. It’s heavily based on Garfield without Garfield obvs, with the major change that I only erase Dilbert’s lines. Some of them are super funny that way, a lot of funnier than Adams’ originals.
I would show one or two here, but I haven’t figured out how to post pictures =/
@ViolinlessHoax : I love the early dilbert stuff, back when he was mostly at home and they were a dinosaurs among regular characters. It’s not what one expect from dilbert at all, but there is a whimsy, sort of calvin-like quality to them
Some of the office period one are quite good. But the quality have steadily declined. I stopped reading them one or two year ago, after actually paying attention to one of the rumblings of the authors.
Now, as usual, remember that a very bad man can do good work at some time. The ur example is H.P. Lovecraft. The man is one of the most awful people that was ever born and who did not turn into a dictator ; the fantasy novel (that he loathed) are often quite good.
@ViolinlessHoax – could you please, please, pretty please try to figure out how to post them? Are they just regular online pics? I SO want to see them 😀
@Alan – I didn’t know about the dolphins, but now I can see them swimming off saying “So long, and thanks for all the fish.” Possibly leaving a couple of beautiful glass bowls behind?
An incomplete and irrelevant statement doesn’t become relevant just because it’s “context, not opinion”.
And you see that as a bad thing, because it’s
Which appears to be about as much as what PUAs know about female individuals.
So is marijuana, and not only for men. And it’s becoming legal all over the US. I suggest you take a break from being at all present on the internet, and roll yeself a doobie. Should do wonders for you. And the rest of us.
@alan: wow, Dolphins really are smarter than we are ?
@wwth: I hereby volunteer to be the fist man deliberately made sad in the search for world peace. Of course, testosterone is not, actually, a ‘feel good chemical’. I think Adams has been reading too much of the wrong Internet.
@everyone who pointed out that women have testosterone too: but women don’t matter. Only men count, because We Hunted The Mammoth! Amirite? (Sarcasm)
Let me know when this election is over and the Great White Father has been soundly defeated.
So, no more buildings because Alicia Keys. That’s a mature and rational response.
At least Democrats have a long list of decent musical acts who are happy to be associated with them. The RNC dug around in the bottom barrel and came up with obnoxious sleazy has-been Kid Rock, the remnants of Lynyrd Skynyrd (who haven’t been relevant in 40 years), some we-love-the-USA country singers, and a whole bunch of songs used without permission of the owners. (Republicans seem to have an ongoing problem with that…I remember McCain was especially flagrant about appropriating songs without the musicians’ consent). A lot of artists who might normally have performed turned down the RNC’s offer or found “other commitments”.
Nothing like rejection and a handful of outdated Z-list singers to make men feel victorious.
@ Ohmann
Yeah maybe. I’ll say though, if Scott Adams has Affluenza, then he really needs a helping hand, from me, to relieve him of this terrible disease. Maybe he could sling me a few bucks and take the oppressive weight from his shoulders.
Even so, I think that being rich really can make you unhappy. Although I would like to hear what the homeless have to say about that.
I can agree with the idea that too much money, especially won too fast, can make someone unhappy. So can eating too much chocolate.
@ mish (& jokester)
It’s not clear whether the Dolphins took the mines with them. I don’t know whether to be concerned or amused at the thought they might be stockpiling weapons.
@ olhmann
*rambling anecdote warning*
One of my mates won a bit of money on our lottery. Not millions but enough to buy a holiday home in Barcelona (and shut up my “lotteries are a tax on the stupid” comments)
When you win an amount like that they arrange for you to see a Camelot advisor (that’s the company that runs the lottery). They give practical advice about seeking investment advice and the like, but also advice on the psychological effects.
My mate said to the lady “You must have the best job in the world; you tell people their dream have come true”
She pointed out that for a lot of people, winning large amounts could really mess them up and ultimately leave them unhappy. She gave the example of a notorious lottery winner who just blew all his millions on silly things and is now destitute. “She added: “He’s our biggest embarrassment”
My mate responded “Ha, watch this space!”
ETA: the nice thing about buying the Barcelona place is that he lets us all use it. So we all get the benefits of his win without the hassle of writing begging letters.
Aw shit guys, my testosterone got so low from watching the DNC that now I don’t have superpowers anymore. I was gonna go fight crime tonight, but I guess the menacing evil that is Crooked Hillary is unstoppable now that I am but a Sad, Low-Testosterone Man. 🙁
Warning: This comment contains SARCASM.
I’m off to youtube to search for videos about celebrating various women. I’m not very attached to my testosterone. :p
@Alan : yes, it’s a good example of money won too fast. The french lottery have several lottery where you win money every month for up to 10 years (I think ?) ; it seem much better than winning 10 millions in one go at least for psychological stability.
Still, I don’t feel that being rich is a problem. It give your the tool to create your own problem, just like chocolate isn’t a poison by itself, but you can end in trouble because of it.
So according to this guy, a single song in which a woman says she feels strong and encourages other women to do the same is going to make men feel defeated. It’s gonna make them feel defeated to such a degree that their testosterone will practically evaporate. And that will make men so sad, that they will change their vote just because they have asssociated a candidate with that sad feeling.
I thought women were supposed to be the emotional gender who can’t use logic. So where the heck did that rationale come from? Is this just Adams projecting his own butthurt over a song not being about him, over the entire male population? It probably is.
That aside, maybe I should buy hoop earrings. They look pretty nice.