Breitbart’s Milo Yiannopoulos is less a journalist than a professional attention-seeker, building up his notoriety (and his Twitter followers) though an endless series of calculated outrages designed to delight his fanbase of garbage people while offending pretty much everyone else in the world. But even he seems to have gotten bored with this increasingly stale schtick.
His latest attempt at outrage — a Breitbart post titled “Why Women Should Leave The Internet” — is so predictable and pro-forma I wonder if he simply farmed the whole thing out to his alleged army of interns. Or cut and pasted it from some 4chan thread. It’s Internet Outrage by the numbers.
Milo and/or his minions start out with an old chestnut, sniping at women for allegedly “invading” the allegedly male spaces on the Internet.
Time for some honesty. Women are — and you won’t hear this anywhere else — screwing up the internet for men by invading every space we have online and ruining it with attention-seeking and a needy, demanding, touchy-feely form of modern feminism that quickly comes into conflict with men’s natural tendency to be boisterous, confrontational and delightfully autistic.
“You won’t hear this anywhere else?” Actually, you’ll hear it everywhere else.
Here’s my suggestion to fix the gender wars online: Women should just log off.
Aw, but Milo, then who would your fans have left to harass?
Given that men built the internet, along with the rest of modern civilisation, I think it’s only fair that they get to keep it.
We Hunted the Mammoth to Feed … Ourselves?
And given what a miserable time women are having on the web, surely they would welcome an abrupt exit. They could go back to bridge tournaments, or wellness workshops, or swapping apple crumble recipes, or whatever it is women do in their spare time.
I guess we have to give him a point for not mentioning cats in his hackneyed list of Dumb Lady Things That Dumb Ladies Like Because They’re Dumb.
I, Donald Trump and the rest of the alpha males will continue to dominate the internet without feminist whining. It will be fun! Like a big fraternity, with jokes and memes and no more worrying about whether an off-colour but harmless remark will suddenly torpedo your career.
And this would be different from the currently existing internet how?
Milo and other right-wingers love to go on about how “political correctness” is killing free speech, even as they make careers out of spouting “politically incorrect” blather designed to appeal to the Internet’s worst people. Meanwhile, harassers of women worry so little about having their careers “torpedoed” by saying something offensive online that they often post literal death threats under their own names.
Milo goes on to suggest that women should get their own separate-and-unequal internet, adding that “[w]e could probably throw in all of the low-T male feminists too, since they haven’t got any balls anyway.”
Evidently in Miloland this counts as some kind of EPIC BURN.
Apparently afraid he hasn’t offended enough people, Milo tosses in this random swipe at trans folks:
Transgender people won’t be able to use the internet at all because they won’t know which ethernet cable to plug in, but they’re generally too busy hacking away at their forearms to remember to check Gmail.
Oh, Milo, this is just plain embarrassing.
DELETE YOUR ACCOUNT.
H/T — Thanks to @JoeKlemmer for the tip.
You know, despite Milo’s professed love for Donald Trump I think he’s a bit jealous of him. Trump is drawing all the ire of the SJW while gamergate, MRAs and all the other usual suspects have fallen by the wayside. It’s like when a toddler gets a new baby sibling. Part of them loves the new baby and wants to help. Part of them hates no longer being the biggest baby in the room and getting the most attention.
I’m pretty sure it was Ada Lovelace (daughter of the poet Lord Byron) that invented the computer?
I guess Milo is also historically ignorant.
Littleknown,
Yeah, I thought it was pretty common knowledge that liberal humor is so much funnier. The conservative comedians I can think of like Kelsey Grammar and Dennis Miller are known for comedy that doesn’t have anything to do with their conservatism. There is no right wing equivalent to The Daily Show, Colbert Report, Full Frontal with Samantha Bee, John Oliver or Inside Amy Schumer. The closest thing to those would be the strain of privileged white guyism running in the veins of the ostensibly liberal Real Time with Bill Maher.
It’s always so silly to me when right wingers claim that liberals are humorless. I guess when your version of humor is lazy small minded shit like “poor people are lazy haha!” or “lol, trans women are men in dresses” it could seem that way though.
Personally, I think I always meet the wittiest people, off and online in progressive circles.
Milo’s readers picked up on the “irony” of his column, and supplied some of their own: The first highly-upvoted comment in the comment section is:
Followed by:
Irony. Irony everywhere!
@Sam
Close. Charles Babbage created the first computer and Ada Lovelace came up with the concept of programming it.
Wait, one of them thinks progressives hate Shakespeare because he was a white guy?
Today I learned that theater nerds are all conservatives. Who’d have thought?
I suppose the idea that progressives hate Shakespeare because he was a white guy is less silly than the idea that Bacon wrote Shakespeare using a decoder ring.
Sometimes we talk about ignoring those toxic people, and I’m usually of the mind that we shouldn’t because most of them don’t feed off attention, and will keep doing horrible things and supporting horrible ideologies if we simply look away.
Milo, though? I guess it’s worth looking at him as someone who can form opinions, but in and of itself ignoring him seems like a good idea. Whether or not he believes in everything he/his interns write doesn’t matter – his job is to be provocative, but his words are just hot air.
@littleknown
I actually like wench? Has an old-fashioned ring to it. I’m honestly more offended at the guy who insulted Shakespeare.
EDIT: Oh, he was actually saying that feminists hate Shakespeare because he was a white dude? Oh, man, I love when they don’t know the first thing about anything! 😀
These guys like to think they’re Petruchio, but they’re really just Iago.
Littleknown: If anyone calls me any of those things, I’ll just flummox their little man-baby Milo-addled brains by acting proud (even though I am a virgin). Also, LMFIAO (Laughing my feckin’ Irish arse off) at the ridiculous straw-person claim that all liberals hate Shakespeare because he was a white man. (My real name comes from a Shakespeare tragedy…and it sounds somewhat like the first half of my user name).
@Viscaria: Could I also steal your “warm mayonnaise sandwich” insult?
@RosaDeLava:
Same here.
Yes, shame girls and women. And then cry about why women don’t like you. It’s a mystery. I’m not sure we’ll ever be able to figure it out.
Milo is like rain on your wedding day.
@WWTH
Wasn’t Shakespeare maybe gay? That means he was probably part of the global SJW conspiracy even back then! That would explain Lady MacBeth. She was an instruction manual for eeevul feminists! The horror…
As an autistic woman, it wasn’t just the erasure of autistic women that made me laugh; it was the implication that men’s behavior on the Internet mimics autism. “Autism” and “being a piece of shit” are not even remotely the same thing. In real life, men (generally) are so much less understanding and so much crueler to me in regard to my autism than neurotypical women.
Lady MacBeth was consumed by guilt over her misandries.
I’m pretty sure I stole that mayonnaise sandwich thing from somewheres else, so all are welcome to it 🙂
We introduced a friend’s sister to the joys of Land Rover off-roading.
She turned out to have a natural aptitude for pulling out of sticky situations and declared that henceforth we were to call her “The Winch Wench”.
This is why I ignore people like Milo or Ann Coulter. They just want people to pay attention to them and feed on their outrage. The worse thing you can do to them is ignore them and refuse to be outraged by them
@Shannon
Also, Hello, Shannon!
New rule: If at any point you feel the need to tell anyone you’re an alpha male, you are not an alpha male.
We can call it the Milo Principle.
Always the misandering feminazis making men do bad things! She probably hypnotized poor Macbeth with her zombifying vagina goo. What a woman won’t do in the name of hypergamy!
This obviously details Lady Macbeth’s desire to cut her hair short, get a tattoo and get fat all because there’s nothing feminists love more than looking unpleasing to boners.
Wait a minute? Are Lady Macbeth and Overlord Katie…the same person!?
Hi, Shannon! Welcome. I have cookies.
Reminds me of that old Onion article about Marilyn Mason losing his shock factor and being reduced to going door to door yelling ‘boo!’
This is off topic but too good not to share. Remember about a year ago when there was a post about cuck obsessed racists having a conspiracy that the Nickelodeon show Bella and the Bulldogs was secretly trying to brainwash children into being cucks/cuckolding?
Gawker also had a post about it and I commented on it. A year later a cuckspiracy theorist necro’d the thread to call me a reverse racist for dismissing the theory! It was hilarious.
http://internet.gawker.com/conspiracy-theory-that-an-interracial-cuckold-porn-dire-1783179287
And it appears that he created an account only a day to reply to a bunch of other people on the same topic!
https://kinja.com/sklorax/discussions
Sorry if no one cares. I just thought it was super funny.
@FlawedVictori
The phrasing of “delightfully autistic” is a dead give-away too. I’ve never seen any group as fond of stretching/abusing the definition of autism as much as #channers.