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We’ve met Ian Ironwood before, a Men’s Rights Activist and sexbot enthusiast with retrograde views on gender and a taste for similarly retro art from the fifties. Ironwood is a prodigious meme-maker, but one with a tendency to repeat himself.
One of his primary themes — you might even call it an obsession — is the notion that HA HA FEMINISTS, NO MAN WILL EVER WANT YOU. Today, we’ll examine just how Ironwood conveys this totally super original notion with the help of old magazine illustrations.
May you have full knowledge of your death, with no power to change it.
@varalys
When I’m out of (for example) chicken flavour and only have (for example) beef flavour, but my cat’s dead set on chicken, damnit, he’ll sit by the full bowl and yowl until I run to the store. Even if it’s 1 am. Especially if it’s 1 am.
EJ, I’m still laughing at your comment on the Maldives.
@SFHC: Hah, funny thing is my cat is not fussy about the flavour of food in his bowl, just the amount. He has always been utterly neurotic about the amount of food in his bowl. He eats a dry only diet (fine as long as plenty of water is on hand) and never eats more than a few mouthfuls at a time. He’s a snacker. Anyway I too have had to do the late night walk to the 24 hour Tesco not because he’s run out of food, just that he might possibly, conceivably see the bottom of the dish before I do the morning shop. Gah!
@Mish
Someone else must share in my mundane pain! I’ve deliberately stayed up all night so as to be sleepy enough in the morning to damn near pass out. Not enough fans on planet Earth! And the spiders… Never seen so many spiders indoors in my life…
May you (not you, Mish, you’re cool 🙂 ) have more than enough milk but no cereal
May you write a detailed grocery list only to forget it, but then, when you get home, you realize you had it with you the whole time
May you unwittingly click on your anti fetish halfway thru a… session
My mom’s cat (who became my cat) would complain if he could see the bottom of the bowl, even just a sliver of it. All you had to do was go shake the bowl so that the food covered it again and he was happy. But it was the end of the world until you fixed it.
I wouldn’t know what that’s like. At all. *shifty eyes*
May you suddenly have to urinate every night once you finally get into a comfortable and relaxed position in bed.
May you get Call Me, Maybe stuck in your head all day every day for the rest of your life.
May every flight you take be delayed and overbooked.
Is that last one too mean?
@opposablethumbs
Oi! I just bought oyster cards last night, for our upcoming London trip. :p
@chesselwitt: My cat quickly grew wise to the shaking of the bowl. Now it’s a pile he daintily nibbles the top off, or squawking his head off. And on that note another cat based curse:
May you settle into a nice hot bath and your cat demands to be let out right NOWNOWNOWNOW!!!
May your friends call you to see if you want to meet up for dinner right after you just put a burrito into the microwave.
(This one sums up my 4 years of undergraduate education.)
The person making these memes has a very unrealistic view of feminism, isn’t in touch with reality (as many feminists are married), and wrongly implies that all men think this way. These memes make me wonder if this man has a diagnosable mental illness or at least an unhealthy obsession with misogynistic ideas.
May your typos be as embarassing as mine.
I look forward to them licking ass and chewing bubble gun.
Stroke when the iron is hot!
Dodom:
This could turn into inadvertent Pavlovian conditioning, though. You could end up training a generation of men to ejaculate whenever they hear the word “intersectionality”.
Ha, IP, then the world (or at least London) is definitely your lobster!
@ leftwingfox
A text conversation from a few years back (when I lived on a dairy farm)
We did have a talk. That’s how I discovered that in predictive text ‘cows’ comes out as ‘boys’.
May your team always consist of loud 12-year-olds who think squealing pseudo swears into the headset is the most edgy and intimidating thing ever.
I love all of these curses so much. Some of them are so evil.
May you forever be confronted by protagonists in video games and films who aren’t straight white men.
“May you play a plot-heavy game with subtitles so hopelessly, incomprehensibly misspelled that you miss half of what’s going on.”
In honour of Capcom. =P
Please check out the comments policy.
Yeah, so, it’s a choice between Stepford Wife and badass witch with a furry familiar? Not really a tough call. And am I supposed to be less disgusted by changing nappies and encouraging a human being to barf on my shoulder than by scooping up some dried sandy turds and the occasional hairball?
May the fire alarm always go off right as you reach the climax of your best joke or story.
May your shift, caps, and spellcheck functionalities break so that you’re forced to copy and paste for every capital in a long, important paper you’re writing.
May construction noise wake you up 10 minutes before your alarm would have gone off every morning.
May your menses fall ONLY outside the pad.
May you be the houseguest of someone with only a kitchen trash can during your period.
May you never find a comfortable position for your testicles on your bike seat. (Is that a thing?)
May you be either so tall that your knees bump the airplane seat in front of you or so short that your feet dangle above the floor and strain your knees.
May you be mistaken for a minor celebrity that passersby can’t quite place so that they furrow their brows at you but never come up to you.
May you wake up every morning having vividly dreamt that you already fulfilled some task and then realise you still need to do so.
May you spontaneously travel in time as soon as you’ve acclimated to one era.
May all your jigsaw puzzles be missing one piece.
May you get brain freeze from any consumable below room temperature.
Dammit, this is addictive.
May you get addicted to coming up with curses and waste away your precious study time.
@Tovius Yes.
http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/may-your-marinara-sauce-never-stick.jpg
@(((Boogerghost)))
Back before my most recent haircut last December, I was told by three separate people that I looked like Dave Grohl.
Are you the guy I was staring at the other day because he looked like a clone of George RR Martin right down to the suspenders and hat? =P
@(((Boogerghost)))
You inspired me:
May the fire alarm always go off right as you reach your climax.
@Kat
Well, that’s just not safe…