Of all the obnoxious responses to my post last night on #Brexit, the most puzzling one came from former Honey Badger Brigader Rachel Edwards:
https://twitter.com/naughty_nerdess/status/746215478138306560
My first reaction? DonDraperSaysWhat.gif.
I asked my Twitter followers if they had any idea what she was talking about. It turns out she was referring to a recent blog post by our dear old friend Scott “Yeah, the guy who does Dilbert” Adams in which Mr. Adams suggested that v-neck sweaters are “the uniform of a man who is owned by a woman.”
So Ms. Edwards was evidently trying to suggest that I’m so totally owned by women that I not only wear v-neck sweaters but … I really really like it. Which would be a rather weird insult even if I did own any v-neck sweaters. I mean, I’m not going to lie, I have owned v-neck sweaters before, but I’m pretty sure I got rid of them all in my last big clothes purge after realizing I hadn’t worn any of them in maybe 15 years.
But enough about my sweater preferences. The big question is: why on earth does Scott Adams think that v-neck sweaters are some kind of dire threat to American masculinity?
Let’s take a look at Adams’ blog post on the subject yesterday, titled (and I’m not making this up) “The Humiliation of the American Male in 2016.”
Perhaps the biggest unreported story of this presidential election is the humiliation of the American male. Unless I’m blinded by confirmation bias – which is entirely possible – it seems to me that the humiliation of American men is now institutionalized in the media.
His evidence? A TV commercial in which a henpecked husband gets sent back to the store after buying the wrong brand of dishwasher detergent.
[T]ake careful note of the American man’s v-neck sweater,” Adams writes. “That’s the uniform of a man who is owned by a woman.”
Adams continues:
You’re laughing because you know it’s true.
Wrong on both counts.
How many of the married men reading this blog have received those same sweaters as “gifts” from women? Personally, I’ve received about 25 over the years. None from men.
25 sweaters? Twenty. Five. Why … are women giving Scott Adams so many goddamn sweaters? Who are these women?
I received three of those sweaters so far this year. I throw them away. Nice try.
Note to self: Never buy anything for Scott Adams, ever.
Many of you can’t talk about this topic without being accused of sexism, losing your jobs, and being cast out of your social groups.
First they came for the sweater-talker-abouters …
But I can talk about it because I endorse Hillary Clinton for president. I did that for my personal safety, because I live in California, but still, I’m on the progressive side now. That gives me some extra freedom of speech.
This is a reference to Adams’ hi-larious fake endorsement for Hillary Clinton that was really an endorsement for Trump — who Adams thinks will win the election in a landslide by rallying a silent majority of men who are too afraid to talk about sweaters publicly.
The dishwasher soap commercial should give you a hint of how big that turnout might be. You might not notice the size of the coming tsunami because American men generally don’t voice their humiliation in public. …
But in the privacy of the polling booth, the men who don’t talk are free to act.
Take that, mean imaginary ladies who force men in v-neck sweaters to go back to the store to buy the correct soap!
You can criticize Donald Trump on many dimensions. You can say he’s not really a great businessman. You can say he’s offensive. You can say he lies. You can hate his position on issues. You can say he has insufficient policy details. And lots more. But I think we all agree that Melania never asks Donald to go back to the store because he’s too dumb to buy the right kind of soap on the first try.
I predict you will see the largest male turnout of any presidential election in American history.
I’m not so sure, Scott. I can think of one thing that might derail the Trump Train: Photographic evidence of Donald Trump wearing the V-Neck Sweater of Male Humiliation.
But surely there can’t be such … oh, wait a minute. Literally 30 seconds of Googling produces this:
Congratulations, Hillary, on your impending landslide victory!
@Imaginary Petal
Those pants are entirely too large. It’s actually bugging the crap outta me.
I want to buy him new pants! But he would probably throw them out.
I bought my fiance a cool t-shirt from Ross one day when he was having a tough week.
I also just bought him a gameboy Bento lunchbox and a sandwich cutter that turns your sandwich into Tetris pieces.
I want to ask him what this all means according to his Universe. I think I will! Off to Twitter!
In the SE US, a jumper is a set of long cables for starting vehicles with dead batteries. 😉
@ chippywillbethere
It would be more likely because I tend to get lost between the hamper and the dryer.
I wear button down shirts tucked into my pants unless I’m wearing them unbuttoned over a t-shirt.
I don’t even play Tetris and I want that.
@ hippodaemia
Thank you, that’s what I was thinking of. Over here jumper and sweater are (I think) the same thing. *stands by to be corrected*
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep?
1)I hate sweaters. I hate v neck anything. That must mean I’ve been an Alpha all along!
2)ya know, Scott, you could just tell people not to get you sweaters. I know our gifting culture requires you not be aware of what your gonna get before you get it. Still, if it’s such an insult, use you words
3)@IP
Don’t stop speaking truth. Cos, Scott
Not working
Wooly jumper?
Seriously! Did women buy that outfit for him too, or did he shrink six inches since he bought it?
@ pitshade
🙂
And you definitely can’t wear those to a formal event.
You might start something.
I wear button-down shirts tucked into my trousers every day. I usually wear a tie as well. I’m devastated to find that IP disagrees with me.
Although that said, my trousers do totally look like a snake devouring me.
@Katz:
Zing!
Sorry if this has already been said. I’m fairly sure that when Scott Adams was first developing his ideas for Dilbert, he showed a few of his early sketches to a female acquaintance and asked her what she thought. This female acquaintance then told him that she didn’t find it funny, or some other criticism.
Point is, she didn’t gush over it, laugh her ass off, declare it the wittiest cartoon ever to have witted, and beg him to sleep with her. From this point on, Adams was convinced that men are under attack.
UK Wooly jumper= US/Canada sweater
US/Canada jumper = this thing:
http://www.swingoutfits.com/pictures/jumper.jpg
Feel free to edit as per your region. 🙂
It reminds me of when my son would dress up in his father’s clothes when he was 4.
I’m not going to lie: I fucking love cowl-neck sweaters.
I hate having things right up against my neck, so turtlenecks are out, but I like having the ability to cover up my neck because one, it gets cold, and two, I have a bit of odd discoloration and scaly skin on my neck that I don’t want others to see.
With a cowl neck, I get the best of both worlds! And fuck whoever wrote that blog post about “vagina necks” A Rose For Emily posted earlier because I think they’re fantastic (and a double “fuck you”, blog post author, for your slut shaming. That dress looks lovely).
As for the Tetris sandwich cutter: Do want. That sounds awesome!
I have one that turns my sandwich into a closed sandwich pouch that has a panda face, and what I liked to do was fill it with tuna salad mixed with shredded cheese, and lightly fry it until the sides were crispy and golden brown, and then the inside would be delightfully warm and gooey with cheese. And when my college had their toaster oven, I used to pack one or two in my bento box, and put them in there to slowly toast!
It’d also be really good with some lunchmeat and cheese as well.
As for the leftover crusts, I stored them in a ziploc bag, and whenever the bag was full, I’d make a bread pudding out of them!
@Fishy Goat and the Jumper talk: I think when it’s got pants or shorts instead of a skirt, they’re called “rompers” instead of jumpers, right? Like this came up for a “romper” Google search:
@IP
The extra material is for “adjusting” the tuck essentially, depending on your body shape and whatnot, as well as making sure the tuck “stays”. Without it, the bottom of the shirt can ride up above the belt line. More casual button-downs (e.g. plaid flannels) aren’t exclusively intended to be tucked, so the “tails” at the bottom of the shirt are much shorter.
@ Paradoxical – pretty much. 🙂
And seriously, that ‘vagina neck’ article was rather…hrm.
I know this is being said but I’m blown away by what a rude dick cheese this Scott Adams is.
First he gets huffy over a dish detergent commercial, the he admits he’s been throwing away people’s gifts for years.
What a prick
Probably not, although she might have yelled at the butler or whoever goes out and buys groceries for rich people. Is emasculating the butler just as evil as emasculating the husband, I wonder.
I also doubt Drumpf has ever been in a grocery market ever, let alone shopped in one.
If it’s like a (US) jumper with shorts, it is a romper but if it’s with pants, then it becomes a jumpsuit or overalls.
I only wear hoodies if I need something warm but not a full on coat. I’d guess in Adam’s type logic that would make me a thug.
ETA: oh and my favorite is front zipped with a sports team name/logo, so definitely thug.
@Paradoxical Intention:
That is indeed a very silly name. Of course they’re not ‘vagina necks’! I mean, jeez. How would that even work?
No, clearly what they are is labia necks.
And for the record, I love cowl neck sweaters/shirts, too. They’re comfy and look great. I guess maybe I’m just a little immature, but for me at least, the fact that they can look kinda labia-ish is really part of their awesomeness. You can imagine your head as a sort of giant clit. 🙂
(Also for the record, I did not read that linked article, which definitely sounds annoying.)
@dlouwe
Sooo… you need to tuck it into your pants because it’s way too long. And it needs to be way too long because you’re tucking it into your pants.
See this shit? Folks, it makes NO SENSE. 😉
@EJ
Surely I don’t need to argue for the fact that ties are useless.
@IP:
They’re totally useless. However, I look good in a tie, and that matters to me.