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Scott Adams: The DNC is literally lowering men’s testosterone levels and making them sad

Alicia Keys, destroying the men of America with her diabolical music
Alicia Keys, destroying the men of America with her Hoop Earrings of Great Misandry

Welcome to today’s episode of “wait, did Scott Adams really say that, Scott Adams the Dilbert guy, really?”

And the answer to that question is, as always, “yes, yes he did say that.”

In a post on his blog yesterday, Adams continued his evolution into a living Men’s Rights subreddit comment by lamenting what he sees as the MAN-DESTROYING MISANDRY of the Democratic party.

“On the surface, the convention is going great,” Adams wrote.

Michelle Obama made a speech for the ages. Bill Clinton was his masterful self. Bernie gave a full-throated endorsement of Clinton. The whole affair has been a festival of inclusiveness. The media is eating it like cake. All good, right?

Not so fast! Because beneath the sunny surface of the DNC lurks the testosterone-destroying monster that is the inadequate appreciation of dudes! 

[I]f you’re an undecided voter, and male, you’re seeing … a celebration that your role in society is permanently diminished.

Adams followed this with, well, tell me if this line of thought sounds vaguely familiar to you:

And it’s happening in an impressive venue that was, in all likelihood, designed and built mostly by men. Men get to watch it all at home, in homes designed and built mostly by men, thanks to the technology that was designed and built mostly by men.

WE BUILT THE WELLS FARGO CENTER TO … er … seat you?

I mention that as context, not opinion.

Ok then.

To Adams, the most diabolically anti-male portion of the DNC so far has been … Alicia Keys.

I watched singer Alicia Keys perform her song Superwoman at the convention and experienced a sinking feeling. I’m fairly certain my testosterone levels dropped as I watched, and that’s not even a little bit of an exaggeration.

And he’s not making a joke here. He literally thinks his testosterone level dropped while he listened to Alicia Keys sing this:

Even when I’m a mess
I still put on a vest
With an S on my chest
Oh yes
I’m a Superwoman

Adams continues:

Science says men’s testosterone levels rise when they experience victory, and drop when they experience the opposite. I watched Keys tell the world that women are the answer to our problems. True or not, men were probably not feeling successful and victorious during her act.

Just how fragile does Adams think the male ego is, anyway?

Let me say this again, so you know I’m not kidding. Based on what I know about the human body, and the way our thoughts regulate our hormones, the Democratic National Convention is probably lowering testosterone levels all over the country. Literally, not figuratively.

Well, at least he’s using “literally” correctly.

Naturally, Adams thinks this will lead to the election of REAL MAN Donald Trump.

And since testosterone is a feel-good chemical for men, I think the Democratic convention is making men feel less happy. They might not know why they feel less happy, but they will start to associate the low feeling with whatever they are looking at when it happens, i.e. Clinton.

Wait, wouldn’t they associate it with Alicia Keys? I’m a little confused.

On an emotional level – where hormones rule – men have left the building…that they built.

Adams ended his post by reminding us all again of his fake “endorsement” of Hillary Clinton, whom, he explained, he fake-endorsed

for my personal safety, because I live in California where it is dangerous for people to think you are a Trump supporter. My political views don’t align with either candidate and I don’t vote, in order to protect my objectivity.

Yeah, I don’t think you quite understand how “objectivity” works, you human Men’s Rights subreddit comment.

H/T —  on Twitter, via 

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Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

@ mish

Yes, I think I’ll stick to believing that too. But it is awful how we abuse animals like that; you’re probably aware of the Russian dog bombs for taking out tanks (and the rather fitting way that backfired). Pigeons were also intended to be used in the first guided cruise missiles (thanks to BF Skinner) but luckily science overtook that. The largest number of recipients of the Dickin Medal (the animal Victoria Cross) are pigeons.

My favourite animals in war story is when the U.S. trained Dolphins to lay mines. The Dolphins happily went through the training and ate all the fish; but the first time they let them out into the open sea they all fucked off and were never seen again.
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Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago
Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

@ ooglyboggles

Jetpacks…for all!

Hooray!

on how to use them safely

Boo!

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
5 years ago

The worst part is how he seem to believe one should shoot for the highest possible amount of testosterones. That’s not how biology work.

KathleenB
KathleenB
5 years ago

There was a time when this would have been, hands down, the dumbest thing I had ever seen. I kinda miss those days…

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
5 years ago

@WWTH

A woman talking about how small, petty, temperamental and shall we say hysterical her male opponent is? Not going to go over too well in the manuresphere/alt right

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@Oogly

call their bluff and see more gun laws by playing to the racist fears of brown people also being people who can also own guns

When white people are scared, things become illegal reeeal quick. Nobody would ever use it, but it’d work…

Malitia
Malitia
5 years ago

We need jetpacks to fight the mole people!

What now?! But the Mole Man is a real Nice Guy(tm)!

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Olive O'Sudden
Olive O'Sudden
5 years ago

On an emotional level – where hormones rule – men have left the building…that they built.

Well, now I’m confused. I thought that MRAs and the MRA-adjacent eschew emotions and make decisions based purely on dispassionate logic, reason, and the other higher executive functions of which only men’s brains are capable.

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

I’m glad he’s sad. I hope he stays that way.

Pol
Pol
5 years ago

Scott Adams is suffering from male menopause and might be well advised to take testosterone supplements. And I’m not even joking or taking the piss.

Get better Scott! I disagree, yet sympathise with you.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
5 years ago

@Pol : it look terribly like Affluenza.

ViolinlessHoax
ViolinlessHoax
5 years ago

I’ve been increasingly sad for buying so many Dilbert books. I can’t read them now without thinking about this pompous jack-o-lantern.

I have been having a lot of fun with a little project that I call “Dilbert without Dilbert speaking”. It’s heavily based on Garfield without Garfield obvs, with the major change that I only erase Dilbert’s lines. Some of them are super funny that way, a lot of funnier than Adams’ originals.

I would show one or two here, but I haven’t figured out how to post pictures =/

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
5 years ago

@ViolinlessHoax : I love the early dilbert stuff, back when he was mostly at home and they were a dinosaurs among regular characters. It’s not what one expect from dilbert at all, but there is a whimsy, sort of calvin-like quality to them

Some of the office period one are quite good. But the quality have steadily declined. I stopped reading them one or two year ago, after actually paying attention to one of the rumblings of the authors.

Now, as usual, remember that a very bad man can do good work at some time. The ur example is H.P. Lovecraft. The man is one of the most awful people that was ever born and who did not turn into a dictator ; the fantasy novel (that he loathed) are often quite good.

Mish
Mish
5 years ago

@ViolinlessHoax – could you please, please, pretty please try to figure out how to post them? Are they just regular online pics? I SO want to see them 😀

@Alan – I didn’t know about the dolphins, but now I can see them swimming off saying “So long, and thanks for all the fish.” Possibly leaving a couple of beautiful glass bowls behind?

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko
5 years ago

I mention that as context, not opinion.

An incomplete and irrelevant statement doesn’t become relevant just because it’s “context, not opinion”.

I’m fairly certain my testosterone levels dropped as I watched

And you see that as a bad thing, because it’s

Based on what I know about the human body, and the way our thoughts regulate our hormones

Which appears to be about as much as what PUAs know about female individuals.

And since testosterone is a feel-good chemical for men

So is marijuana, and not only for men. And it’s becoming legal all over the US. I suggest you take a break from being at all present on the internet, and roll yeself a doobie. Should do wonders for you. And the rest of us.

Joekster
Joekster
5 years ago

@alan: wow, Dolphins really are smarter than we are 😀

@wwth: I hereby volunteer to be the fist man deliberately made sad in the search for world peace. Of course, testosterone is not, actually, a ‘feel good chemical’. I think Adams has been reading too much of the wrong Internet.

@everyone who pointed out that women have testosterone too: but women don’t matter. Only men count, because We Hunted The Mammoth! Amirite? (Sarcasm)

Let me know when this election is over and the Great White Father has been soundly defeated.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
5 years ago

So, no more buildings because Alicia Keys. That’s a mature and rational response.

At least Democrats have a long list of decent musical acts who are happy to be associated with them. The RNC dug around in the bottom barrel and came up with obnoxious sleazy has-been Kid Rock, the remnants of Lynyrd Skynyrd (who haven’t been relevant in 40 years), some we-love-the-USA country singers, and a whole bunch of songs used without permission of the owners. (Republicans seem to have an ongoing problem with that…I remember McCain was especially flagrant about appropriating songs without the musicians’ consent). A lot of artists who might normally have performed turned down the RNC’s offer or found “other commitments”.

Nothing like rejection and a handful of outdated Z-list singers to make men feel victorious.

Pol
Pol
5 years ago

@ Ohmann

Yeah maybe. I’ll say though, if Scott Adams has Affluenza, then he really needs a helping hand, from me, to relieve him of this terrible disease. Maybe he could sling me a few bucks and take the oppressive weight from his shoulders.

Even so, I think that being rich really can make you unhappy. Although I would like to hear what the homeless have to say about that.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
5 years ago

I can agree with the idea that too much money, especially won too fast, can make someone unhappy. So can eating too much chocolate.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

@ mish (& jokester)

It’s not clear whether the Dolphins took the mines with them. I don’t know whether to be concerned or amused at the thought they might be stockpiling weapons.

“Flipper burns? Blowhole marks? This looks like the work of rowdy teens. Lou, cancel the Prom”

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

@ olhmann

I can agree with the idea that too much money, especially won too fast, can make someone unhappy.

*rambling anecdote warning*

One of my mates won a bit of money on our lottery. Not millions but enough to buy a holiday home in Barcelona (and shut up my “lotteries are a tax on the stupid” comments)

When you win an amount like that they arrange for you to see a Camelot advisor (that’s the company that runs the lottery). They give practical advice about seeking investment advice and the like, but also advice on the psychological effects.

My mate said to the lady “You must have the best job in the world; you tell people their dream have come true”

She pointed out that for a lot of people, winning large amounts could really mess them up and ultimately leave them unhappy. She gave the example of a notorious lottery winner who just blew all his millions on silly things and is now destitute. “She added: “He’s our biggest embarrassment”

My mate responded “Ha, watch this space!”

ETA: the nice thing about buying the Barcelona place is that he lets us all use it. So we all get the benefits of his win without the hassle of writing begging letters.

DS
DS
5 years ago

Aw shit guys, my testosterone got so low from watching the DNC that now I don’t have superpowers anymore. I was gonna go fight crime tonight, but I guess the menacing evil that is Crooked Hillary is unstoppable now that I am but a Sad, Low-Testosterone Man. 🙁

Warning: This comment contains SARCASM.

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
5 years ago

I’m off to youtube to search for videos about celebrating various women. I’m not very attached to my testosterone. :p

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
5 years ago

@Alan : yes, it’s a good example of money won too fast. The french lottery have several lottery where you win money every month for up to 10 years (I think ?) ; it seem much better than winning 10 millions in one go at least for psychological stability.

Still, I don’t feel that being rich is a problem. It give your the tool to create your own problem, just like chocolate isn’t a poison by itself, but you can end in trouble because of it.

EpicurusHog
EpicurusHog
5 years ago

So according to this guy, a single song in which a woman says she feels strong and encourages other women to do the same is going to make men feel defeated. It’s gonna make them feel defeated to such a degree that their testosterone will practically evaporate. And that will make men so sad, that they will change their vote just because they have asssociated a candidate with that sad feeling.

I thought women were supposed to be the emotional gender who can’t use logic. So where the heck did that rationale come from? Is this just Adams projecting his own butthurt over a song not being about him, over the entire male population? It probably is.

That aside, maybe I should buy hoop earrings. They look pretty nice.

JoeB
JoeB
5 years ago

Adams made a bad tweet and got completely dunked on by Bill fucking Kristol. If that’s not a delete your account moment idk what is.

@ScottAdamsSays
If experience is necessary for being president, name a political topic I can’t master in one hour under the tutelage of top experts.

@BillKristol
Tweeting.

banned@4chan.org
banned@4chan.org
5 years ago

@Alan

There was an American military scientist who wanted to tie time-delayed incendiaries to bats. His reasoning was that if they were “dropped” from bombers during the day, they would fly under the eaves and into crevices of buildings to sleep until night, which would be good places for those incendiaries to go off.

The bizarre part is that the United States gave him funding for a prototype. The project was only canceled because he burned down a genuine military outpost while testing his firebats on mockups.

[I]f you’re an undecided voter, and male, you’re seeing … a celebration that your role in society is permanently diminished.

Objectivist sees life as one big zero-sum game, news at 11.

AAAtheist
5 years ago

Dear Scott (needs-to-own-MRA-because-he-damn-well-is-one) Adams:

For my personal safety, because I live in America as a black man where it is dangerous for me period, my political views align with Hillary Diane Rodham ClintonI’m voting for her in order to protect my actual ass and many others.

Riggsveda
Riggsveda
5 years ago

Well. My husband seemed to be thoroughly enjoying himself while we watched the DNC. He smiled a lot, and even laughed. On the other hand, he became so miserable watching the RNC that we had to revive ourselves with a couple episodes of Braindead. Either Scott Adams is full of shit, or my husband has been secretly trans for 40 years.

Nah. Scott Adams is full of shit.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

@ banned

Yeah, it was a cock-up. Not as bad as the dog-bomb one though. That’s where the Russians rounded up starving dogs, then left food for them under tanks. Once the dogs got in the habit of running under tanks to look for food, they had anti-tank mines strapped to their backs and were let loose near German lines.

Unfortunately of course the dogs had got used to looking under Russian tanks and so ran back to their own lines with (what perhaps should have been) predicable results.

ETA: Much as I’m glad it didn’t go into production the pigeon guided missile was quite clever. BF Skinner trained pigeons to get food by tapping pictures of enemy battleships. They then designed a missile with a window at the front for the pigeon to look through. They then launched the missile near the target ships. The pigeon tapped on the view of the battleship as it appeared in the window and the taps were translated into guidance control for the missile.

Psyker01
Psyker01
5 years ago
WritchCodex
5 years ago

Seems to me that Scott here isn’t suffering from low testosterone as he is from believing the tripe that men and women are on opposite sides of some ridiculous war of the sexes. Newsflash dude: men and women aren’t adversaries, they aren’t opposing forces, they aren’t fighting for resources at the expense of the other. They’re members of the same species that would only benefit from the full and equal participation from all adult citizens, male or female.

If he’s feeling defeated by the fact that a woman is feeling good about herself, then maybe he needs to take a closer look at the times when he feels victorious.

But who am I kidding? He’s not really capable of meaningful self-reflection, is he?

ViolinlessHoax
ViolinlessHoax
5 years ago

@Mish

Didn’t work 🙁 I don’t even know where my post went, lol. Sooo… I might just make a tumblr out of it.

newbie
newbie
5 years ago

I’m reminded of George Carlin’s brilliant monologue on “The Male Disease” (Carlin’s language), which dissects toxic masculinity and its effects (“All the problems in the world — repeat, all the problems in the world — can be traced to what fathers do to their sons.”).

Much ado about testosterone there, in ways that would be useful to Scott Adams if he were capable of learning. (“TESTOSTERONE — the most lethal substance on Earth.”)

leftwingfox
leftwingfox
5 years ago

@JoeB: Now I hate Scott Adams even more… he made me briefly respect Kristol! The horror!

chesselwitt
chesselwitt
5 years ago

banned@4chan.org
There was an American military scientist who wanted to tie time-delayed incendiaries to bats. His reasoning was that if they were “dropped” from bombers during the day, they would fly under the eaves and into crevices of buildings to sleep until night, which would be good places for those incendiaries to go off.

Dave Barry wrote a column about that!

It’s not as funny as the exploding whale one though.

To bring it slightly on topic, he’s also been covering the conventions.

ETA: Phooey, the links aren’t showing up. Someday I’ll figure out how to do them.

dslucia
dslucia
5 years ago

@newbie:

It’s kinda funny, there was a time a little bit ago in between my leaving high school and about a year or two ago where I thought that I’d start cringing hard about the things Carlin said, because I loved him so much when I was an edgy “anti-PC” teen.

Now, though, for all the questionable stuff he might have said as well, it’s just great for me to listen back to a lot of his bits and realize that he probably would be called an SJW mangina cuck shill if he were still around today.

(((Hambeast))) Now With Extra Parentheses
(((Hambeast))) Now With Extra Parentheses
5 years ago

Ooglyboggles – I would like to live under your new world order and suggest adding awesomely updated infrastructure and support for research of all kinds.

Apropos of nothing – I had a terrible dream last night about being attacked by Roosh V that also involved desperately searching for a bunch of shoes I’d been carelessly carrying around. :S

feartheminotaur
feartheminotaur
5 years ago

“[I]f you’re an undecided voter, and male, you’re seeing … a celebration that your role in society is permanently diminished”

Oh, wait, so, if you’re constantly looking to confirm your biases, you’ll always find them? Whoa!

CPphazor
CPphazor
5 years ago

Is the… is the thing about testosterone levels going up with victory a thing? I imagine it is, but Scott’s argument uses it to ridiculous ends. :/

(((Hambeast))) Now With Extra Parentheses
(((Hambeast))) Now With Extra Parentheses
5 years ago

ViolinlessHoax – I have the same guilt, just with the comic-a-day calendars that I used to seek out at mall kiosks every winter holiday season. I have since stopped buying them and chucked the old ones (yeah, I saved them, too) in the recycling.

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
5 years ago

@Alan:
The Russian dog bomb was listed in The (Incomplete) Book of Failures: The Official Handbook of the Not-Terribly-Good Club of Great Britain as one of the three worst weapons in the world. The other two being, I believe, the British ‘sticky bomb’ (a large grenade with glue that was supposed to stick to tanks before blowing up, but which was large enough that it was difficult to throw to a safe distance, on top of having to hold it carefully to avoid the glue), and a Chinese ‘spike bomb’ (a spear with a shaped charge in the tip that was supposed to punch through armour then explode inwards, which had the unfortunate tendency to explode on contact and blast the shaft of the spear backwards, sometimes through people).

It was a fun book, and not afraid to make fun of itself. “Errata: page ii. For ‘Errata’, read ‘Erratum’.”

She added: “He’s our biggest embarrassment”
My mate responded “Ha, watch this space!”

That level of self-deprecation would actually give me hope that he wasn’t as likely to screw up, because he actually understood he had limits.

Then again, I’m Canadian. A lot of Canadian humour is built around self-deprecation. After all, nobody else takes us seriously, so why should we?

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

@ jenora

It’s funny to consider that the Chinese spike bomb eventually became the model for anti tank RPGs. And speaking of tanks….

Yeah, the sticky bomb (No.74 Grenade if we’re being technical) had a weird history (the prototypes used old socks and porridge). Its flaws were apparent very early on. Not only was it dangerous to throw (sometimes it would stick to the thrower), it didn’t work if the target tank was wet, dusty, or had a smooth paint job. Churchill however loved it for some reason and insisted on its development.

Eventually though it did become popular with military units (especially the Home Guard) when the tactic of directly placing it on the target rather than throwing it was adopted. Interestingly the SAS independently came up with their own version of the sticky bomb that they used to great effect against parked aircraft.

bekabot
bekabot
5 years ago

Even when I’m a mess
I still put on a vest
With an S on my chest
Oh yes
I’m a Superwoman

I find it disturbing that a man who pens a comic strip based on the nod and the wink apparently has a deficient irony monitor. Just saying. (Now, back to our regularly scheduled diversions.)

Fishy Goat
Fishy Goat
5 years ago

All I can say to Scott Adams is

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

[That’s mocking laughter, not evil laughter. :)]

LostInLindsey
LostInLindsey
5 years ago

Doesn’t know much about hormones does he?

Cat Mara
5 years ago

My Scott Adams Epiphany:

Believe it or not, Playboy magazine was banned in Ireland up till the mid-90s. When it finally started appearing on newsagents’ shelves, I bought a few copies. For the articles, of course. Because isn’t that what every man bought it for, the articles?

All I can say is: thanks be to Jaysus there were pictures of naked ladies in it to look at so I didn’t feel entirely out of pocket. Those were some crappy articles. I guess the mid-90s were a nadir for a lot of things, but still*.

One of the copies I bought explicitly for an interview with Scott Adams as I was a just-graduated IT drone and loved all things Dilbert. My verdict after reading it: hmm, he’s a bit of a douche, isn’t he? I still bought the occasional collection for a few years after but I sent the whole lot down to the local charity shop after he started this “what about the menz?” bullshit on his blog.

(* Another copy I bought was for an interview with Ray Bradbury. Another disappointment; I was left bewildered how this grumpy old shite wrote those wonderfully lyrical SF stories. Playboy: it brings out the inner douche in everyone)

History Nerd
History Nerd
5 years ago

Based on my college experience, there seems to be a lot of misogyny among people going into STEM industry jobs. Misogyny can still be an issue in STEM academia but it’s mitigated for various reasons even though it’s still a problem (especially on the issue of who ends up getting tenure or having a “distinguished” Ph.D. dissertation in math/physics, chemistry, or engineering). It’s not too surprising that the guy who created Dilbert is a misogynist.

Bina
5 years ago

So, I googled for “sad boner is sad”, and found:

comment image

comment image

http://memecrunch.com/meme/TDJ9/sad-boner/image.jpg

comment image

And on that note, I’m glad his boner is sad. I hope it stays that way. It will save a lot of women a lot of trouble.

AsAboveSoBelow
AsAboveSoBelow
5 years ago

@Alan Robertshaw:

Unfortunately of course the dogs had got used to looking under Russian tanks and so ran back to their own lines with (what perhaps should have been) predicable results.

Serves them right for treating dogs like that.

Churchill however loved it for some reason and insisted on its development.

I admire the man very much, but he was kind of like a big kid. I laughed when I learned about him “helping” build a brick wall in the garden, and how the real masons had to redo his work when he went in for tea. He probably just thought the sticky grenade sounded cool.