So you’ve heard of this Pokemon Go thing, right? It’s the massively popular new mobile game that uses your GPS to lead you to virtual Pokemons hanging out at countless locations in the real world; with a quick toss of a virtual Pokeball, you can catch them for your collection. (If none of that makes sense to you, watch this.)
Now one pickup artist on Reddit says he’s been using the game as a pickup tool, luring young hotties playing the game to his location and, well, collecting them. Or at least, he says, collecting their alleged phone numbers and Facebook pages.
Bsutansalt, a mod on the Red Pill subreddit, shared his secret with Reddit’s would-be pickup artists in a post yesterday.
I went for a bar crawl the other night and EVERYONE was playing it, my friends and I included. Before long we were meeting women left, right, and center and the impact of this little game was not lost on me from a [Red Pill] perspective.
Do tell.
I strongly recommend installing the app and finding a Pokestop or 2 near a bar or some other venues you like. Drop a Lure and just hang out playing the game and enjoy yourself as people start to arrive.
“Will you walk into my parlor?” said the wannabe Spider to the HB8,
You’re going to meet a TON of women, likely surrounded by very weak, young, nerdy guys, and approaching them is as easy as pie.
Because naturally every Pokemon-playing woman will drop her nerd friends to run off with a dude so alpha he spends much of his time moderating one of Reddit’s most pathetically terrible subreddits.
All of the hard work, such as breaking the ice, is already done for you. All you have to do is show up and spit your favorite day game.
You could always go with the Roosh favorite “do you know where I can find the pet shop?”
Lastly, holy sh*t the quantity and quality of women this game will put you into contact with is astounding. I was debating even posting this thread so I’d have them for myself and to keep this under the radar, but it’s too good not to share.
What a public-spirited fellow!
More people installed this game 1 week than have installed Tinder in the entire 5 years it’s existed! … This isn’t your standard pimply faced nerd game. Oh no, this is big, so big you’d be a fool not to leverage it to its full potential.
He ended his little testimonial with a joke that managed to link the most famous Pokemon catchphrase with sexually transmitted diseases.
Gotta catch ’em all indeed! Just be sure to wrap it up so you don’t, you know, actually catch ’em all.
Naturally, some in the subreddit were a little bit skeptical. “You didn’t pull a single one did you,” one Red Pill Redditor challenged.
Bsutansalt proudly acknowledged that well. no, he technically hadn’t. “Facebook and phone numbers only, he explained, as if pressuring a woman you don’t know to give you a quite possibly fake phone number is some sort of heroic achievement. Oh, and did I mention that they were half his age?
“All 18-26,” he announced proudly. “I’m 39.”
RED PILL VICTORY.
Some readers reported their amazing successes with this exciting new method of lady pestering.
Someone called maxbrooksmacbook boasted that
I literally downloaded this game twenty minutes ago and a young (20) woman already talked to me about it for five minutes at a pokespot
2legion327 said the he too had also completed the “talking to female human” quest.
Can confirm. A buddy and I did this in the middle of the square in our downtown area on Saturday. Dropped lures on two side-by-side pokestops with a pokegym situated within range as well. It was just us there when we started. Within 20 minutes, over 40 people had shown up with about a 50/50 M/F ratio. We chatted up several of the women.
Someone called Synzael went a bit further, laconically declaring that he had incorporated two new Pokeladies into his Pokeplate Pokeharem. “Ez.,” he assured his fellow Red Pillers, “already closed 2 new plates in 2 days.”
“No, you didn’t,” replied corsega, unconvinced by Synzael’s Pokebullsh*t.
She’s not a plate unless you’ve slept with her twice.
You got two leads.
Synzael insisted that he had too made the intercourse with two human females.
I mean I f*cked them once and already made plans to f*ck them again. They could totally flake but I doubt they will so yeah I labeled them plates. I’m not bullsh*tting… lol
Pressed for details, he added
I’m driving atm but I f*cked one earlier in the day then her mom made her come home the second was late around 1 am
I’m sorry, but all I can think of is Vincent Adultman from Bojack Horseman, the suave ladykiller who is actually two kids in a trenchcoat with a broom for an arm.
__ZEAL__, meanwhile, declared that he’d scored two new hotties and like a bunch more numbers without even trying that’s how cool he is.
In the past two days, 5 numbers(this is being lazy with it as well, not even bothering to put effort in), and two new girls I’m f*cking. I originally thought that the game was dumb as fuck, and people were childish for playing it. Still kind of do. But, as I saw all the pictures of people congregating due to this game, I realized just how crazy easy it becomes to be around women, without spending any money whatsoever, and having an easy in.
Also these women are super hot as this spreadsheet will show.
I now have two new women to f*ck, who are in the top ten hottest of the 60+ I’ve fucked already. I don’t even care what people think, this shit makes it so easy to get laid with no resources besides time.
Not everyone was convinced that using a silly little video game to pick up women was a truly masculine Red Pill thing to do.
“Playing video games is for man children,” one wrote. “This is a complete waste of time.”
In a followup comment, he went all cultural critic on Pokemon Go fans, telling them that they were
playing a part in the marketing machine that is destroying western society as we know it. The people who designed this game want nothing more than for you to hand your money/personal data over to them, thus raising their SMV, and lowering yours.
Apparently game designers can literally drain your Sexual Market Value through your phone.
Another cynical sort said that the original poster, despite being a mod of the subreddit, sounded a lot
like a paid marketer trying to infiltrate one of the most notoriously rigid communities to me. … Nice try, though, Nintendo.
Yeah, I’m sure Nintendo would just love to be associated with the dudes in the Red Pill subreddit.
Meanwhile, a fellow with the lovely name killxorxbexkilled took aim at those saying that Pokemon Go is promoting physical fitness by encouraging couch potato gamers to go for walks.
Ha ha ha ha…if you think shuffling around looking at your phone is in any way related to “health and fitness” you have got a LOT to learn. Tell you what u/inmemorieswetrust how about you post 3 or 4 pictures of yourself and I’ll post 3 or 4 pictures of myself and we’ll see whose idea of fitness is more in line with this sub? Seriously. Let’s see if your body can cash the check your mouth is writing.
DO YOU EVEN LIFT POKEBALLS, BRO?
H/T — Thanks to @cerebral_artery on Twitter, who alerted me to the Red Pill thread.
And restarting for the second time brought it back. The first time didn’t work but the second time it did. Phew! Sorry for the off topic whining!
With any luck, the PUAs will all land in the clutches of Poke-robbers, leaving the genuine game players alone.
Meanwhile, the beautiful black kitty who videobombed the rugby match is now a meme!
http://www.boredpanda.com/flying-cat-rugby-game-photoshop-battle
And it looks like the #1 entry is a Poke-critter.
Yeah, most of my problems logging in (the wife is playing, and she wants me to play it with her) come from the pokemon.com site, not Niantic’s servers.
If you’re logging in via your Google account, you might want to read this:
http://adamreeve.tumblr.com/post/147120922009/pokemon-go-is-a-huge-security-risk
He has an update that says that Niantic and Google are working on the whole “excessive permissions” issue, but still…
SLIGHTLY OFF TOPIC BUT STILL WONDERFUL NEWS:
http://scontent.cdninstagram.com/t51.2885-15/s480x480/e35/c0.100.799.799/13628078_1629323220714604_422090486_n.jpg
New Pokemon alert! This is Mimikkyu, the first ever ghost/fairy type!
It’s real body is hidden under a sheet, and it holds a stick to resemble a Pikachu’s tail! It’s said that whoever sees its real body will become ill, and the reason it dresses up as a Pikachu is because it wants to be loved just like Pikachus are!
And fanartists are already drawing it as different Pokemon!
http://67.media.tumblr.com/b5a17733429a266428465441d5f040d8/tumblr_oa7sb6OykL1u8aummo1_1280.png
I WILL PROTECT THIS SMOL BABY WITH MY LIFE.
There’s also another new Pokemon called Kiteruguma that’s supposed to be hella strong, so strong that the people of the new region are terrified of it and even have signs up to warn people away from it. (And it’s based off of the RED PANDA!!!)
Mimikkyu, I must protect it. I have an urge to smother this smol shadow and tell him he’s the most adorable thing in the whole wide world. Then show him all the cool places and knit him all sorts of outfits for him to wear, and make crochets for little dresses where he can fit into and do the lion king and-
This is the first time I thought to myself, yep, this is my poke. This guy is my guy. Come little Mimikkyu, we’ll travel far and wide, so everyone knows how great you truly are.
All this Pokémon stuff makes me feel old as hell. I was a teenager when it became a thing so I never got into it.
I seriously have no idea what you people are talking about
http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/fa/fa87a4aa3343c8063a073e8f11be03b29c8f12e7e1973f5b4f6808bf4e0760fd.jpg
This is also the first time that I’ve felt that way about any of the new pokemon. Like, the starters are cute, and I like Sandalit’s new type and abilities, but Mimikkyu is like THE pokemon I have to have on my team for Sun/Moon.
I can’t wait until merch comes out for it.
I also hope against hope that they’ll keep its Japanese name, since it also works so well in English (“Mimic you”).
WWTH, I’m with you. Pokemon was wayyyy after my time. Wanna sit in the corner and trade Garbage Pail Kids?
It does sound like a really fun and social game, but trust RedPillers to show up with boners a-quiver and ruin the fun. Pokemon, women, it’s all the same to them: objects to be hunted and caught.
Aww I don’t care what Mimikyuu looks like, I love you Mimikuu!
Buttercup,
Now you’re talking! Do you also remember My Little Pony before Friendship is Magic? Because I sure do!
I had this one. Bright Eyes.
http://i585.photobucket.com/albums/ss291/Arokiss/MLP%20Collection/BrightEyes.jpg
I’m pretty sure I also had this weird liony one
http://www.ponylandpress.com/us/images/kingsley.jpg
And a couple scratch n’ sniff ponies. A strawberry scented and ice cream scented one.
The permissions problem is only on iOS, according to the same guy in a FAQ.
MIMIKKYU IS FREAKIN’ ADORABLE.
Dammit. I thought I’d dodged the Pokemon bullet as far as buying actual games. Looks like I’m stealing my kiddo’s 3DS soon…
ETA: I had that liony pony thing too! My very first one was Butterscotch, but I had a TON of ponies eventually.
WWTH, Buttercup, may I join you in the “not that old but too old for this stuff” corner? I’ve got a VHS of the Lion King we can watch.
@EJ
Lion King: ’94
Pokemon Red and Blue: ’96
I fit both!
@PI, @Ooglyboggles
I’m baffled by this game.
But the ghost/fairy Mimikkyu is completely winsome.
Mimikkyu: the Higher Self, which dwells within?
************************
@Ooglyboggles
Yeah, I can understand this.
That’s the way I feel about manuscripts that I’ve edited. I feel as though, through my effort and love, I’ve done what I can to let their brilliance shine. Then I send them out into the world.
Fly, little manuscript, fly!
…Her mother made her come home? Dude, if she actually exists and you *were* molesting her or attempting to do so, only to be thwarted by her MOM demanding she get her butt home? Someone should staple a label to your forehead that says “I am a pervert who goes after underage girls!”
Just leave your name and address and I’ll be by with the label and my industrial stapler shortly.
@msexceptiontotherule:
When I read that, I assumed that it was just a particularly inventive excuse that the woman in question had given so that she didn’t have to be around him. The surprise is that he seemed to believe it.
I caught five Pokemans on my morning commute yesterday! (It’s OK, I was riding a bus – I can’t drive). And a sixth was sitting on my desk when I came in and I caught it too.
I still haven’t worked out what Pokespots are for. And I apparently haven’t leveled up enough to use a Pokegym.
Apparently, the Westboro Baptist Church was turned into a Pokemon Gym too, and was being ruled over by a Clefairy named LoveisLove.
So, the WBC caught a Jigglypuff to take on the “sodomite Clefairy” (they also caught a Pigeotto they named “GodHatesF*gs”, which has most likely been reported), and so far, they’ve apparently been too chickenshit to challenge them.
In case you think I’m making this up.
@Weirwoodtreehugger,
I’m with you, the appeal of Pokemon Go confuses the hell out of me. I was in my twenties when kids got obsessed with pokemon cards and tv shows, I didn’t get it back then either.
I am not remotely surprised redpillians are trying to jump on the bandwagon and try and use it to meet women. Because feigning an interest in something just to get people to interact with is so very alpha.
@PI
This is literally a plot straight from a pokemon episode. I feel like there should be an Ash Ketchum to come around and challenge this gym of with the power of friendship, love and pokemon.
Thank you Nintendo, you made real life in a pokemon game in more ways than you can imagine.
Pokéstops exist so you can get more Poké Balls without spending actual real-life hard-earned money. Which is nice I guess!
@ varalys
I have good and bad news: on the other hand, your sister is safe (unless she looks very young for her age). On the other hand, the creeps are so much creepier than you think. I will also turn 30 this year and I’ve been too old for them, including the 40-something ones, for a while now. The harassment was almost daily when I was ~16, hasn’t occurred even once since I turned 25 and was already rare by then anyway.
Yup.
@ wwth
Aww, I had a weird liony MLP-like thing too, I had forgotten all about it! It was dark grey and light blue, and it was my favourite. I built it a home out of a cardboard box.
@reimalebario
You tap on the pokespot, swipe the central image to make it spin, and it drops goodies (pokeballs and eggs). Very handy.
You can fight at a gym at level 5, or so Professor Whats-his-name keeps telling me. I haven’t made it that high yet, either.
If we’re talking G1 MLPs – I had several, but my favourite was Wind Whistler.
http://i.imgur.com/HQlKrJZ.jpg
ORIGINAL BEST PONY.