Categories
creepy empathy deficit entitled babies men who should not ever be with women ever narcissism PUA

“The #Istanbul attacks cockblocked me,” pickup artist complains

Terrorism, so inconvenient
Terrorism, so inconvenient

The quarterly WHTM Pledge Drive continues! If you appreciate this blog, and can afford it, please click the “donate” button below. Thanks!

Pity poor “Kyle Trouble,” the pickup artist. The globetrotting woman-pesterer was enjoying the second day of a trip to Istanbul yesterday when bombs went off at the airport, killing more than 40 people.

An hour later, Kyle posted to his blog “This Is Trouble,” complaining that “the #Istanbul attacks JUST cockblocked me.”

That’s a kind of collateral damage of terrorism that you don’t generally hear much about.

“In case you missed it,” Kyle wrote.

two bombs went off at the airport about an hour or so ago.

I’m staying in the Taksim Square area, and most people are still out and seem relatively unaffected, but the streets are quieting down a bit early.

Oh, and my date just got a phone call in the middle of our drinks and left because she didn’t feel safe in the center.

My attempts at, “My apartment is a great place to hide out”, did not end so well.

If Kyle Trouble can’t score himself a hottie tonight, does that mean that the terrorists have won?

Subscribe
Notify of
guest

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

40 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
littleknown
littleknown
4 years ago

When you’re writing things that would make people go, “That’s a little far, even for The Onion“, it might be time to take a long, hard look at yourself.

They are beyond parody at this point.

Film Runner
Film Runner
4 years ago

The Onion should publish one ridiculous real news story every day and challenge its readers to spot it.

bekabot
bekabot
4 years ago

Gives the phrase “first-world problems” a whole new dimension.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

Oh, and my date just got a phone call in the middle of our drinks and left because she didn’t feel safe in the center.

I’m probably being horribly cynical here. However I can’t help but think that, even without the atrocity, there’d have been a phone call from a friend so she’d have an excuse to leave.

Norah
Norah
4 years ago

^^^This^^^

Scildfreja
Scildfreja
4 years ago

What a horrible human being 😐 Sigh.

Axecalibur
Axecalibur
4 years ago

ISIS must be stopped! A guy named Kyle Trouble (dude, that’s supposed to be your middle name) missed out on some strange. Don’t worry, Kyle, Obama and the full force of the United States military are on the case. We’ll be sure to specifically clear terrorists from areas you’ll be visiting. We wouldn’t want you to have to cut another date short cos dozens of people died. You’ll be balls deep again in no time!
http://funnypicturesplus.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/obama-middle-finger-funny.jpg
Jackass…

Imaginary Petal
Imaginary Petal
4 years ago

Isn’t Turkey like 97% muslim? What’s this guy doing trying to get laid with these alleged savages.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

@ axe ‘danger’ calibur

dude, that’s supposed to be your middle name

Brilliant.

kupo
kupo
4 years ago

@littleknown

When you’re writing things that would make people go, “That’s a little far, even for The Onion“, it might be time to take a long, hard look at yourself.

QFT

@Film Runner
They actually have a feature called American Voices that has parody responses to actual news stories. Without fail the Facebook comments on those are full of people calling everyone idiots for believing it’s true because the onion posted it.

Bina
4 years ago

Far be it from me to root for the terrorists, but in this case, I could make an exception.

(That was sarcasm, in case anyone needed it.)

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
4 years ago

@Alan
Damn right

ETA: moderation, yay!

(((Her Grace Phryne))): Tool of the Butt-Worshipping, Lesbian-Powered Elite
(((Her Grace Phryne))): Tool of the Butt-Worshipping, Lesbian-Powered Elite
4 years ago

I shouldn’t still be amazed that people are this self-centered, but here we are.

Alais
4 years ago

I like how these pillocks regularly accuse women of being selfish, narcissistic, and solipsistic, and then turn around and write something like this.

Virgin Mary
Virgin Mary
4 years ago

Absolutly disgusting. 40 something people dead and all he can think about is his boner. What a repulsive man. Selfish, entitled and misogynistic shitbag.

Paradoxical Intention - Mobile
Paradoxical Intention - Mobile
4 years ago

Alais | June 29, 2016 at 2:22 pm
I like how these pillocks regularly accuse women of being selfish, narcissistic, and solipsistic, and then turn around and write something like this.

That about sums it up.

“Women are selfish [slurs], who are just out to destroy (white) men! So men need to be selfish assholes to protect themselves and to attract the women!”

Edit: David, there’s an ad titled “10 things men find unattractive” under the You might like section.

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo
weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo
4 years ago

Yeah, they accuse feminists of only being concerned with first world problems and yet they’re the ones making their dicks the center of the universe.

Is this the same PUA Kyle who complained about his date wanting to go for pancakes in the morning?

Paradoxical Intention - Mobile
Paradoxical Intention - Mobile
4 years ago

@WWTH: If he is, then his girlfriend who he was totes cheating on while he was totes negging us must have finally dumped his ass.

Virgin Mary
Virgin Mary
4 years ago

Were the women he was seeking to “pick up” or rape Muslim women? Isn’t this the highest form of hypocrisy for these Nazis?

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo
weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo
4 years ago

PI,

I love it when trolls come here and try to impress us with their (actually pretty boring and probably imaginary) sexcapades. It’s so much more entertaining than the usual sealion.

Alais
4 years ago

WWTH, PI,

Where was this thread? And what was wrong with having pancakes in the morning? Pancakes are delicious, and IHOP is wonderful.

Paradoxical Intention - Resident Cheeseburger Slut

@Alais: Here you go.

Oh, and if that wasn’t enough, he tried to come in and pitch his book and website to us too, and we were all just having a laugh at that dude’s expense.

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo
weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo
4 years ago

Oh, it is the same Kyle. Of course it is. Maybe he’ll come here to brag again about how he can’t type properly because of all the sex he’s having. He totally wasted an opportunity to give us cool stories about getting sex in the middle of bomb rubble or some other gross shit.

pitshade
pitshade
4 years ago

she didn’t feel safe in the center.

I wonder why that is, hmm?

Argle Bargle (formerly Carr)
Argle Bargle (formerly Carr)
4 years ago

This is the same guy that came to troll the comments after his pancake whine fest. When he was totally having sex with a real lady, but still had the time to post comments. And this totally real lady wasn’t his girlfriend either!
I’d actually be surprised if Kyle here was out with someone at all.

But really, even if he was – 40 people die and his reaction is ”I didn’t get to have sex”. Well boo-hoo, you little puke.

I like how these pillocks regularly accuse women of being selfish, narcissistic, and solipsistic, and then turn around and write something like this.

Spot on.

Kat
Kat
4 years ago

Kyle thinks he’s being funny by (allegedly) thinking about his dick while (allegedly) bombs are going off (not where he is, of course).

The joke’s on you, Kyle — if you were half as alpha as you claim to be, she would’ve stayed until you got off. And then left when you were done with her.

Here’s what you don’t understand about being an alpha, Kyle: a real alpha never experiences any trouble or inconvenience. No illness. No money woes. No sadness because others are sad. Nope! Just winning all the time.

So you, Kyle, are at best, a wannabe.

Probably not even that.

(((Her Grace Phryne))): Tool of the Butt-Worshipping, Lesbian-Powered Elite
(((Her Grace Phryne))): Tool of the Butt-Worshipping, Lesbian-Powered Elite
4 years ago

I just read the comments on the other post, and wow. Dude got butthurt because nobody was listening to him, then tried to excuse typos by saying he was having sex at the time? AND tried to sell his “book”?

Clearly he hasn’t learned anything since then. Wonder what happened to the “girlfriend”. I hope she’s safe and happy.

And I have to thank you, because now I know what we’re having for dinner. Yep, as the lone woman in the house, I’m going to force these males to have PANCAKES. I just haven’t decided what kind yet… strawberry or gingerbread?

Alais
4 years ago

@PI,

Thanks for the link. So, looks like this is the same Kyle who was having such boring sex that he thought that he’d have more fun coming here to neg a bunch of females who aren’t even halfway decent-looking.

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
4 years ago

Now I want pancakes and bacon.

Kat
Kat
4 years ago

Pancakes again? Picking up our discussion where we left off months ago?

Yes!

Thanks, Kyle, for reminding us once again about how delicious pancakes are!

You may now resume your negging or fucking (as if) or writing (ha, ha, ha!) or whatever else you were doing before you became aware that we were talking about YOU.

(((Her Grace Phryne))): Tool of the Butt-Worshipping, Lesbian-Powered Elite
(((Her Grace Phryne))): Tool of the Butt-Worshipping, Lesbian-Powered Elite
4 years ago

We had gingerbread pancakes and I even taught the boys how to cook them. Woohoo, where’s my misandry points? And if I save enough of them, can I trade them in for prizes?

Alais
4 years ago

@Kat,

Kyle must be particularly unhappy person. Not only does he refrain getting enough sleep. (Which one can do and still be intensely productive.) Oh no. He can’t properly enjoy pancakes or sex because he spends too much time being angry at women.

weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo
weirwoodtreehugger: communist bonobo
4 years ago

Misandry is a reward in and of itself.

Norah
Norah
4 years ago

Good sleep is essential to life. It’s really hard to function without it; could explain a lot about this guy.

Paradoxical Intention - Resident Cheeseburger Slut

Victorious Parasol | June 29, 2016 at 6:59 pm
Now I want pancakes and bacon.

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
4 years ago

Dang it, PI, it’s too late in my day to be makin’ bacon pancakes. 😉

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
4 years ago

@PI
You beat me to it by like 5 seconds (couldn’t decide whether to do the New York remix or not)

mildlymagnificent
mildlymagnificent
4 years ago

Your Grace

where’s my misandry points? And if I save enough of them, can I trade them in for prizes?

Katie’s to do list is pretty full at the moment. Perhaps a note to Feminist HQ would move things along for you.

BritterSweet
4 years ago

What a surprise. /sarcasm

Whenever some sort of disaster occurs, you can pretty much always count on someone from within the manosphere a.) celebrating it because some people from groups they didn’t like were killed, b.) celebrating how upset it makes other people, bonus if feminists are among them, c.) blaming it on women/girls not having sex with them or being subservient to men, d.) making it about them and their struggles of not getting what they want, or e.) all of the above.

Kevin
Kevin
4 years ago

Just when I thought those oiks from the manureosphere couldn’t go any lower… (facepalms.)